Babe Watch (3 Stars)

As I've often pointed out, this blog isn't primarily a film review site, it's a film diary. It lists every single film I've watched, in the cinema or at home, since September 2010. If I've forgotten when I last saw a film, I check my alphabetical list of posts for the date. If it's not in the list, I haven't watched it; or at least I haven't watched it since September 2010. "Babe Watch" is missing from my list, but I was sure I'd watched it, so I checked my Amazon order history. There it is, I bought it on 7th July 2009!

"Babe Watch" was a bonus film on the DVD with "The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful", a good film that I've watched before and after September 2010. But why did I never return to watch "Babe Watch"? My curiosity got the better of me. I pulled it off the shelf, poured myself a glass of Mountain Dew and settled to watch it.

The film is described on the cover as a parody of "Baywatch". If that had been the case, I might have liked it more. The film follows the mishaps of six young people who are training to be lifeguards. The trouble is that the film doesn't stick to the story. One of the women works in a store selling bikinis. Another is an aspiring actress. We see too much of these topics. It's as if the director, Rick Sloane, didn't have enough ideas for a Baywatch parody, so he threw in whatever else he could think of at random.

Another thing that bothers me is that there are so many stupid characters. The three men in the picture above are all clumsy and stupid, knocking over the shelves in the bikini store. One of the women is stupid as well. So we have four out of six dumb characters, and the humour is too repetitive to carry a 90-minute film.

The film is exceedingly dull. The only thing in its favour is the gratuitous nudity. Otherwise I would have given it a lower rating. Ironically, the most beautiful women in the film aren't the main actresses, it's the non-speaking extras. Here's a screenshot of Patcharee Clark, who takes place in a beach beauty contest. We see her on screen for about 30 seconds, which is 90 minutes too short.

I think Patcharee is beautiful, but Alison obviously doesn't approve of her costume.

I shan't watch "Babe Watch" again. I have better things to do with my time.