Timeless (4 Stars)

Today I watched "Timeless" with three fellow film fans. Two of them said it was one of the worst films they'd ever seen. The third remained quiet. Is it really so bad?

The critics evidently disagree. "Timeless" has won awards at many small film festivals. I'm not saying that critics are infallible, but this shows that the film can't be dismissed as trash.

I've written detailed reviews in the past. You can find them here and here. Today I'll just ask a few questions.

The film shows Arnold as an accidental time traveller, jumping from Germany in the year 1932 to 2020. He wants to return to his own time, but he's warned that Germany will soon become a Nazi state. What should he do?

1. He should remain in the relative peace of the 21st Century.

2. He should return to 1932 and emigrate to Switzerland.

3. He should return to 1932 and attempt to change time by stopping the Nazis before they gain power.

My choice would be number two, but only after I've gathered the major sporting results of the last 90 years, as well as a few Lotto draws. Isn't that what someone did in "Back To The Future 2"? I know it's being selfish, but what's wrong with selfishness if it doesn't harm anyone else. Uh oh, now I'm sounding like a Wiccan.

Politicians are punished by a dominatrix who calls them capitalist pigs. That's common in many sado-masochistic games. (I emphasise the word "game"). Someone does something that he feels guilty about, so he feels the need to be punished. Alternatively, a person isn't actually doing anything wrong, but he likes to be punished by someone (pretending to be) the opposite of what he stands for. For instance, a racist might like to be punished by a black dominatrix. A Fascist might like to be punished by a dominatrix shouting Communist slogans. I wonder what sort of dominatrix Vladimir Putin visits. He's always speaking out against homosexuality, so I expect he bends over to be fucked by a dominatrix with a big strap-on.

Of course, in BDSM games the submissive is in control, because he can always use his safe word to make the dominatrix stop. In real BDSM the dominatrix is in control and dictates when and if the punishment should end.

I've been assuming that BDSM involves the woman being the dominant and the man being the submissive. It can be the other way round, but there's usually a big difference. If a man is the dominant partner, he uses BDSM as foreplay for sexual intercourse. If a woman is the dominant, BDSM is an end in itself and doesn't lead to sex. A major part of the domination is leaving the man sexually frustrated.

"Timeless" is no longer available on disc, but the director Alexander Tuschinski has posted it on his YouTube channel. Click here to watch it.