Avengers: Endgame (5 Stars)

While I was in Birmingham this week I went to see "Avengers: Endgame" again. It was suggested by my daughter Fiona. She saw it last week, but she didn't understand it. That's not surprising. The first MCU film that she watched was "Black Panther". "Endgame" – I'll shorten the title – refers to so much of the early films that it must be totally incomprehensible to any johnny-come-latelys. Or should that be spelt johnny-come-latelies? I don't know if there's a special rule for the plurals of adverbs.

I sat explaining to Fiona the previous 21 MCU films, concentrating on the ones most prominently referenced in "Endgame": "The Avengers", "Thor: Dark World" and "Guardians of the Galaxy". At first she sat attentively, but as I continued she was overwhelmed by the long list of names and her face went blank. She found a full review of "Endgame" in YouTube and listened to the first minute, but it was awful. The reviewer was just rattling off the plot at a breakneck speed, which confused her even more.

So we went to the cinema. There was a 4DX screening at Cineworld on Broad Street, which we chose because neither of us have seen 4DX films before. If you don't know this technology, it's a way to immerse the viewer in a film by provoking his other senses, not just sight and sound.

This is the 4DX theatre in Cineworld Broad Street. Eight rows with 20 seats each, arranged in groups of four. The gap at the front left is possibly for wheelchair users, but I would have to ask about that. I don't consider 4DX suitable for wheelchair users, unless the functionality is limited.

I know that it's officially been allowed to give away "Endgame" spoilers now, but I shan't. I'll just review the 4DX experience.

There are extensive warnings on the door before you enter. You shouldn't use 4DX if you're pregnant, you shouldn't use 4DX if you're shorter than 1.30 meters (4'3"), plus many seemingly random restrictions. The cinema obviously wants to protect itself from all possible lawsuits.

When you sit down you're supposed to put your head on the headrest and your feet on the footrest. The only controls on the seat itself are for the water. You can turn off the water sprays to stop yourself getting wet. That's a setting for wimps. Why would anyone want to stay dry in a cinema?

The most enjoyable feature was the chair motion. The chairs move in all directions at different speeds. When there are fights the motion is fast and jerky. I found it effective that when a plane was flying the chair very slowly tilted forward, giving the impression of movement.

There was frequent wind blowing, mainly from my left. That's possibly because I was sitting on the left of the four-chair group. It gave me the impression of being outside. This was mostly appropriate.

One strange feature is the vibration of the chairs. This was usually done whenever there was a loud noise. I found it somewhat arousing, because the vibrations went straight through my testicles. I suspect that it might be even more exciting for women. However, I have to admit that despite the cheap thrill this did nothing to enhance the movie experience.

During the fights I was sometimes poked by a rod underneath my right shoulder blade. When I checked the chairs afterwards I found two rods, on the left and the right, but the left rod was never used. Maybe it was broken on my chair. This was a weird feeling. It would have had to hit me a lot harder to simulate a fight.

There was a very pleasant smell in the scene where Thanos is walking in his garden. I liked it a lot. The scent feature was only used in this one scene. I would like to experience it in a film more often, so I can compare the scents, whether they change from scene to scene.

One thing I didn't like was the lights that flashed on the sides of the theatre when there was an explosion or something similar. This was highly annoying.

What about the water? "Endgame" isn't a very wet film, but I experienced it in one of the opening scenes. When Hawkeye killed the Japanese Yakuza boss I felt his blood splashing on my face. That was a nice touch. In a later scene, when it was raining, I felt a few drops of rain on my face. That wasn't enough. I should have walked out of the cinema with my t-shirt dripping wet.

My overall impression is that 4DX is a nice gimmick, but it's not something I like enough to want to do it often. 4DX costs £4.70 more than the normal ticket, and for that price it's really not worth it.