Dark Water (5 Stars)

When I watched this film in 2016 I complained about the poor quality of the DVD. That's not something I can put up with if it's one of my favourite films. I recently bought the Blu-ray, and I could finally watch the film as it's meant to be seen. Many of the outside scenes are hazy because it rains throughout the film. That's different. Rain is supposed to be hazy, but I expect the indoor scenes to be crystal clear. "Dark Water" was made in 2002, which isn't so long ago that we can expect films to look poor on disc. For me the watershed is 1996, the year in which DVDs were first sold. I might grudgingly accept poor quality from older films, but I expect all films made since 1996 to look good on DVD.

"Dark Water" is the scariest film I've ever seen. However often I watch it it still makes me jump. There's no gore, it's all about suspense. This is a film that should be shown in film schools as an example of how to make a good horror film.

Have you ever noticed how rarely it rains in films? In everyday life it rains often, in some countries more than others. In films it never rains unless it's important to the plot. If there's a scene where the weather doesn't matter it doesn't rain. That has practical reasons. The director and his crew don't want to be standing soaked in the rain struggling to keep the camera equipment dry. Apart from that, as already mentioned, scenes in the rain are less clear. If a scene is scheduled and it's raining on the day the scene is postponed and the director shoots the indoor scenes first.

That's not the case with "Dark Water". The rain is essential to the plot. It pours and pours. This adds to the film's depressing atmosphere. The film's epilogue, the final scene that takes place ten years later, is in stark contrast to the rest of the film. It's a bright day and the sun is shining when Ikuko gets off the bus, nothing like the rainy days of her early childhood.

I've watched this film many times in the last 15 years, but today is the first time that I noticed similarities to "The Shining". It can't possibly be a coincidence, it's a deliberate homage. It's always good when a director makes respectful references to his favourite films. Just look at Quentin Tarantino's films. It can be argued that he's never had an original idea. His films are all patchworks of classic films from the past, and they're brilliant.

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Brassed Off (5 Stars)

Like "Tamara Drewe", "Brassed Off" is a film about a woman who returns to her home town after a long absence. As in "Tamara Drewe" the woman's looks have improved greatly while she was away. In both films the woman drives the men crazy when she returns. That seems to be a popular theme in British films.

Tara Fitzgerald plays Gloria Mullins, a woman who left the north England industrial town Grimley to go to university. After that she took a job at British Coal as an administrative worker. In 1994, after an absence of 10 years, she's sent to Grimley to write a report on the profitability of the Grimley Coal Mine. The Tory government has already decided to close the mine, so her report will never be read. It's just something that has to be done so that British Coal can't be accused of being unfair.

Even though the government has made the decision, the miners are given a chance to vote on it. If they vote to close the mine they'll be paid £23,000 severance pay. If they vote to keep the mine open the executives will decide, and if they decide to close the mine the miners will only receive £15,000 severance pay.

When I was younger I couldn't care less about coal mines. To me they were big dirty pits whose workers die young. Now that I'm older I have a sentimental attachment to them. Both of my grandfathers were miners. My father's father was a miner all his life. My mother's father was a miner in his early years, but he changed careers after the Second World War. First he owned a betting shop. After that he trained to be a nurse, and he worked in a mental hospital for the rest of his life. I regret that I don't know more about his life. I visited my grandparents a lot when I was a child, and he was a nurse all the time I knew him. I should have asked him more questions. My grandfather died when I was 16, my grandmother died when I was 22. Years later I asked my mother about them, and all that she said was, "Your grandfather was a very good man, but your grandmother was a wicked woman". That was it.

"Brassed Off" is a more complex film than "Tamara Drewe". There are different plots intertwined. It's a love story. It's a political story. It's a social drama. It's a film about music. All four factors are of equal importance, which is what makes the film so powerful. The film's title refers to the Grimley Colliery Brass Band. It's an all-male brass band made up of miners that has been in existence since 1881. In exceptional circumstances women and non-miners are allowed to be members, but only if they were born in Grimley. Gloria Mullins is such an exception. She's the granddaughter of Arthur Mullins, the best trumpet player who was ever in the band. As the only woman in the band she's the centre of attention.

All everyone talks about in Grimley is the closing of the coal mine. It's a poor town, and the mine is the only large employer. Nobody wants the mine to close, but they're afraid it will close anyway and are too afraid to vote against the closure. The only exception is the band's conductor, Danny Ormondroyd. For him music is all that matters. He says that even if the mine closes the band will continue to bring joy to the people of Grimley. His opinion isn't shared by the people who have difficulty putting food on the table.

I consider this to be the best film of Pete Postlethwaite's career. His naive enthusiasm for music is moving.

The film has so many other strengths. Apart from the perfect acting the scenery underlines the story. It's all about England, the working class England that I grew up in. I grew up in Walsall, not south Yorkshire where the fictional town of Grimley is located, but it's a similar town with similar streets. (The film was shot in Barnsley). Maybe the town is too English, which could be alienating to foreign viewers. I love it! I'm amazed that it was a box office failure. How could anyone not like this film?

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Lips of Blood (4½ Stars)

When Frederic was 12 he went on holiday with his mother. One day he got lost and wandered into a ruined castle. He saw a beautiful woman standing behind the bars in a bare stone prison. She asked him to open the door. When he went in she asked if she could do anything in return. Frederic asked if she could help him find his mother. She said Yes, but advised him to stay in the prison for the night. When he fell asleep she left. She returned early in the morning and woke him, telling him his mother was nearby. Frederic asked the woman for a kiss. It was only a kiss on the cheek, but he fell in love with the strange woman. He was afraid of losing her, so on the way out he locked the door again. The woman asked Frederic to let her out, and he promised to return in the evening to see her again.

But he didn't return. That day Frederic's mother took him home. He told her about the woman, but his mother told him it was just a dream. She never told him where the castle was. It was just some random ruined castle that they passed on their journey.

20 years go by, but Frederic doesn't forget the woman and the soft kiss on the cheek. He still dreams about her. He speaks to her in his dreams, but she never answers. Wherever he goes he still thinks about her.

While at a party he sees a photo on the wall and recognises it as the ruined castle from his youth. The photographer is at the party, so he asks her where it is. She tells him that she's been paid a large sum to keep the location secret, but she'll tell him later if they can meet where nobody is listening. (Couldn't they just have gone outside and pretended to be making out?) Frederic soon finds he's caught up in a conspiracy. When he goes to meet the photographer he finds her dead. A man tries to kill Frederic. When Frederic asks his mother for advice she has him committed to a mental asylum, where he's told he needs electric shock treatment.

He's saved at the last minute by two vampires posing as nurses. Nobody but Jean Rollin makes films like that.

Many people consider this to be Jean Rollin's best film. It's beautiful, poignant and poetic. It's touching to see an undying romance that begins in childhood and continues into adulthood. Providing Frederic finds the woman again, but I think my readers can guess the answer.

Young Frederic was played by Jean Rollin's son Serge, who was only eight at the time. There's a cute story told by Natalie Perry, the actress who played Frederic's mother. There were problems with the film because the production crew didn't get on with Jean Rollin. They were doubtlessly skilled in their work, but they didn't like the film and they showed it. Natalie felt depressed because of this. During the filming she shared a hotel room with Serge. One night when they went to bed she heard Serge repeating his lines from the film in his sleep. That made her so happy that she could continue with the film.

This is the film's most iconic image: the coffin being washed out to sea. It's yet another example of Jean Rollin's creative imagery. I shan't tell you how it fits into the story. Watch the film for yourself.

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The Little Witch (5 Stars)

This is one of the most beautiful children's films ever made. Karoline Herfurth plays a witch who lives in a house in a secluded forest with her companion the raven Abraxas. The witch isn't named, neither in the film nor in the book on which it's based, so I'll call her Karoline. That's a good name for a witch, isn't it?

The biggest night in the year is Walpurgis Night, April 30th. All the witches meet on the mountain Blocksberg to dance. Karoline wants to go, but she's never invited because she's too young. She's only 127 years old. Being a rebellious little witch she decides to gatecrash the party. Her fun doesn't last long. After only a few minutes of waving her arms in the air and stomping her feet she's spotted by her Aunt Rumpumpel, who drags her before the Queen of the Witches. Karoline insists that she deserves to visit the yearly dance, so the Queen gives her a chance. She has 12 months to learn all 7922 spells in the Witches Spellbook (TM), and she must also prove that she's a good witch.

That's more than 20 spells a day, but she gets to work straight away, practising and memorising the spells with the help of Abraxas. She also does good deeds, helping poor families gather wood, feeding hungry children and punishing bullies. Feeling confident of being accepted, she returns to be tested the day before Walpurgis Night the next year. She impresses the Queen with her mastery of witchcraft, but she finds out that she misunderstood what a good witch is. A good witch is a witch who does bad deeds, and a bad witch is a witch who does good deeds. Rumpumpel wants Karoline to be cast out, but the Queen gives her one last chance. If she turns her favourite children into stone all her good deeds will be forgotten and she can take part in the dance.

Today a special premiere was shown in 188 cinemas across Germany. Visitors were asked to come to see the film dressed as witches in an attempt to set a new record for the most witches at a film premiere. I never knew that it was a category in the Guinness Book of records. At my cinema there were 77 witches present. Overall there were 6434 witches. These are typical scenes in the cinemas.

Karoline didn't have a spell to create 187 clones of herself, so she couldn't be present at all 188 cinemas. She was at a cinema in Potsdam, where this photo was taken. I'm jealous. She should have come to Stuttgart instead. Doesn't she know that I'm her number one fan?

How could Karoline possibly be 127 years old? She doesn't look a day over 99.

The voice of the raven Abraxas is supplied by Axel Prahl, one of Germany's best actors. This is the second film he's made with Karoline Herfurth. In 2009 he appeared with her in "Berlin 36", the story of Gretel Bergman's participation in the 1936 Olympic games.

"The Little Witch" is an amazing film. I sincerely hope it will be made available in English. The children in the audience loved it. They were laughing throughout the film. As for the parents, I only spoke to the woman who was sitting next to me with her young daughter. She told me that she hadn't been to the cinema for years. A few minutes after the film started she fell asleep. Not the daughter. She was spellbound throughout the film.

Fascination (4 Stars)

"Beware, death sometimes takes the form of seduction".

If you read articles about Jean Rollin you'll find disagreements about how many vampire films he made during his career. The reason is simple. He rarely used the word "vampire" in his films. Most of his films feature beautiful women who drink blood, but sometimes they don't have the typical characteristics that would classify them as vampires. For instance, almost none of the vampires in his films sleep in the daytime.

"Fascination" is a typical example of a film in which it's difficult to say whether the women are vampires or not. There's a cult of seven noble women who are supposedly suffering from anaemia. They need to drink blood every day to remain healthy. Usually they drink ox blood. One day each year they meet in a castle for a special ceremony. They capture a man, kill him and drink his blood at midnight.

So are they vampires or not? I say Yes, but I shan't argue with anyone who disagrees. The women are all young, which suggests immortality, although it's not expressly stated. They're stronger than usual women, but they don't have the super-human strength usually associated with vampires. They can be badly injured by gunshots. Even though they usually drink ox blood, they're driven crazy by the smell of human blood and can't resist it. They even turn on one of their own women who's been shot, so does she class as "human"? I'll leave the question open.

The leading male protagonist in this film is a thief called Mark. He's a stereotypical alpha male. I see a lot of my younger self in him. He's good looking and self-confident, and he considers himself irresistible to women. He doesn't take threats from women seriously, because (1) he's much stronger than them, and (2) even if they were stronger they would never hurt him because they desire him.

Mark is the leader of a gang that's stolen some gold coins. He says he'll travel to London to sell the coins and bring the money back to share with the others, but they don't trust him. They want their share immediately. Mark runs away with the gold and hides in a large castle inhabited by only two women, Eva and Elisabeth, who claim to be servants. They sum him up immediately. Rather than be terrified when he points a gun at him they say, "What are you going to do now you've caught us and we're helpless? Are you going to rape us?" Mark is too stupid to realise that they're mocking him. That's what alpha males are like. Too much testosterone and not enough brain.

When the gang members arrive at the castle the women promise to protect him. He thinks it's because they've fallen in love with him, but it's because they want to keep him safe for the upcoming ritual. The women go outside and kill all four gang members within minutes. That's the moment any man with a functioning brain would realise that there's more to the women than he thought. Not Mark. He still thinks he's in control, even when the other five women arrive. He's the centre of attention, and the women all flirt with him. Symbolically, they play a game of blind man's bluff. Mark is blindfolded, and he has to recognise the women by feeling their breasts. In truth, he was blind ever since he entered the castle. The only thing he was aware of was the female bodies. He's on a one-way trip to destruction, but he doesn't even realise it.

This is a stunningly beautiful film, considered by many to be Jean Rollin's best film. The plot is enthralling and draws the viewer in as it slowly unfolds. Like his other vampire films, "Fascination" has a surreal voyeuristic allure.

By the end of this year all of Jean Rollin's films will be available on Blu-ray. They were badly preserved, so a full remastering is necessary, but it's only been a medium quality restoration. Most of the film shows crystal clear pictures, but there are still spots and speckles that only a much more expensive remastering would remove. Nevertheless, I recommend the Blu-ray edition. The Blu-ray discs on the Redemption label are all region free, so ignore the false information on the Amazon websites.

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Tamara Drewe (4 Stars)

The last time I watched this film I said it was a love story. After seeing it a second time I'm not so sure. Yes, the film does contain a romance, but there's so much more to it. It's a drama about life in a small village, and how the country people clash with intruders from the city. People from the city are fascinated by the beauty of the countryside, whereas the people from the village are bored and want to move away.

The story takes place in Ewedon in Dorset. Nicholas Hardiment is the successful author of a series of murder mysteries. He's a disciplined writer who can produce ten pages a day, so he has no trouble writing a new book every year. His wife Beth has opened their home as a writer's retreat. Other authors can rent rooms for weeks or for months to find calm to write their books, far away from the hustle and bustle of city life. They also look up to Nicholas for advice, because none of them share his success.

Tamara Drewe (Gemma Arterton) is someone who escaped from Ewedon. She moved to London and became a journalist for the Guardian. Now she's returned after ten years to sell the house of her mother who has recently died. Her arrival in the village after all this time causes chaos. The men all want her, whether they're young or old, single or married. Can you blame them? Gemma Arterton combines the innocent beauty of a country girl with the self-confident sexuality of a city girl.

All that Ewedon's men can do is watch and dream. Tamara has moved on. She's not interested in the villagers. She hooks up with Ben (Dominic Cooper), the drummer in a big rock band. She divides her time between London and Ewedon while she renovates her house to prepare it for sale.

The 15-year-old schoolgirls Jody and Casey play a significant part in the film. They both have a crush on Ben and fantasise about being with him. Casey is realistic and knows that it's only dreams. A few pints of cider can help her get over her sorrows. Jody doesn't give up so easily. She's sure that if she can lure him into her bed just once he'll fall for her. She sneaks into Tamara's house, steals his drumsticks and sends anonymous emails. The S word is never used, but she's definitely a stalker.

Can Jody tear Ben away from Tamara? She has tough competition.

Dominic Cooper's brother Nathan wrote and performed a song for the film called "Jailbait Jody". Dominic didn't need to have a bad conscience when he got close to her. The actress Jessica Barden may have looked 15, but she was actually 18. That's the magic of professional makeup artists.

The film takes place over 12 months, divided into four seasons: summer, autumn, winter and spring, in that order. As much as I like the film, I can't help feeling the story would be more suited to a television series. Over the course of 12 or more episodes it could be developed into a mini soap opera. In Germany the film is called "Always drama with Tamara". Normally I don't agree with films being renamed, but in this case the German title is very appropriate.

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Why don't you play in Hell (5 Stars)

Here is a public service announcement: Projectionists should never smoke while they're working. Film is highly flammable, and the smallest spark could set the whole cinema on fire. Thank you for your attention.

In my preliminary list of my favourite 50 films I have four films directed by Sion Sono. This film isn't one of them. Maybe it should be included, but what do I kick out? My brain hurts. Today is only the second time I've watched it, so I can be excused for forgetting how good it is.

There's something that Sion Sono does in most of his films. He bases his films on real events, on true stories, but he only begins the films with the truth. The films progress in different directions, leading to exaggerated scenes of mayhem. "Why don't you play in Hell" is based on Sion Sono's own life, and he even recreates scenes from his own youth.

As a teenager Hirata had a dream. He wanted to be remembered for one great film. He didn't want to become a prolific director making a mixture of good and bad films over a long career. Hirata only wanted to make one film, and if he should die making it it didn't matter as long as the film would be remembered forever.

Childhood dreams can be beautiful, but as time passes reality can be harsh. Ten years later Hirata still hasn't made his great film. All he has to his name is a collection of short films which he watches over and over again with his friends.

Just when he's given up Hirata is approached and asked to make the film which will be his masterpiece. After years of peace the Muto Clan is planning to attack the Ikegami Clan. Hirata persuades the leaders of both clans to allow him to set up his cameras to film them as they battle to the death.

The film has all the makings of an epic. There are various different plots that all run together in the final half hour. Hirata wants to make his great film. Muto wants his daughter Mitsuko to star in a film that he can show his wife when she's released from prison. Ikegami has been obsessed with Mitsuko for years. Everything links up in one of the biggest bloodbaths ever shown in a film. But don't forget that it's all about the magic of cinema. Everyone who appears in a film is immortal and will never die, and the same is true of film creators.

Slashers (3 Stars)

There have always been game shows on television, since before I was born. I watched a few when I was young. There was "The Golden Shot", in which the contestants had to fire a crossbow at a target. In "The Generation Game" people had to answer questions. Some games had big prizes, others smaller, but for the viewers it made no difference. It was all a matter of seeing the contestants, normal people like you and me, succeed or fail.

That was in the good old days when there were only two or three television channels that were broadcast about 10 hours a day. When television broadcasts were extended to 24 hours a day and the number of channels increased to hundreds game shows grew with them, in quantity if not in quality. In England -- I can't speak for other countries -- the most popular game shows were broadcast five or more days a week. Quiz shows like "Who wants to be a millionaire", "The Weakest Link" and "Countdown" were shown at the same time every day. People built their daily schedules around the game shows. When I visited my wife's grandparents I had to accept their schedule. When their favourite game shows were on television I had to sit silently and watch with them.

Not all game shows are about answering questions. Some demand physical activity, such as manoeuvring round an obstacle course or racing against one another. Some shows even involve fights between contestants, although the violence is contained to prevent injuries. Still, people dream of an extreme game show in which contestants fight to the death to win big prizes.

That's the premise for this film. In Japan there's a weekly game show called "Slashers", spelt "$la$her$". Six contestants have to enter a maze where they're stalked by three killers. Anyone who survives until the end of the show wins a large prize. It's not stated what the normal prize is, but at the beginning of this episode of "Slashers" the jackpot is $12 million, because nobody survived in the previous episode. There's also a $2 million bonus if the contestants kill any of the show's killers.

Today it's a special episode. For the first time all the contestants are all Americans, three men and three women. The show's killers this week are a preacher with a dagger, a redneck with a chainsaw and a doctor with a large pair of shears.

The film was made with a small budget, but that doesn't spoil it. It's a cheap television set, so the film has to look cheap to do it justice. The contestants stumble from one area to another: a warehouse, a shed, a castle, a honeymoon suite. The suite, called the Love Room, is a special area. Any couple that has sex in the suite is guaranteed three minutes in which they won't be attacked. Sweet.

The rules of the show are simple: there are no rules, except that during the commercial breaks no movement is allowed. That leads to amusing situations. The killers and the contestants are sometimes facing one another when the break starts. They stand in place trash talking for two minutes. Then the break ends, and they suddenly fight or run away.

The show's killers are exaggerated caricatures of serial killers, which works well in the context of the film. The show's contestants are all boring, and they let down the film with their poor acting. The idea behind the film is good, but I don't know if it could have been any better even with better actors. It's a trashy subject matter, so the whole impression of the film has to be trashy.

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Marvel Years 02.12 - December 1962

Fantastic Four #9

Title(s): The End of the Fantastic Four
Sub-Mariner gives the Orders
The Fury of Mr. Fantastic
The Flame of Battle
Vengeance is ours

Writer: Stan Lee
Artist: Jack Kirby

Villain: Sub-Mariner

Regulars: Alicia Masters

This is a single story split into five parts that have been given individual titles.

On the cover the Thing asks, "Heroes one minute, bums the next. How did it happen to us?" No, it's nothing to do with Sub-Mariner who's standing at the side gloating. It was because of Reed Richards' stupidity.

Note that in the splash page Sub-Mariner has a photo of Susan Storm on his table.

I thought Reed Richards is supposed to be one of the most brilliant people on Earth. I'm no financial expert, but even I know that you shouldn't invest all your money in shares.

The stress is really getting to Reed. He says he can get money by selling the building. He's forgotten that he doesn't own the building, he's only renting the top five floors. Poor guy.

Luckily the Fantastic Four are offered film roles by a new film company, SM Studios. Does that sound kinky to you? Will it be a film showing Susan Storm whipping her three teammates? I'd pay money to go and see a film like that.

I'm sorry to say that SM doesn't stand for sado-masochism, it's the abbreviation of Sub-Mariner's name. He's bought the film studio as a means to bring the Fantastic Four under his control and marry Susan Storm.

When the Sub-Mariner (falsely) thinks the male members of the Fantastic Four have been eliminated he proposes to Susan Storm again, as he first did in issue #4. She turns him down, but listen to her exact words. She suggests that she might have accepted his proposal if he had proposed to her without first attacking her teammates.

When her teammates return she defends Sub-Mariner from their joint attack. She tells them, "It's three against one. You've never ganged up on anyone before". It seems like the sight of Sub-Mariner standing in his tight swimming trunks has flustered her and made her lose her memory. The Fantastic Four have ganged up on their enemies in almost every comic so far, whether it was Doctor Doom, the Puppet Master or Sub-Mariner himself.

This picture illustrates an unfortunate problem in prude 1960's America. Male nipples were considered indecent, so Sub-Mariner was always drawn without nipples. I don't think this changed until the 1970's.

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Tales to Astonish #38

Title: Betrayed by the Ants

Writer: Stan Lee, Larry Lieber
Artist: Jack Kirby

Villain: Egghead

The issue also contains two short anthology stories.

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Journey into Mystery #87

Title: Prisoner of the Reds

Writer: Stan Lee, Larry Lieber
Artist: Jack Kirby

Regulars: Jane Foster

Villain: Communists

I've noticed that foreign countries aren't named in Marvel comics. The enemies in this issue are "The Reds". It's obvious from the artwork that it takes place in Russia, but the country isn't named explicitly in the text. My guess is that Stan Lee wanted to tell his readers that Communism is always the enemy, whether it's abroad or in America.

This is a new power attributed to Thor. I don't remember it ever being shown again. By rubbing his hands against the head of his hammer he can create blinding sparks.

The issue also contains two short anthology stories.

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Strange Tales #103

Title(s): Prisoner of the 5th Dimension
Trapped in Another World
The End of Zemu

Writer: Stan Lee, Larry Lieber
Artist: Jack Kirby

Regulars: Reed Richards

Villain: Zemu

This is a single story split into two parts that have been given individual titles. The issue also contains three short anthology stories.

The Human Torch is shown to have two new powers in this issue.

1. He can create a smoke screen (page 10)

2. He can create a tornado by flying in a circle.