Poor Things (2 Stars)

This is a film that's been nominated for many awards, including eleven awards for the upcoming Baftas. So it has to be good. Right? Wrong. To sum it up, the film starts badly, it gets worse in the middle, and towards the end it becomes only slightly better.

The film begins with a Frankenstein-ish character in Victorian London. A disfigured surgeon, also a university lecturer, has discovered how to bring people back to life. He witnesses a pregnant woman committing suicide by jumping off a bridge. He retrieves her body and revives her, but because of her head trauma he removes her brain and replaces it with the brain of her unborn baby. The result is a fully grown woman with childlike intelligence and naivety.

So far it sounds good, but I can't explain the film's problems without giving spoilers. So if you don't want spoilers, stop reading now.

Are you still with me? You were warned.

As the woman, named Bella by the surgeon, grows older she becomes more intelligent, but she remains naive. I forgot to mention that the surgeon's name is Godwin Baxter, but he lets everyone call him God. One of God's students falls in love with the childlike woman and proposes to marry her. She agrees, but a short time later she decides to have an affair with God's lawyer, a last fling before her marriage. They go to Lisbon, where they spend their days having wild sex.

On the way home Bella sees poor children and is so moved that she gives all of their money to them. Bella is broke when she arrives in Paris, so she becomes a prostitute. She does this for a while –  Months? Years? – but eventually returns to London to marry the student.

I'll stop there. I've already given more spoilers than I usually do.

As far as the film's message goes, it's a mess. It shows a woman trying to stand on her own two feet, resisting the men who try to keep her prisoner. That's admirable, but can a woman really find freedom by becoming a prostitute? Her naivety, which she retains throughout the film, is her greatest weakness. She's not a feminist role model, far from it. There are other random things I need to criticise:

Why is the surgeon disfigured? It adds nothing to the plot.

And why does he call himself God? That's rather plump.

There are alternating sequences in colour and black and white. I couldn't detect a logical reason for the differences.

Bella sees blimps flying overhead in Lisbon. I thought it was an anachronism, but after googling I found that the first blimps were invented in 1852. It still looks strange.

The film is just a random mess. Some reviews call "Poor Things" a comedy, I don't see anything funny about it. It's just ridiculous. How could anyone like it, let alone nominate it for awards?