Monday 9 October 2023

Paranormal Sexperiments (4 Stars)


In past years I've made October a horror month, watching a horror film every day up until Halloween itself. That's a good custom, but anyone as erratic as me can't keep to it. I don't have the discipline. All I can say is that I'll try to watch more horror films than usual this month. Two days I received "Glamour Ghouls", a Blu-ray double feature combining "Paranormal Sexperiments" and "College Coeds vs Zombie Housewives". Two not-so-serious horror films for the month of October.


Cindy is a college student who's struggling to pay her rent. One evening there's a knock on the door. A man tells her that she's inherited the mansion and the wealth of Lady Dracovich, someone she didn't even know. She had no relatives, and her Will specified that she would leave everything to the first person who clicked Like on her Myspace profile. Do people still use Myspace?


Cindy might not know Lady Dracovich, but her fortune teller, Madame Zola, knows all about her. When Cindy wants to pay Zola for a session, she refuses to accept the money, because she says that everything that comes from Lady Dracovich is cursed. Cindy's tutor, Professor Gordon, also knows her. He says that she has an ancient spell book that's worth a fortune, more than the mansion itself.


Cindy doesn't heed the warnings. She moves into the mansion with her roommate Sara.


In the kitchen she finds a housewarming cake with the inscription "Redrum". Hasn't she ever watched "The Shining"?


The ghost of Lady Dracovich arrives with a big knife.


There's no need to worry. She just wants to cut the cake.

Now the action starts. It's revealed that the valuable spell book can bring Lady Dracovich back to life. A male sacrifice is needed. But there are only women in the house. Not quite. Professor Gordon visits the house with his assistant Kathy to steal the book. He doesn't get very far. Lady Dracovich casts a spell to make the women in the house horny. They tie the Professor to the bed to have sex with him. Three women and one man? That's how I'd like to die. Madame Zola senses what's happening, so she rushes to the house, but she's caught up in the spell and joins the sexual activity.


Will the professor survive? Will Lady Dracovich walk the Earth again?

If you want to know the answers, buy the film yourself. It's not available from Amazon, but you can order it from Makeflix.

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