St. Trinian's 2: The Legend of Fritton's Gold (4 Stars)

"Girls are far more intelligent than boys".

That must be true. It's in the newspapers.

I had to get that out of the way before I start the review.

This is a sequel to "St. Trinian's", made two years earlier in 2007. Since the first film things have moved on. The new girl, Annabelle Fritton, has become the head girl. The previous head girl, Kelly Jones, has joined MI7, a British spy organisation so secret that not even MI6 knows it exists.

Unfortunately Kelly Jones only appears in a short portion of the film, when Annabelle asks for her help. That's a shame, but I admit that I'm biased. I can never get enough of Gemma Arterton.

The film's biggest fault is that it's even less saucy than the first film. It presents the pure chaos of wild schoolgirls, but there are only the slightest hints of sexuality. Where's Frankie Howerd when we need him? The film's greatest strength is David Tennant. I don't think I've ever seen him in any role where his presence doesn't elevate the quality of an otherwise mediocre film.

This is what Liverpool Station in London looked like before the Coronavirus lockdown. Those were the good old days. I'd be dancing in the middle of them. How many of you can spot Jodie Whittaker in the picture? It's easy if you've seen the film, but almost impossible if you haven't.

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St. Trinian's (4 Stars)

The last time I watched this film I only gave it three stars. That was unfair. It's a better film than that. I think I penalised the film because it wasn't what I expected. The original St. Trinian's films, especially the ones made in the 1960's, were saucy, with a lot of sexual innuendo. The 2007 St. Trinian's girls are bad girls, but not in a sexual way, apart from occasional short skirts,. There's only one hint of sexuality in an early scene, when a half naked boy runs out of the school after a party.

In a manner reminiscent of American high school movies, the girls are divided into their tribes: the Chavs, the Emos, the Geeks and the Posh Totties. There aren't any real Mean Girls in the school, even if the Posh Totties look like them. The girls in the school aren't mean to one another, they stand united against the rest of the world. Well, they're mean to the New Girl, Annabelle Fritton, but it's just a test to see if she's worthy of joining the school. After surviving two days of humiliation she's accepted as one of the girls.

Maybe another reason for my low rating last time is the casting of a man, Rupert Everett, as the school's headmistress. I don't like to see men dressing up as women, even less than women dressing up as men, but I can understand the reason. In the original films a man was also cast as the headmistress. I'll try to close my eyes to it.

And one last criticism which I even mentioned in my last review is that Gemma Arteron isn't given a chance to look sexy. She wears a long skirt and looks almost (but not quite) goth. That's a disappointment that I have to get over. This was her first film, and at 21 it was her last chance to appear as a schoolgirl.

The film's glamour is provided by the Posh Totties, Chloe, Chelsea and Peaches. Do they really call girls Peaches? They're not such bad girls. They like to pray.

And they pray more than once in the film.

But I have to admit, if I were their teacher I'd be looking up their skirts in every lesson. I'd try to resist the temptation, but it would be much too hard.

Is it just me, or do the girls look even hotter with glasses?

Take another look. Tell me what you think.

Yes, that's Jodie Whittaker flirting with Stephen Fry. She won't get very far. Doesn't she know he's gay? She needs to try again after she's regenerated as a man.

I'll probably rewatch the sequel to this film in the next few days. Probably. I'm not going to promise, because I break my promises too often. I also want to rewatch the original five St. Trinian's films. It must be at least 40 years since I last saw them. It's time for some 1950's and 1960's nostalgia.

Success Rate:  + 2.2

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Attack the Block (5 Stars)

The arguments have died down among Doctor Who fans over the choice of Jodie Whittaker as the new Doctor. I don't think that anyone who was violently opposed to a woman being chosen for the role has changed his mind. I think people have just shouted off their initial rage. They've said all they wanted to say, and now they're sitting back to wait for the Christmas special. Even those who have angrily sworn that they'll never watch Doctor Who again will sheepishly turn on their televisions on December 25th to watch her and hope she'll fall on her face. That's the day when many of the nay-sayers will be won over.

My opinion on the matter is neutral. It depends on the way the scripts handle the change. I don't mind a female Doctor, as long as it isn't treated as a gimmick. If every second episode has her saying "I'm a woman now, so I'll <fill-in-the-blank>" I'll groan with disgust. Whatever objections are being made this side of the screen I want the Doctor's new female persona to be taken for granted within the series, as if everyone has been expecting the change for the last thousand years. The Master's new gender was dealt with perfectly. In her last few episodes we saw that Missy had decidedly female traits, but they just bubbled to the surface naturally rather than being thrust on the viewing public. That was great script-writing and excellent acting by Michelle Gomez. Is she really gone now? I hope not. She may be dead, but we shouldn't forget she was a time traveller, so her past self can still clash with the new Doctor in the future.

My only complaint about the change in Doctors is that Peter Capaldi was so good. He should have stayed longer. His first year as Doctor was weak -- all the new actors need a year to adapt to the role -- but in the following two years his performance was so strong that I consider him the best Doctor since the series relaunch in 2005. Now he's gone. That will make things difficult for Jodie Whittaker. She has big shoes to step into.

On the other hand, the series needs continuity. If Jodie is good in her role she needs to remain for as long as possible. There's been too much swapping and changing. Four Doctors in 12 years is too many. We need an actor or actress who will remain for at least ten years. When new television drama series begin in America the leading actors are required to sign a contract binding them for seven years if needed. Admittedly, not many series last that long, but there are exceptions. Imagine how long-running series would have been wrecked by an actor quitting. What if Tom Welling had walked out of "Smallville" after three years? Imagine "Supernatural" having to carry on without Jensen Ackles.

I don't know Jodie Whittaker very well. She's been in a few popular films and television series, but I've only seen her in three films: the two St. Trinian's films (small roles) and "Attack the Block". Even though she's the main female character in "Attack the Block" it's difficult to judge her. There's nothing at all wrong with her performance, but she's at a disadvantage, because she's upstaged by the kids. For most of the teenage cast it was their first film, and they're all incredibly good. Of particular note is John Boyega. He was only 17 when he was picked for the lead role in "Attack the Block", his first film, but he's gained great popularity in his subsequent films, such as "Star Wars 7". It looks like he could become England's best actor. He would also be a good choice to play the Doctor, but let Jodie do her ten years first.

"Attack the Block" was a box office failure, but I blame the distributors. Apart from the UK it was barely shown in cinemas anywhere else. It only had a limited release in the USA, but it was highly successful wherever it was shown. The distributors were too stupid to realise that they had a big hit in their hands. The critics loved it, and after a mere five years it's already considered to be a cult sci-fi classic. It's one of those films that you absolutely must see if you want to be taken seriously as a sci-fi fan.

Maybe it's the film's dubious morals that made the distributors afraid to screen the film worldwide. Were they afraid of backlash from the public? The young people in the film do bad things, but the film doesn't criticise them, and at the end they're the heroes.

Moses (John Boyega) is the 15-year-old leader of a street gang in South London. On Bonfire Night (November 5th) they rob a young nurse, Samantha Adams (Jodie Whittaker), on her way home from work. They steal her money and her phone at knife point. She's scared that it might go further, murder or rape, but they're interrupted by something falling out of the sky and she runs back home. It's an alien invasion. All over South London vicious black monsters are falling out of the sky. After Moses manages to kill one of them the others pursue him.

Moses returns home. He and his gang all live in the 19-floor high Wyndham Tower. They unite with their girlfriends and sisters. They meet Samantha again, because she also lives in the tower. Moses apologises, saying he would never have robbed her if he'd known she was his neighbour. The tower block is now being besieged by the monsters, so Samantha unites with the gang. As a nurse she treats the wounded gang members. They have guns and knives, so she accepts that they are her best chance of survival.

It's a brilliant genre-spanning film. Science fiction, horror and comedy all in one. It's a perfect balance. When you start to think it's just a comedy, someone dies a horrible death. When you start to think it's just a horror film, something hilarious happens. Why can't more films be this good?

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St. Trinian's 2: The Legend of Fritton's Gold (4 Stars)

This is the second film in the rebooted St. Trinian's franchise. It takes place one year after the previous film and begins on the first day of the school year as the girl's arrive at the school. Kelly Jones, the head girl in the previous film, played by Gemma Arterton, has now left the school and joined MI7. It's a British Secret Intelligence agency that specialises in carrying out illegal operations that are in the national interest. The end justifies the means. The organisation is so secret that not even MI6 knows it exists. Kelly returns briefly to help her old school friends.

So who's the new head girl? None other than Annabelle Fritton, who joined the school in the last film. It helps being related to the headmistress.

David Tennant is the dastardly evil bad guy in this film. He does it so well. He plays Sir Piers Pomfrey, the leader of AD1, a secret organisation that is dedicated to resist feminism and keep women subjugated. "Women are for making cakes and babies", as Sir Pomfrey eloquently describes his agenda. The organisation was founded in 1559 as a reaction to Elisabeth becoming the Queen of England, and it has existed ever since. Now his path crosses with St. Trinian's, because he wants to find the gold hidden by Miss Fritton's ancestor, a notorious pirate.

David Tennant wears a purple robe for his role. That's very appropriate.

If a pompous, evil, sexist man wants to suppress womankind, there's only one solution. A gang of schoolgirls have to cut him down to size, and which schoolgirls can fight better than the bad girls of St. Trinian's?

Despite being less of a success with the public, I find this film much better than the last film. Battle of the Sexes films are always enjoyable, because we know from the beginning who will win. What I also like about this film is that it concentrates on the older schoolgirls, the sixth form girls. There are only brief scenes with the younger girls.

And guess who plays the school's oddball receptionist!

Because of its failure at the box office it's unlikely that another sequel will be made. That's a shame. It was fun while it lasted. Maybe there will be another reboot one day, with even sexier schoolgirls.

I'n curious why it was never released in America. Were there too many complaints about sexualising underage schoolgirls in the first film? If you check the bios of the cast you'll see that the fifth and sixth form girls, supposedly aged 15 to 18, were played by actresses in their twenties. The members of the pop group Girls Aloud appear in both films. They look a lot better than they sing.

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St. Trinian's (3 Stars)

It's been almost 10 years since I first watched this film. I didn't know what to make of it then, and I don't know what to make of it now.

Four films were made about St. Trinian's Girls School from 1954 to 1966. After a long pause a fifth film was made in 1980. The first five films followed a logical continuity. Now, in 2007, the St. Trinian's franchise has been rebooted. The spirit of the early films has been revived. It's all about naughty girls. The older girls (16 to 18) are sexually provocative, the younger girls (11 to 13) are mischievous, and there's a grey zone in between.

The school is shown through the eyes of Annabelle Fritton, a new girl who arrives in the school at the start of the term. She's the niece of the school's headmistress, but that doesn't give her any advantages. She's shocked by the chaos and lack of discipline in the school, but as she settles in she gives up and becomes like the other girls.

The main plot of the film is that the school is facing bankruptcy. St. Trinian's is £500,000 in debt. Not even the money from the sale of the illegal vodka that the girls make in the cellar is enough to save the school. There's only one solution. They decide to steal a painting from the National Gallery in London and sell it to an art dealer. Bad girls!

I would have expected Kelly Jones, the head girl, to be the sexiest girl in school, since she's played by Gemma Arterton. Somehow she looks too plain, too goth and too pale. She doesn't even wear a short skirt.

This is the most we get to see of her. No, it isn't a short skirt, it's just the way she's sitting.

What sort of girls school lets a man pose naked for the art class? I couldn't do it. I'd be too afraid that I might have an embarrassing "problem".

Here are a few girls, from the youngest to the oldest. Do you see what I mean about Gemma Arterton's skirt being too long?

So why don't I like the film? For me it's too much of a contrast. I like the idea of sexy schoolgirls, but the presence of too many very young girls is a turn off. If it were just about older schoolgirls it would be an erotic fantasy, if it were just about younger schoolgirls I could treat it as a comedy, but mixing the two side by side in the same scenes is disturbing.

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Attack the Block (4½ Stars)

An excellent British film that I already reviewed here. Some films are so good that they're worth rewatching. Great acting by young unknown actors. You can buy it in England for £5 or in America for $20. No comment.

Click here to view the trailer.

Attack the Block (5 Stars)

An excellent, though morally doubtful film. A teenage gang in South London assault a nurse walking home at night. They steal her money and her mobile phone. While leaving her behind they witness an alien invasion, hundreds of hairy man eating monsters falling from the sky. After asking their drug dealer for advice they decide they are the only ones who can save the Earth from the threat. But how can they save the world while having to run from the police?

The film is advertised as a comedy, but it isn't really a film to laugh at. It's more of a satire, and at its core very thought-provoking. It shows how extreme situations can turn bad guys into heroes. The young cast, none of whom I remember seeing before, act brilliantly. The only big name actor in the film is Nick Frost, who plays a relatively minor role. When I started to write this review I gave the film 4¾ stars, but no, it deserves 5. I can't find fault with it. Watch it and enjoy it!