Wednesday, 26 July 2017

St. Trinian's (3 Stars)

It's been almost 10 years since I first watched this film. I didn't know what to make of it then, and I don't know what to make of it now.

Four films were made about St. Trinian's Girls School from 1954 to 1966. After a long pause a fifth film was made in 1980. The first five films followed a logical continuity. Now, in 2007, the St. Trinian's franchise has been rebooted. The spirit of the early films has been revived. It's all about naughty girls. The older girls (16 to 18) are sexually provocative, the younger girls (11 to 13) are mischievous, and there's a grey zone in between.

The school is shown through the eyes of Annabelle Fritton, a new girl who arrives in the school at the start of the term. She's the niece of the school's headmistress, but that doesn't give her any advantages. She's shocked by the chaos and lack of discipline in the school, but as she settles in she gives up and becomes like the other girls.

The main plot of the film is that the school is facing bankruptcy. St. Trinian's is £500,000 in debt. Not even the money from the sale of the illegal vodka that the girls make in the cellar is enough to save the school. There's only one solution. They decide to steal a painting from the National Gallery in London and sell it to an art dealer. Bad girls!

I would have expected Kelly Jones, the head girl, to be the sexiest girl in school, since she's played by Gemma Arterton. Somehow she looks too plain, too goth and too pale. She doesn't even wear a short skirt.

This is the most we get to see of her. No, it isn't a short skirt, it's just the way she's sitting.

What sort of girls school lets a man pose naked for the art class? I couldn't do it. I'd be too afraid that I might have an embarrassing "problem".

Here are a few girls, from the youngest to the oldest. Do you see what I mean about Gemma Arterton's skirt being too long?

So why don't I like the film? For me it's too much of a contrast. I like the idea of sexy schoolgirls, but the presence of too many very young girls is a turn off. If it were just about older schoolgirls it would be an erotic fantasy, if it were just about younger schoolgirls I could treat it as a comedy, but mixing the two side by side in the same scenes is disturbing.

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