The End of Oak Street (2 Stars)

First we had Jurassic Park.

Then we had Jurassic World.

Now we have Jurassic Suburbs.

This is one of the silliest films I've seen for a long time. A chunk of land surrounding the peaceful Oak Street is transported into the distant past, where it's surrounded by hungry dinosaurs. Unlike the carefully separated territories in the Jurassic Park films, the dinosaurs are all mixed together. There are no herbivores, only meat-eating dinosaurs.

No explanation is given how the time travel happens. Maybe they're saving it for the sequel. Please, we don't want a sequel. In its favour, there's a lot of action and suspense as people run from dinosaurs. It's just too ridiculous to take seriously. There was a woman sitting next to me who obviously felt the same way that I did. Every time a new dinosaur threat appeared we turned and looked at one another and laughed. It should have been made as a real comedy, instead of making us laugh at its silliness.

Terminator 2 (5 Stars)

"Terminator 2: Judgment Day" is one of the best films ever made because it does everything right. James Cameron takes the simple premise of the original and expands it into a spectacular action film without losing its humanity. Arnold Schwarzenegger's transformation from unstoppable killer to protector works perfectly, while the T-1000 is an extraordinary replacement as the new threat. The action and special effects are magnificent, but the film's real strength is the growing relationship between John Connor and the Terminator. Beneath all the explosions, "Terminator 2" is a surprisingly emotional film about humanity, fate and the possibility of change.

Which film is better? I can't choose. "Terminator" is a lean, frightening science-fiction slasher, while "Terminator 2" is a much larger action film with greater emotional depth. The sequel doesn't improve on the original so much as reinvent it. They're two very different films, but they're both masterpieces.

Success Rate:  + 3.5

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Miyamoto Musashi 5: The Duel at Ganryu Island (4 Stars)

"The Duel at Ganryu Island" brings the five-film series to a sombre and satisfying conclusion. Musashi has travelled a long way from the wild young man of the first film. He's become the swordsman he always wanted to be, but his victories have come at a cost. After the bloodshed of the previous film, particularly the killing of 13-year-old Matashichiro Yoshioka, Musashi is beginning to understand that defeating opponents isn't enough to give his life meaning.

The final confrontation with Sasaki Kojiro has been inevitable for several films. Kojiro has watched Musashi's progress while establishing himself as the one swordsman capable of challenging him as an equal. For that reason, the duel is surprisingly short; one sword blow and Kojiro falls dead. After such a long build-up I would have preferred a longer and more spectacular battle. Nevertheless, the brevity has a purpose. This isn't simply another opponent for Musashi to defeat. Kojiro is the culmination of Musashi's obsession with proving himself, and killing him brings little sense of triumph.

Musashi's real victory comes afterwards. He finally recognises that being undefeated isn't the same as being complete. His redemption doesn't erase the men he has killed or excuse everything he's done, but it shows that he's finally gained something more important than skill with a sword: wisdom. The five films have shown Musashi learning how to become a great swordsman. At the end of "Miyamoto Musashi 5", he finally learns how to become a man.

Miyamoto Musashi 4: The Duel at Ichijo-Ji Temple (4 Stars)

The fourth film in Tomu Uchida's Miyamoto Musashi series shows how far Musashi has developed. The wild young man of the first film has become a disciplined and calculating swordsman. He still wants to prove himself as Japan's greatest swordsman, but he now relies as much on strategy and intelligence as physical skill.

After Denshichiro Yoshioka is killed by Musashi in a duel, his 13-year-old son Matashichiro is appointed the new head of the Yoshioka school. Although he's a non-combatant, his clan places him in the middle of a battle so that he can symbolically claim victory over Musashi. Dozens of Yoshioka swordsmen are waiting to do the actual fighting. Sasaki Kojiro attends as a spectator because he increasingly regards Musashi as the only swordsman worthy of being his ultimate opponent. He wants to observe his abilities for himself.

The most disturbing moment comes when Musashi deliberately kills Matashichiro first. He's only a child, but as the new head of the Yoshioka school he's officially Musashi's opponent. Musashi understands the clan's strategy and turns it against them: by killing Matashichiro, he has technically completed the duel before taking on the other swordsmen. His reasoning is understandable, but that doesn't make his action easy to accept.

The final battle demonstrates just how formidable Musashi has become. He uses the terrain and careful planning to overcome overwhelming numbers rather than relying on brute strength. He's undoubtedly becoming a greater swordsman, but the death of Matashichiro raises a more troubling question: is he also becoming a better man?

"The Duel at Ichijo-Ji Temple" is the strongest film in the series so far. Musashi's development and Kojiro's growing interest in him point towards the confrontation that now seems inevitable.

Miyamoto Musashi 3: Birth of the Two Sword Style (3 Stars)

"Miyamoto Musashi: Birth of the Two Sword Style" is the third film in Tomu Uchida's five-film series, and it's noticeably slower than its predecessor. There's less action and more time spent examining Musashi's development. He's still obsessed with proving himself by challenging any swordsman with a great reputation, but cracks are beginning to appear in his philosophy. His encounter with a supposedly important master who proves unworthy of his reputation demonstrates the emptiness of simply defeating famous names. Musashi is becoming a better swordsman, but he still has a lot to learn about what greatness actually means.

At the same time, Sasaki Kojiro is becoming increasingly important. He's no longer merely another character crossing Musashi's path; he's emerging as his great rival. Kojiro shares Musashi's ambition and confidence in his own abilities, but he's cooler and more controlled. The film gradually brings the two men into each other's orbit without rushing towards the confrontation that we know must eventually come. "Birth of the Two Sword Style" isn't as exciting as the second film, but it feels like an important transitional chapter, preparing Musashi and Kojiro for what lies ahead.

New Order - Blue Monday

"Blue Monday", originally released in 1983, is frequently described as one of the greatest dance records ever made. That's an impressive claim, but it also raises a question. Is "Blue Monday" really a dance song?

Obviously it is. It's driven by a relentless electronic beat, it was made for clubs, and the original 12-inch version lasts more than seven minutes. But calling it a dance song somehow seems inadequate. Most dance music invites you to enjoy yourself. "Blue Monday" sounds cold, lonely and vaguely threatening. It's music for dancing in the dark.

To understand why, it's necessary to go back to Joy Division. After the suicide of singer Ian Curtis in 1980, the remaining members continued as New Order. They didn't simply abandon their past and become a synthpop group overnight. The darkness of Joy Division remained, but it was combined with synthesisers, sequencers and drum machines. "Blue Monday" is the moment when those two worlds came together perfectly.

The song begins with a programmed drum pattern that immediately establishes its mechanical pulse. Then Peter Hook's bass enters, refusing to behave like a conventional bass guitar. Instead of merely supporting the rhythm, it becomes a melodic instrument in its own right, cutting through the electronics and giving the song an unmistakably human element.

Bernard Sumner's voice is just as distinctive. He sounds detached, almost numb, beginning with the unforgettable question, "How does it feel to treat me like you do?" The lyrics suggest anger, disappointment and emotional confusion without ever explaining exactly what has happened. Even the title doesn't appear in the song.

That's the great paradox of "Blue Monday". The rhythm tells your body to move while everything else tells you that something is wrong. It's enormously danceable, but there's no sense of celebration. You can imagine a room full of people dancing while each person remains trapped inside his own thoughts.

That's what separates "Blue Monday" from so much 1980's synthpop. New Order didn't use electronic instruments to make something bright and futuristic. The machines sound cold because the emotions are cold.

Is "Blue Monday" the greatest dance song of all time? I don't know how anyone could objectively give that title to a single record. But it deserves to be part of the argument.

It's a dance record without happiness, a pop record without a conventional chorus and an electronic record that still feels unmistakably human. New Order took the darkness of Joy Division onto the dance floor.

More than four decades later, the beat still starts and people still dance.

---

How does it feel to treat me like you do?
When you've laid your hands upon me
And told me who you are?

I thought I was mistaken,
I thought I heard your words.
Tell me, how do I feel?
Tell me now, how do I feel?

Those who came before me
Lived through their vocations,
From the past until completion
They'll turn away no more.

And still, I find it so hard
To say what I need to say,
But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me
Just how I should feel today.

I see a ship in the harbour,
I can and shall obey,
But if it wasn't for your misfortune
I'd be a heavenly person today.

And I thought I was mistaken,
And I thought I heard you speak.
Tell me, how do I feel?
Tell me now, how should I feel?

Now I stand here waiting.

I thought I told you to leave me
While I walk down to the beach.
Tell me, how does it feel
When your heart grows cold?

Dragon Fist (5 Stars)

Who's that boy? It's Jackie Chan at the tender age of 23. 

"Dragon Fist" was made at a fascinating point in Jackie Chan's career. It wasn't released until 1979, but it was filmed earlier. Producer and director Lo Wei was still attempting to turn him into the next Bruce Lee. There's no comedy in "Dragon Fist", no elaborate use of furniture and household objects and very little of the playful personality that would become his trademark. Instead, Jackie plays his role completely straight. The result isn't typical Jackie Chan, but it proves that he was already an exceptional martial artist who didn't need comedy to make his fight scenes exciting.

Jackie plays Tang Hao-Yun, a young martial arts student devoted to his master, San Thye. When San Thye is challenged by a rival martial arts master, Chung Chien-kuen, the encounter ends in tragedy. San Thye is defeated and killed. Chung isn't simply presented as an evil man, however. He has his own reasons for what he does and subsequently regrets the consequences of his actions. This immediately makes "Dragon Fist" more interesting than a conventional revenge story in which a hero merely has to track down and kill the villain.

Tang Hao-Yun spends years training, determined to become strong enough to avenge his master's death. When he finally finds Chung, accompanied by his master's widow and daughter, he expects the confrontation that he's been preparing for. Instead, he discovers a man who has been living with remorse. Chung has effectively punished himself for what he did and refuses to defend himself when Tang attacks him. Tang has trained for years to defeat a dangerous enemy, but what satisfaction can there be in beating a man who won't fight back?

This creates a moral problem for Tang. His loyalty to his dead master demands revenge, but the situation is no longer as simple as he expected. The man he has hated for years isn't the monster he imagined. Even his master's widow recognises Chung's remorse. Revenge has ceased to be a straightforward question of justice.

The story becomes more complicated when Tang becomes involved with another martial arts clan. Its leader, Wei, appears to offer friendship and assistance, particularly when Wei learns that Tang's mother is seriously ill and requires medicine. Tang agrees to perform tasks for Wei in exchange for the medicine, but he's being manipulated. Wei has his own ambitions and uses Tang's loyalty, fighting ability and desperation to further them. Tang gradually finds himself working for people whose motives are considerably less honourable than they initially appeared.

This is where "Dragon Fist" moves away from the simple revenge plot promised by its opening scenes. Tang begins the film believing that he knows exactly who his enemy is. As the story progresses, the distinction between friend and enemy becomes increasingly blurred. The man Tang wants to kill may deserve forgiveness, while the people offering to help him are exploiting him. Honour, loyalty, revenge and obligation pull him in different directions.

The plot is sometimes difficult to follow. Characters change sides, motives aren't always explained clearly and the large number of martial arts masters and their followers can make it difficult to remember who belongs to which group. Nevertheless, I prefer this complexity to a simple story about good men fighting bad men. There are villains in "Dragon Fist", but the film's central conflict isn't black and white. Tang has to decide for himself what honour actually means rather than blindly following the demands of revenge.

And then there are the fights.

Anyone who only knows the Jackie Chan of "Police Story", "Project A" or the "Rush Hour" films might be surprised by what they see here. There's nothing funny about the fighting in "Dragon Fist". Jackie doesn't stumble around pretending to be helpless before suddenly defeating his opponent. He doesn't turn chairs, ladders or tables into weapons. The choreography is hard, fast and direct, belonging firmly to the traditional kung fu films of the 1970s.

Jackie is spectacular.

It's sometimes suggested that the comedy in Jackie's later films was used to disguise his limitations as a martial artist. Quite the opposite. The comedy worked because he already possessed extraordinary physical ability. "Dragon Fist" gives him an opportunity to demonstrate this without any distractions. His movements are precise, his kicks are powerful and the lengthy exchanges allow him to display both speed and control. Even at 23 he looks completely convincing as a serious fighter.

The film is also interesting historically because it captures Jackie at the moment when two possible careers were competing with one another. Lo Wei wanted him to inherit Bruce Lee's mantle as a stern martial arts hero. At approximately the same time, films such as "Snake in the Eagle's Shadow" and "Drunken Master" were demonstrating that Jackie could become something entirely different. Those films allowed his humour and personality to emerge, eventually creating the Jackie Chan that the world knows today.

In retrospect, Lo Wei was taking Jackie in the wrong direction. There could never be another Bruce Lee, and Jackie became a much bigger star once he stopped trying to be one. But that doesn't mean the serious Jackie Chan was a failure. "Dragon Fist" proves the opposite. If Jackie had continued making straight martial arts dramas, he could have had a successful career doing that as well. We would simply have been deprived of everything that later made him unique.

"Dragon Fist" isn't one of Jackie's most famous films, and its complicated plot occasionally works against it, but I enjoyed it considerably more than I expected. The moral ambiguity gives the story more substance than the usual revenge tale, while the fight scenes show a side of Jackie Chan that disappeared as his comic persona developed.

Jackie Chan didn't become the next Bruce Lee. "Dragon Fist" demonstrates that he probably could have spent his career trying. Fortunately, he chose to become the first Jackie Chan.

A Minecraft Movie (3 Stars)

I tried to like "A Minecraft Movie". I really did. The trailer made it look like the sort of gloriously silly film that I'd enjoy, especially with Jason Momoa and Jack Black in the leading roles. I expected the two of them to be equally wild, bouncing off one another and competing to see who could be the most outrageous. Unfortunately, that isn't what happens. Jack Black is as crazy as expected, but Jason Momoa is surprisingly restrained. He's amusing, but I kept waiting for him to really let himself go.

The other problem is the supporting cast. I admit that Henry is essential to the story, so I put up with him, even though I didn't find him particularly interesting. Dawn and Natalie could both have been omitted from the film, and it would have been better without them. Jennifer Coolidge, on the other hand, is terrific. She makes the most of every scene she's given, but unfortunately she isn't given enough of them. I would happily have traded Dawn and Natalie's screentime for more Jennifer Coolidge.

There was a standing joke in "2 Broke Girls" that whenever Jennifer Coolidge walked into the diner the unseen audience burst into applause, as if she were the real star of the show. I would have been applauding with them.

Visually, the film does what it needs to do, bringing the blocky Minecraft world to life without attempting to make it look realistic. There's plenty of colour and plenty happening on screen, and Jack Black throws himself into the madness with such enthusiasm that it's difficult not to smile whenever he's around. The ingredients for a very funny film are all there. They just don't come together as well as they should.

Maybe the trailer raised my expectations too high. I went into "A Minecraft Movie" expecting a wild comedy, and for a while I kept waiting for it to become the film that I'd been promised. Eventually I realised that it wasn't going to happen. I tried to like the film, but as it continued I couldn't help checking my watch. That's always a bad sign.

Success Rate:  + 4.4

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Madonna - Ray Of Light

I've never been a Madonna fan, but "Ray of Light" was different. It's a magnificent album, and much of its magic comes from William Orbit. He was the perfect match for Madonna, giving her music a depth and atmosphere that I've never heard on any of her other albums.

Today I'm listening to "Ray of Light" again, but this time it feels different. William Orbit passed away on 23rd July 2026, aged only 69, and the news of his death has only just been announced. It's sad to listen to his music knowing that he's gone, but it's also a reminder of what he left behind.

Above all, there's "Frozen". I've loved the song ever since I first heard it. Madonna's voice is beautiful, but it's Orbit's production that turns it into something extraordinary. The music seems to float around her voice, haunting and dreamlike, building into something that still sends shivers through me after all these years. I don't say this lightly: "Frozen" is one of the best pop songs ever recorded.

William Orbit may be gone, but as long as people continue to listen to "Ray of Light", they'll hear his genius. R.I.P. William Orbit.

William Orbit
15 December 1956 – 23 July 2026

X-Men: The Last Stand (4½ Stars)

"X-Men: The Last Stand" is the third film in the original X-Men trilogy. It's a very good film, but it suffers from what I call "telescoping". Comic book stories develop over years, while films have to squeeze the important events into a couple of hours. As a result, things that happened years apart in the comics can take place within days on screen.

That's particularly damaging here because the film combines two of the X-Men's most important stories, the Phoenix Saga and the Dark Phoenix Saga. In the comics Jean Grey returned from apparent death as Phoenix, but it wasn't until years later that Mastermind manipulated her and unleashed Dark Phoenix. In the film Jean returns and almost immediately becomes a destructive force. Phoenix is also presented as a power that has always existed within Jean, rather than a cosmic force. It's an effective story in its own right, but it loses much of the tragedy and gradual development that made the Dark Phoenix Saga so memorable.

At the same time, a second story concerns a "cure" for mutation, created from the powers of a young mutant who can temporarily suppress the abilities of other mutants. Magneto sees the cure as an attack on mutantkind and gathers an army to destroy it. It's a strong plot, but putting it alongside Dark Phoenix means that neither storyline gets as much room as it deserves.

The film also takes the surprising step of killing three of its central characters. Scott Summers dies early in the film, Jean Grey dies at the end and Professor Xavier is apparently killed by Jean. Xavier gets a reprieve after the credits. Earlier in the film he discusses the possibility of transferring the mind of a dying person into the body of someone with no higher brain functions. The final scene reveals that he has done exactly that, transferring his consciousness into another body.

So I have the same basic problem with "X-Men: The Last Stand" that I had when I last watched it. As an adaptation of the Dark Phoenix Saga it's disappointing. As a film, however, it's very good. Maybe the biggest mistake wasn't the way the story was told, but trying to tell so much of it at once.

Stan Lee makes one of his usual cameos at the beginning of the film. He appears as one of Jean Grey's neighbours, watering his garden as the water rises into the air.

There's a second cameo by Chris Claremont, playing another neighbour whose lawnmower starts floating. Lee co-created the X-Men with Jack Kirby, while Claremont wrote the original Dark Phoenix Saga. If anyone had earned the right to look puzzled by what the film was doing with Jean Grey, it was Chris Claremont.

Success Rate:  + 0.2

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Spider-Man: Brand New Day (5 Stars)

"Spider-Man: Brand New Day" is a good film in its own right, with plenty of action and an entertaining story. It works well as another chapter in Spider-Man's increasingly complicated life, even if the ever-expanding Marvel universe sometimes threatens to overwhelm him.

My biggest problem is the introduction of Jean Grey. The X-Men film chronology was already a mess, and this makes matters worse. More importantly, this Jean Grey bears little resemblance to the character I remember from the comics, particularly in the way her mutant powers are portrayed. I enjoyed the film, but as an old-school X-Men fan I found some of its choices difficult to accept.

X-Men 2 (4½ Stars)

"X-Men 2", commonly called "X2", is often regarded as one of the finest superhero films of the early 2000's, and it's easy to see why. Bryan Singer expands the scale of the original film with more action, stronger character development and a compelling story involving Colonel William Stryker's plan to wipe out the world's mutants. The action scenes are exciting, the special effects still hold up well and Hugh Jackman once again steals the show as Wolverine.

My biggest criticism of the X-Men films is one that applies to the entire series rather than this film alone. Instead of adapting the comics as they developed over the decades, the filmmakers created a pick-and-mix version of the team. Heroes from the 1960's, 1970's and 1980's are thrown together because they happened to be popular when the films were made. The original X-Men line-up of Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Beast, Iceman and Angel, created by Stan Lee, was discarded in favour of a roster that never existed in the comics. As someone who loves the classic stories, I find the disrespect for the source material disappointing.

Fortunately, "X-Men 2" succeeds on its own merits. The relationships between the characters are convincing, the pacing is excellent and the film balances spectacle with quieter moments surprisingly well. It may not be the X-Men story I wanted as a long-time comic reader, but taken as a superhero film it's an entertaining and well-crafted sequel.

Success Rate:  + 1.7

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Miyamoto Musashi 2: Duel at Hannya Hill (4 Stars)

After introducing Miyamoto Musashi's origins in the first film, "Miyamoto Musashi 2: Duel at Ichijoji Temple" follows his transformation from an impulsive young fighter into a man determined to master both the sword and himself. Although there are several impressive duels, the film is more interested in Musashi's personal growth than in action for its own sake.

In the first film he's known as Shinmen Takezo, the rough village youth whose violent temperament repeatedly gets him into trouble. At the beginning of this film he's given the name Miyamoto Musashi. The new name represents a fresh start. He's no longer trying to become the strongest swordsman through brute force alone. Instead, he sets out on a lifelong journey of discipline, self-improvement and spiritual development.

The contrast with the first film is striking. Takezo was quick to anger and eager to prove himself in every confrontation. Musashi is more patient and thoughtful. He chooses his battles carefully and spends as much time learning from the people he meets as he does perfecting his swordsmanship. His confidence now comes from growing inner strength rather than youthful arrogance, although the film makes it clear that his education is still far from complete.

The supporting characters continue to play an important role. Otsu remains devoted to Musashi despite his constant wandering, while Akemi's feelings become increasingly complicated. The film also introduces Sasaki Kojiro, another gifted swordsman whose personality provides an interesting contrast to Musashi's. Rather than presenting the two men as immediate enemies, the story gradually establishes them as rivals whose destinies will eventually collide.

Tomu Uchida directs the film at a measured pace, allowing the characters to develop naturally instead of rushing from one sword fight to the next. The beautiful photography captures both Japan's landscapes and its historic settings, while Nakamura Kinnosuke gives a more mature performance than in the first film, convincingly portraying a man who's begun to leave his reckless youth behind without losing his determination.

Although "Miyamoto Musashi 2" contains enough action to satisfy fans of samurai cinema, its greatest strength is the development of its central character. It marks the point where Takezo truly begins to become the legendary Miyamoto Musashi, laying the foundations for the remaining three films in Uchida's outstanding five-part series.

Terminator (5 Stars)

Sometimes I'm proud of German cinema audiences. Today "Terminator" was shown in my cinema as part of the monthly "Best Of Cinema" series. The theatre was almost sold out, with only a few empty seats left at the front.

James Cameron's "Terminator" remains one of the greatest films ever made because it blends two distinct genres. On the surface it's science fiction, with time travel and killer robots from the future. In reality it's also one of the most effective horror films ever made, with Arnold Schwarzenegger's unstoppable Terminator playing the role of a relentless monster hunting an ordinary young woman.

The premise is unforgettable: a cyborg assassin travels back in time to murder Sarah Connor before she can give birth to the future leader of the human resistance. From that point onwards the film barely pauses for breath. Schwarzenegger gives the defining performance of his career, creating a villain who's frightening not because of emotion, but because he has none. Linda Hamilton is equally convincing as Sarah, transforming from an unsuspecting waitress into a determined survivor, while Michael Biehn brings unexpected depth to Kyle Reese.

What makes "Terminator" so enduring is its atmosphere. Made on a modest budget, Cameron relies on suspense rather than spectacle, creating a dark, gritty nightmare that still feels more believable than many modern blockbusters. The action is relentless, the pacing is flawless and the film never loses sight of its horror roots, even as it explores one of cinema's most fascinating time travel paradoxes.

More than forty years later, "Terminator" still feels fresh. It isn't simply a great science fiction film or a great horror film. It's one of the rare classics that succeeds brilliantly as both.

Success Rate:  + 10.2

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Miyamoto Musashi (4 Stars)

Most Western audiences know Miyamoto Musashi as Japan's greatest swordsman, but the real man was much more than that. Born around 1584, Musashi lived during one of the most turbulent periods in Japanese history. The country had just emerged from the Sengoku period, more than a century of civil war, and was beginning to unite under the Tokugawa shogunate after the decisive Battle of Sekigahara in 1600. For countless samurai, peace brought an unexpected problem. There were no longer great wars to fight, so many became wandering swordsmen searching for purpose. Musashi was one of them.

Tomu Uchida's film follows Musashi before he became a legend. Instead of presenting an invincible hero, it shows an impulsive, stubborn young man who gradually learns discipline and self-control. His greatest enemy is not another swordsman, but his own pride. This makes the film far more interesting than a simple series of duels. Every victory teaches him another lesson about what it truly means to be a warrior.

The historical setting is recreated with impressive authenticity. Villages, castles and forests all feel like part of a living seventeenth century Japan rather than elaborate film sets. The action scenes are exciting without becoming exaggerated, while the quieter moments give the characters room to develop.

The film's most surprising sequence comes during the final ten minutes, when Musashi enters the castle and the story suddenly takes on a supernatural atmosphere. Ghostly figures and strange apparitions appear around him, making the solid walls of the castle seem less secure than the wilderness outside.

These ghosts aren't merely included to frighten the audience. They represent the castle's violent past and the psychological burden carried by Musashi himself. He may be physically fearless, but he's entering a world shaped by death, betrayal and political power. The supernatural elements turn the castle into a place of spiritual testing, forcing him to confront forces that can't be defeated with a sword.

The scene also reminds us that this isn't intended as a purely realistic biography. Musashi's development is presented as something almost mythic. Before he can become the legendary warrior remembered by history, he must pass through a world where history, folklore and personal fear overlap.

Holiday On The Buses (4 Stars)

The first two On The Buses films captured everything that made the television series so popular. "Holiday On The Buses" has its moments, but by taking the characters away from the bus depot it loses much of the identity that made the franchise unique.

The film opens brilliantly. Stan crashes his bus after being distracted by a woman who accidentally bares her breasts while running along the road. It's exactly the sort of cheeky humour fans expect, and for a couple of minutes it feels as though we're in for another classic. Unfortunately, the action soon moves to a Pontin's Holiday Camp, where it remains for most of the film.

There are still plenty of laughs. Stan's hopeless attempts to seduce every attractive woman he meets are as funny as ever, and the chemistry between Reg Varney, Bob Grant and Stephen Lewis remains the film's greatest strength. Stan, Jack and Blakey are such entertaining characters that they can raise a laugh almost regardless of the situation.

The problem isn't the familiar jokes. Stan has always been an unsuccessful womaniser, and that's part of the series' charm. The problem is the setting. With so little time spent on the buses, the comedy often feels closer to a Carry On film than On The Buses. The holiday bus appears only occasionally, and the depot, which was the heart of the first two films, is almost forgotten.

Worst of all, there isn't a single clippy. The conductresses were central to the television series and the earlier films, providing many of Stan's funniest encounters. Their complete absence leaves a noticeable gap, making the film feel less like On The Buses and more like a generic British holiday comedy.

Holiday on the Buses is still an enjoyable farewell to the series thanks to its wonderful central trio, but it's also the weakest of the three films. The laughs are still there, yet by abandoning the buses it also abandons much of what made On The Buses so special.

So why were these girls left out of the film? I'd ride their bus all the way to the depot.

Mutiny On The Buses (4½ Stars)

When Inspector Blakey first appears in the film, he's introduced with the words, "Look out! Here comes Hitler!" That's not a very complimentary nickname, but let's be honest. Anyone with a moustache like that is begging for the nickname.

The story begins with Stan announcing that he intends to marry his girlfriend Susy. The Butler family quickly realise that losing Stan's wages will leave them in serious financial trouble, a situation made even worse when Arthur loses his job. It's enough of a storyline to tie the various episodes together, but the plot is never the film's main attraction.

That's one of the reasons I enjoy it so much. Many critics complain that the film lacks a strong narrative, and they're right in one sense. Apart from Stan's engagement, "Mutiny On The Buses" is just a collection of comic episodes loosely strung together. Even the title is random, as there's no real mutiny. The dispute that supposedly gives the film its name is just one brief incident among many. Critics may see that as a weakness, but I think it's exactly the right approach.

I don't watch comedies for intricate plots; I watch them to laugh. "Mutiny On The Buses" keeps the laughs coming with remarkable consistency. The story simply provides a framework for one funny situation after another, allowing the familiar characters to do what they do best.

As always, the regular cast are the film's greatest strength. Reg Varney, Bob Grant and Stephen Lewis had spent years perfecting the chemistry between Stan, Jack and Blakey, and it shows in every scene they share. The film also introduces a new depot manager, Mr. Jenkins, who provides a decent foil for the regulars without overshadowing them. More memorable is Nymphy Nora, whose outrageous flirting, first with Arthur and later with Mr. Jenkins, produces some of the film's biggest laughs.

When I first saw the film, I remembered the Windsor Safari Park sequence as feeling out of place. Watching it again, I realised it's only a fifteen-minute episode that arrives well into the second half of the film. Rather than dominating the story, it's simply one more comic set piece before the film moves on to its closing scenes, including the satisfying twist that leaves Blakey demoted to a conductor.

My only real criticism concerns Little Arthur. Arthur and Olive never had children in the television series, and I don't think the films gained anything by changing that. Their constantly bickering marriage was already funny enough without introducing a baby into the household. Fortunately it's only a minor subplot and doesn't detract from the film as a whole.

The film would have been better if it had spent less time on Little Arthur and more time showing the clippies in their delightful short skirts. 

Like the television series itself, "Mutiny On The Buses" isn't trying to tell a profound story. Its purpose is to make the audience laugh, and it succeeds brilliantly. The loose structure allows the writers to move effortlessly from one comic situation to the next, and the jokes land with remarkable consistency. If you judge a comedy by the number of laughs rather than the complexity of its plot, this is one of the finest British comedies of the 1970s. It may not surpass the original, but it's a worthy companion piece that almost deserves a five-star rating.

On The Buses (5 Stars)

In America, British sitcoms such as "Are You Being Served", "The Vicar of Dibley" and "Goodnight Sweetheart" have built loyal followings. Strangely, one of Britain's funniest sitcoms has never enjoyed the same success. "On The Buses" was a huge hit in the UK from 1969 to 1973, yet somehow it slipped under the American radar. Perhaps the early black and white episodes put people off. Whatever the reason, they're missing a comedy classic.

Hammer Films brought the series to the big screen in 1971, and unlike many television spin-offs, it feels completely at home as a feature film. The setting has changed and the buses wear different colours, but Stan Butler, Jack Harper and Inspector Blakey are exactly as fans remember them. More importantly, the film doesn't abandon the formula that made the television series such a success.

The title tells you everything you need to know. It's a film about buses. Stan is a driver, Jack is a conductor and Blakey is the long-suffering inspector. Even when the story wanders into Stan's chaotic home life or his hopeless attempts to impress attractive women, the buses are never far away. Every few minutes another bus rumbles across the screen, reminding you that this is a working comedy built around everyday life rather than glamorous adventures.

The main story concerns the arrival of female bus drivers, a prospect that horrifies Stan and Jack. Today the idea seems wonderfully old-fashioned, but that's part of the film's charm. The comedy isn't making a serious statement about gender politics; it's poking fun at men whose attitudes were already becoming outdated. Stan may spend his time chasing pretty conductors and bus drivers, but he's so hopelessly awkward that his romantic escapades are innocent rather than predatory. Reg Varney's natural likeability keeps the character on the right side of lovable.

The cast couldn't be better. Reg Varney and Bob Grant have effortless chemistry, while Stephen Lewis steals every scene as the permanently exasperated Blakey. Their performances capture everything that made the television series so popular.

Critics dismissed "On The Buses" as crude and unsophisticated, but audiences had the last laugh. It became one of the biggest British box office hits of 1971, outperforming the James Bond film "Diamonds Are Forever" at the UK box office.

What makes the film so enduring isn't just the laughs. It captures a Britain that has largely disappeared. Stan and his family live in a modest working-class home where money is always tight, overtime is essential and life's little pleasures mean everything. It isn't a world of glamour or wealth, but one that feels warm, familiar and authentic. For anyone who grew up in a similar environment, these characters don't feel like sitcom creations; they feel like neighbours, friends or even members of your own family.

That's why "On The Buses" remains such a joy to watch. Beneath the jokes and the flirtation is a wonderfully affectionate portrait of everyday working-class Britain. It may never have conquered America, but for those who remember that world, it's one of the finest sitcom spin-offs ever made.

Success Rate:  + 25.8

Black Sabbath - Paranoid

There are songs you listen to because you like them. Then there are songs that become part of your daily routine. For me, Black Sabbath's "Paranoid" falls into the second category.

Every morning my Echo Studio wakes me with Tony Iommi's unmistakable guitar riff. If I'm in a hurry I'll silence it before Ozzy Osbourne has a chance to sing a word. On a more relaxed morning I let the whole track play before getting out of bed. It's become such a habit that I can't imagine waking up to anything else.

Of course, "Paranoid" deserves its place in rock history. Released in 1970, it was written almost as an afterthought to pad out the album, yet it became Black Sabbath's signature song. Clocking in at under three minutes, it's one of the shortest songs they ever recorded, but it captures everything that made the band unique. Tony Iommi's unforgettable riff, Geezer Butler's driving bass, Bill Ward's energetic drumming and Ozzy's unmistakable voice combine to create a song that still sounds fresh more than fifty years later.

I've heard "Paranoid" literally thousands of times, yet I never tire of it. Perhaps that's because I rarely sit down and choose to play it. Instead, it arrives at exactly the same moment every day, announcing that it's time to stop sleeping and start living.

Not many songs can claim to have changed the history of heavy metal. Even fewer can claim to have got me out of bed every morning.

Who am I (3 Stars)

Today's the first time I've seen "Who Am I?", and I have to admit I was disappointed. This isn't really a Jackie Chan film; it's a spy thriller that just happens to star Jackie Chan.

The story is interesting enough. After a military operation in Africa goes disastrously wrong, Jackie survives but loses his memory. Unable to remember even his own name, he sets out to discover who he is while being hunted by the people who betrayed him. The plot is surprisingly similar to the Jason Bourne films, mixing amnesia with an international conspiracy.

The problem is that Jackie rarely gets to do what he does best. The film spends so much time on espionage, journalists and corporate villains that the martial arts seem almost like an afterthought. Whenever a fight breaks out, it feels as though it's been added to remind us we're watching a Jackie Chan film rather than because the story needed it.

That's not to say the action is poor. The final rooftop fight is excellent, and Jackie's famous slide down the side of the Rotterdam building remains one of the greatest stunts of his career. I only wish there had been more moments like these.

As a spy thriller, "Who Am I?" is perfectly enjoyable. As a Jackie Chan film, I wanted more. It's worth seeing once, but I don't think it'll ever become one of my favourites.