Ready Player One (4½ Stars)

There's something special about Steven Spielberg. Over the last 40 years he's become a director that everyone knows. I'm bold enough to claim that he's the only living director that everyone knows, He makes films that appeal to the masses. He makes Blockbusters with a capital B. He's probably the best director to study if you want to learn how to make films. He has a modus operandi that might be repetitive, but it works. His films start with a bang; something big and exciting happens. This draws the audience in. Then it all slows down. We meet the important characters, and they're all described to us in great detail; we know them and we feel for them. After this the pace slowly builds up throughout the film, leading to a mighty climax.

We see this in his science fiction films, his adventure films, his war stories and his political thrillers. Whatever the genre, Steven Spielberg knows what he's doing, and he does it right.

I'm not saying he's the best director alive. He's not my favourite director. What characterises Steven Spielberg is that he doesn't take risks. His formula works, so he sticks to it. He's not a director like Quentin Tarantino, who dares to subvert genres and tread new territory. Steven Spielberg might not make the best films, but he never makes a bad film. Never. If you don't know what to watch, pick up one of his films. You won't be disappointed.

"Ready Player One" takes place in the near future, 2045. It's always dangerous naming the exact year. If I'm still writing my blog 30 years from now I'll review this film again to show you what the problem is. I think you can imagine it though. Compare it with "Until the End of the World", a science fiction film made in 1991. A critical plot element was that in the near future, the year 2000, everyone would be making video calls. That was a reasonable assumption, and I don't doubt that the technology was already available to replace telephones with videophones in 2000, but people didn't want it; they didn't want to be seen in the early morning with uncombed hair, so they stuck with voice-only telephones.

Let's get back to the film. In 2045 everyone lives in poverty. Everyone except for the elite few, of course. Trailer parks are the norm. The world has become so ugly that people prefer to live in virtual reality. There's a virtual reality game called Oasis that almost everyone plays. It offers whatever you want. You can play it for free and collect virtual currency in the world by completing tasks, with the option of cashing out and making money for the real world. You can also put real cash into the game to give yourself a head start. However, there's the risk that you can be killed within the game, which will strip you of all your virtual cash, and you have to start again.

The creator of Oasis, James Halliday, announced a quest before his death. He said that there was a prize hidden within the game. The film calls this prize an Easter egg, but I believe that's the wrong expression. The prize can only be won after finding three keys. After receiving the prize the winner becomes the owner of the game and very rich in the real world. The film follows the adventures of Wade Watts, an 18-year orphan who lives in Columbus, Ohio.

I would love to be able to play a game like Oasis. A few years ago I played a game with a similar concept, Second Life. It wasn't a Virtual Reality game, everything happened on the computer screen, but my vivid imagination made up for what was lacking in the technology. My avatar is what's shown above: a skinny boy who wears blue jeans, a Ramones t-shirt and sandals. Sometimes I wore a Slayer shirt, but the Ramones shirt was my favourite. I played Second Life (SL) very intensely, for hours every day, from 2006 to 2010. My first year was spent wandering around. SL is an enormous world, and there is so much to discover. After a year I found a purpose. I became a slave. I spent the next three years serving Miryam Robson, whom I called my Goddess. Whatever skills I had I devoted to her. I built her a castle to live in. I was her disc jockey playing her favourite music at her parties. When she wanted amusement she stripped me naked and whipped me till I screamed.

I wasn't her lover. Firstly, I wasn't worthy of her. How could a slave be a Goddess's lover? Secondly, she was a lesbian. Whenever she was with one of her lovers she locked me in a cage to keep me out of the way. If she was feeling kind towards me she let me watch. If not, she blindfolded me. I hated being blindfolded, because it meant I had to stare at a black screen, but I knew my place.

In 2010 Miryam had problems in her real life which made it difficult for her to be in SL very often. She thought it would be a temporary problem , but eight years later she's still rarely online. We stay in touch outside of the game by email, but it's not the same. I wish she would return.

I remained in SL for about two years, waiting for Miryam to return. I did other things. I bred and sold horses, which made me quite rich inside SL, but eventually I got bored. I still have my account, but I rarely log on, maybe once a month to check if any of my old friends are online. I knew a lot of people apart from Miryam, but most of them have moved on. SL is only as good as the friends you make, and if the friends depart there's nothing left.

A Virtual Reality game like Oasis would be a big thrill for me. Maybe I could be a slave again. Or maybe not. There can never be another Miryam in my life.