Showing posts with label Simon Pegg. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Simon Pegg. Show all posts

Monday, 8 September 2025

Ready Player One (4 Stars)


"Reality is the only thing that's real".

That's true, but the problem is, what do you do if you don't like your reality? Not everyone is dealt the same cards. If you're born into a poor family in America you have no chance of advancing. That's a fact. So I can understand the appeal of a virtual reality game like Oasis. Everybody is equal, or at least everybody starts out equal. Everybody can advance, based on his own skills. Everybody can win in-game wealth, which is simply called coin, singular.

You can play the game in different ways. You can keep your head down and play in a small environment, slowly gathering coin. That's not the way Parzival, real name Wade Watts, wants to play. There's a grand prize hidden somewhere in the game. Whoever finds it will be given unlimited wealth and complete control over the game. That's a lot.

The game reminds me of Second Life, which I played intensely when I was younger. I played the most from 2006 to 2010, spending hours every day in front of my computer. I still have an account, but I rarely play today. I found a place in the virtual world that suited me. I became a slave. I was surrounded by beautiful, dominant women. It was all I wanted. And no, I didn't gather coin. What need does a slave have of money?


Oasis has worlds within worlds. Parzival and his friends can visit a cinema to watch "The Shining". When they enter the doors they don't just sit on comfy chairs and munch popcorn. They enter the Overlook Hotel itself and face the terrors waiting behind every corner. It's easier to be a slave.

"Ready Player One" was released in 2018, and it highlights the problems of setting a film in the near future. In the introduction, Wade says "I was born in 2027, after the Corn Syrup Droughts, after the Bandwidth Riots". Let's wait another two years to watch the film again and see what's happened. The film itself takes place in 2045, when the world (America at least) has fallen into global poverty.

When the film was released it was a box office success, and it was generally praised by critics. I've read more recent reviews that describe it as a failure. "What went wrong?" is the question asked. It's common for old films to be re-evaluated, but the emphasis is on old. After 20 to 30 years critics can think things over and be less kind in their reviews. In the case of "Ready Player One" it's only been seven years. Have opinions changed so much in this short time?

Success Rate:  + 1.8

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Monday, 30 December 2024

World's End (5 Stars)


Simon Pegg and Nick Frost play two old friends who haven't seen each other for 20 years. They reunite to do a pub crawl in their former home town of Newton Haven. Twelve pubs, starting at "The First Post" and ending at "The World's End". Very appropriate names. But what are they staring at?


Schoolgirls! There's something delightfully sexy about girls in school uniforms, and clever women know how to take advantage of it, even in later years.


As it turns out, the schoolgirls aren't human, but even aliens know how to drive men crazy by dressing in school uniforms.


I would have surrendered to the alien schoolgirls, but the two heroes resist them and fight them to the death. As a result, society breaks down and all that there is to remind them of the past is Cornetto wrappers. There must be a moral in there somewhere.

Success Rate:  + 0.3

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Hot Fuzz (5 Stars)


Here they are again, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, the greatest comedy duo of the 21st Century. The only others who come close are Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart. In this film Simon Pegg (on the right, in case you didn't know) plays Nicholas Angel, a police officer who's been transferred from London to Sandford in Gloucestershire. The London police force didn't want him because he was too efficient and showed everyone else up. Nick Frost (on the left) plays Danny Butterman, a Sandford police officer who joined the police force because his father told him to do it.

The biggest crimes in Sandford are people cutting their neighbours' hedges. There hasn't been a murder in the village for years, but Nicholas soon discovers why. Whenever someone is killed the coroner declares it an accidental death.


Nicholas is all business. He refuses to eat Black Forest Gateau at work.


But he's willing to eat a Cornetto on duty. It's not a problem as long as he isn't driving.


In 2006 Olivia Colman was still unknown. What a cute smile!

"Hot Fuzz" takes a while to get going, but once it starts it's an amazing film.

Success Rate:  + 4.7

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Sunday, 29 December 2024

Shaun of the Dead (4 Stars)


Oh wait a minute! That's the wrong film! Let's start again!


I think I got the right Shaun this time. His white shirt confused me, but he's definitely not a sheep. Or is he? He walks in a daze through his daily life, not noticing that he's in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.


As long as the shops are still open and he can buy Cornetto ice cream, why should he bother about zombies walking the streets? It might look weird that he's carrying the Cornetto in his mouth, but he needs both hands to open his Coca Cola can.


Shaun doesn't get serious until he finds a zombie in his back garden. Together with his flatmate Ed they finish her off with whatever weapons they can find.


Back in the house they look at one another in shock. Is it because they've just killed their first zombie, or because Ed wants to know why his Cornetto wrapper is wet?

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are both great comedians in their own right, but as a team they're unbeatable. Laurel and Hardy, Bud Spencer and Terence Hill, and now Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. They should make more films together.

Success Rate:  + 4.5

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Friday, 5 November 2021

Ready Player One (4½ Stars)



This is a science fiction film that takes place in a future dystopian world. Actually, it takes place in a world within a world. To escape the ugliness of the real world, almost everyone plays a virtual reality game called Oasis. People can either go there to relax and enjoy the beauty that's lacking in the real world, or they can compete with others. When a person is killed in Oasis, his wealth is dropped where he stands, and it can be picked up by other players. Unlike the Matrix, the person doesn't die in the real world. He can carry on playing, but his character is now a penniless newbie that has to start all over again.

The game's creator, James Halliday, died five years before the film starts. In a pre-recorded message he says that he planted an Easter Egg in the game. Do I really have to explain what an Easter Egg is? Google it! Whoever finds this Easter Egg will receive Halliday's wealth and his controlling share of the company. For five years thousands of people have sought for the Easter Egg in vain.

Enter Wade Watts, a teenage orphan from Columbus, Ohio. His avatar in the game is called Parzival. That's a very chivalrous name. He's determined to find the Easter Egg, not just because of the money, but because Oasis is a game that he intends to win.

Films that rely heavily on CGI are usually criticised, but "Ready Player One" is an exception. Most of the film takes place inside a world of computer imagery, so the CGI is essential. It's done very well. It makes Oasis look like a game that I'd want to play. Of course, I wouldn't get into fights in order to take other players' money. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

The real world scenes of "Ready Player One" were filmed in Birmingham, where I used to live. I immediately recognised the streets in the scenes filmed in Digbeth. Other scenes weren't so obvious, but I found articles online which told me where they are. For the film the streets were made even dirtier than they look in real life.


Plagiarism, anyone? The film's similarity with "The Matrix" is obvious, except in "Ready Player One" people voluntarily plug themselves in. There are multiple references to other films, such as "Jurassic Park", "Child's Play" and the 1933 version of "King Kong". The longest reference is to "The Shining". In a scene set in a world within a world within a world, Parzival and his friends find themselves in the Overlook Hotel.

Success Rate:  + 1.8

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Thursday, 7 October 2021

The Sparks Brothers (5 Stars)


Quite simply, this is the best documentary I've ever seen. It manages to be informative and entertaining at the same time. This is a mixture that most documentaries, even good documentaries, fail to achieve.

Prior to watching the film I had only limited knowledge of the Sparks brothers, Russell and Ron Mael. That means I belong to the film's target audience. Like most people from the UK, I considered Sparks to be a one hit wonder. For many years I only knew them from their hit single "This town ain't big enough for both of us", which reached number two in the British pop charts in 1974. I first saw them performing this song on Top Of The Pops, after which it became a hit.

An aside note about Top Of The Pops, the British pop music programme that was broadcast from 1964 to 2006. I watched it every week throughout my youth, from my early teens until I left England at 22. I didn't like most of the songs, but I considered it essential viewing to keep up with British music culture. It was broadcast on Thursday evening on BBC. At school the next day my friends discussed the programme, and sometimes I threw in my own opinions, which were shouted down. My friends were into pop music, I wasn't. When I was 18 and went to university I still watched Top Of The Pops, and I discussed it with my best friend, Christopher Burton. Sometimes we even watched it together. We had similar tastes in music, so we usually agreed that most of the songs were bad.

But getting back to Sparks. I saw them perform "This town ain't big enough for both of us" on a Thursday evening in 1974. It was a song that I liked. The next day in school all the children were enthusiastic about it. It was one of the rare times that I belonged to the in crowd. I was in the sixth form at the time, and my school had a sixth form lounge. Radio One ran all day, when there were no lessons. Nobody ever changed the channel. I remember Terry Wogan talking about the Sparks performance the next day. He said, "Did you see the man with those eyes?"

After that, Sparks disappeared, as far as I was concerned. The only other song that I ever heard was "Something for the girl with everything", a 1975 single which didn't become a hit. Wikipedia lists a song called "Never turn your back on Mother Earth" as a minor hit in late 1974, but I don't remember it. Maybe they never played it on Top Of The Pops.

I lived in Germany from 1978 to 1997. Then I moved to America. That's where I rediscovered Sparks. Several of my friends were Sparks fans. Huh? So they weren't a one hit wonder after all? I listened to the album "Kimono My House", and I loved it. I borrowed other Sparks albums. I also listened to their early albums. I was surprised to find out that their first album, "Halfnelson", was produced by Todd Rundgren. I was (and still am) a big fan of Todd Rundgren's early music (1968 to 1976). He wasn't a typical record producer. Whenever he produced a record, he took control. He became a non-playing member of the group. I can recognise his style in "Halfnelson".

P.S. I'm convinced that Todd Rundgren plays guitar on "Electrick Gypsies" on Steve Hillage's album "L", even though he isn't credited.

I bought a few of Sparks' albums. In 2000 they were stolen, along with the rest of my CD collection, by Thomas Kuzilla of Dearborn Heights, Michigan. I'm not a believer in Karma, but I'm happy to say that he's now dead. The world is a better place without him. I rebought some of my favourite CDs, but I didn't have enough money to replace all 1800 of them, so I had to make a selection. I didn't rebuy any of Sparks' albums. In retrospect, that was a mistake.

So I forgot Sparks again. This lasted until 2010. At that time I was able to download most albums from the Internet. It was illegal, technically speaking, but I didn't care. I retrieved MP3 versions of at least half of my stolen music collection. I added some new albums. Among others, I downloaded the complete collection of Sparks up to 2010. I enjoyed most of the albums, but not all of them. "Plagiarism" stood out as an album that particularly annoyed me. It didn't remain on my hard drive for long.

Over the next years I've occasionally listened to Sparks, especially their 1970's albums. Now it's become legal. I listen to their albums on Amazon Music, so I don't have to clutter up my hard disc with thousands of MP3s.

Incidentally, from 2010 to 2015 I owned two computers. One of them was used solely for collecting MP3s. I had both computers in the same room. I used to write and chat on one computer while the other was playing music.


Last month I was reminded of Sparks again by the release of "Annette", a musical written by the Sparks brothers, featuring their music. While reading reviews of the film I found out that Edgar Wright had made a documentary about the group. Edgar Wright? Then I had to see it! He's one of my favourite directors. He'd never made documentaries before this, but if he makes a documentary it has to be good.

I wasn't disappointed.

The film filled in my almost non-existent knowledge of the band's history. There was (probably) nothing new for hardcore Sparks fans, of which there was at least one in the cinema audience, based on her Sparks outfit. For me it was new, and there were a few surprises. I never knew that they were lived in England for two periods in their career. From 1973 to 1976 they formed a group that only had British musicians, apart from the two brothers themselves. This sometimes led to the misconception that Russell and Ron Mael were British as well, but No, they're from California. There's a curious anecdote about their first appearance on Top Of The Pops. They were signed up to appear on the show, but when they turned up to make a recording the producer realised they were American, and he told them they couldn't appear because of the rules of the musicians' union. Their slot on the show was given to the Rubettes at short notice. They finally appeared on Top Of The Pops three weeks later after signing the appropriate papers (which probably included joining the British musicians' union, although it wasn't stated).

I was also told that Sparks were popular in Germany in the 1980's. That surprised me. On the other hand, I lost track of the pop music scene while I lived in Germany. There was no German equivalent of Top Of The Pops for me to watch every week.

Sparks isn't the biggest band of the 1970's, or any other era. What makes them stand out is that they've retained their energy for 50 years. Think of any other rock groups of the 1970's. They had big success for a few years, after which they fizzled out. Maybe their albums became samey. Maybe they stopped making albums. Maybe they just spent their years as tired old men on stage performing their greatest hits for older fans. Not Sparks. Russell and Ron Mael, with changing support musicians, have managed to change styles and remain fresh over the decades.

The film's tag line is "Your favourite band's favourite band". That's interesting, and it's a theme that crops up repeatedly when famous musicians (i.e. more famous than Sparks) are interviewed in the documentary. Sparks are a group that's more popular with musicians than with the general public. They were also influential as the first Anglo-American electropop group in the late 1970's, paving the way for groups like the Pet Shop Boys and Human League. Most fans don't even realise that Sparks were the main influence of their favourite bands.

The documentary progresses through Sparks' 25 albums and the stylistic changes over the years. What fascinated me is that they had a six year enforced hiatus from 1988 to 1994. Due to low sales of their previous albums, they couldn't find a company that would give them a recording contract. That would make any other group give up. Any other group would turn to drugs, or simply get new jobs. Not Sparks. For six years they worked hard, writing and recording new songs. They were in their studio every day. I wonder how many albums can be made from this music archive.

How many more years of music can we expect from Sparks? That depends on their health. Ron Mael is 76, Russell Mael is 73. They both seem to be healthy, but it's a critical age. I hope they continue for years while their creativity is at a high point.

One thing that I didn't entirely agree with is the claim that Sparks, unlike most bands, include humour in their music. I don't see that. There's nothing in their songs that makes me laugh. What I see in their music is a subtle irony. Maybe that's what Edgar Wright means.


Where do I go from here? The documentary overwhelmed me. I've decided to listen to all the Sparks albums again, the more recent ones for the first time. I'll listen to each album chronologically, even "Plagiarism". but not just in quick succession. I'll listen to each album several times in order to fully appreciate it.

Saturday, 10 July 2021

Terminal (2 Stars)


This is a film about a group of professional hitmen that takes place in and around a train station. Many things happen that seem to be random occurrences, but towards the end of the film everything is neatly tied up. That's just the problem with the film. For most of it the viewer is left puzzling what things have to do with one another.

The film's strength is the high calibre of its actors. Margot Robbie and Simon Pegg are excellent. The film's weakness is the general confusion. For most of the film Simon Pegg, who's terminally ill, sits talking to Margot Robbie about ways to kill himself, while two hitmen are discussing their next job. The scenes swap backwards and forwards, and there are even flashbacks to earlier occurrences, leaving the viewer with no idea what's going on. It's true, if I watch the film a second time I'll know how everything fits together, but I doubt I'll watch it again.


By the way, don't you think that Margot Robbie looks sexy with black lipstick? Or is it just dark red lipstick, so dark that it looks black? Whichever it is, it's a perfect contrast to her blond hair.

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Monday, 6 April 2020

Cuban Fury (4 Stars)


After watching "Cuban Fury" again today, only the second time in six years, I have to say that Nick Frost is one of the best actors alive. He's just perfect in everything he does. He even learnt how to dance salsa for this film. He's a true professional.


But the film has even more going for it, including a cast of top British actors. Any film starring Olivia Colman is a joy to watch. I can boast that I liked her before she won an Oscar.


Ian McShane is a great but underrated actor.


There's even Simon Pegg. The first time I watched the film I saw his name in the credits, but I couldn't remember seeing him. It's a very brief appearance in the film, lasting only 38 frames (1.5 seconds). Because he drives past in a car quickly, I wasn't even certain it was him when I watched the film today, so I had to rewind and pause the film. Yes, it's definitely him.


Now for the negatives. Check out this newspaper clipping. The last three paragraphs in the first column are repeated in the second column. You can click on the picture to enlarge it. That's sloppy.


Here's another newspaper clipping in a scrapbook. The last paragraph is a repeat of the first paragraph, as you can see clearly if you click on the photo. That's more sloppy journalism.

Success Rate:  + 2.6

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Sunday, 26 August 2018

World's End (5 Stars)


After watching "Christopher Robin" yesterday, I thought it would be a good idea to watch another film about not growing up. Whereas "Christopher Robin" is about never being too old to dream, "The World's End" is about never being too old to go wild and have a good time.

Gary King (Simon Pegg) grew up in the sleepy little town of Newton Haven. When he was 18 he went on a pub crawl with his four best friends. The intention was to drink a pint of beer in each of the town's 12 pubs, from the First Post to the World's End. (Click here for a gallery of the pub signs in order). The boys never finished. By the ninth pub they were too drunk to continue, but Gary considered it the best day of his life.

School was over, and Newton Haven isn't a place people stay if they don't have to. They moved away. They moved on.


Peter Page (Eddie Marsan) has become a self-employed car salesman.


Steven Prince (Paddy Considine) owns a building company.


Oliver Chamberlain (Martin Freeman) is an estate agent.


Andrew Knight (Nick Frost) is a corporate lawyer.


The other four have successful careers, but what about Gary? We're never told what he's done with his life for the last 20 years, but the suggestion is that it's nothing. Even if it was something, Gary's life has amounted to nothing. After 20 years he's still the same person he was when he left Newton Haven. He drives the same car, he listens to the same cassette tape (made for him by Steven), and he still wears a black leather jacket and a Sisters of Mercy T-shirt.

Gary King looks cool while the others look boring. They've adapted to society as they've grown older. Gary is still 18 in his heart.

More than anything else, Gary wants to regain the magic of his youth. He wants to repeat the legendary pub crawl, but this time he wants to succeed. His former friends are reluctant to relive this day, but he persuades them. After all, he's the King, while the others are only the Prince, the Chamberlain, the Knight and the Page. Gary has a charismatic power that the four businessmen don't.


It's not just charisma. Gary has a strength of character that the others lack. When they discover that Newton Haven is the site of an alien invasion, Gary is the only one who can save the world. However, that's only his second priority. The most important thing for Gary is to finish the pub crawl.

I can relate to Gary, to a certain extent. As a teenager I didn't live a life as wild as his, but I certainly lived an eccentric life. I promised I would never let myself grow old. I kept my promise for a few years. Then I got married, and it was hard to stay a teenager at heart when I had a wife and children. Like the four friends, I became a businessman. I advanced in my career and became the development leader of a small electronics company, responsible for 30 employees. Then things fell apart. First my marriage broke down, then my career, then my health. I considered it a tragedy at first, but then I came to my senses. Was it all such a bad thing? I needed to be knocked down to remind me that I'd broken the promise to myself. I'd let myself grow old, but it was now time to return to my youth. Not 18, I like to think of myself as a 16-year-old, or even younger. When I was 14 I had a naive attitude that I wish I'd never lost.

It's not about drinking. When I was young I drank a lot less alcohol that I did in my 30's. I drank almost no alcohol at all until I left university, although I did have a weird experience when I was 18. I was on holiday in Neuengeseke, Germany with my sister Shirley. In the afternoon we went to a Schützenfest (just a beer tent, a typical German excuse for drinking). I drank seven beers, only 300 ml glasses, but that was still a lot for me. Later in the evening we went to a smaller party. My friend Ulrich Goltsche challenged me to a drinking contest. Which one of us could drink the most shots? I accepted the challenge. We were drinking shots of potent German schnapps. The drinks kept on coming. Everyone was cheering when I downed each glass. After 18 glasses I saw Shirley arguing and punching people. I asked what was wrong. She told me that the drinking contest was a fake. They just wanted to get me drunk. I was drinking schnapps, but Ulrich was only drinking water. Ulrich admitted it was true. I was annoyed. I drank the 19th glass that had already been set in front of me, and I began to run. The others tried to catch me, but I was too fast. I ran and I ran. I hardly knew the area, but there were street signs. It was almost pitch black, so I had to stare closely at the signs and feel them to make out what they said. It was at least two miles, but miraculously I found my way back to the house in Neuengeseke.

I don't know how I did it. I was intoxicated, but I wasn't too drunk to get home. I've never drunk so much in one day since then. When I was in my 30's I sometimes drank two liters of wine, but never 19 shots. I stopped drinking while I was in America, and when I started drinking again a few years later my tolerance to alcohol had lessened. I can't drink that much now. Half a liter of wine is comfortable, and one liter is my limit. I'm not the drinker I used to be.

Not that I really want to be a big drinker. I don't drink often nowadays, and when I do drink it's to lessen my inhibitions and reach a golden moment when everything in the world makes sense. If I can reach this point without spending a lot of money I'm happy.

Unlike Gary, I've never saved the world. Not yet, anyway.

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Wednesday, 11 April 2018

Ready Player One (4½ Stars)


There's something special about Steven Spielberg. Over the last 40 years he's become a director that everyone knows. I'm bold enough to claim that he's the only living director that everyone knows, He makes films that appeal to the masses. He makes Blockbusters with a capital B. He's probably the best director to study if you want to learn how to make films. He has a modus operandi that might be repetitive, but it works. His films start with a bang; something big and exciting happens. This draws the audience in. Then it all slows down. We meet the important characters, and they're all described to us in great detail; we know them and we feel for them. After this the pace slowly builds up throughout the film, leading to a mighty climax.

We see this in his science fiction films, his adventure films, his war stories and his political thrillers. Whatever the genre, Steven Spielberg knows what he's doing, and he does it right.

I'm not saying he's the best director alive. He's not my favourite director. What characterises Steven Spielberg is that he doesn't take risks. His formula works, so he sticks to it. He's not a director like Quentin Tarantino, who dares to subvert genres and tread new territory. Steven Spielberg might not make the best films, but he never makes a bad film. Never. If you don't know what to watch, pick up one of his films. You won't be disappointed.

"Ready Player One" takes place in the near future, 2045. It's always dangerous naming the exact year. If I'm still writing my blog 30 years from now I'll review this film again to show you what the problem is. I think you can imagine it though. Compare it with "Until the End of the World", a science fiction film made in 1991. A critical plot element was that in the near future, the year 2000, everyone would be making video calls. That was a reasonable assumption, and I don't doubt that the technology was already available to replace telephones with videophones in 2000, but people didn't want it; they didn't want to be seen in the early morning with uncombed hair, so they stuck with voice-only telephones.

Let's get back to the film. In 2045 everyone lives in poverty. Everyone except for the elite few, of course. Trailer parks are the norm. The world has become so ugly that people prefer to live in virtual reality. There's a virtual reality game called Oasis that almost everyone plays. It offers whatever you want. You can play it for free and collect virtual currency in the world by completing tasks, with the option of cashing out and making money for the real world. You can also put real cash into the game to give yourself a head start. However, there's the risk that you can be killed within the game, which will strip you of all your virtual cash, and you have to start again.

The creator of Oasis, James Halliday, announced a quest before his death. He said that there was a prize hidden within the game. The film calls this prize an Easter egg, but I believe that's the wrong expression. The prize can only be won after finding three keys. After receiving the prize the winner becomes the owner of the game and very rich in the real world. The film follows the adventures of Wade Watts, an 18-year orphan who lives in Columbus, Ohio.


I would love to be able to play a game like Oasis. A few years ago I played a game with a similar concept, Second Life. It wasn't a Virtual Reality game, everything happened on the computer screen, but my vivid imagination made up for what was lacking in the technology. My avatar is what's shown above: a skinny boy who wears blue jeans, a Ramones t-shirt and sandals. Sometimes I wore a Slayer shirt, but the Ramones shirt was my favourite. I played Second Life (SL) very intensely, for hours every day, from 2006 to 2010. My first year was spent wandering around. SL is an enormous world, and there is so much to discover. After a year I found a purpose. I became a slave. I spent the next three years serving Miryam Robson, whom I called my Goddess. Whatever skills I had I devoted to her. I built her a castle to live in. I was her disc jockey playing her favourite music at her parties. When she wanted amusement she stripped me naked and whipped me till I screamed.

I wasn't her lover. Firstly, I wasn't worthy of her. How could a slave be a Goddess's lover? Secondly, she was a lesbian. Whenever she was with one of her lovers she locked me in a cage to keep me out of the way. If she was feeling kind towards me she let me watch. If not, she blindfolded me. I hated being blindfolded, because it meant I had to stare at a black screen, but I knew my place.


In 2010 Miryam had problems in her real life which made it difficult for her to be in SL very often. She thought it would be a temporary problem , but eight years later she's still rarely online. We stay in touch outside of the game by email, but it's not the same. I wish she would return.

I remained in SL for about two years, waiting for Miryam to return. I did other things. I bred and sold horses, which made me quite rich inside SL, but eventually I got bored. I still have my account, but I rarely log on, maybe once a month to check if any of my old friends are online. I knew a lot of people apart from Miryam, but most of them have moved on. SL is only as good as the friends you make, and if the friends depart there's nothing left.

A Virtual Reality game like Oasis would be a big thrill for me. Maybe I could be a slave again. Or maybe not. There can never be another Miryam in my life.

Sunday, 25 March 2018

Star Trek: Beyond (3 Stars)


Some of my readers might be wondering why I'm giving the latest Star Trek film the same rating as the trashy sci-fi film that I watched yesterday, "The Interplanetary Surplus Male and the Amazon Women from Outer Space". That's an easy question to answer. I rate films in the context of what they're attempting to achieve and whether I think they succeed. "The Interplanetary Surplus Male" -- I have to shorten its name -- is a low budget film made for laughs. I laughed, but I didn't laugh a lot. Three stars. Average. "Star Trek: Beyond" is a big budget motion picture, intended to excite and thrill the viewer. I was excited, but not a lot. Three stars. Average.

I just can't relate to the new Star Trek films made since 2009. They're not right. How can they cast actors who weren't in the original series? I mean, just look at Zoe Saldana. She's a beautiful woman, nobody could deny that, but she's not Nichelle Nichols. Not even close. The same is true of all the other cast members. Chris Pine isn't William Shatner. It's tantamount to sacrilege to allow him to play James T. Kirk. Maybe if I'd never watched the original series I could appreciate the new films more.

Why couldn't they have made the films about another star ship and its crew who were active at the same time as Captain Kirk? That would have been better.

Idris Elba is the film's villain. Normally that would have excited me, because he's one of my favourite actors. However, I feel that he's wasted in his role as Krall. For most of the film he's unrecognisable. It's not just his face, even his voice isn't recognisable. It was a waste hiring such a magnificent actor for this role. They could have saved money by putting a random stunt man inside the costume for the film.


The battle in the final scenes looked very much like something taken from "Star Wars". That's my main criticism of the film: it's too Star-Wars-ish.

Supposedly a fourth Star Trek film will be made with the new actors. I'm dreading it. I thought that computer technology is now far enough advanced to recreate actors on screen. Bring back young versions of William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelly and Nichelle Nichols. That's the only way to make a good Star Trek film again.

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Thursday, 12 October 2017

Star Trek: Into Darkness (3 Stars)


After my disappointment with the previous Star Trek film I was reluctant to lay my money down to see "Star Trek: Into Darkness" in the cinema. It's now been available on Netflix for a while, so I finally broke down and watched it, more out of curiosity than anything else. I'm happy to say that it's better than the last film. It's quite good actually, almost worthy of a four star rating, but one thing holds me back: it's just not Star Trek.

For me it's sacrilegious for new actors to play the characters I've known and loved all my life. Zachary Quinto is relatively similar to Leonard Nimoy as Spock, but all the other actors are so distantly removed that I could weep. Chris Pine might be a good actor, but he's not James T. Kirk, not even close. I wouldn't recognise John Cho as Hikaru Sulu if his name weren't occasionally shouted. Worst of all is Zoe Saldana as Uhura, whose first name I refuse to speak or write. She's much too skinny for the role, and her personality in the film is nothing like that of the woman played by Nichelle Nichols in the original series. I still can't get over the fact that a romance is supposed to exist between Spock and Uhura. That's wrong, wrong, wrong!

Maybe I'll watch the film again one day and forget that it's supposed to be about Star Trek. Then I might give it a higher rating. Don't hold your breath while you're waiting.

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