Borderlands (3 Stars)

I missed this film in the cinema. I was interested in seeing it, but I had personal commitments that kept me away. It happens.

It was obvious from the beginning that the film is trash. Doesn't the film poster that I've included above scream trash at you? But who cares? If it's a good story I can accept any amount of trash. Besides, it's directed by Eli Roth, whose films are always worth watching, trash or not.

The film follows a bounty hunter called Lilith (played by Cate Blanchett) who's sent to the planet Pandora to find the daughter of a wealthy businessman. This planet also contains the Vault of an extinct race. There are different opinions what the Vault contains, from powerful weapons to enormous gems, but everyone wants it. Lilith has no interest in the Vault until she hears of an ancient prophecy that one day a young girl will come who's destined to open the Vault. Tina, the businessman's daughter, is convinced that she's the girl.

The film is beautiful in its chaotic scenery. The characters all clash with one another. I personally found the tiny robot Claptrap annoying. I quite enjoyed the film, but I can't imagine myself wanting to watch it again.

Success Rate:  - 3.3

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Hot Fuzz (5 Stars)

Here they are again, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, the greatest comedy duo of the 21st Century. The only others who come close are Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart. In this film Simon Pegg (on the right, in case you didn't know) plays Nicholas Angel, a police officer who's been transferred from London to Sandford in Gloucestershire. The London police force didn't want him because he was too efficient and showed everyone else up. Nick Frost (on the left) plays Danny Butterman, a Sandford police officer who joined the police force because his father told him to do it.

The biggest crimes in Sandford are people cutting their neighbours' hedges. There hasn't been a murder in the village for years, but Nicholas soon discovers why. Whenever someone is killed the coroner declares it an accidental death.

Nicholas is all business. He refuses to eat Black Forest Gateau at work.

But he's willing to eat a Cornetto on duty. It's not a problem as long as he isn't driving.

In 2006 Olivia Colman was still unknown. What a cute smile!

"Hot Fuzz" takes a while to get going, but once it starts it's an amazing film.

Success Rate:  + 4.7

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Thor: Ragnarok (4½ Stars)

Disney Wednesday #14

How many Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) films have been made so far? I guessed that it was 32, but I had to check before I continued writing. I was right. Thirty-two films. It looks like even more then I write 32 in words. I couldn't put them in the right order. To help myself, I've put a little green sticker with the number on the spine of my MCU Blu-rays.

While I'm in England I'll be watching the Marvel films (MCU or otherwise) in random order. My son-in-law Mehdi hasn't seen them all, so I'll leave the decision up to him what comes next. "Thor: Ragnarok" is a good choice.

Success Rate:  + 2.7

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Nightmare Alley (5 Stars)

This is a wonderful film by Guillermo del Toro, whose last film, "The Shape of Water", won him two Academy Awards for the Best Film and the Best Director. Considering his previous successes, it's amazing that his new film has been so under-promoted. No trailers were shown in the cinema in the weeks leading up to its release. I saw a poster hanging outside the cinema, the one shown above, but del Toro's name wasn't apparent. I didn't know that the film was by him until a friend pointed it out to me. I immediately knew I had to see the film.

"Nightmare Alley" has been described as neo-noir. I don't know what that word means, and I doubt anyone else does. It's just a word thrown about to describe crime films. It was also claimed that "Nightmare Alley" is a remake of the 1947 film with the same name. That's not true. It's the second adaptation of the book called "Nightmare Alley" by William Gresham. The new film isn't in any way based on the old film. Any similarities are the result of having the same source material.

The film begins with Stan Carlisle killing a man. We find out more details as the film continues. Stan goes on the run and joins a carnival. He's fascinated by Zeena, a mind-reader. It seems real, but Stan is told it's all a show perfected by her husband Pete. Stan moves into their house and learns from Pete. He eventually leaves the carnival and sets himself up as a mind-reader.

Stan meets a psychologist, Dr. Lilith Ritter, who sees through his fake readings, but is nevertheless impressed by his talent. Together they devise a scam to get money from rich people in New York. She gives Stan information about them from her therapy sessions which he can use when reading their minds.

For me it was fascinating to hear the tricks of fake psychics. William Gresham must have done a lot of research to find out their secrets.

The film is a slow burner. The suspense slowly builds for more than two hours. We know that Stan's steady rise to the top of his profession will finally result in a fall, but how will it happen? The viewer is left in suspense until the end of the film. It's an excellent film, and I'm glad I didn't miss it.

The Gift (2000) (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #63

I saw this film in the cinema when it was released in 2001. If I remember correctly, it was a random choice. I lived close to a cinema, and I had some time on my hands, so I decided to see a film. It was a multiplex, I forget how many screens, but there were only a couple of films that were about to start, and this looked like the best. I didn't even know it was directed by Sam Raimi until it started. Wow! It knocked me off my feet. I wonder if I would ever have discovered it if I hadn't walked into the cinema that day.

Most American films take place in New York, or to be more specific, they take place in Manhattan. In second place is Washington DC. Between them, those two locations must make up more than half of Hollywood's films. If aliens invade, they land in Manhattan. If a monster crawls out of the sea, it arrives in Manhattan. If a giant meteorite is heading for Earth, it'll fall directly on Manhattan. That's actually understandable. Hollywood wants to make films that audiences can relate to, and New York City is the place that everyone knows. The landmarks are immediately recognisable.

I'm thankful that Sam Raimi doesn't follow this pattern, unless he absolutely has to. The Spider-Man films are set in New York, but his other films are in more imaginative locations. "The Gift" takes place in a fictional small town in Georgia called Brixton. There are no landmarks to tell the viewer where he is, but he's immediately at home. It's small town America. There's a courthouse, and there's a church where every good person goes on Sunday.

Annie Wilson doesn't go to church. Does that make her a bad person? In the eyes of the townspeople, yes. She has a gift. She's psychic. It runs in her family. She can see both the future and the past. She's called a witch and a Satanist, but neither label applies to her. She's just a single mother struggling to earn enough money to feed her three children after the death of her husband. If she can make money from telling the future, so be it. However, it seems like most of her clients come to her for advice that any counsellor could give, even without psychic abilities. Valerie Barksdale is a woman whose husband hits her, so she comes to Annie to ask her what to do. I could answer that question myself.

The film is about a murder investigation. Jessica King, played by Katie Holmes, is engaged to the local school's headmaster. One evening she disappears and is feared dead. She's known to be promiscuous, so anyone could be a suspect. Jessica's father asks Annie to find her body, much to the distress of the town sheriff, who doesn't believe in hocus pocus.

I've written detailed reviews about this film and its cast in the past, but I forgot to mention Rosemary Harris as Annie's grandmother. She only appears for a few minutes, but her performance is so outstanding that she lifts the quality of the whole film. She must have impressed Sam Raimi, because he called on her to play Peter Parker's Aunt May in the Spider-Man films.

Success Rate:  + 2.5

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Song To Song (1 Star)

I very rarely give a film a one star rating. For me that's rock bottom, it means that the film has no redeeming qualities. Whenever I see a film I don't like I deliberately search for things I can praise about it. I did that today when I watched "Song To Song".

The film is about love and music. Those are two topics I like. In both cases, the film is about them, but we don't see them. There are big concerts, and we see artists like Iggy Pop, Johnny Rotten and Patti Smith talking backstage, but we don't see them perform. There are couples who say they love one another, but we don't see any passion. It's all so sterile.

But what is the film really about? What does the director want to say? If the film has a message, I can't see it. Supposedly the film's original cut lasted eight hours, but it was shortened to two hours for the theatrical release. Maybe the eight hour version would have explained more. Or maybe it would have been four times as boring.

Despite the abundance of great actors, I sat in front of the screen feeling bored. It's painful to even write about it, so I'll stop here.

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Thor: Ragnarok (4½ Stars)

Normally when I rewatch a film I read my old review(s) first. I failed to do that today. After watching the film I sat down, wrote a few sentences, then finally checked what I wrote in January. Oops! I was writing the same things all over again. I don't want to bore my readers, so I scrapped it and started again. Let's write something new!

This is a very good film. At first I thought it was lightweight, compared to the other MCU films, but that's not the case. The film has a complex plot, but it seems light due to the amount of humour.

In this review I'll just treat you with photos of Cate Blanchett as the Goddess of Death and ignore all the minor characters. Death has never looked so good.

And she has a cute dog. My dog always used to sit on my lap when I was watching films, but I don't think the Hellhound would be so affectionate. I hope not.

Was Hela killed in "Thor: Ragnarok"? Seemingly. I don't see how it could be permanent. You can't kill death. I'd like to see her in a future MCU film.

Which reminds me... when will the MCU be rebooted? I'm not saying that I want a reboot, but it's inevitable. The actors are getting older and have to quit their roles. There can be new phases with younger actors playing new super-heroes, but this can't carry on indefinitely. The core characters of the Marvel universe can't be allowed to disappear. Spider-Man, Daredevil, Captain America, Thor, just to name a few. Marvel wouldn't be Marvel without them.

Success Rate:  + 2.7

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Thor: Ragnarok (4 Stars)

This is the 17th film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, released in November 2017.

Those familiar with Norse legends will recognise that the Ragnarok shown in this film is a mini-Ragnarok. In the film it has to do with the destruction of Asgard. In the Norse legends Midgard (the name for our planet Earth) is also destroyed.

The film combines two stories. The first story is about Hela, Thor's older sister, attempting to conquer Asgard after Odin's death. The second story is about the Hulk fighting in an arena on a distant planet. The stories could have been told in two separate films, but I think Marvel Studios was too afraid that a Hulk solo film would fail at the box office. As it is, the stories blend well into one another.

Stan Lee appears as a barber on the planet where the Hulk lives. He's responsible for cutting Thor's hair short, so he can comfortably wear a helmet in the arena. Poor Thor. When I was 23 I let my hair be cut short because it's what my fiancée Elke wanted. When I got home and looked at myself in the mirror I cried. Needless to say, I never married Elke. Any woman who tries to change a man before they're even married doesn't deserve to have him. The reverse is also the case. If I fell in love with a woman with certain characteristics, inside or outside, why would I want to change her?

This is Thor with his beautiful long hair.

This is Thor with his short hair. His face alone says that he's not happy.

Most men lose their hair as they get older, so they're forced to cut their hair short. That's different. By the time I was 40 I had a large bald patch, but I could still have worn my hair long into my mid thirties. I should have done so, but after splitting up with Elke it was difficult for me to grow it long again. There was a mental block which I should have tried to overcome.

Thor has no respect for the man who forcibly cut his hair. When asked by Bruce Banner what had happened to his hair he replies "Some creepy old man cut it off". That man might have been the great Stan Lee, but Thor's attitude is understandable. I could never respect any man who cut off my long hair.

Loki is allowed to keep his long hair. As the God of Trickery and Mischief he must have found a way to keep Stan Lee's hands off him.

Doctor Strange has never had long hair. He should try it some time.

Cate Blanchett plays the role of Hela. I've always liked her as an actress, but I considered her appearance plain. But what's happened to her now? She's 47 years old, and this is the sexiest she's ever looked.

Maybe it's just me. I like women to look dark and evil. If makeup and hair dye can achieve this look, all women should do it. It would make the world a much more beautiful place.

I'm not so enthusiastic about her headgear that out-maleficents Maleficient, but her skin-tight outfit is incredibly sexy, and the double swords round off her look.

Hela deserves to wear the Infinity Gauntlet. It's a shame it's a fake.

Hela's face is beautiful when she smiles...

but she's even more beautiful when she scowls...

and best of all is her mean, mocking laugh.

"Thor: Ragnarok" uses the incredible "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin. It's played twice, at the beginning and during the final credits. This is a much better song than "Brandy" in "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2". There were a few super-groups at the beginning of the 1970's. Rock music was made with a fever that was previously unknown. Many consider Led Zeppelin to have been the best of these groups.

---

Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow.
Hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new land
To fight the hordes and sing and cry
"Valhalla, I am coming".

Always sweep with threshing oar,
Our only goal will be the western shore.

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow.
How soft your fields so green. Can whisper tales of gore,
Of how we calmed the tides of war.
We are your overlords.

Always sweep with threshing oar,
Our only goal will be the western shore.

So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
For peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing.

Success Rate:  + 2.7

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Monuments Men (3 Stars)

I missed this when it was in the cinema. I remember being interested in it after seeing the trailer. It was probably a scheduling problem. I almost wouldn't have bought it on disc, but when I saw it on sale for three Euros on Black Friday I couldn't say No.

The trailer makes the film look like a comedy. That's misleading. The film does have some comedic elements, but overall it's a serious drama. It might look comical that someone as overweight as John Goodman or as old as Bill Murray should go to war, but it all makes sense. The film is a true story, but the number of characters has been greatly reduced. The actual World War Two team, the Monuments Men, was made up of a few dozen men, but the film reduces the team to seven people, the maximum that the audience can relate to.

The film is all about art, mainly paintings and statues. During Germany's conquest of Europe the Nazis looted museums and private collections, taking artwork and shipping it back to Germany. In America a team was assembled that would go behind enemy lines to identify works of art and remove them before the Nazis got their hands on them. This team was made up of non-soldiers, all of them art experts, whether they were university professors or museum curators. Towards the end of the war they had to search for the hiding places of artwork that had already been stolen.

The film takes place from July 1944 until May 1945. The team's job wasn't finished when Germany surrendered. They had to carry on hunting for Nazi treasure, because the Russian army had been instructed to take artwork to pay for war reparations. Who could get to it first?

I enjoyed the story on an intellectual level as a tale that I'd never heard of before. As far as the entertainment was concerned, the film didn't excite me. The story moved slowly, with too little action. It also seemed disjointed, because the seven-man team was split into smaller groups operating in different cities. The Blu-ray is worth the three Euros that I paid, but I don't think I'll want to watch it again.

Success Rate:  + 0.2

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Ocean's 8 (4 Stars)

Debbie Ocean, the younger sister of Danny Ocean from the Ocean's Trilogy, is released after spending five years in prison for art fraud. She's spent this time meticulously planning an extravagant jewel robbery in her head. All she needs to do is find a team to help her. She assembles a team of six women with different skills around herself. It's only women, because she doesn't trust men. It was a man who snitched on her and got her thrown into prison. The eighth woman is added late in the film.

The target is a diamong necklace worth $150 million that's been locked in a vault at Cartier in New York for 50 years. They manipulate the host of the yearly Met Gala event into borrowing the necklace to wear at the event. She's accompanied at all times by two armed security guards, but Debbie has everything planned.

This is a very good film about suave and manipulative women who manage to keep their cool while fighting against overwhelming odds. The film takes time to introduce all the characters, and by the middle of the film we're rooting for them and hoping they'll be successful. Sandra Bullock is excellent as the criminal mastermind who doesn't actually take part in the robbery; she just stands back and watches as her team do their jobs.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (3½ Stars)

This is the fourth film in the Indiana Jones series, made with a long gap after the third film. 19 years! Was it necessary to revive the film franchise? That depends on who you ask. It was money in the bank for the film studios. I suspect that there were letters and emails being sent for years begging Steven Spielberg to do it again.

Does it still have the magic of the old films? Sort of. Steven Spielberg has never made a bad film. In my eyes he's the most reliable film director who has ever lived. He knows how to make films, he follows the required steps and he makes a quality film every time. However, he never takes risks. By avoiding risks he doesn't make the truly great films like Quentin Tarantino, but if he took risks he might make the occasional bad film. We need a Steven Spielberg who's consistently good. We also need the risk-takers who occasionally create works of brilliance.

As for "Crystal Skull" itself (I prefer to abbreviate the film title), it's a fun adventure. Harrison Ford travels round the world -- this time to South America -- to prevent mystical archaeological artefacts from falling into the hands of evil empires. In the previous three films the enemies were the Nazis. In "Crystal Skull" the enemies are the Russians. When the film was made there were criticisms from Russia that Russia was demonised, as if all Russians were evil. So what? The film is set in 1957, at the height of the Cold War, and Russia was generally regarded as the world's Evil Empire.

The main representative of the Evil Empire is Irina Spalko, played admirably by Cate Blanchett. She's dressed in an unflattering grey suit, more typical of Chinese Communism than Russian Communism, but the very unsexiness of her outfit makes it bizarrely appealing. She's a caricature, much like the villains of the early James Bond films. All that's missing is a ridiculous name, but Steven Spielberg doesn't do that. That's a shame. She could have been called Irina Spankyu.

An unusual aspect in this film is that instead of dealing with only mystical artefacts there are aliens involved, making this the first Indiana Jones science fiction film. The crystal skull in the title is the real skull of a visitor from another planet.

I've decided to give the film a relatively low rating because of my personal reaction to the film. It ticked all the boxes, I couldn't find any fault with it, but while watching it I found myself getting bored. I'm used to the Spielberg style, so it seemed too smooth and too predictable to me. I doubt I'll watch it again. Maybe, maybe not.

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Thor: Ragnarok (4½ Stars)

Every new film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) is a cause for excitement. I can almost forgive Marvel Studios for messing up the stories by mixing old comics events and characters (from the 1960's) with new events (from the 2000's). As an old school Marvel geek I'd prefer the films to be based on the silver age stories when Marvel was Marvel, maybe with a few elements from the bronze age stories mixed in. Any complaints that I have about the film are based on deviations from the comics.

The first problem that I have with the film is the excess of comical remarks coming from Thor's mouth in the early scenes. He's one of the most serious Marvel heroes. Did he ever tell a single joke in the comics? None that I can remember.

The next problem is the apparent superiority of Doctor Strange over Loki, easily overwhelming him with a single spell. In the comics Loki is far more powerful because he's a God, whereas Doctor Strange is only a mortal. We saw this most clearly in Strange Tales #123, published in August 1964.

This is clearly a result of Marvel Studios scaling down the power of the Asgardians in the films. In the comics they are Gods, even if it's never clearly explained what Gods are. In the films we're told early on that they aren't Gods, they're just aliens from another planet who were mistaken for Gods when they revealed themselves in Norway a few thousand years ago. Why does Marvel do that? Is Marvel afraid of insulting the Good Christian People of America.

I'll stop there. Any other criticisms I might make would give away spoilers.

"Thor: Ragnarok" is a good film. I just think it could be better by sticking closer to the original Marvel comics.

The Gift (2000) (5 Stars)

This film is a masterpiece. It was a box office success, even though the critics slammed it, once again proving that film critics have lost touch with what the public wants to see.

It's a slow-moving gothic horror story, relying on a steady build up of suspense rather than artificial jumps. Today I noticed for the first time that the film's main character, Annie Wilson, is reading "Wuthering Heights" when she goes to bed. Knowing that, I can see the inspiration. Like "Wuthering Heights", "The Gift" is an old-fashioned tale that takes place in an old-fashioned world. Small-town Georgia is a place that has been ignored by modern developments. It's not just the technological developments, the town has also missed out on social developments. They live in the past. The local newspaper, the "Brixton Daily Record", proclaims that it's "Hatcher County's only newspaper since 1908", as if that were something to be proud of. I pity the people who have to live in towns like that.

The film's strength is in the characters. Everyone we see is an archetype of the inhabitants of small town societies. I've never had the misfortune to live in a town like Brixton, Georgia, but I can easily recognise the characters.

Keanu Reeves is the town's racist Christian wife-beater. I don't usually like him as an actor, but he's compelling as the despicable bad guy. He should play the bad guy more often.

J. K. Simmons is the small town sheriff. He's a good man, but not too bright. This was the first film I ever saw him in, and I've been his fan ever since.

Here is Giovanni Ribisi, the town's car mechanic, sitting happily in Sam Raimi's car. It's appeared in so many films that it should have its own IMDB page.

Something else that I noticed today for the first time is how often the film shows close ups of Cate Blanchett's face. It could be argued that the cameraman, the cinematographer, the director or all three of them are in love with her face. On my previous viewings I've always concentrated on Katie Holmes, someone I've long found attractive, but today I followed the camera's lead and gazed at Cate Blanchett. I don't think I've ever realised before today how beautiful she is. Take a look at the following screenshots from the film and tell me what you think..

There are so many other close ups of her face during the film, far more than I've shown here. It's as if the camera is caressing her face. It's not just her looks that I find appealing. There's such a depth of emotion in every facial expression. In future I'll pay more attention to her.

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