Scream and scream again (2 Stars)

I've known about this film for years, but I've been hesitant to watch it for now. I'd heard rumours that it was an awful film, one of the contenders for the "Worst Film Ever Made" award. Why should I believe everything I hear? After all, a film that stars Christoper Lee, Peter Cushing and Vincent Price can't possibly be bad. Can it?

Unfortunately, it can.

The problem isn't with the acting abilities of the three great stars of horror movies. It's the chaotic script. The story is told so badly that the film should be used in film schools as an example of what not to do.

In the opening scenes a jogger collapses in London. He wakes up in hospital, and one of his legs has been amputated. A creepy looking nurse gives him an injection. When he wakes up his other leg has gone. And the next time he wakes up his arms have also been removed.

That's it. We never see the man again. We don't see the nurse until ahe appears as a thief an hour later, and my reaction was "Huh? What's she doing here?"

There are a few scenes at the beginning set in a totalitarian Eastern European country. A couple are on the run. The army shoots the man. The two of them are tortured. When a general complains about the torture, a man, some sort of diplomat, gives him a Vulcan Death Grip, and he's dead. Not just stunned like in the Star Trek series. Completely dead. What was all that about? We have to wait over an hour to find out.

Then the main story begins. A serial killer is murdering young women in London. For about 45 minutes the police are on his trail. When they finally catch him, he jumps into a vat of acid. Oops. Now what's happening?

In the last 10 minutes of the film all the threads are tied together. It all makes sense. Everything was relevant. But it's very unsatisfying that we have to wait so long. I was sitting through the whole film puzzled by the man losing his arms and legs. When I finally found out what had happened I wished that the opening scenes had been left out altogether. They were unnecessary.

Vincent Price.

Peter Cushing.

Christopher Lee.

Three great actors. One awful film.

Don't let anyone tell you that it's so bad that it's good. It isn't. It's just bad.

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