Sunday, 3 September 2023

Thunderbirds 1.01 - Trapped in the Sky


Thunderbirds! They were a part of my life when I was growing up. It was a puppet series made by Gerry Anderson. He'd made three previous series of varying quality, but "Thunderbirds" was his masterpiece. The opening sequence has been embedded in my brain:

"Five... Four... Three... Two... One... Thunderbirds are go!"






I don't remember the exact time, but it was broadcast relatively early on Thursday evening, so I had to rush home from school. In alternate weeks I watched it alone or with my school friend Richard Lee, who lived in the same street as me. He wasn't always allowed to watch it at home, because his sister watched a programme on the other channel. I say "the other" because BBC 2 had only recently been launched and most television sets couldn't receive it, so there were only two channels to choose from: BBC and ITV. Thunderbirds was broadcast on ITV.


The setting is a private island in the South Pacific that belongs to the ex-astronaut Jeff Tracy. He lives with his five sons, Scott, Virgil, Alan, Gordon and John, as well as his mother, a scientific genius nicknamed Brains, a servant called Kyrano and Kyrano's daughter Tin-Tin. Together they run an organisation called International Rescue that operates throughout the world.






Although John is listed as the space monitor, he alternates the service on the space station with his brother Alan.


Jeff Tracy isn't given a place in the title sequence.


Instead, we see Lady Penelope, an English woman who acts as an undercover agent for International Rescue. What's bad about her is that she's always carrying a cigarette. What's good about her is that it's never lit. She drives a beautiful pink Rolls Royce.


The archvillain who appears in about half of the episodes is The Hood. What a great name! He's Kyrano's brother, and he has a psychic link that allows him to hypnotise Kyrano from afar. He's determined to steal the technical secrets of the Thunderbirds vehicles, and he frequently causes accidents to lure International Rescue.

The year is supposedly 2064, a hundred years after the series was first made, but that shouldn't be taken too seriously. Nobody knew what the future would look like. It looks quaintly archaic to see messages being recorded on reel-to-reel tape.

This episode, first broadcast on 30th September 1965, shows the first operation of International Rescue. It's the maiden flight of an atomic powered aircraft from London to Tokyo. The Hood plants a bomb in the plane's landing gear that will detonate when the plane lands. The plane returns to London, but it has to circle above the airport.

Thunderbird One is the fastest craft that arrives on the scene first to assess situations. Thunderbird Two carries the necessary equipment for the rescue.


Thunderbird Two has a selection of six pods to load before leaving.


Pod three contains four elevator cars, of which three are needed for the rescue at London Airport. It's not Heathrow, it's a fictional airport in the future.


The elevator cars catch the plane, so it can land without using its landing gear.


To call Gerry Anderson a genius would be an understatement. He was a visionary. Even though he made "Thunderbirds" in 1964, when televisions were in black and white, he decided to film "Thunderbirds" in colour. Was it a waste of money? When it was broadcast in 1965 I could only watch it in black and white. Gerry was investing in the future, for the day when I could hold the vividly coloured Blu-ray discs in my hands.

The series ran for 32 episodes, followed by two feature films. In 2004 a poor quality live action film was made. From 2015 to 2020 there was a well made CGI series that almost lived up to the quality of the original series.

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Saturday, 2 September 2023

The Equalizer 3 (4½ Stars)


This is the third and final film in the Equalizer trilogy. Final? The press releases have called it the final film, but nothing happens in the film itself that can be interpreted as closure. The only reason to stop is that the actor Denzel Washington is 68, which is rather old for an action hero. The films have been made at four-year intervals, so the question is, can he still make action films when he's 72?

Robert McCall is in Sicily doing a favour for a friend. This favour involves killing a crime boss and all of his men. He escapes unscathed, but he's shot in the back by the crime boss's underage son. He drives away, but falls unconscious at the roadside in Naples. A policeman carries him to Enzo, a local doctor who cures him in his own house without asking questions, except for one. He asks Robert if he's just saved a good man or a bad man. Robert replies that he doesn't know, which reassures Enzo. He says that only a good man would give such an answer.

Robert needs time to recover, so he settles into the (fictional) town of Altamonte. He doesn't get involved, but he watches everything going on. He sees the Camorra collecting protection money from local shopkeepers. But the Camorra has bigger plans. They want to build large hotels and casinos. They're killing anyone who refuses to sell their property. The police are helpless to stop them.

The only one who can fight back is Robert McCall, when he finally recovers from his injuries.

I never saw the original television series, on which the films are based, but in the films Robert McCall is the coolest killer imaginable. He's always relaxed and laid back, talking calmly to his enemies. He's like a rattlesnake, holding back until he strikes without mercy.

The Mafia and the Camorra are regularly in the real world news. Organised crime is a difficult enemy for politicians and the police. We need a Robert McCall.

Friday, 1 September 2023

Halloween Ends (4 Stars)


I watched "Halloween Kills" just over a month ago. I expected to watch the third film in the final Halloween trilogy sooner, but I was delayed by my holiday and my new computer. Now I'm getting back to normal. Almost.

I didn't know what to make of "Halloween Ends". Despite being frequently mentioned, Michael Myers doesn't appear for more than 30 minutes. It made me feel like the franchise had already ended and I was watching the epilogue.

The last two films took place in 2018. "Halloween Ends" begins in 2019. Michael Myers has disappeared without a trace. A boy called Corey Cunningham is babysitting for the son of a wealthy couple in Haddonfield. The boy plays a prank on Corey, locking him in the attic. He breaks out and accidentally pushes the boy over the railing to his death. Corey is found innocent, but the parents and many people in the town believe he's guilty.

Three years, shortly before Halloween 2022, Corey is captured by Michael Myers, who's been hiding in the sewers beneath Haddonfield all this time. When Michael looks into Corey's eyes he sees him as a fellow killer and releases him. This inspires Corey to carry out deliberate murders on people who have wronged him. He begins a relationship with Allyson Nelson, Laurie Strode's granddaughter. It's a twisted relationship. She's attracted to him because she can see Michael Myers in his eyes. Corey offers to take revenge on those who've harmed Allyson, without explicitly saying it will involve murder, and she accepts his offer.

Michael acts as Corey's mentor, accompanying him on his killing spree, until Corey turns against him and steals his mask.

This is a strange way to end the Halloween trilogy. The film has a different feeling to the previous films. It isn't until the last 15 minutes that it feels like a Halloween film. Excuse the spoiler: Michael Myers is killed in a way that leaves no doubt about his death, so it's the end of the franchise. Or is it? The films have been retconned so often that it will be no surprise to see Michael Myers again. It's the same as James Bond dying in "No Time To Die". He'll be back. We all know he'll be back. And didn't John Wick die in "John Wick 4"? The sequel is already being filmed. It's getting as bad as Marvel comics. They used to say that in Marvel nobody stays dead except for Uncle Ben and Bucky Barnes. Now Bucky is back, and we can't guarantee Uncle Ben will stay dead forever.

Success Rate:  + 1.2

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Masha and the Bear 2.2.1 - La Dolce Vita


This episode was first broadcast on 22nd June 2013. As is often the case, it mixes different themes in a six-minute video.


It's a sunny day in beautiful Russia. Bear is woken up by his alarm clock.


It's a fishing clock that maps out his day.


Bear is about to leave when Masha arrives. She wants him to make her breakfast. Can't she make her own breakfast?


Cornflakes are perfect for a little Russian girl. Yummy!


But she pushes them away.


How about fried egg? 


No. What's wrong with her?


She even refuses a delicious baguette.


It's already getting late, so Bear can't waste any more time.


He grabs the unwanted baguette and runs to the river as fast as he can.


Bear's nemesis, the Black Bear, is just leaving after a successful day of fishing.


According to the clock, which he's keeping strapped to his wrist, fishing is over. But it's still worth a try.


No. It's too late.


At least he can eat the delicious baguette while he's sitting alone,


Eventually he trudges home with his empty bucket. Have you ever seen such a miserable bear?


But what's Masha been doing in Bear's house? She's still hungry, so she goes out into the garden. She picks strawberries, raspberries and apples.


There's sugar in the cupboard, on a high shelf out of her reach. Or so Bear thinks. Masha knows how to use a ladder.


She's an expert cook. Look at the lollipop.


Soon she has dozens, which she quickly eats.


Bear comes home and tells her to clean her teeth.


But there's still one left.


Evidently nobody ever told Masha how to eat lollipops. You shouldn't bite them, you should lick them slowly. Masha bites hard, and her tooth breaks.


Bear suggests pulling it out with his fishing rod.


Masha is scared, but she lets him do it.


No, it doesn't work.


How about attaching the line to his bike?


Round and round his house he rides. Bear is just a blur. But where's Masha?


She's sitting on his bike. All that effort for nothing!


There's only one thing left. Bear carries her, kicking and screaming, to the wolves.


They put her in a dental chair. I'd be scared of those dentists as well.


No anaesthetic.


But it goes surprisingly well. The wolves give her back to Bear, and he's happy with the result. I hope it was one of her milk teeth.


That's a beautiful tooth for the Tooth Fairy. When Masha gets her rouble in the morning she should sell it fast. Vladimir Putin's war against Ukraine has made the rouble's value collapse, and it'll get even worse if Russia doesn't surrender soon.


The next morning Masha finds a few lollipops that Bear hid from her. Has she learnt her lesson?


Not quite. She still bites her lollipops, but she cleans her teeth after every bite. Girls will be girls.

The End.



Sweet Tooth's Song

If all day long I sat and munched on candy
Life would be improved by as much as can be,
It'd be easy as a piece of cake.

Every time I see a truck selling ice-cream
I run up to it very fast, and I scream,
"Give me a zillion billion, give or take!"

They say that soon all my teeth are gonna break
And that I will have a terrible toothache.
No, that's a mistake,
My teeth will not break!

I eat a bunch of lollipops and sucker,
Something in my mouth crumbles down like crackers,
I'm so terrified I cannot cry.

I cracked my tooth and now I need the dentist.
Please, doctor, tell me how big the dent is.
Will I ever smile? What if I try?

Am I to kiss all my greatest hopes goodbye,
That one day I'll eat the biggest apple pie?
Life will pass me by.
Someone, tell me why!

Children, now you know the hard truth,
Here's the whitest pearl of wisdom,
If you wanna keep your sweet tooth,
Get your brushes, clean it with them!

Children, now you know the hard truth,
Here's the whitest pearl of wisdom,
If you wanna keep your sweet tooth,
Get your brushes, clean it with them!