Fantastic Four #62
Title: And one shall save him!
Writer: Stan Lee
Artist: Jack Kirby
Villain: Sandman, Blastaar
Guests: Black Bolt, Medusa, Crystal, Gorgon, Karnak, Triton, Lockjaw
Reed Richards is trapped in the Negative Zone, floating towards the Explosive Zone. That's what it was called last issue. Now it's called the Exploding Area. Don't be too hard on Reed Richards for being too stressed to think up a new name and stick to it.
Crystal reunites with Johnny Storm in the Baxter Building. He tells her what the problem is, so she returns to the other Inhumans to get help. Black Bolt sends Triton to rescue Reed Richards.
When Reed Richards and Triton go back through the portal into the Baxter Building they don't notice that they're being followed by Blastaar, a criminal from another world with explosive fingertips. Blastaar climbs to the roof and finds Sandman, who has been hiding since last issue. They team up to attack the Fantastic Four.
The Crazy Credits continue with Stan Lee's alliterations. The story is contrived and crafted by the curiously creative, catastrophically compelling collaboration of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. Putting it in my own words: "Stan wrote it. Jack drew it". Nuff said!
Amazing Spider-Man #48
Title: The Wings of the Vulture!
Writer: Stan Lee
Artist: John Romita
Villain: Vulture (unnamed), Vulture (Blackie Drago), Kraven (television)
Regulars: Aunt May, Mary Jane Watson, Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborn, J. Jonah Jameson (television)
Here's some more crazy alliteration from Stan Lee in the Crazy Credits. It's an awesome aggregation of airborne thrills". Obviously Stan couldn't think of a synonym for thrill that begins with an A. We also read that Sam Rosen learnedly lettered the comic. Stan couldn't think of a synonym for inadequate that begins with an L. Here's my suggestion: how about saying the comic is lazily lettered? I deserve a gold-plated no-prize for that suggestion, but please don't tell Whammy Sammy it was me who said it.
Smiling Stan can't stop showing off with his alliterations. In this text box he manages to put two sets of alliterations in one sentence. I bet he was unbeatable at Scrabble.
And yes, Spider-Man is suffering from a cold. That's what makes Stan Lee different from every comic book writer before him. Despite their super-powers his super-heroes are normal people with the same weaknesses as you and me.
In this comic there are two Vultures. The Vulture that we last saw in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1 as a member of the Sinister Six is lying on his death bed. He bequeaths his wings to his cellmate, Blackie Drago, who becomes the new Vulture. Normally Spider-Man would have defeated a new, inexperienced criminal more easily, but he's suffering from a bad cold. The Vulture defeats him and leaves Spider-Man lying unconscious on a snow-covered rooftop.
Strange Tales #156
Title: The Tribunal!
Writer: Jim Steranko
Artist: Jim Steranko
Villain: Hydra, Supreme Hydra (Agent Bronson, Baron Von Strucker)
Regulars: Dum Dum Dugan, Gabe Jones, Jasper Sitwell, Laura Brown
Guest Cameos: Fantastic Four (Reed Richards, Susan Richards, Johnny Storm, Ben Grimm)
X-Men (Professor X, Cyclops, Angel, Beast, Iceman, Marvel Girl)
Avengers (Captain America, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, Goliath, Wasp)
Thor, Iron Man, Hulk, Spider-Man, Daredevil
In case you don't believe me that so many heroes make a cameo appearance in this comic, here are the panels to prove it. The Supreme Hydra is broadcasting a threat to the whole world. Jim Steranko probably just wanted to prove to Stan Lee that he can draw every super-hero he wants to. Unfortunately, he's forgotten Quicksilver. Jolly Jack Kirby must have been out of the office, because he would have told Jim to start again.
Jasper Sitwell shows Dum Dum Dugan and Gabe Jones new SHIELD weapons, which gives Jim Steranko the opportunity to show off his skills as an artist. He's incredible. Every page in this story is stunningly beautiful.
Agent Bronson (who's really the Supreme Hydra) leaves the SHIELD heli-carrier to transport Laura Brown to a safe location where she can receive medical treatment. He actually flies to Hydra's headquarters in the Pacific, Hydra Island. He travels in a new aircraft built by Tony Stark, the Dyna-Soar. That's not one of Jim Steranko's best inventions. There's a difference between a gadget's name being corny and downright silly. Luckily he makes up for it by presenting the Alpha-Tron and the Death Spore later in the story. Those are the sort of corny names I like.
Before leaving, Agent Bronson leaves a bomb in Nick Fury's quarters. When it explodes everyone thinks he's dead, but he's hidden himself in the Dyna-Soar – I really hate that name! – and takes on the surrounding Hydra agents when he arrives. He's not tough enough to defeat a whole island with thousands of heavily armed fighters – only Sylvester Stallone can do that – so eventually he's captured. At the end of the story the Supreme Hydra unveils his true identity. He's Baron Strucker, one of Nick Fury's biggest enemies in World War Two.
The Crazy Credits say that Sam Rosen letters in front of the TV. I doubt that. It would be too distracting, even for a man with Sam's steady hand. Maybe he listens to music while he works. He must have been a fan of the Beatles.
Title: Umar walks the Earth!
Writer: Stan Lee
Artist: Marie Severin
Villain: Umar, Zom
Regulars: Ancient One, Wong
As is typical for Marie Severin in her first few months at Marvel, her artwork on the cover and the splash page is excellent, but the quality deteriorates in the smaller panels. She'll improve as time goes by, I promise you.
Umar is on Earth and seems more interested in destroying the Earth than conquering it. The Ancient One sends Doctor Strange to awaken a trapped being called Zom, the only one with enough power to defeat Umar. In the meantime the Ancient One challenges Umar to a battle at Stonehenge to slow her down.
We read about two battles in the past that we haven't seen in the comics.
The Ancient One once defeated Dormammu at Stonehenge.
Dormammu once bound Zom's hands so that Eternity could imprison him. So Dormammu and Eternity once worked together? That's fascinating.
Doctor Strange uses one of his standard spells, written by the Master Poet Stan Lee himself.
When Zom arrives at Stonehenge Umar flees. Zom threatens to destroy everyone he sees, so it seems that one threat has been replaced by a greater one.
Tales of Suspense #89
Title: The Monstrous Menace of the Mysterious Melter!
Writer: Stan Lee
Artist: Gene Colan
Villain: Melter
Regulars: Happy Hogan, Pepper Potts
After the destruction of Tony Stark's main factory by the Mole Man, Tony Stark is already involved in building a replacement.
Thinking that Pepper Potts is in love with Happy Hogan, Tony decides to distract himself. For weeks he dates a different woman every day. It's all platonic, unfortunately. His metal chest plate prevents him getting intimate with any of his dates. The most he can do with any woman is go out for a meal, followed by slow dancing and passionate whispers in one another's ear. After that he has to go bed feeling frustrated. It's a hard life being a super-hero.
The Melter escapes from prison. He wants the secret of Tony Stark's miniature transistors so that he can make his weapons smaller. As is to be expected, going to Tony Stark's factory attracts Iron Man's attention. After a brief fight Iron Man has to flee because his armour has been partially melted. He changes back to Tony Stark, and minutes later the Melter arrives.
We last saw the Melter in the utterly chaotic Fantastic Four Annual #3. Before that we saw him in Avengers #16 as one of the Masters of Evil.
Title: Back from the Dead!
Writer: Stan Lee
Artist: Gil Kane
Villain: Red Skull
The Red Skull tells Captain America how he survived falling into the sea in Tales Of Suspense #81. Then the fight begins. Bucky Barnes returns from the dead to attack Captain America, but he's really a robot built by the Red Skull. At the end of the story Captain America is trapped between walls that are sliding together.
The Crazy Credits tell us that Irving Forbush did the kibitzing. That's what he does best.
Tales to Astonish #91
Title: Outside the Gates waits Death!
Writer: Stan Lee
Artist: Bill Everett
Villain: Byrrah, Krang, Attuma
Regulars: Dorma, Vashti
After becoming the new lord of Atlantis Byrrah makes peace with Attuma and Warlord Krang. Prince Namor is exiled to the Inferno Isle, where he faces a creature made of molten lava. That's not as bad as it sounds, at least not for Namor. When the creature goes in the water he dissolves.
Lady Dorma discovers that the citizens of Atlantis only chose Byrrah as their ruler because they were under the influence of a Hypno Ray. She reverses the effects, and the people are loyal to Namor once more. Byrrah is banished from Atlantis. Krang and Attuma flee.
Title: Whosoever harms the Hulk!
Writer: Stan Lee
Artist: Gil Kane
Villain: Stranger, Abomination
Regulars: General Ross, Major Talbot, Betty Ross, Rick Jones
The Hulk has been badly injured in the battle with the Abomination. He's barely conscious, and the army doctors can't revive him. Rick Jones tells them that he can be revived with gamma electrodes. When he comes to he's unwilling to help until he's told that the Abomination has kidnapped Betty Ross.
The Hulk attacks the Abomination, but they're too evenly matched for either one to win the fight. The Stranger, watching from space, decides to take the Abomination as a replacement for the Hulk. So we'll never see him again. Or will we?
The Crazy Credits feature more Stan Lee alliterations. The story is a power-packed plethora of pulsating perils. At least this time he's used words I understand.
Thor #140
Title: The Growing Man!
Writer: Stan Lee
Artist: Jack Kirby
Villain: Kang, Growing Man
Regulars: Odin, Sif
After the celebration of the victory over the Trolls Thor says he wants to return to Earth to guard it from danger.
Sif wants to go with him, but he tells her it's man's work. Are all Asgardian Gods such misogynists?
Sif tries to reason with Thor, reminding him that she's been a valiant fighter. In reply he holds a speech that must be one of the low points of the 1960's comics:
"I beg thee, maiden, think not ill of Thor. I go, but I return. And thou must duly wait. So it is ever with warrior and with maiden".
Read that sentence a few times. Let it sink in. Men go on men's business, and the woman must wait. She's ordered to wait, she has no choice. The only defence for this disgusting attitude is that it's the way it's always been.
Sif should never have put up with this. She should kiss him passionately, as if agreeing, then challenge him to a duel while he's still shaking. After her easy victory she should rip his clothes off and leave him standing naked with his hammer in his hand. Then they can have a long, hard discussion about what women should and shouldn't do.
But Sif doesn't do this. She lets him go back to Earth by himself. She really needs to find herself a better boyfriend.
Back on Earth a small doll is found that grows to human size overnight. It begins to fight with people, growing larger all the time. It was hidden in the 20th Century by Kang the Conqueror, who we last saw in Avengers #24, so that he can use it against his enemies in the 40th Century. Now that it's been discovered he's changed his mind and wants to take it with him to the 40th Century immediately. He threatens Thor that he'll return to the 20th Century later.
Kang says that after defeating his enemies in the 40th Century he'll return to the 20th Century and wipe out the human race. Am I the only person who sees a problem with this plan?
The Crazy Credits present another example of Stan Lee's alliterations. The story has been conceived and created by the noblest collaborative combo in comicdom. Couldn't he think of a synonym for noble that begins with a C? He could have said something else, for instance the coolest collaborative combo, etc. I'm getting good at this alliteration stuff. I just need to practice.
Title: The Battle Begins!
Writer: Stan Lee
Artist: Jack Kirby
Gods: Thor, Fandrel, Hogun, Volstagg
Thor and the Warriors Three fight Mogul's guard, the Jinni Devil. His weakness is that he loses his strength at night, so he has to retreat when he can't win a fast victory. The Asgardians continue on to face Mogul himself.
The Avengers #40
Title: Suddenly the Sub-Mariner!
Writer: Roy Thomas
Artist: Don Heck
Avengers: Captain America, Hawkeye, Goliath, Wasp, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch
Villain: Sub-Mariner, Mole Man
Regulars: Black Widow, Hercules
Guests: General Ross, Vashti
This story is slightly out of sync. It takes place at the same time as Tales Of Suspense #90, which won't be released until next month.
The Scarlet Witch passes out as an effect of her battle with the Mad Thinker in the last issue. She needs to spend some time in bed resting.
The press is accusing Captain America of being a traitor. He contacts his fellow Avengers to tell them it isn't true, and he advises them to find the Cosmic Cube, which the Red Skull dropped in the sea in Tales Of Suspense #81. Quicksilver remains behind to look after his sister, so only Hawkeye, Goliath and the Wasp go to look for the Cube, accompanied by Hercules.
An American submarine has been firing missiles to clear the sea bed. Prince Namor has trapped the submarine, and now reinforcements are on the way. He's waiting to attack them when the Avengers arrive. Hercules tells Namor to hand over the Cosmic Cube immediately. He has never heard of it, so he sends the deep sea fish to search for it. When they find it for him he is able to do anything. He's wearing the Cube as a pendant round his neck. The Wasp breaks the chain, and the Cosmic Cube falls into a crevice where it can't be found. Prince Namor returns to the sea.
The Mole Man finds the Cosmic Cube, but he throws it away as a worthless trinket.
X-Men #32
Title: Beware the Juggernaut, my Son!
Writer: Roy Thomas
Artist: Werner Roth
X-Men: Cyclops, Angel, Beast, Iceman, Marvel Girl
Villain: Juggernaut
Regulars: Professor X, Vera, Zelda, Candy Southern
It's Bobby Drake's 18th birthday, so he's celebrating at the world famous Coffee a Go-Go. World famous? Of course! It's known everywhere that X-Men comics are sold.
The party is gatecrashed by some unwanted guests on motorbike. The X-Men manage to subtly defeat them without giving away their secret identities.
Professor X has been keeping his half-brother Cain Marko subdued in the cellar for months. He wants to cure him of the curse of Cyttorak, although I've never understood how a scientific machine can counteract a mystical spell. Finally Professor X and his brother sit together in the machine, but there's an explosion that destroys the machine and frees Cain Marko, allowing him to become the Juggernaut once more. A side effect of the accident is that the Juggernaut now has Professor X's mental powers.
When the X-Men return the Juggernaut defeats them. He receives a mental message from the group Factor Three, telling him that they caused the explosion that freed him. They want him to take a plane to Europe, and he agrees.
The Juggernaut was last seen in X-Men #13.
The Crazy Credits tell us that Irving Forbush did the catering for the birthday party.
Daredevil #28
Title: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's planet!
Writer: Stan Lee
Artist: Gene Colan
Villain: aliens
Regulars: Foggy Nelson, Karen Page
This story opens with Mike Murdock sitting in the law office playing instead of Matt Murdock sitting at his desk working. The split personality is running out of control.
Matt is invited to hold a speech at Carter College, presumably a fictional university, about the legal problems of aliens visiting the Earth. Here's a brief excerpt from his speech:
"Only the law stands between justice and total anarchy. And that law must offer equitable protection to all, regardless of race, creed or colour. Now, in this age of space exploration we may need a fourth qualification: without regard to planet of origin, as well. But there is always the possibility that visitors from space may have different standards or values, a different moral code. Our present laws may not always apply".
I don't know how Matt Murdock is able to keep a straight face while talking this rubbish. Minutes later a spaceship lands containing giant green lizards who want to ravage the Earth, removing all its minerals. They don't need to use force. They have a ray that makes everyone on Earth blind.
Daredevil defeats them, of course, and then returns to the college to complete his speech as Matt Murdock. Doesn't he feel like a fool now? Is he offering legal defence to the aliens? Their moral code allows them to make everyone on a planet blind and rob them of what they need to live, so does that make them innocent? Matt should think twice before holding silly speeches like this in future.
Other comics published this month:
Millie the Model #149 (Dennis O'Neil, Stan Goldberg)
Kid Colt Outlaw #134 (Dennis O'Neil, Herb Trimpe)
Two Gun Kid #87 (Ron Whyte, Ogden Whitney)
Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos #42 (Gary Friedrich, Dick Ayers)
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