Rome 1.11 - The Spoils

This episode begins a short while after the previous episode. Days? Weeks? At the end of the last episode Pullo was offered a job by the crime lord and money lender Erastes Fulmen. Pullo has evidently accepted the job. We see him murdering a man on the streets of Rome at night. Erastes chides Pullo for making a noise, chasing the man through the streets, so he promises to be quieter next time. This is in complete contrast to the way Vorenus worked for Erastes in the fifth episode. Vorenus has a conscience; Pullo doesn't. Pullo spends his wages on prostitutes and opium.

Vorenus is carrying out his duties as a magistrate. He's visited by Roman citizens who need aid. Mascius, a former captain in Caesar's army, approaches Vorenus to speak on behalf of his fellow veterans. After years of fighting for Caesar, they want farmland in Italy. Vorenus passes on this request to Caesar, who says that there isn't enough free land in Italy for all the army veterans. Her offers to give them land in Pannonia, a province north-east of Italy. It's good farming land, but Vorenus says that the veterans won't accept it because there are a lot of bandits. Caesar says that Mascius should be offered money to recommend the land to the other veterans, any amount that Vorenus considers reasonable.

Vorenus offers Mascius 5,000 denarii, but Mascius says he would never sell out his fellow soldiers. After thinking it over, he asks for 12,000 denarii. Caesar is delighted. He says that he never expected Mascius to sell himself so cheap. In future he'll always send Vorenus to negotiate bribes.

Caesar has placed a chair for himself in the middle of the Senate. The others call it a throne, but he claims it's just a comfortable chair so that he won't get back pains while listening to Cicero's long speeches. The chair is moderately gilded with gold. Does that also help prevent back pain?

Caesar offers Brutus a job as the governor of Macedonia. Brutus refuses, because it sounds like Caesar is trying to get him away from Rome. Caesar insists and orders Brutus to take the position. Brutus storms out in anger.

Pullo has another job for Erastes. He kills Aufifidius Dento, the deputy chief of the Nailmakers' Association. The murder is witnessed, and he's arrested. Octavian asks Caesar to pardon him, but Caesar refuses. He says that Aufidius was popular and a vocal critic of Caesar's leadership. If Pullo is pardoned, people will suspect that Caesar ordered his death. Octavian openly asks if Caesar did order his death, to which Caesar replies that he didn't know that Aufidius existed until he didn't.

Pullo is sentenced to death in the arena. Three gladiators are sent to fight with him, but he refuses to defend himself. They say that it's enough for him to hold his sword, but he still refuses. They mock him and ask if all of the 13th Legion are so cowardly. This makes him angry, and he kills all three. He chants "Thirteenth! Thirteenth!", which is echoed by the crowd. Another four gladiators come out, and Pullo kills them as well. The crowd cheers enthusiastically.

A final gladiator comes out, probably the champion, much bigger and stronger than Pullo. He knocks Pullo down and prepares to kill him, when Vorenus jumps into the arena. Shouting "Thirteenth!" he attacks and kills the gladiator. Under Roman law, Pullo is now a free man.

Before the episode ends Caesar's slave Posca delivers a large bag of coins to Erastes. He thanks him for killing Aufidius, but tells him that in future army veterans shouldn't be used as killers.

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The Critic (4 Stars)

This is a film with a delayed release in Germany. It was made in 2023, and it's already available on disc in England.

"The Critic" takes place in London in 1934. The central character is Jimmy Erskine (Ian McKellen), a feared theatre critic. He's always in the audience on the opening night of every new play. He sits at his typewriter until late in the night, so that his review can appear in the Daily Chronicle the following morning. There's nothing wrong with a person stating his opinion about a play. I'm fast to criticise any film that I don't like. What's different about Jimmy Erskine is that he veers into personal insults.

In his private life Erskine is a homosexual. Before you say that there's nothing wrong with homosexuality, remember the year. It was considered a crime. Erskine takes part in drunken orgies and is arrested. His employer, Viscount Brooke, uses his influence to get him out of jail, but he fires Erskine the next day so that the scandal doesn't harm the newspaper's reputation. Erskine wants his job back. He wants to blackmail the viscount, so he arranges for the young actress Nina Land (Gemma Arterton) to seduce him in exchange for Erskine promising to write good reviews of all her future ways.

The 1930's were dark years, but the film brightens up the era with colourful characters. Ian McKellen shows off his acting skills in his portrayal of a bad guy with no redeeming features.

Mickey 17 (3 Stars)

Normally I try to avoid knowing too much about a film before going to see it in the cinema. I never watch trailers at home before going to the cinema. I often see trailers in the cinema for upcoming films, but in most cases they don't give away too much information. This was an exception. The trailer gives away so much of the plot that while watching the film today I breathed a sigh of relief every time something happened that wasn't in the trailer.

A spaceship is leaving Earth to colonise a new planet called Niflheim. Mickey Barnes is desperate to leave Earth, because he's being hunted by a loan shark. There are hundreds of applicants for positions on the space ship, so Mickey applies to become an Expendable. He doesn't know what it is, but he's been tipped off that it's a job nobody wants.

On the ship he finds out that an Expendable is someone doing dangerous work who's expected to die. And he does die. But there's a cloning technique to bring him back to life for his next job. He dies over and over again. When his 17th iteration goes missing it's assumed that he's dead, but he shows up again to meet Mickey 18.

Multiples aren't allowed. This is an idea that's been copied from the film "Dual". The difference is that in "Dual" only one of the multiples has to die, whereas in "Mickey 17" both multiples have to die.

The film's greatest strength is the acting by Robert Pattinson. He's fast becoming one of my favourite actors. He's come a long way since being a dopey vampire in "Twilight". The film's greatest weakness is the annoying stupidity of the character played by Mark Ruffalo. He's supposed to be funny, but he just made me grown. There are other things I don't like which I can't discuss because they're spoilers, things not shown in the trailer. The film has a lot of promise, but the overall impression is disappointing.

Unknown (5 Stars)

This is one of the most exciting films I've ever seen. It's a perfect mix of action, suspense and mystery. I can't believe that I've waited 13 years before watching it again. How could I forget a film like this?

Dr. Martin Harris, an American biotechnology professor played by Liam Neeson, travels to Berlin with his wife for a scientific conference. On arriving at the hotel he realises that he forgot to pick up one of his suitcases from the airport, so he leaves his wife behind to take a taxi back to the airport. On the way he's involved in a traffic accident and is in a coma for four days. He returns to the hotel as quickly as possible. His wife doesn't recognise him. She's in the company of another man who claims to be her husband. He can't prove who he is because he lost all his papers in the accident. The stranger doesn't just have papers to prove who he is, he also knows all about his scientific work.

Eventually Martin begins to think he's crazy and returns to the hospital for treatment, but while he's there someone tries to kill him, and even kills the nurse who tries to protect him. This makes him sure that something is happening, so he hires a private detective to prove that he really is who he thinks he is.

Although the film is in English, most of the cast are top German actors such as Bruno Ganz, Sebastian Koch and Diane Kruger. This is a brilliant film, and the final explanation will come as a a total surprise. The viewers will also feel the terror of being lost in a foreign country with no identification and being denied by your wife and friends.

Success Rate:  + 2.5

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Paddington in Peru (4 Stars)

This is the third film in the Paddington series. Can it be considered the final part in a trilogy? Yes and No. It doesn't round off any open threads from the previous films, which is a No. But it goes back to Paddington's origins, which is a Yes. So make your mind up.

Paddington has settled into his new home in London. He even has a British passport, although he has no reason to leave the country. One day he receives a letter from the Home For Retired Bears in Peru, telling him his Aunt Lucy wants to see him. I don't remember her being mentioned in the previous films, but a flashback tells him that she's the bear who rescued him when he fell into a stream as a child. He was separated from his parents, so she brought him up as her own child.

Paddington sets off to visit her with the Brown family. If you don't know who they are, go back and watch the first two films! On arriving in Peru, he's told that Lucy has gone on a journey. This is suspicious, because she's left her glasses behind. Foul play is suspected.

Together with the Reverend Mother who leads the Retirement Home, Paddington and his friends head into the jungle after hiring a boat from a devious sailor.

Olivia Colman looks like the role as Reverend Mother was written for her. I've tagged the film as a musical because she occasionally breaks into song, leading the other nuns to dance around her.

I had difficulty rating the film. The scenery is spectacular. It was filmed in Colombia, not Peru itself, but it looks realistic enough. I can't tell the difference. Can you? Despite frequent slapstick sequences, I didn't find it particularly funny. I glanced sideways and saw that Oliver also didn't laugh much, although he told me later that he'd enjoyed the film.

This was my first visit to the Metropol cinema since it changed owners. It used to belong to the Innenstadt cinemas, but it closed in December 2020 due to the Corona pandemic. It reopened in October 2024 as part of the Traumpalast group. When the cinema closed it wasn't expected to reopen as a cinema, so the building's owner demanded that the seats be removed. This was unfortunate, because it delayed the reopening while new seats were installed. The Traumpalast made the most of it by installing luxurious seats, better than the old seats.

The Seed of the Sacred Fig (4 Stars)

If you watched the Oscars at the weekend, you might have noticed something curious. A German film was nominated in the category Best International Feature, i.e. best film in a language other than English; and yet the film wasn't in German, not a single word. It was in Farsi, also called Persian, the language spoken in Iran. Most of the film takes place in Teheran, Iran's capital. What's the story behind it?

Note: Teheran is the British spelling of Iran's capital. In American English it's called Tehran.

The film was made in 2024 in Iran by the director Mohammad Rasoulof. It's about the family of Imam, a lawyer in Teheran. After working for 20 years as a lawyer, he's promoted to the position of investigating judge in the Revolutionary Court. This allows him to rent a larger apartment, making it possible for his two daughters to sleep in separate rooms. Rezvan is a university student. Sana is a few years younger, but there's no reference to her being in school.

Despite being unhappy that he's only allowed to pass the sentences recommended by the government, Imam is faithful to the Iranian regime. His daughters are rebellious, sympathising with the demonstrations about the murder of Mahsa Amini (2022) for not covering her head in public. Imam's wife attempts to keep the peace in the family.

Imam is given a gun to protect himself. He carries it to and from work every day. One day the gun disappears from his apartment. He suspects that someone in his family has taken it, but they all suggest that he's lost it. This leads to an atmosphere of paranoia. Nobody trusts anybody.

Can a film with subject matter like this be made in Iran? Obviously not. The director went into hiding and was sentenced to eight years in prison in his absence. He managed to take refuge in a German consulate. From there he was smuggled out of the country. As far as I know, he now lives in Hamburg, but this might not be his final destination.

When he travelled to Germany, he smuggled the film's raw footage with him. It was edited in German studios. This is what's given the film the right to be called a German film.

It's a very powerful family drama. The political aspects are frequently discussed, but the family relationships are in the foreground. My only criticism is that the pacing is too slow, and the film could have been 30 minutes shorter without losing anything.

Alienoid (5 Stars)

This is a South Korean time travel science fiction film. The premise is that a distant alien race brings its criminals to Earth. They're a highly civilised race that has abolished the death penalty, so they trap the aliens in human hosts. The humans are unaware that they're carrying aliens in their bodies. When the human dies of old age or any other reason, the alien also dies. It's all so civilised. Some aliens are able to escape from their human host, but Earth's atmosphere is poisonous to them, so they return to their host within a few minutes.

The alien prisoners arrive in waves. A large number of aliens were deposited into human hosts in 1380 AD. In 2012 AD a pair of robots, Guard and Thunder, are waiting for the next delivery. They find out that a powerful alien in 1380 has managed to take control of his host, so they go back in time to capture it. That might sound confusing, but they give a simple explanation. "Time doesn't run in a straight line. Everything happens at the same time". I'm sure Doctor Who would have something to say about that.

The human host (a woman) dies, but she asks the robots to take care of her young daughter. Thunder takes the girl back to 2012, against the wishes of Guard. Over the next 10 years the girl, Yi-An, lives with Guard, who's disguised himself as a man. He claims to be her human father, but she overhears him talking with Thunder, who's disguised himself as the family car.

Then the next batch of alien prisoners arrives, and chaos breaks out.

There are lots more twists and turns in the plot. I don't want to say too much, except to say that this is a brilliant film. It's the equal of anything that's been made in Hollywood. Aliens, sorcery, martial arts. The film has it all.

"Alienoid" is the first film in a two-part story. I already watched the second part out of order. I intend to watch it again soon.

Success Rate:  - 1.8

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Rome 1.10 - Triumph

The wars are over. Several wars, that fall into two categories. First Julius Caesar conquered enemy nations, most notably Gaul. Then he had to fight against his enemies within Rome, in particular Pompey. Now Rome is at peace. Now Caesar stands triumphant. He wants to consolidate his power. In the last episode he claimed that this was only a temporary measure until he restored the Republic. We shall never know whether or not this was his honest intention. In the Senate he asked to be made dictator. Forgetting the modern negative connotations, in the Roman constitution a dictator was a person given absolute power for a limited period of time. The usual time limit for a dictator was six months, but Caesar asked to be made dictator for ten years in order to put right the chaotic aftermath of the civil war.

Caesar's dictatorship is proposed by Cicero, the last person I would have expected to speak on Caesar's behalf. Cicero was a passionate supporter of the Republic, and he took Pompey's side in the war against Caesar. He received a full pardon when he left Pompey after the Battle of Pharsalus. Is he now showing gratitude to his old enemy?

The motion is seconded by Brutus, who's sitting on Cicero's left. He's a more complicated figure. He's always been a close friend of Caesar, but he took Pompey's side in the civil war on moral grounds. Caesar also welcomed him with open arms after the Battle of Pharsalus.

On the recommendation of these two men, the Senate accepts the motion unanimously. Caesar holds the following speech:

"Many of you here today fought against me. Many of you wished me dead. Many of you perhaps still do. But I hold no grudges and seek no revenge. I demand only this: that you join with me in building a new Rome, a Rome that offers justice, peace and land to all its citizens, not just the privileged few. Support me in this task, and old divisions will be forgotten. Oppose me, and Rome will not forgive you a second time. Senators! The war is over!"

After this Caesar declares a triumph will be held, a five-day celebration. The following proclamation is made:

"Tables for 5000 men will be set up in the cattle forum. Slaves and freedmen are not eligible. Those citizens that cannot find a proper seating place must leave when ordered by the civic officers. Gaius Julius Caesar has decreed, in tribute to their virtue,  each and every citizen of Rome will be issued from the public treasury the sum of 100 denarii. Further, 20,000 deserving families will be given farms on the public lands around Capua. Further, for the coming year all rents on low dwellings in the city will be paid in full by Gaius Julius Caesar".

This generosity must have won the support of anyone in Rome who still doubted Caesar. A denarius was the usual amount paid for a day's work, so 100 denarii was a considerable amount. The deserving families who received farms were probably the families of soldiers who had fought for Caesar. No rent payments for a whole year was also a considerable gift.

The triumph is a magnificent affair. Caesar is blessed by the high priest, his nephew Octavian. Everyone is happy. I admit, if I'd been a Roman I would have been happy as well.

When the series "Rome" was made in 2005, it was the most expensive TV series ever filmed. This record has been broken since. The series was planned by the BBC, but since they didn't have enough money to make it they turned to HBO for financing. That's why there are different claims about whether it's a British or an American TV series, depending on who you ask. The episode "Triumph" was the most expensive episode of the series. The triumph itself had 600 extras in full Roman clothing, not to mention the animals in the scene. I regret that this scene only lasts five minutes. I would have liked to watch the ceremony continue for 10 to 15 minutes.

But there are things going on behind closed doors. Servilia is still bitter after being publicly disgraced in the last episode. Atia offers her sympathy, not admitting that she was the one who paid the thugs to humiliate her.

Quintus, Pompey's son, walks the street in a drunken stupor, threatening to kill Caesar. Servilia hears him and takes him in. Maybe he can be an ally in her quest to take revenge on Caesar for rejecting her. Brutus dislikes having a man like Quintus in his house, but his mother insists on letting him stay.

Vorenus soon holds his first speech as a candidate for the office of magistrate. Caesar's slave Posca sits next to him, prompting him what to say next. Afterwards Posca gives him advice on what to do as a magistrate, to which Vorenus replies that he should wait until he's elected. Posca tells him that he has already been chosen. The election results have been decided in advance. The other candidates are only standing to make it look like a genuine election. This shocks Vorenus.

Back in Rome, Pullo wants to marry Eirene, but it's not permitted because she's a slave. He borrows money from Vorenus to buy her freedom. He'll be able to pay it back when he gets his 100 denarii from Caesar. After telling her she's a free woman, Niobe's slave Oedipus comes and thanks him, because Eirene wants to marry him. Pullo flies into a rage and batters Oedipus to death with his bare hands.

Pullo spends the evening getting drunk. He's approached by Erastes Fulmen, who offers him a job. Pullo refuses the offer, but he's obviously considering it.

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Blade 2 (4½ Stars)

What a contrast to "Captain America Brave New World"! That was a boring film which will be the latest in Marvel's series of box office flops. "Blade 2" is an exciting action film that gets everything right. What's gone wrong with Marvel since 2002? Oh wait, I know. It was bought by Disney and put under the control of Bob Iger, a businessman who would rather promote his version of the DEI agenda than make good films. Whenever one of his films flops he shrugs his shoulders and continues on as before, demanding a pay rise for his efforts. Walt Disney must be turning in his grave. Bob is 74, well into retirement age. Shouldn't he be sent to an old people's home, so that he can be replaced by someone who knows what he's doing?

I described the plot in my last review, so I'll only add a few words here. My readers who aren't Marvel fans might be excited to see Donnie Yen's name in the credits. Don't get too worked up. He has a minor role and can easily be missed. His potential is wasted. We only see him performing one kick in the whole movie. He was the film's fight choreographer, so he was probably slotted in as an actor at the last minute. He was already on the set, so it saved the trouble of hiring someone else.

This is a better movie than "Blade", and the main reason is that Blade himself is a more likeable character. In the first film he was very remote, but now he's a more sympathetic person. He even smiles. Even if a character is remote and emotionless in comics, he has to show more emotions in a film to win over the audience. In "Blade 2" Wesley Snipes wins me over.

Success Rate:  + 0.9

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Dual (4 Stars)

The film takes place in the near future. Karen Gillan plays Sarah, a young woman who's suffering from a rare terminal illness. She repeatedly coughs up blood. She's told that she only has a few weeks left to live.

The hospital counsellor suggests that she should let herself be cloned. It's a common procedure for people who know they're going to die. After her death her clone will be a comfort for her friends and family, as if they've never lost her.

The clone is ready within a few hours. There's an interim period in which the clone lives with Sarah to get acquainted with her life. Sarah's husband accepts the clone into their life, but Sarah doesn't tell anyone else.

After ten months Sarah is told that she's no longer ill. She isn't allowed to keep the clone, so it – should I say she? – will have to be decommissioned. When she goes home to tell her clone, the clone insists on staying alive. Sarah's husband also says that he's fallen in love with the clone and wants to keep her. The law doesn't allow a person and her clone to both carry on living. They offer to let Sarah die instead, but she wants to live.

There's one last alternative. Sarah and her clone can fight to the death. They're given six months to prepare. Sarah does a rigorous course of combat training.

What about the double? We don't see her any more. Maybe she's training as well, maybe she isn't.

This is a ridiculous film. It's been described as a black comedy. A lot of humour comes from the matter-of-fact way extreme situations are discussed. The lawyer tells Sarah that she can sign a document agreeing to die without the slightest hint of emotion. The film was a box office flop, understandably. It's not the sort of film that many people would like. I enjoyed it, and I think it's worth watching again.

Success Rate:  - 10.6

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Captain America: Brave New World (3 Stars)

I don't know what to say about this film. It's not a bad film, definitely not as bad as "The Eternals". But it isn't a good film either. It's just boring.

This is the first film in which Captain America is no longer Steve Rogers, he's Sam Wilson. The torch has been passed. In the course of the film Sam repeatedly says that he's only a second rate Captain America because he hasn't taken the super soldier serum, and yet just look at him. He fights better than Steve Rogers ever did, even when he isn't flying. That doesn't make sense.

I can't say much more without giving away spoilers. If you're a Marvel fan like me, nothing will stop you going to see the film in the next few days. Today was the film's first day in the cinema. I usually wait a few days because the cinema is too full on the first day. Not today. The cinema was almost empty. That made me sad. It's as if the word had already spread that the film isn't worth seeing. Let's wait a week to see how the box office figures develop.

And to round off my day, when I went home I slipped on the ice in front of my house. Right on the steps. Luckily I fell on my soft rear parts and didn't suffer much damage, but I tried to stop the fall and slightly injured my right hand. I have two small cuts on my fingers. What a way to end a day that was already disappointing.

Rome 1.09 - Utica

Caesar didn't rest after the ten month siege in Alexandria. He pursued Cato and Scipio to Africa, making only a short pause to be joined by additional legions. He faced his enemies at the Battle of Thapsus, which he won decisively, despite being outnumbered again. The episode itself doesn't give any numbers, but according to Wikipedia Caesar had about 6000 men while Cato and Scipio had 9000 men. That's three battles in a row which Caesar won despite being outnumbered. The Gods must truly have been on his side.

We don't see the battle itself. The episode begins with Cato and Scipio sitting in the desert surrounded by corpses and dying elephants. Later in the episode Vorenus describes the battle to his children:

"There's us with the walls of Thapsus at our backs. Now, coming towards us on the plain with all their legions, cavalry and 900 war elephants: Scipio and Juno. 'Hold fast", says General Caesar, 'let the bastards come!' But there are ballistas on the walls, so the front line thinks they've been ordered to advance. So before the officers can stop it, the whole army charges on Scipio's men. The elephants see us come running and screaming, and they turn tail and charge on their own lines. Chaos!"

Cato and Scipio withdraw to Utica, accompanied by only a few soldiers. Scipio says that they can gather a new army to fight again, but Cato kills himself. This demoralises Scipio. At Cato's funeral pyre he orders a soldier to flay him. In Roman times suicide was considered a noble way to die, but when Caesar hears about it he calls Cato and Scipio cowards; he says that they killed themselves to deny him the opportunity to pardon them.

When Vorenus returns to Rome he returns to civilian life yet again. His wife Niobe and her sister Lyde have taken over the butcher's shop that Lyde's dead husband Evander used to run. With the help of two new slaves that she's bought the business is booming. Vorenus grudgingly agrees to become a butcher. Pullo declares his love to the slave girl Eirene that he rescued in the third episode. He's happy to find that she's learnt how to speak Latin in the two years while he was away.

There's an incident outside the butcher's. Two thugs are beating up another tradesman who owes them money. Vorenus challenges them and tells them to take their argument elsewhere. Vorenus slaps one of them, and they threaten to kill him. Soon afterwards Erastes Fulmen visits Vorenus with a gang. That's the money lender for whom Vorenus briefly worked in the fifth episode. Over the last two years he's become the most powerful crook in Rome. He says that he wants a public apology from Vorenus within a week, otherwise he'll kill him and rape his wife.

Octavian returns to Rome after two years studying at an unnamed academy. Presumably a religious academy? His mother Atia is happy to see him again and holds a large banquet in his honour. Caesar makes Octavian the pontifex maximus, the high priest responsible for divining the will of the Gods. Octavian accepts the position unwillingly. He says afterwards that he doesn't believe in the Gods.

I failed to mention that Octavia became Servilia's lover in the last two episodes. I thought it was too trivial to mention, but now it becomes relevant. Servilia is still angry with Caesar for rejecting her. She's heard that Caesar has an illness ("an affliction"), and she wants to find out exactly what it is, so that she can use it against him. The only person who knows about it is Octavia's brother Octavian. Servilia asks Octavia to question him. Octavia asks Octavian what his biggest secret is, and Octavian replies that he helped Titus Pullo kill Lyde's husband Evander. That's a big secret, but of no use to Servilia. She suggests that Octavia should seduce her brother to find out more.

Unlike in Egypt, incest was considered a great crime in Rome. It was punishable by death. Octavia refuses, but Servilia persuades her by telling her that her mother Atia ordered the death of her husband Glabius so that she could marry Pompey. This angers Octavia, and she seduces her brother. Atia's slave witnesses it and informs her mistress. Atia whips them both, and Octavia says that she did it because Servilia had said that Atia had ordered Glabius' death. Atia insists this was a lie.

The revenge comes quickly. Atia sends her lover Timon with a gang of men to ambush Servilia's carriage. They rip her out of the carriage, strip her naked and cut her hair in public view.

Vorenus doesn't apologise to Erastes. While having a meal with his family, Vorenus hears Erastes and his thugs approaching. He prepares to fight them, but at this moment Caesar himself arrives and Erastes flees. Caesar says that he respects Vorenus' integrity and wants to make him a magistrate. Vorenus, always outspoken, says that he doesn't want to serve a tyrant. Brave words, but Caesar isn't insulted. Caesar insists that he isn't a tyrant. He's only become a dictator for a short period of time, and he will give up his power as soon as he's able to restore the Republic. Vorenus is convinced and accepts the office. If I understand correctly, a Roman magistrate was a man who stood between the Senate and the Consuls.

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Wild At Heart (4 Stars)

Last week "Lost Highway" was shown in the cinema, but I couldn't go because it was sold out. I had mixed feelings. On the one hand I was sad, because I've never seen "Lost Highway" on the big screen. On the other hand, I was glad that so many people wanted to see such a wonderful film.

Tonight "Wild at Heart" was shown, also a film I've never previously seen in the cinema. It was a tribute evening to David Lynch. Two short films were shown before it started. The first was a tribute to David Lynch, a montage of short clips from his films and television series. The second was a collection of clips of things he said over the years, mostly taken from interviews. 

Nicolas Cage plays Sailor, a naive young man. He's dating Lula, played by Laura Dern. Lula's mother doesn't approve of him and hires a man to kill him. There's a fight, in which Sailor viciously kills the man with his bare hands. As a result he's sent to prison for two years, but Lula faithfully waits for him. Her mother is furious. She thought Lula would change her mind after having time to cool down.

Lula picks Sailor up from prison, but instead of going home they decide to drive all the way from North Carolina to California. That would be 2600 miles if they drove directly, but Sailor makes a detour through Texas to visit an old friend in Big Tuna, population 603. Meanwhile, Lula's mother has hired an assassin to find and kill Sailor. Since she doesn't trust him, she hires a second assassin, her former lover. (Or maybe he's still her lover, it's not clear).

Sailor drives through the barren landscape, not fully aware of what's happening around him. He's in love, which is all that matters. Nicolas Cage's acting is the opposite of his later performances. In this 1990 film he isn't at all over-the-top, he's supremely laid back.

It's an incredible film. The only thing that disturbs me is the amount of smoking. It's not just an occasional cigarette, Sailor and Lula are smoking in almost every scene. On occasions Sailor even has two cigarettes in his mouth. Maybe David Lynch meant this to be significant, but it's not attractive. In fact, it's repulsive.

Success Rate:  - 0.5

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Sister Street Fighter (5 Stars)

After the success of the Street Fighter trilogy it was decided to make similar films with a female lead character. I have to say, the Japanese are fast. All three Street Fighter films were made in 1974, and "Sister Street Fighter" was also made in 1974.

There's no connection between the stories in the two film series. What I mean is, "Sister Street Fighter" can't be considered a spin off. The only similarity between the two film series is that both involve martial arts. Sonny Chiba appears in a minor role in "Sister Street Fighter", but he's a different character. He doesn't even use the same fighting style. In the Street Fighter trilogy he's a master of Karate, but in "Sister Street Fighter" he practises Shorinji Kempo, a fighting style that concentrates on self defence, not attack. In fact, when Sonny fights an intruder in the Shorinji school and breaks his arm, his master criticises him.

The lead actress in "Sister Street Fighter" is Etsuko Shihomi. She plays Koryu Lee, a citizen of Hong Kong who has a Chinese father and a Japanese mother. Her brother Mansei is missing. The police inform her that he's a narcotics agent working undercover in a Japanese organisation. She travels to Yokohama to find him, but the drug boss Kakuzaki is expecting her.

There's a lot more action than in the Street Fighter films. Whenever Koryu goes anywhere, she has to run the gauntlet of different fighters with different fighting styles and different weapons. One thing that amused me is that whenever a different style or a new weapon is employed, there's a splash text on the screen telling the viewer what it is. I think the director wanted to educate the viewer.

Koryu visits the Shorinji school looking for her brother. It always disturbs me seeing swastikas, even though I know they aren't being used as racist symbols. The swastika was a symbol of peace for thousands of years, but Adolf Hitler corrupted it. I've never found an answer why he chose the symbol. He could just as easily have picked the letter Z, like modern fascists.

Don't attack the Shorinji school, or Sonny Chiba will break your arm. His master looks on critically.

This is an excellent film. Etsuko Shihomi is a first class fighter who's trained in Karate, Kenjitsu and Shorinji Kempo. She's even skilled in the use of nunchuks. I've been unable find out much about her, apart from the brief description in Wikipedia. I can't wait to see the other two films in the Sister Street Fighter trilogy.

Today I watched the film in Japanese with English subtitles. If you watch the dubbed English version, the names have been changed. For instance, Koryu is called Tina Long. They must think western audiences sre stupid.

Cuties (4 Stars)

This is a film that people talk about for all the wrong reasons. It's a coming-of-age film about a girl growing up under the control of a suppressive patriarchal religion.

The film is set in Paris, but it could just as well take place in any other large city in Europe. Aminata Diob (nicknamed Amy) is the 11-year-old daughter of immigrants from Senegal. Her mother forces her to do things she doesn't want to and dress in a way she doesn't want to. At first glance we think her mother is a strict Moslem, but as the film progresses we see that she's also only doing what's expected of her.

When the film starts, Amy is an outsider. The other girls look down on her because she dresses differently. She wants to be one of them. First she dresses in similar clothing (without her mother's knowledge), and then she dresses even more provocatively.

Within a few days Amy goes from being an outsider to being the centre of attention.

Many people say that Moslem women should be allowed to cover their heads if they want to. I agree, but the emphasis is on if they want to. Very few Moslem teenagers want to cover their heads. They're forced into it by their parents, especially their fathers. After years of brainwashing they become adults and take it for granted. That's what we see with Amy's mother. For years she's been contented with her life, but now her husband has gone back to Senegal to take a second wife. It makes her cry, but she accepts it, because her man can do whatever he wants.

When I lived in Birmingham I had a Pakistani friend in my film group. She was an adult, but she still lived with her parents. She told me that she always covered her head when she left her house, but as soon as she was out of sight she took her head scarf off. She even burnt her Koran in the garden, but she's terrified of telling her father what she's done. She only confided in me because she knew I had an open mind. She's condemned to put on the pretence of being a good Moslem.

Women should have the right to do whatever they want, whatever their religion is. No man should dictate to them. It's slightly different with young girls. I understand that when a girl is only eleven she should obey her parents, but the parents should be wise enough to talk to her and explain everything. If a girl is forced to dress conservatively against her will, it's likely that she'll go to the opposite extreme and dress too provocatively.

That's what happened to Amy.

"Cuties" is a Netflix original film. After four years it's been removed from the site, but it hasn't been made available on disc, apart from a French DVD without English subtitles. In my opinion it's shameful. No film should be allowed to disappear. I'm glad that I made a high density copy before it was taken down.

The Faculty (4 Stars)

This is a film I haven't watched for a long time. I remember renting it from Lovefilm when I lived in Mansel Road, so it must have been 2008 or earlier. Lovefilm was a company which allowed DVDs to be rented by mail. There was no rental period, I could keep a DVD as long as I wanted, but I was only allowed to have three DVDs at a time, so it was in my own interest to watch and return as quickly as possible to get the next film. As it was, I used to make a copy of any films I liked. I made a copy of "The Faculty", which I still have today, but I never watched the copy. Silly me. Lovefilm was bought by Amazon in 2008 and continued its rental business for a few years.

My memories of the film were vague before finally watching it again today. I remembered that it was written by Kevin Williamson, but I'd forgotten that it was directed by Robert Rodriguez.

The film takes place in a small town in Ohio, mostly in Herrington High School. A small creature is found which on the sports field that the Biology teacher can't identify. At first he thinks it's dead, but when he drops it into an aquarium it revives and starts to swim. It even duplicates itself.

That's just the start. The creature is a symbiotic parasite. It enters the body of its victims and takes control. It's not just a random occurrence. The creatures want to take over the whole world, starting with the teachers, then the students, then the rest of the town. It's never explained where the parasites come from. Only six students resist the invasion. They have a secret weapon. The high school student Zeke is a drug dealer, selling powder that he makes in his home laboratory. This powder kills the parasites. So the main hero is a drug dealer?

My close friends already know my taste in girls. If I were in school, would I have dated the beautiful cheerleader played by Jordana Brewster?

No way! I would have preferred Stokeley, the goth girl played by Clea DuVall. She's an outsider. Everyone assumes she's a lesbian, but I wouldn't have been put off by the rumours. I would have tried my hardest to date her. I've always had a weakness for goth girls, even though there's nothing goth about me. It's the black clothing and the moody looks that attract me. The only thing I don't like about goth girls is their piercings, but Stokeley was metal free. As girls should be. One of my slogans is "A girl should never have metal in any place that I want to kiss, lick or suck".

The film isn't perfect. I never thought I'd say this, but it could have been improved by adding jump scares. Also, the effect the parasites have on their victims is inconsistent. Some people become rigid and have a weird stare, whereas others act normally and blend in with their friends.

I wish film makers would pay attention to details. Look at the front page of the school newspaper, the Hornet Weekly. You can click the picture to enlarge it. The first paragraph is a summary of the characters, a reasonable article apart from misspelling "whose". But then the text is repeated in the second paragraph. That's sloppy.

Success Rate:  + 2.2

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Rome 1.08 - Caesarion

After defeating Pompey at the Battle of Pharsalus, Caesar pursues him to Alexandria, not knowing that Pompey is already dead. He's greeted by the Pharaoh Ptolemy XIII, an insolent 12-year-old boy. He speaks defiantly to Caesar, while his advisers try to calm him down.

The Egyptians offer Caesar Pompey's head on a plate, expecting him to be happy at the death of his foe. I remember this story in my school lessons about Roman history. When Caesar saw Pompey was dead, he wept for his old friend. Even though they'd fought a battle, he never wanted Pompey dead. He would have been content with imprisoning him, or even giving him house arrest where Caesar could have visited him to talk about the good old days. Caesar told Ptolemy that he wanted the man who killed Pompey delivered to him. The advisers agree to this, despite Ptolemy's complaints. Then Caesar says that he wants immediate repayment of the debts invoked by Ptolemy's father, 17 million drachma. It's hard to say exactly how much that would be worth today, because there are disagreements on the value of a drachma, but assuming it was worth $50, that would be $85,000,000.

Caesar hands Ptolemy a scroll with a list of the debts. Ptolemy throws it on the floor and refuses to pay. The advisers try to be diplomatic. They say they're unable to pay such a large sum immediately, because there have been problems collecting taxes. They say that supporters of Ptolemy's older sister Cleopatra have been refusing to pay taxes. Caesar says that Cleopatra should come to the palace so that the arguments between the two can be settled. They say that they don't know where she is, which Caesar considers to be a lie.

Caesar sends Mark Antony back to Rome, even though Mark warns him that Caesar won't have enough men to defend himself if the Egyptians attack him.

Cleopatra is being held in house arrest in a nearby village. She's harmless. She's an opium addict. Now that Caesar wants to meet her, Ptolemy orders her death. He sends assassins to kill her. Vorenus and Pullo follow the assassins, and they kill them as soon as they enter Cleopatra's tent.

This is what Cleopatra looks like without her royal wig. She's not so glamorous. Her servants tell her that she's incapable of facing her brother because she's an opium addict. She says it's over. She throws her opium pipe on the ground and never smokes it again. She was a strong woman.

Some people claim that Cleopatra was the most beautiful woman who ever lived. Other historians say that this is propaganda, and her looks were only average. The TV series leans to the latter opinion. What really is true is that she was a highly intelligent woman and a shrewd politician.

Cleopatra says that she needs to have a child by Caesar, but she can't wait until she sees him, because her womb is between the flood, and the next day will be too late to conceive. She asks Vorenus to have sex with her, but he refuses. He sends Pullo to her, who doesn't hesitate to do his duty.

On the next day they travel to Alexandria. Vorenus and Pullo wrap her in a carpet, so that she can't be recognised when they bring her to the palace. When Caesar sees her he's immediately enamoured. Cleopatra reminds Caesar that his three wives only gave him one daughter between them, but she can give him a son. He doesn't need any more encouragement.

Caesar kills the advisers, but Ptolemy himself escapes. The expected attack comes. Caesar seals the castle, and a siege ensues. Apart from small skirmishes, the siege lasts ten months. At the end Caesar emerges, proudly carrying his new son Caesarion on his arm.

This was another remarkable victory for Caesar. He had only 4,000 soldiers to stand against 20,000 Egyptians. Even considering the better training of Roman soldiers, these were overwhelming odds. Caesar is often called the greatest general in history. Maybe that's true; maybe it's because the Gods were on his side.

The episode suggests that Pullo was Caesarion's father. Obviously that's fiction, because we have no way of knowing that Titus Pullo was with Caesar in Egypt. On the other hand, historians have doubts that Caesar was Caesarion's father. There are suspicions that he was infertile. He only had one daughter from his first marriage, and there are doubts whether she was his child. The modern consensus is that Caesarion was fathered by another man.

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The Surfer (5 Stars)

This is the ninth film in the Stuttgart White Nights Festival.

Even before seeing the film, I expected it to be the best film in the festival, and I wasn't disappointed. Nevertheless, I wasn't prepared for what awaited me. The film's premise is simple, but it develops into a Kafkaesque nightmare.

In best Kafka mode, the main character isn't given a name. He was born in a beachside house in Australia, but when he was 15 his father died and his mother took him to live in America. All his life he's longed to return to the place where he enjoyed surfing. Now he finally has a chance. The house where he used to live is on sale, and he wants to buy it, however much it costs.

He isn't welcomed when he arrives. The locals tell him he isn't allowed to surf. They repeat the slogan, "Don't live here, don't surf here". He tells them he intends to live near the beach, but they still don't accept him. They become increasingly violent. They bully him, and his whole life is torn apart. They steal his surfboard, his phone, his watch, his car, his shoes. He becomes a vagrant, living close to the beach. He hardly knows what's happening around him.

And that's just the beginning.

Be sure to watch this remarkable film when it's shown in the cinema.