Saturday, 7 September 2013
Hardbodies (4 Stars)
According to the DVD cover, this film was voted "one of the best 80's teen sex comedies of all time". I hope that's meant as a joke, because if not it's so dumb that it's even funnier. But then again, writing silly stuff on the box has been done ever since the days of videotapes. Whether it really qualifies as a teen comedy is questionable. Three of the main characters are middle-aged, and most of the others look and act like they're in their early 20's.
Scotty is a young man who lives near the beach in a town somewhere in California. He doesn't seem to be employed, so it's unclear where his money comes from. It doesn't really matter; in films like this logical character backgrounds aren't essential. Whatever the source of his money, it isn't enough to pay his rent, so he's evicted and he has to sleep on the beach.
Three middle-aged men buy a house on the beach front. Why are they living together? It's a strange situation, but as I said already, logic doesn't matter. This isn't the real world, it's a parallel universe where normal rules don't apply. They want help picking up girls, so they hire Scotty as their teacher. They pay him $600 a month and let him live in their house.
The "hardbodies" in the film's title is the word Scotty and his friends use to refer to the beach babes. They work out in the gym every day to keep their bodies perfectly toned. But the word is used for something else later in the film. Scotty discovers an all-girl amateur rock band called Diaper Rash who complain that they've never played a gig. With a name like that who's surprised? The owner of the local gym suggests that they change their name to Hardbodies, which brings them immediate success. The band is played by Vixen and performs some great numbers in the film.
As beach comedies go, this is a great film. Mindless fun with lots of girls in bikinis and occasional nudity. If you don't expect too much you'll enjoy what you get.