Friday, 27 September 2013

Sci-Fighters (3 Stars)

There are two lessons that film makers should learn:

1. If you set a science fiction film in the future don't specify the year. It's embarrassing if people are still watching the film after that date and the world looks nothing like the film.

2. Don't hire a wrestler as the lead actor. Most wrestlers suck at acting. Some are good enough for supporting roles. None are good enough to carry a lead role.

Maybe I should add another point:

3. Don't pick a silly name for a film unless it's a comedy.

This Canadian made-for-television film takes place in the distant future, the year 2009. The Earth has been turned into eternal night by a series of volcanic eruptions covering the world with dust. Violent criminals are sent to prison colonies on the Moon. A criminal's body is returned to Earth after his death. The problem is that he isn't dead. He's infected with a deadly virus, and he's running around the city raping women, spreading the disease. Detective Cameron Grayson (Roddy Piper) has to hunt him down before the human race is wiped out, aided by microbiologist Dr. Kirbie Younger (Jayne Heitmeyer).

As wrestlers go, Rowdy Roddy Piper isn't the worst actor. He's better than the Rock, and much better than Hulk Hogan. He looks uncannily like Christopher Lambert when he's pacing across the rooftops in his longcoat. Jayne Heitmeyer is a better actress, but I have to say that short hair doesn't suit her. The film isn't too bad, it's worth watching once. In England you can buy it for less than the price of a Blockbuster rental. After that you'll probably forget it. Unless you're a Jayne Heitmeyer fan.

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