Sunday, 29 September 2013

Snakeman (3½ Stars)

It often happens that the cover of a DVD has a misleading picture on it. It might be a scene of events that don't happen in the film, or in extreme cases it might be a picture of people who don't appear in the film. This is mostly the case with DVD releases of old films that were made before the invention if DVDs. But I have to say, the UK release of this film sets a new standard in bad packaging. On the back of the cover we read:

When a research physicist working for a pharmaceutical conglomerate realizes that a serum they have developed is 1,000 times more deadly than any chemical or biological weapon, he crosses over to the dark world of international arms dealing. His betrayal leads to his terrible encounter with hundreds of venomous snakes in the laboratory. He survives, but evolves into a half man, half snake.

Exciting stuff, huh? Except that's not what the film's about.

Dr. Susan Elters, played by the beautiful Jayne Heitmeyer, is a biologist leading an expedition into the Amazon rainforest to search for a tribe that has a lifespan of over 300 years. She finds the tribe, but most of her party is killed by a giant seven-headed snake that the tribe worships as a God.

It looks like whoever designed the DVD box didn't take the trouble to watch the film first. I did a bit of research, and I found that the DVD was packaged by Boulevard Entertainment, a company that specialises in repackaging DVDs to create custom versions for supermarkets and similar stores. I hope that all their work isn't as bad as this.

Jayne Heitmeyer, aged 45, looking hotter than girls half her age

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