Saturday, 14 September 2013

Sex Safari (1 Star)

Small Heath Post Office has a large selection of pornographic DVDs on sale for cheap prices. They look primitive, obviously intended for the local Moslem community, but this one film stuck out. It seemed to be classier than the others, so I took a chance and laid my money down.

Big mistake. The film attempts to be classy, but fails miserably. The frequent changes from colour to black and white scenes show that director Brad Armstrong is attempting to be artistic, but all he does is bore me to tears. The film's title suggests that it is set in Africa, but it's actually a world tour starting in Africa, then continuing to Spain, England, China, Egypt and Russia.

Not even Evan Stone's appearance as Tarzan in the Africa segment can save this train wreck. Exceedingly dull. If nobody wants this film from me I'll throw it in the trash.

P.S. For those of you who don't know the area, Small Heath is a Moslem ghetto in Birmingham. The western half of Small Heath is inhabited mostly by Somalians, the eastern half is inhabited mostly by Pakistanis. I live in the east, but the post office is in the west. The post office is in the same road as Birmingham's second largest mosque. A sex shop would be totally inacceptable in a religious area like Small Heath, so the post office has to provide a place where Moslems can discreetly buy pornographic material before they go home after Friday prayers.

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