Off-Topic: My Career as a Shoplifter

I'm an honest, law-abiding person. My friends know I'm honest, so they might be surprised to hear my confession that I once stole something from a store. It was in 1991 in Stuttgart.

I wanted to buy a pair of gloves from Kaufhof in Stuttgart. The girl at the cash desk refused my credit card, because it was new and I'd forgotten to sign it. No problem. I walked away, signed the card and returned a few minutes later. "I can't accept your card because you've only just signed it". Silly girl. So  I went to another cash desk. "Sorry, our credit card machine is broken. You'll have to pay over there". And she pointed at the cash desk I'd just come from. I was getting frustrated by this time, so I went into the next department. "Sorry, you can only pay for stationery here. You have to take the gloves to the clothing department". Four refusals of my payment were enough. I demonstratively shoved the gloves in my pocket and left the store. I expected someone to stop me, but nobody did.

The gloves cost 50 Marks, hardly enough to make Kaufhof bankrupt. Do I have a bad conscience for my shoplifting? Yes and No. On the one hand, I don't regret taking the gloves. It was the first cold day of the year, and I needed them urgently. On the other hand, it's something I'll never forget. My heart pounded as I walked towards the exit. I thought I'd feel the hand of a security guard on my shoulder. I'd already prepared a little speech about wanting to pay for the gloves if someone would accept my money. But nobody stopped me, so the gloves were free. I wore them every winter for a few years, and I remembered the theft every time I put them on.

Those were the early days of credit card payment in Germany. It wouldn't happen today. I push my card in the machine myself, so nobody can see whether it's signed or not. And Kaufhof now allows payment throughout the store, wherever an item has been bought. So I'll never shoplift again. Probably not.