No Time To Die (4½ Stars)

Amazon Friday #31

I've finally got round to seeing the latest James Bond film after missing it in the cinema last year. I like the film a lot, and I felt tempted to give it a five star rating, but I changed my mind at the last moment because of one thing: it's not a James Bond film.

I refuse to get into arguments about whether Daniel Craig is a good Bond or not. For me it's all about how the script has been written. Daniel Craig doesn't play the brash, sexist Bond that we've grown to love over the last 60 years. He stands mourning for his lost love, Vesper Lynd. She was a character in Ian Fleming's first James Bond novel, "Casino Royale", a book that was never filmed in the classic James Bond series, 1962 to 2002. It was finally filmed in the rebooted series in 2006.

There's no bad Bond girl. That's not right. James Bond always needs a sexy woman trying to kill him, whether or not she eventually succumbs to his charms. The only real good Bond girl is Ana de Armas as Paloma, but this is spoilt by her not falling into bed with him. Madeleine Swann is a character from a previous film, which is a no-no, as far as James Bond is concerned. His lovers never last from one film to the next, so I wouldn't count her as a Bond girl.

And James Bond as a father? Really? He's always careful that things like that don't happen.

Let's see what happens in the next film. Will it be another reboot? Or will it be a James Bond film without James Bond? It would be interesting to have Nomi return as the new 007, as long as the tables are turned. Lashana Lynch could play a sexist Jane Bond, and each new film would feature Bond Boys that she beds at a whim. I'd like that.

Success Rate:  + 1.1

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Venom: Let there be Carnage (3 Stars)

The Venom films aren't part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Or are they? The final scene of the second film, shown in the middle of the credits, suggests otherwise.

When I saw it in the cinema last year I expressed great disappointment and said I wouldn't buy it on Blu-ray. That was an emotional reaction. I bought it last week as the third film in the Prime Day offer, buy two Marvel films and get one free. I would have bought it eventually anyway. I'm too much of a Marvel fan to skip it. I might even buy "The Eternals", if the price is low enough, but the price will have to be very low to tempt me.

I'll shorten the film's name to "Venom 2". It's a film that I really wanted to like. I was biased in its favour before I saw it in the cinema, and I'm still biased now. I watched it today looking for positive things to say about it. There are a few. Tom Hardy's acting is superb. The fight scenes are good, though not up to the fight scenes in "Spider-Man 3", made way back in 2007. That's about it. The list of negatives is much longer:

• The cinematography is dark and grubby.
• The presence of an ex-girlfriend (Michelle Williams) is annoying.
• The romance between Cletus Kasady and Frances Barrison isn't developed.
• The humour is excessive.

At least, I hope the interaction between Eddie Brock and the Venom symbiote is intended to be funny. If not, it's just stupid. The symbiote repeatedly half-emerges from Eddie's body like a ridiculous sock puppet, arguing about what he wants to do. This never happened in the comics. The symbiote was in control and determined what was going to happen. If he wanted to eat a bad guy (or a good guy) he didn't talk about it, he just did it.

Venom should be shown as a cold-blooded killer. The film shouldn't be certificate 12, it should be rated R for violence. Film fans like to criticise "Spider-Man 3", but Sam Raimi got it right. He showed Venom and Eddie Brock feeding off one another's hatred. He also showed the symbiote as a Spider-Man imitator, an aspect missing in the new Venom films.

I shan't write any more about the film. It makes me sad just thinking about it.

Success Rate:  + 2.6

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Venom: Let there be Carnage (3 Stars)

I don't remember when I was so disappointed with a Marvel film. I enjoyed the first Venom film with Tom Hardly greatly, even though it was far removed from any connection with the comics. I expected the sequel to be similar, but it wasn't. The film is less violent. Marvel Studios have tamed down the character. The original film was a 16 certificate in America, whereas the sequel has a 12 certificate. The main problem is the humour. There's too much of it, especially in the first half of the film. Venom was never intended to be a comedy figure, a funny alien from another planet.

"Venom 2", as I prefer to call it, improves when it moves into the main fight scenes in the second half, but there are still repeated silly jokes. As soon as I got home today I read what other reviewers think. Interesting. Most say that it's better than the first film. I don't understand them. Did they watch the same film as me?

I'm in no hurry to buy "Venom 2" on Blu-ray. If it's shown on a streaming service I'll watch it again and write more about it. Until then, it's a film I'd rather forget. Marvel's next film, "The Eternals", is in the cinema next week. I hope it won't be as bad.

Unusually for Marvel, there's no post-credits scene, but there's a very important mid-credits scene. Don't miss it.

Rampage (4 Stars)

Today, 19th May 2018, Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, married the American actress Meghan Markle. I was presented with a difficult choice: should I sit at home and watch the wedding, or should I go to the cinema and watch a film about a big monkey? Anyone who knows me already knows what I decided. I picked the big monkey.

The film begins in a space station orbiting the Earth which is being used as a laboratory for genetic research. One of the subjects escapes from its cage and wrecks the station. A scientist flees in an escape pod, taking with her canisters containing the bacteria that have been developed. The escape pod burns up on reentry into the atmosphere, and the canisters are scattered across North America. In Florida a crocodile swallows a canister. In Wyoming a grey wolf is infected by a broken canister. The third canister infects George in the San Diego nature Preserve.

Who's George? That's the big monkey. He's an albino gorilla who was saved from poachers by the primatologist Davis Okoye. George is a highly intelligent gorilla who converses with Davis using American Sign Language.

The result of the virus is to make the infected animals grow in size, at the same time becoming stronger, more agile and more aggressive. Energyne, the company responsible for the genetic research, transmits a signal to lure all three of the creatures to their headquarters in Chicago. When they arrive in the city Davis tries to reason with George.

There's a hidden joke for people who understand sign language. Whenever Dwayne Johnson talks to George he speaks aloud while making the signs. Whenever he says "It's me" he makes the sign for "rock". That's amusing.

Is it a good film? That depends on what you want to see. Dwayne Johnson has made enough films for us to know what to expect. Any film that he appears in is infeasible and over-the-top, but it's good entertainment. It's not serious cinema, it's good fun. If you want 90 minutes of wild escapism you won't be disappointed.

Verne Troyer does not appear in "Rampage", but since I'm remembering him this week I thought it would be appropriate to share this photo that was taken with Dwayne Johnson. If I'm not mistaken, Verne is attempting to imitate The People's Eyebrow. Sorry, Verne, you can't do it. Very few people can. It takes years of practice.

28 Days Later (4½ Stars)

"28 Days Later" was made in 2002 by the consistently excellent director Danny Boyle. He was brave enough to make a zombie film at a time when zombie films were out of fashion. Referring to my comments in my review of "Ready Player One", that's a risk Steven Spielberg wouldn't have taken. Unexpectedly, it was a massive box office hit, earning back more than 10 times its budget. It's had a big influence on the modern zombie genre. For instance, the TV series "The Walking Dead" borrows strongly from its ideas.

The title takes its name from the speed of the infection. The film begins with animal activists freeing a monkey from a laboratory where it's being used as a test subject. The monkey bites a female activist, who then bites her colleagues. The speed of the infection is devastating. Within 10 seconds of being bitten a person becomes a ravenous monster and bites others. 28 days later more than 99% of the UK's population has been turned into monsters.

The film follows the struggle of the young man Jim to survive, aided only by a few others that he meets on his journey northwards from London to Manchester. At first he naively believes that he can trust all the other survivors, but he finds out that he's wrong. Bad people don't become better when they're put under pressure, they get worse.

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Ninja Assassin (4½ Stars)

My guest writer Kaylena praised this as one of her favourite films six years ago. Normally that would have prompted me to watch it as soon as possible. I didn't, because I thought it was a Korean film. I don't know how I got this idea. The film's main actor, Jung Ji-hoon, is Korean, but it's an American film.

There are very few martial arts films made in America. There are lots of films where a character is a martial arts fighter, such as "Rush Hour" with Jackie Chan or "Unleashed" with Jet Li, but for me a martial arts film is a film in which the fighting is as important as the plot itself. Many films like that are made in China and Japan. Let's make my own personal definition of a "martial arts" film, which deviates from Wikipedia's definition, to explain what I'm talking about.

1. Both the good guys and the bad guys use a fighting style which originates in the far East.
2. The fighting scenes (including training and talking about fighting) make up at least 50% of the film's running time.

Using this definition I can only think of three American martial arts films.

1. "Enter the Dragon" (arguable, since it was co-produced by Golden Harvest)
2. "Kill Bill"
3. "Ninja Assassin"

If you can think of any others that qualify as American martial arts films, please let me know. The comments box is below my post. If you don't see it, click on the word "comments" below the post. It's not difficult to find, but I get so few comments that I sometimes wonder if it's because my readers don't know how to comment.

The film is about a secret group of assassins based in Japan. The group is made up of nine clans, but we only see one clan in the film, the Ozuna clan. Orphans, male and female, are taken into the clan and trained to be killers. It's not about honour or philosophy, it's a purely mercenary operation. The clan will kill anyone, anywhere in the world, for 100 pounds of gold, or whatever the current market value is. At the time the film was made it was $1,556,000. This price has remained constant for over one thousand years. Naturally, there are cheaper assassins for hire, but the nine clans are the most efficient. If you want to kill a head of state who's surrounded by a hundred soldiers a typical contract killer wouldn't be able to do the job. The clans guarantee success after receiving payment.

The training in the Ozuna clan is severe. The students frequently kill or seriously wound one another. Anyone who is too weak to continue is killed. Anyone who attempts to leave is killed.

After completing his training Raizo (Jung Ji-hoon) is sent on his first mission. He has to kill the head of the Russian mafia in Berlin. He succeeds, but before returning to Japan he's asked to kill a young girl who has attempted to leave the clan. He refuses, which makes him an outcast. He tries to hide, but assassins from his clan keep coming to kill him.

Involved in the story is Mika Coretti -- an Italian? -- a Europol agent based in Berlin, played by the beautiful Naomie Harris. She has been investigating the Ozuna clan as responsible for the assassination of the Russian prime minister. What she doesn't know is that the CIA hired the Ozuna clan to kill him. Her superiors try to persuade her to stop the investigation, but when she continues the Ozuna clan is hired to kill her as well. Raizo considers it his duty to protect her.

"Ninja Assassin" has dazzling but bloody fight scenes from beginning to end. There's also a touching story of redemption, as Raizo tries to make up for his past. The plot can be criticised in a few points. For instance, I can understand why the Ozuna clan were hired to kill a prime minister, but were they really needed to kill Mika? A man posing as a CIA agent could have done the job for $5000.

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Spectre (4 Stars)

This is the fourth film in the New Bond series. Like the previous film, "Skyfall", it's directed by Sam Mendes, but it has a completely different feel to it. It's a darker, more depressing film. This is intensified by the cinematography, which uses dull colours, even in daytime scenes. I'm glad that I've watched the Daniel Craig Bond films (almost) back to back, four films in six days. That's the only way to notice subtle changes in style.

Why is "Spectre" darker than the previous films? It's the arrival of Bond's nemesis Blofeld, whose full name is Ernst Stavro Blofeld. He introduces himself as the man who has been making Bond suffer for years; at least for the last four films. We can expect him to continue making Bond suffer for years to come. Does this mean we can expect more dark, depressing Bond films? I hope so. We had 40 years of camp James Bond films, especially in the Roger Moore years, so it's time to try something new.

Blofeld is played by Christoph Waltz. In an interview after the film's release he said that he wasn't satisfied with his performance. It's the mark of a great actor -- or a great anything else -- that he's the biggest critic of his own work. I felt that he played the part admirably, but he must see minor faults that aren't apparent to me. It depends on what he's trying to achieve. Is he attempting to model himself on any one of the past incarnations of Blofeld? In the Classic Bond films he was played by five different actors. For me Donald Pleasance is the version of Blofeld that I most fondly remember. Telly Savalas was so different that he seemed like a different person.

Donald Pleasance was a superbly evil version of Blofeld. Telly Savalas ran around too much, which made him seem comical. Christoph Waltz is somehow creepy as every bad guy that he plays, and that fits the role of Blofeld. I assume that he'll try to be closer to his vision of the role in the next Bond film. When I see him again I'll better understand what he's trying to achieve.

"Spectre" adds something to the character of Blofeld that wasn't in the Classic Bond films or the Ian Fleming novels. Bond and Blofeld are brothers! By adoption, at least. After the death of Bond's family he was adopted by Blofeld's father. At the time Blofeld used his birth name, Franz Oberhauser. He despised his adopted brother so much, feeling jealous of the attention his father gave him, so he killed his father, faked his own death and changed his name. Blofeld is his mother's maiden name, but his new Christian names are random.

There's a subtle irony that my friends missed when I went to watch "Spectre" with them in the cinema two years ago. In the Austin Powers films Dr. Evil, pictured above, is a parody of Blofeld. In the third film, "Goldmember", he reveals that he's really Austin Powers' lost brother. Now "Spectre" has copied this idea from "Goldmember". James Bond influenced Austin Powers, and now Austin Powers is influencing James Bond. I wonder if this crossed the minds of the screenwriters when they were writing the script.

Could Daniel Craig and Christoph Waltz be brothers? Even though the relationship is only by adoption there are certain similarities. Judge for yourself.

Where did the film take me on my virtual holiday today? London, as always, followed by Mexico, Morocco, Italy and Austria. Who needs to fly to other countries when he has a Blu-ray player?

You can skip the rest of this post if you don't speak German. Here's a newspaper report about the death of Blofeld's father. It contains a few errors and examples of poor style that could have been avoided by letting Christoph Waltz, a native Austrian, take a quick look at it. "Tal" and "gebracht" are two separate words that shouldn't have been combined. The word separation is faulty throughout. Probably the text was typed using an English version of MS Word, and the English language word separation algorithm was used. A German would never separate "Obduktionsbericht" as "Obduktionsberi-cht". Also, it's not usual to call the body of a dead person a "Körper". The word "Leiche" would be used. That's sloppy.

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Skyfall (5 Stars)

Until today this was the only James Bond film that I had never seen. My friends already told me before I went to see "Spectre" in 2015 that "Skyfall" was the best Bond film ever. Then I read that "Skyfall" was the biggest box office success of all the Bond films, the seventh most successful film of all time, but even that didn't tempt me to catch up with it.

Now I've finally seen it for myself. It's an amazing film, especially in contrast to the relatively weak "Quantum of Solace". Maybe it's because of the arrival of a new director, Sam Mendes? I don't know. Whatever the reason is, "Skyfall" stands out as a classic. At the moment of writing this I'm still trying to think if there's any justification for giving it less than five stars.

Q and Moneypenny are back, after I complained about their absence in the last two films. However, they're completely different characters, even if they share the same names. In the Classic Bond films Q was an inventor who supplied James Bond with the most adventurous and infeasible gadgets. The new Q only gives Bond a gun and a radio. When Bond looks disappointed, Q's reply is "Were you expecting an exploding pen? We don't really go in for that any more".

James Bond makes remarks about Q's youth. The actor Ben Whishaw was actually 31 when the film was made, but it's true, he hardly looks a day over 20. Rather than being a seasoned old man like Desmond Llewelyn he's MI6's whizz kid.

In the Classic Bond films Miss Moneypenny's first name was never stated. She worked as M's secretary. It was an often repeated joke that she had a crush on Bond, and he flirted with her on every visit, but whatever promises Bond might have made to take her on a date never came to fruition. Miss Moneypenny always looked plain, in comparison to the sexy girls that he bedded in each film. Please don't accuse me of judging women by their looks, I'm just telling you how Bond judged women. If Miss Moneypenny had worn a short skirt and thigh high boots Bond would have wanted her.

In "Skyfall" we're told that her first name is Eve, which isn't much of a deviation from Classic Bond, but just look at her! When I first heard that Naomie Harris had been cast as Miss Moneypenny I shook my head and said "No, no, no. She's much too beautiful to be Miss Moneypenny". James Bond wouldn't have ignored her for 50 years if she'd looked so hot, even without the thigh high boots. That's what I thought in 2012, and it was one of the many reasons I didn't go to the cinema to watch "Skyfall". I think differently now. She's not the same Moneypenny, she's a new character with the same name. She can't just type, she's a field agent who is an expert sniper. She says in the film that she's applied for a desk job as M's secretary, though I find that a bit difficult to believe. Field agent to secretary seems too big a descent.

There's one small detail in the film which I consider significant. James Bond's Aston Martin is fetched out of storage, only to be destroyed a few scenes later. Sam Mendes wanted to emphasise that the old Bond is gone and a new Bond has stepped into his shoes.

In my review of "Tracks" last month I explained that I don't need to go on holiday, because films take me around the world. The best way to enjoy an instant cinematic holiday is to watch a James Bond film. All of his films jump from one country to another. "Casino Royale" took me to London, Italy, the Bahamas and Montenegro. "Quantum of Solace" took me to London, Italy, Austria and Bolivia (although the Bolivian scenes were actually shot in Chile). Today I used "Skyfall" to visit London yet again, followed by Istanbul, Shanghai and finally the most beautiful country on Earth: Scotland! Skyfall is the name of the Bond family estate in the Western Highlands. This estate is fictional, but the location is Glen Etive, a few miles south of Glencoe. The area between Fort William and Glencoe is the most attractive part of Scotland. Some people prefer Skye, and I admit that Skye is beautiful, but I contend that the people who prefer Skye have never spent time walking through the mountains and valleys of Glencoe. I have visited the area many times.

Here are a few screenshots from the film to show what I mean.

I could have posted 50 screenshots from the film, but these pictures should be enough to show what the Scottish scenery is like. Glen Etive is a wonderful place to visit, but a difficult place to live. It's a long walk to the next supermarket.

But now I've finally decided. Five stars is the rating the film deserves.

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Collateral Beauty (4½ Stars)

Here we go again. It's another one of those films. I mean the films that prove that the critics have lost touch with the public. This is a wonderful film, deeply moving in its romantic moments. It's a box office success. The public loves it. I love it. But the critics hate it. I shan't even bother trying to explain to you what they don't like about it. I'll just say that they're wrong.

The film is about Howard Inlet, the founder of a highly successful New York trading company. He has three business partners, but it's his genius and his charisma that carry the company. His life changes when his six year old daughter dies. His marriage breaks up. He becomes depressive and unable to work any more. After two years his partners lose their patience and want to have him declared mentally incapable of running the company. They find out that he's written letters to Love, Time and Death, complaining about what they've done to him. The partners hire three actors from a small theatre company to pretend to be these entities. They also hire a private detective to film him when he meets and argues with these three people, in the hope of making him seem unbalanced.

I shan't say anything else about the plot. You can already imagine that as soon as Howard is convinced that they're who they're pretending to be they have a profound effect on him. Unexpectedly, the three actors also connect with the three partners, helping them deal with their respective problems.

For years I've never liked Will Smith as an actor. That's beginning to change. He's no longer typecast as the brash kid from the ghetto. As he's getting older he's playing more serious roles, like this one. The film features several of my favourite actors, but Will Smith stands above them.

I repeat once more. This is a wonderful film, so don't let anything the critics say put you off watching it.

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Spectre (4 Stars)

James Bond films are a British tradition. They're as British as tea and scones and Doctor Who. The comparison with Doctor Who is the closest. Both have been running for the same length of time, James Bond first appearing on the screen in 1962, Doctor Who in 1963. The Doctor has his companions, James Bond has his Bond girls. The excitement over who will be the next Bond is just as rousing as who will be the next Doctor. The difference is that the Doctor has a regeneration to explain why he always stays young; with James Bond it just happens. Ah, the magic of cinema!

While the Doctor Who series always builds on what has gone before, all the previous episodes being considered canon, the James Bond film series has slipped a reboot on us that we hardly noticed. The first 20 films (or 21, if we include "Never say never again") progress steadily from film to film, the main connecting factor gluing the films together being Desmond Llewelyn as Q.

When Daniel Craig became the 6th James Bond in 2006 he wasn't just a new actor, he was a new Bond in a new era. "Casino Royale" (2006) shows him at the beginning of his career. The following films, leading up to "Spectre" itself, have slowly built up to the existence of a secret organisation and its mysterious leader, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, mirroring the development in the first seven films from 1962 to 1971.

I shan't say anything else about the plot today's film. I have a lot of thoughts and ideas that I'll share in private with my friends who have seen it already, but I don't want to give away spoilers. As far as the character himself goes, it's a return to vintage Bond. He's the suave, debonair lady's man. Lea Seydoux, who plays the latest Bond girl, Dr. Madeleine Swan, recognises who she's dealing with. "There are two James Bonds", she aptly tells him. One is the perfect gentleman who treats a woman like a queen. The other is the misogynist who casts his lover off as soon as he finds someone better. No Bond girl has ever been kept from one film to the next, he always needs new flesh to keep him happy.

Ninja Assassin [Guest Writer] (5 Stars)

Trained since childhood to be a lethal killer, Raizo has since turned his back on the Ozunu clan that raised him and now seeks revenge for their heartless murders. Teaming up with Europol investigator Mika, Raizo steadily butchers his enemies while inching ever closer to the long-awaited bloody reunion with his former master.

I just finished watching this movie for the umpteenth time and thought I should get this review down while the adrenaline is still high. This movie is my personal wet dream or I may even liken it to my personal porno. [laughs] I know that sounds pretty creepy but considering that I'm a sadist with sociopathic tendencies and a knife fetish that never once mentioned the words normal or sane in relation to myself, I guess it works for me. This movie had everything, and I do mean everything, that I look for in an Asian karate and sword-fighting movie. The fighting sequences were superb, the story riveting and fascinating, the actors smoking hot (men and women) and strong in their skills that brought this movie to life. The only thing that I had a problem with this movie was the viscosity of the blood and the fact that they got a little heavy handed with the cutting of limbs that threatened to ruin my buzz but other than that I say it was a masterpiece and it is among my Top 10 movies of all time. You heard correctly; I'm not qualifying this movie in my top action genre list but my overall general list (would probably be #7 of my Top 10). It's just that good to me and I think it always will be. I'm going to go cool down now since my heart is still beating pretty fast. Highly recommended!!