Wednesday, 25 May 2022

The Eternals (1½ Stars)



I gave "The Eternals" a bad review after seeing it in the cinema last November. I called it the worst MCU film so far. Since then I've been surprised to read positive reviews. Okay, there have also been negative reviews. The film has polarised critics, but it seems that most Marvel fans like it. Why?

I suspect that Marvel fans are moved by Jack Kirby nostalgia. "The Eternals" was his big story when he returned to Marvel in 1976 after a six-year absence. If this really is the case, can't they see that the Eternals in the film are far removed from the Eternals in the comics? Apart from that, I have to admit that I'm one of the few vintage Marvel fans who wasn't enthusiastic about Jack Kirby's comic. He was a great artist, but a mediocre writer. I know I'll probably get hate mail for saying that, but it's my honest opinion. He didn't have the magic of other Marvel writers like Stan Lee and Roy Thomas. Not even close.

When I watched the film today I made an attempt to like it. I deliberately looked for positive features. I felt sympathetic to Dane Whitman as a character, and Pip the Troll looks similar to the way he looks in the comics, but that's about it. It's a poorly made film with characters we don't care about fighting monsters we care even less about, then squabbling amongst themselves.

Let me give you a test. Name the Avengers shown in the MCU films. I'm betting that if you give yourself ten minutes you can remember all of them. Now name the ten Eternals. Very few of you will be able to name all ten. (I did this test myself and named seven of the Eternals). We don't know them.


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