Location: Onondaga War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
Match 1: Tag team match, Legion of Doom vs Savio Vega and Crush
Faarooq and Ahmed Johnson have been barred from ringside. The match starts out
as a free-for-all with all four wrestlers in the ring. The referee has no
control. Eventually it's a bit better organised. Then Faarooq runs into the
ring and attacks the Legion of Doom with a stick (two-by-four). Savio Vega and
Crush are disqualified. All the other members of the Nation of Domination
enter the ring to attack the Legion of Doom. Ahmed Johnson comes to defend
them.
Match 2: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs Flash Funk
Flash Funk comes to the ring with his dancing girls. Vince McMahon calls them
the Funkettes. I haven't heard them called that before, but Flash Funk has
been in the WWF for a few years, so I probably missed it.
But Flash Funk isn't the only wrestler with glamorous girls by his side.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley is accompanied by the muscular woman who's been at his
side the last few weeks. Vince says her name is Chyna.
The referee Earl Hebner orders her out of the ring, but she doesn't leave
until she wants to.
Jerry Lawler says that Chyna has a million dollar body and a ten cent face. He
actually claims that it's something that Vince McMahon and Jim Ross said to
one another, but we know Jerry.
Come on, her face isn't all that bad!
I could stare at her face for hours.
She's even beautiful when she scowls.
The match is fairly fought, even though Flash Funk is distracted by Chyna. Is
he scared she'll intervene, or can't be take his eyes off her body? Hunter
Hearst Helmsley pins Flash Funk to win. After the match Triple H and Chyna
team up on Flash Funk in the ring.
Match 3. Tag team match, Mascarita Sagrada Jr. and Mini-Goldust vs
Mini-Mankind and Mini-Vader
This is a gimmick match with Mexican dwarfs dressed up as popular WWF
wrestlers. It's a short match that Sagrada and Mini-Goldust win.
This is a sign spotted in the crowd. When it came up on the screen, Vince
McMahon was distracted from his commentary. America could do worse.
Match 4. The Sultan vs Mike Bell
Rocky Maivia comes out as a guest commentator. The Sultan easily defeats the
jobber Mike Bell, who doesn't manage a single hold.
Vince McMahon interviews Shawn Michaels, who's still recovering from a knee
injury. Shawn says he's disappointed that Vince hasn't invited him to
Wrestlemania, so he's inviting himself as a guest commentator.
Match 5. British Bulldog vs Vader
It's a hard match between two equally matched opponents. When Mankind
intervenes to help Vader, Vader is disqualified.
Match 6. Billy Gunn vs Aaron Ferguson
Ken Shamrock comes to the ring as guest commentator. Billy Gunn scores an easy
win over the jobber Aaron Ferguson.
Match 7. Ken Shamrock vs Billy Gunn
After defeating Aaron Ferguson, Billy Gunn challenges Ken Shamrock to a fight.
The other commentators tell Ken to sit down, but Ken says he's never backed
down from a fight in his life. Ken grabs Billy's arm and makes him submit
within seconds. Billy says it was luck, and he wants another chance. Billy
grabs Ken from behind, but Ken knocks him over and makes him submit again with
an ankle lock.
Match 8. WWF Championship, Sycho Sid vs Bret Hart
WWF champion Sycho Sid faces Bret Hart in a steel cage match. It's a no
disqualification match, that can be won by pinfall, submission or escaping
from the cage.
Steve Austin climbs onto the cage. He wants Bret Hart to win, because he has a
match against Bret at Wrestlemania next week. The Undertaker climbs onto the
cage. He wants Sycho Sid to win, because he has a match against Sid at
Wrestlemania next week. After a hard four-way fight, Sid climbs out of the
cage and retains his WWF championship title.
After the match Bret Hart whines about being screwed. Steve Austin says he's a
loser. The two begin to fight with one another. The Undertaker fights with
Sycho Sid, while the referees try to separate them.
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