In the Line of Duty 3 (5 Stars)

How many films have been made in the history of cinema? Excluding short films. There are many different ways to describe what's a film and what isn't, but the general consensus is that there have been about 500,000 films. I've only seen a small percentage of them. I've already put together a list of my favourite films, but how do I know that there isn't a brilliant film that I haven't yet seen?

Recently I stumbled on the "In the Line of Duty" films almost by accident. My jaw dropped. How can there be such brilliant films that I've never heard about for the last 35 years? There were seven films in the series from 1985 to 1991. Supposedly the first four films were the best, but I'll make sure I get my hands on all seven of them.

The continuity between the films is limited. There are different characters in each film, but the third film introduces Cynthia Khan, who continues until the seventh film.

Cynthia plays the rookie police officer Rachel Yeung. The film starts with her first day on the job. She's given wise advice about what to do. If it's a traffic violation, write a ticket; if it's a robbery, she should stay out of the way in case he's armed.

Does she take her colleague's advice? No. When a thief runs past she leaps into action.

She has to rip open her tight police skirt to do her kung fu kicks.

This leads to an immediate promotion. She's assigned to the Special Crime Unit, which is run by her uncle. He's a blatant sexist. He doesn't think that women should be policewomen. He advises her to quit her job so he can hire her as a secretary. He deserves a kung fu kick where it hurts most.

The main story is about two members of the Japanese Red Army. They're stealing jewels to finance the purchase of weapons for their cause. In her new role as a police inspector, Rachel Yeung fights against overwhelming odds.

What an incredible film! I wish I'd seen it years ago.

I just have one piece of advice. Watch it in Chinese with subtitles. The English dubbing is awful.

War for the Planet of the Apes (4 Stars)

This film takes place two years after the events in "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes". In the previous film the apes won their fight against the citizens of San Francisco. Now they have a more serious opponent, a professionally trained army that's arrived from the North.

But this film shows further developments. The Simian Flu that wiped out more than 99% of the Earth's population has now mutated. It's making people lose their intelligence, starting with their ability to speak. A lot of thought has been put into the rebooted film series. It makes a lot more sense than the last three films of the legacy series.

The battle lines aren't as clear cut as in the last film. The soldiers aren't just fighting against the apes, they're fighting against one another. A second army arrives from the North which believes that the first army is infected with the Simian Flu and wants to destroy it.

Caesar doesn't want war. He wants peace. He thinks that humans and apes can live side by side. There's enough room for everyone. Unfortunately, the humans disagree.

Success Rate:  + 1.3

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Spuk Unterm Riesenrad (4 Stars)

It's time to go to the cinema with Oliver again. I'm hoping that he'll become as much of a film fan as I am. Maybe he can even write a blog one day. But that's too much to hope.

This is a German film based on a television series that was shown on East German television in 1979. The title means "Haunting beneath the big wheel". It sounds better in German. Honest.

Three girls, Tammi, Umbo and Keks, are united when their grandfather dies. He was the owner of a fairground in a unnamed German village. (It was filmed in the beautiful town Bernburg). In a freak storm three of the figures from the ghost train come to life. At first only Tammi sees them, but eventually all three girls become acquainted with them. The ghosts don't like the idea that the fairground, their home, will be sold, so they go on a rampage, casting spells and creating chaos in the village. They do wicked things like stealing the policemen's clothes.

It's a sight too terrible for human eyes.

Don't look, Tammi!

I found the film mildly amusing. At first I wanted to give it a lower rating, but I think it deserves four stars. The film was a hit with the audience, reasonably large considering it was the film's second week. Oliver liked it. That's all that matters.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (5 Stars)

This film takes place eight years after the events of the previous film. A lot has happened in this time. The apes, led by Caesar, have settled in Muir Woods, the area north of San Francisco. The disease that we saw at the end of the previous film has spread throughout the world. Only one person in 500 has survived the disease, but that's not the only thing that's killed people. The survivors have rioted, and civilisation has collapsed.

The people of San Francisco know nothing of the ape civilisation on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge. They finally cross the bridge to repair the dam that supplies the power to their city. An uneasy alliance develops between the apes and the humans. Once more the apes are the good guys, but even among the apes there are those who want war. The humans aren't really evil, they're just scared. They realise that the apes are intelligent and powerful, and they're worried they won't survive.

Caesar has become a father. He shows affection towards his children, but at the same time he's developed into a noble ruler. He's no longer the playful little chimp that we saw in the last film.

War breaks out, and the apes win. Is that a spoiler? Not really. By now everyone knows that the apes are destined to replace humans as the dominant species on the planet.

Success Rate:  + 1.0

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Rise of the Planet of the Apes (5 Stars)

I'm rewatching the Planet of the Apes films in preparation for seeing "Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes" when it's released in May. The films in the reboot franchise are sheer brilliance. Much more effort is made to show how the apes took over the Earth than in the original film series (1968-1973).

The film introduces us to Caesar, who will be the main character in the first three films of the rebooted franchise. In the near future a company called Gen-Sys is working on a cure for Alzheimer's. There's a personal reason for the research: the father of the head scientist, Will Rodman, suffers from advanced Alzheimer's. The medication is tested in the laboratories on chimpanzees. One particular chimpanzee, Bright Eyes, develops remarkable intelligence after being treated with the drug. Unknown to Will, she's pregnant. She's shot when she goes wild, trying to protect her baby. Will takes him home, keeping him as a pet. The baby chimpanzee, now called Caesar, is even more intelligent than his mother.

We see Caesar's development over the next eight years. He develops from being a playful little ape into a quiet, brooding adult. He's no longer a pet, he's like a child to Will. When Caesar attacks a neighbour who's threatening Will's father, he's put in an animal pen. Caesar is a natural leader. Soon the other apes are following him. Caesar breaks out and collects vials of the Alzheimer's drug. He treats the other apes to increase their intelligence.

The drug, ALZ-113, is a big success on the apes, but it has a different effect on humans. It creates a contagious disease. Those who are infected cough blood and soon die.

What makes this film so appealing is that the apes are the good guys. In the first two films they were portrayed as evil, with very few exceptions. In this film the humans are mostly bad, while the apes are all good. Am I cheering on the demise of the human race? Maybe. But it's only a film. Isn't it?

Success Rate:  + 3.2

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Royal Warriors (5 Stars)

When reviewing "Raging Fire", made in 2021, I praised Hong Kong police films. They're not a new phenomenon. "Royal Warriors" was made in 1986, and it has all the trademark mix of martial arts and gunfights. If anything, it's even more over-the-top than the newer films.

Three policemen from different departments meet on a plane flying from Tokyo to Hong Kong. Michelle Yip is a Hong Kong detective returning home from vacation. Michael Wong is an undercover air marshal. Yamamoto is an Interpol agent accompanying a criminal who's been extradited to Hong Kong.

Hijackers attempt to free the criminal by taking control of the plane. Was it so easy to smuggle guns onto a plane in 1986? The three heroes defeat them in a breath-taking battle. After arriving in Hong Kong they work together, although I'm not sure how that's possible.

What they didn't know is that the criminal and one of the hijackers belonged to a gang of four blood brothers who survived the war (which one?) and promised to remain together until death. "We live together or we die together!" They hunt for the three policemen, killing dozens of innocent bystanders in their attacks.

I groaned when I saw the plaque on Michael Wong's coffin. Don't they know how to spell Michael? Oops, that's a spoiler!

But 10 minutes later we see the coffin again, and the plaque has been put right. I'm happy that the director noticed his mistake, but he should at least he should have been consistent and gone back to reshoot the first scene. It couldn't have been that difficult. Maybe he thought nobody would notice. He didn't reckon with me.

By the way, the director/screenwriter wasn't very imaginative with the character names. Michelle Yip was played by Michelle Yeoh. Okay. And Michael Wood was played by Michael Wood. What a coincidence!

It's a high octane action film from beginning to end. There's none of the humour that tainted Michelle Yeoh's previous film, "Yes, Madam". I said that this film is more over-the-top. Michelle Yeoh even drives a tank to fight the gang members.

Michelle Yeoh was a cute looking girl at 23.

And now she's a fine lady. She's always been a talented actress, but she had to wait another 37 years to hold an Oscar in her hand to prove it.

Tomb of the Werewolf (4 Stars)

Yes, I know the title on the Blu-ray cover says "The Unliving", but I prefer to call the film by its original title, "Tomb of the Werewolf". After years of begging, Fred Olen Ray has finally released it on Blu-ray. It's a treat for any of the fans of Paul Naschy and gothic horror.

I'm in a bad way today. I'm suffering from flu and have a throbbing headache, so I can't write much about the film. Here's the summary from the back cover.

And here's a photo of the beautiful Beverly Lynne. It was her first film with Fred Olen Ray, after which she became a regular.

After "Tomb of the Werewolf" she appeared in another 15 films directed by Fred Olen Ray, followed by six films directed by Dean McKendrick.

It's also worth mentioning that this is the first film that the majestic Evan Stone made with Fred Olen Ray. He made another 14 films after this.

A wonderful film. But now I'm going to bed. Goodnight, all.

La Chispa de la Vida (4 Stars)

I buy every film made by Alex de la Iglesia. You know that. He's my favourite European director. I don't understand why he hasn't achieved more popularity outside Spain. "La Chispa de la Vida" was made in 2011, but I haven't been able to buy it until now. The first Blu-ray release didn't have English subtitles. The new release corrected this error.

What I like most about Alex's films is the zany humour, often mixed with satire. "La Chispa de la Vida" surprised me, and not in a good way. The first 15 minutes are painfully boring. It's about a marketing executive, Roberto Gomez, who's looking for a job after being unemployed for two years. No humour at all. He rushes from interview to interview, asking for favours from old friends, but nobody wants him. His biggest success was at the start of his career. When he was 17 he created the advertising slogan for Coca-Cola, "La Chispa de la Vida", engl. "Life's little spark". This is what propelled him into his career, but what we see when we read between the lines is that it was just luck. He didn't have the skill to create slogans on a regular basis.

Roberto's wedding anniversary is coming up, and he wants to spend it in the hotel where he went for his honeymoon. He wants it to be a surprise, so he drives to Cartagena without telling his wife. The hotel isn't a hotel any more, it's become a museum. A Roman arena was discovered next to the hotel, so the museum was built as the entrance to the arena. Roberto falls off a platform, and a metal bar pierces his skull, driving deep into his brain. See the X-Ray picture. This was so horrible that I felt it in my stomach. I wanted to turn away. It wasn't a nice sight.

At this point I felt like turning  off the film. It was stomach-churning. Fortunately, I remained in front of my television. This was the turning point.

Roberto is still alive and able to communicate. The pain is bearable, despite having a metal rod in his brain. Doctors come and say it's too dangerous to move him. They have to operate where he's lying. But Roberto has an idea. He's lying in an arena surrounded by onlookers. It's the main news on every television channel. So why not make money from it? He rings his former colleagues from advertising companies, and they're excited. They want an interview with him. They say they'll pay him 20,000 Euros if he survives, or two million Euros if he dies.

This is sick humour, but highly entertaining. It was enough to make me forgive the slow beginning. We see how greed is stronger than wanting to save a person's life. It's an unusual film, in which the main character is shown lying on his back for almost all the film. Like Tim Roth in "Reservoir Dogs", except Roberto isn't screaming in pain. He's on his phone, making deals to become rich from his injury. If he survives.

I'm sure I'll watch it again, but next time I'll be prepared. I'll have a strong drink in my hand when the ugly scene happens.

Beneath the Planet of the Apes (5 Stars)

This is a direct sequel to "Planet of the Apes", released two years later in 1970. The first three minutes are a recap of the final minutes of the first film. Theoretically, they could be edited together into a single film.

The premise is that two years later (in 1974) a second spaceship has been sent into the future to rescue Taylor and his crew. That's a very questionable premise. If they believe Taylor has travelled 700 years into the future, how is it possible to bring him back? As I wrote in my review of the first film, it's necessary to suspend disbelief.

The only survivor of the second ship is Brent. He meets Nova, who's wearing Taylor's dog tags. She can't understand his language, but he makes her understand that he wants help finding Taylor. They set off together on horseback.

Nova guides Brent to the ape city. It's a long, hard journey.

If Nova could speak she'd ask Brent, "Is that a riding crop in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

In the city Brent sees General Ursus addressing the other apes.

The apes are divided into castes, based on their race. The orangutans are the leaders.

The gorillas are the warriors.

The chimpanzees are the scientists.

The three groups react differently. The gorillas cheer everything that Ursus says. The orangutans carefully discuss his words. The chimpanzees sit in silence.

The general's suggestion, which is accepted by all, is that an expedition should be sent into the Forbidden Zone to see if anyone lives there. Almost all accept it. Only Zira objects, but her fiancé Cornelius tells her to at least pretend to agree.

Brent enters the home of Cornelius and Zira. At first they think he's Taylor, because all humans look the same to them. They help him to escape from the ape city, once more accompanied by Nova. They try to reach the Forbidden Zone before the gorillas arrive.

Brent finds the entrance to an underground city. He's surrounded by the remnants of the New York subway, such as Queensboro Plaza. Taylor reached the city before him, but Nova wasn't able to explain. He's interviewed by humans who've developed telepathic abilities. They can project their thoughts into his head, and they can also control him. First they make him attack Nova, and then Taylor. As they tell him, "We are a peaceful people. We don't kill our enemies. We get our enemies to kill each other". That's the line of dialogue I'll always remember from the film.

Despite their high intelligence, the human community is under the yoke of religious superstition. They worship an atomic bomb that was made 2000 years ago. It was a doomsday bomb, capable of destroying all life on Earth with a single explosion. Fanatics should never be in control of weapons of mass destruction. Sooner or later, something bad will happen. 

Does something bad happen? I'll keep that a secret from the 0.1% of my readers who haven't seen the film.

Okay, maybe I'll tell you the worst thing that happens. Nova is shot by the gorillas.

She'll never go horseback riding again. 

Nova was played by the beautiful actress Linda Harrison. For reasons unknown to me, she never became successful. She only had minor parts in films and television series for the next 20 years, after which she disappeared. She's only remembered for appearing in the first two Planet of the Apes films.

I've written elsewhere that I consider "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" better than the first film. After watching the two films back to back, I can't be sure. They're both brilliant films, but maybe the first film is slightly better. It's difficult to say.

Success Rate:  + 5.6

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Planet of the Apes (5 Stars)

In preparation for "Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes", the fourth film in the rebooted series, I'm going to watch the older films. Not all of them. The first two films were masterpieces. The third, "Escape from the Planet of the Apes", was interesting, because it introduced a temporal paradox: an ape from the 40th century became the ancestor of the intelligent apes in the 20th century. The fourth and fifth films were uninspired, so I'll ignore them. After some thought I've decided to ignore the third film as well.

The sixth film, made in 2001, was a big budget remake of the 1968 film. It was okay, but unnecessary, so I'll skip it as well, and move straight to the seventh film that rebooted the franchise. 

"Planet of the Apes" was one of the best films of the 1960's, and in my opinion the best science fiction film. Many of my readers might prefer "2001: A Space Odyssey", which was released a month later, but I beg to disagree.

The film begins with a spaceship that's been sent to explore distant space. Despite needing 700 years for the journey, they'll only age one year, because of something called time dilation. Due to a miscalculation, they actually travel for 2000 years. Of the four crew members, only one survives. One dies in the ship, one is killed after landing, and the third is lobotomised. Taylor explores the planet, and he finds that it's ruled by intelligent apes. There are humans, but they have lesser intelligence, and they're unable to talk.

When he's captured, most of the apes want to kill Taylor. They're amazed that he's able to speak, so they want to cut him open and examine his brain. He's befriended by two chimpanzee scientists. He also links up with a human woman that he calls Nova. It's hinted that Taylor and Nova have a relationship. The chimpanzee Dr. Zira puts Nova in the same cage as Taylor, but we don't see what happens overnight.

In the original version of the film, Nova became pregnant with Taylor's child, but the studios rejected this and the later scenes of the film were reshot. Has this footage been lost forever? It would be good material to be used for Blu-ray extras.

Taylor and Zira even share a kiss. No tongue.

Taylor and Nova flee with Zira and her fiancé Cornelius into the Forbidden Zone, because Cornelius once did research and suspects it might provide clues about the planet's history. They're pursued by gorillas, accompanied by the orangutan Dr. Zaius, the Keeper Of The Faith. He's a hypocrite. He knows that there used to be intelligent humans on the planet, but he denies it, because it would be heresy. So many things in the film can be applied to our own culture.

Am I allowed to give a spoiler? The film is 55 years old, so I expect most people have either seen it or heard about it. Taylor and Nova ride away, and they find the Statue of Liberty. This distant planet is really the Earth. Over the last 2000 years apes have evolved and mankind has devolved.

If you sit and analyse the film you'll find many things that are illogical. You need to suspend disbelief. How do the apes speak English? Why do they use 20th century rifles? But it's still a masterpiece.

Success Rate:  + 3.7

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Autumn and the Black Jaguar (3½ Stars)

This is a film made by Gilles de Maistre. the director responsible for "Mia and the White Lion". As you can guess, it has the same premise: a young girl is friends with a dangerous animal. I had my doubts whether he would be successful repeating the same formula. I was right. This film isn't as good as the first.

Autumn is a girl who adopted a black jaguar while her family lived in Peru. Her mother was killed by poachers, but it was unable to identify them, so Autumn and her father moved back to New York. Three years later Autumn is told that Hope, the jaguar, is being hunted. Against the wishes of her father she takes a plane to Peru to save her old friend. For reasons unclear to me, her school teacher Anja travels with her. When Autumn and Anja arrive, their lives are in danger from wild animals and murderous poachers.

Compared to "Mia and the White Lion", this film is emotionally flat. We aren't given time to get to know Hope better. There's a lot of propaganda for animal protection, which I totally agree with, but too little care is put into writing a good story. Only the stunningly beautiful scenery has prevented me giving the film an even lower rating.

Madame Web (4 Stars)

I'm a Marvel fan. Everyone knows that. For this reason it breaks my heart that recent Marvel films haven't been as good as they used to be. Since 2021 I've only given one Marvel film, "Spider-Man: No Way Home", a five star rating. I rated all the other films two or three stars when I saw them in the cinema, but in retrospect I think I should have rated them lower. Marvel isn't what it used to be.

When I walked into the cinema to see "Madame Web" I was hoping it would be a masterpiece. I always do. I had no knowledge of the character. She wasn't introduced into the comics until the 1980's, at which time I hardly read any comics, so I didn't know her. I'll leave it to others to tell me whether or not she's accurately portrayed.

The film takes place in 1973 and 2003, at a time when neither Spider-Man nor any of the other super-heroes existed. Cassandra Web has random visions of things that will happen in the immediate future. A man called Ezekiel Sims has recurring dreams about three women who will kill him. He steals NSA software to search for these women, and he finds they're all still teenagers. He sets out to kill them, but Cassandra has visions of his threats and does all she can to protect them.

"Madame Web" isn't a bad film. It's better than "The Marvels", "The Eternals" and all the other films that have been made in the last three years. It's not a great film, but it's the first step towards recovery. I found Dakota Johnson convincing as the overworked paramedic Cassandra Web, and the three teenagers hanging out with her were refreshingly immature. It offers promise for a sequel.

Under The Skin (4 Stars)

I've mentioned before that my local cinema has a monthly "Best of Cinema" feature, in which a classic film is shown. There are actually three monthly features in which old films are shown:

Best Of Cinema: The first Tuesday every month. These classic films are usually at least 20 years old. They're films that are generally recognised as great films.

Cine Futuro: The second Monday every month. They're films which are supposedly an indicator of the future of cinema. They're usually relatively recent films from the last 10 years, sometimes only two years old. They're mostly films which are unknown.

Weird Wednesday: The third Wednesday every month. They're films which are intended to shock the viewer. They're mostly low budget horror films.

I try my best to visit every "Best of Cinema" and "Weird Wednesday" film. I'm picky with "Cine Futuro", but "Under the Skin" is a film I couldn't afford to miss. It was a bold film for Scarlett Johansson. She made it just as she was beginning to break through and become recognised as an A-List actress. It's possible that she would have turned down the film five years later.

Despite being a relatively low budget film, it still lost money. Before the film was shown today we were given some background information. The German distributors bought the rights to the film on the basis of Scarlett Johansson's popularity, but when they saw it they decided not to release it. They thought the film was too cerebral and wouldn't be understood by cinema audiences.

Do I understand it? Not really. The things that happen seem very random. There are two aliens in Scotland, in and around Glasgow. The female picks up men and kills them. The male cleans up after her. We can only speculate on the reason for this. Is it for food? Is it to absorb their knowledge? Your guess is as good as mine.

If you read the film reviews, you'll see that everyone has a different opinion about the film's meaning. The director Jonathan Glazer seems to have remained out of the discussions. The film is based on a book, but only loosely. The book can't be used to explain the film. It's all about the atmosphere and the imagery.

After the film we were offered a glass of Sekt (German champagne) in the foyer while we stood discussing the film. We didn't come to any conclusions, but we were all impressed by what we'd seen. The future of cinema? Not really. I doubt anything like it will be made again.

Success Rate:  - 1.8

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Spider-Man (5 Stars)

This is the second film I presented tonight for the theme "Do you remember the days when Marvel films were good?" In my opinion, it's the best Marvel film ever. Many people claim that the second film, "Spider-Man 2", is better. I can see what they mean. The action scenes in the second film are better. I prefer the first film for its greater emotional depth. But I'll think it over again next time I watch "Spider-Man 2". Maybe I've placed it too low in my top 100 films list. 

After watching the film today I praised Sam Raimi for making the main villain corny. An example is the way Willem Dafoe holds a speech while looking at the vial in his hand which will transform him into the Green Goblin. Then he drinks it fast, dramatically, before smashing the empty vial on the floor. My German friends didn't understand the word corny, and I couldn't translate it. Google translates it as kitschig, but that's obviously wrong. Is it an English word that has no equivalent in German, the same as English has no word for gemütlich? Back home, it took me a long time to think it over, but eventually I came to klischeehaft as a translation for corny. It's not as common in German as corny in English, but it expresses the same meaning.

When writing about "Howard the Duck" I pointed out the beautiful actress Jorli McLain in a minor role. I'll do the same for "Spider-Man". There's an unnamed lab assistant in one of the first scenes. Her role is so minor that she isn't even listed in the credits. But I recognised her immediately. She's the beautiful South Korean actress Una Damon. She's never had a breakthrough. Throughout her career she's only had small roles in films and television series. That's a tragedy.

Here's one more photo of her. She's beautiful.

Success Rate:  + 3.9

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