Jurassic Park (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #12

Blogging is all about momentum. For years I've been used to my daily rhythm of watching a film every day, then writing about it.

Watch. Write. Sleep. Repeat.

What I'm trying to say is that after taking a short break from blogging it's difficult to regain my momentum. I took a break last week to catch up on watching TV series. I watched the third season of "Vikings". At first I only wanted to watch a couple of episodes, but it's so brilliant that I couldn't stop. The murder of the monk Athelstan by Floki was a shock. For me, Athelstan was the series' most fascinating character. A man caught between two religions. As he said at the beginning of the third season, "I love Jesus, but I've chosen Odin". The whole subject of the two religions, along with the strong character development, is what makes "Vikings" so appealing. The Vikings and the English both consider their respective religions to be the true religion, and there's no way for the two to meet, except for Athelstan. His murder has destroyed the only bridge between the two religions.

Today, most people only know the Norse religion – what's it called anyway? Odinism? – from the Marvel films. Odin is Anthony Hopkins with an eye patch and Thor is Chris Hemsworth strutting about arrogantly. I read the Norse myths as a young teenager. I read them as stories, not taking account of the religious aspects.

Maybe I should write more about "Vikings" at a later date. Maybe when I get to the fourth season. I'm getting off topic now. I ought to be writing about "Jurassic Park". Did you forget?

Oops! Wrong dinosaur! I had this unused screenshot from "Bikini Jones" that I needed to share with you.

This is a dinosaur from "Jurassic Park". The difference in quality might not be apparent from the two screenshots. To fully appreciate the superiority of the computer animation, you have to see the dinosaurs moving. When the film was made in 1993, "Jurassic Park" had the most realistic dinosaurs ever. However, due to the restrictions in computer speed, they were used sparingly. 

Steven Spielberg might not be my favourite director, but I respect him as the greatest living director. He knows how to make films, and a Film Studies course could be wrapped around his films without mentioning any other director. In the series "Dawson's Creek" the title character, Dawson Leery, was obsessed with Steven Spielberg. He made frequent references to his films throughout the series, and his dream was to become a director like Spielberg. His films all include strong character development. There's a Spielberg Style, as I like to call it. His films start off with an action scene to get the audience in the mood. Then the films slow down, introducing the main characters, one by one. After that there's a slow build up to the big action scenes. That's the pattern he follows in "Jurassic Park". That's the pattern he followed in "Jaws". They're two excellent films, made 20 years apart, each using the best that the technology of the day had to offer.

The characters in the film are stereotypes. I don't say that as a criticism. By using standard stereotypes, the audience can relate to them. We know who they are and what makes them tick, even before we see the details of their characters. Dr. Alan Grant is a stuffy archaeologist. He would rather sit alone digging than communicate with others, and he avoids children as much as he can. Dr. John Hammond is the carefree millionaire. Dr. Ellie Sattler is a friendly, sociable palaeobotanist who assists Dr. Grant in his work. (For those of you who, like me, don't know what a palaeobotanist is, it's someone who studies old fossilised plants).

Then there are the kids. Dr.  Hammond's grandchildren are present in the dinosaur park, adding human interest. Everyone can relate to young children.

If anyone thinks this is the best film ever made, I won't argue with you. It's a candidate for the top spot. I have difficulty deciding which is better, "Jurassic Park" or its sequel, "Lost World", which I intend to watch tomorrow. "Lost World" has superior graphics, due to the rapid advances in computer technology in the 1990's, but "Jurassic Park" has a better story. Watching them back to back will help me judge them better.

Success Rate:  + 14.4

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The Foreigner (4 Stars)

Amazon Friday #13

This is the second time in two weeks that I've presented my Amazon Friday feature on a Sunday. My excuse is that I received the "Bikini Jones" Blu-ray in the post on Friday afternoon, and I was too excited to delay watching it. I know that's not a very good excuse, but it's all you're going to get from me.

"The Foreigner" is a 2017 political thriller starring Pierce Brosnan and Jackie Chan. It's the first film in which I've heard Pierce Brosnan speaking with an Irish accent.

Jackie Chan plays Ngoc Minh Quan, a Vietnam War veteran who's been living in London for 30 years and is now a British citizen. His teenage daughter Fan is killed in a bomb attack by a group that calls itself the Authentic IRA. They reject the 1998 Good Friday Agreement and want to resume the fight to expel the British from Northern Ireland.

Quan wants revenge. He visits the police repeatedly, waiting for hours, and demands that the case be dealt with speedily. The police can't help him, because it's an ongoing case and they still don't have suspects. After hearing Liam Hennessy, the Deputy Irish First Minister, speak on television about the attack, Quan turns his attention to him. Hennessy was a terrorist in the 1990's, but is now a respectable Sinn Fein politician who supports the peace process. He's promised to find the ones responsible, but Quan suspects he knows more than he's admitting.

Quan flies to Belfast and visits Hennessy's office, not leaving until he gets an appointment. Hennessy gives him the same story as the London police, but this time Quan increases the pressure. He plants a bomb in the toilet of Hennessy's building as a warning. He follows this up with bomb attacks on Hennessy's country house, where he lives with his wife. He takes photos of Hennessy with his mistress, so that he can blackmail him.

It's true, Hennessy doesn't know the identity of the bombers, but he suspects who they might be working for. While running from Quan's attacks, he puts pressure on his former terrorist contacts, trying to get someone to speak.

This is a fascinating film, untypical for Jackie Chan. Usually he plays the good guy, but in this case he acts illegally, doing whatever he can to get revenge on his daughter's killers. There are a few fight scenes, in which he shows off his martial arts skills, but the fighting isn't as exaggerated and over-the-top as in his other films. Nevertheless, he's more than a match for the security guards standing between him and Hennessy.

It's curious that "The Foreigner" was never shown in UK cinemas. Is the subject matter too sensitive? It still hasn't been released on disc in the UK, but you can buy it from America or Germany.

Success Rate:  + 1.0

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All Babe Network (4 Stars)

"All Babe Network" is the other film packaged with "Bikini Jones" on the new Blu-ray double feature from Retromedia. While watching it I didn't notice any immediate improvement over the quality of the DVD release, so I didn't take time to compare the two releases. However, on comparing my new screenshots with the ones I used in my old posts, I can see a big increase in quality. The Blu-ray is really worth buying, even if you already have the DVD.

This double feature isn't available from Amazon. It's sold exclusively by Makeflix. I don't know what the reason is for this, but I can guess. I assume that Makeflix pays Fred Olen Ray a larger percentage of the purchase price than Amazon. It's all about money, and Fred deserves to be rewarded for the wonderful films that he's given the world.

Most of the women in Dean McKendrick's films are topless or wear tops with a deep cleavage. Beverly Lynne doesn't need to do this. Even when she's modestly clothed, Eric Masterson can't take his eyes off her curves.

Of course, Beverly also shows off her cleavage when she wants to. People sometimes say that women are being used as sex objects when they show off their body. The opposite is the case. Women should dress however they want to. They should wear as little or as much as they want. That's an expression of their independence. No man and no religion should tell them what to wear.

Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (4 Stars)

This is the 23rd film in the Medina Collection, and it's the third film in the collection to be remastered for Blu-ray, after "Bikini Frankenstein" and "Twilight Vamps". I suspect that the "remastering" is a minimum, because the later Medina films were all filmed in HD. The early Medina films were filmed in SD, so they'll need more work to be presented on Blu-ray.

The film's title has been shortened to "Bikini Jones" on the box, but the splash screen still shows the original full title. I prefer the long title, because it's more of a parody of the Indiana Jones films.

The picture quality is amazing. I was so astounded after the first few minutes, that I had to pause the film and compare it with the DVD release. Christine Nguyen has never looked so beautiful. I can't wait to get all 32 Medina films on Blu-ray. I've spoken to the director, Fred Olen Ray, a few times, and he's hesitant. He needs to be sure there's a market for Blu-ray releases. He can't afford to lose money, so he's starting with the films that star Christine Nguyen, because her popularity guarantees sales. She appears in 14 of the films. I'd be sad if the other 18 are never released on Blu-ray.

"Bikini Jones" has been packaged as a double feature with "All Babe Network". That's a strange combination, because "All Babe Network" isn't a Medina film, it was directed by Dean McKendrick. What connects them is that they both star Christine Nguyen.

There are lots of other beautiful women in the Medina films. Just look at Rebecca Love!

There's also Brynn Tyler. Okay, this is her only appearance in the Medina films, but I think you see what I mean. All the women in the Medina films are incredibly beautiful. They all deserve to be seen in High Definition Blu-ray.

Three down, 29 to go. What film will be next?

Chatroom (3 Stars)

This is a British film made in 2010, directed by Hideo Nakata. It's his only English language film apart from "The Ring 2" (2005).

William's mother is a famous author of science fiction books. William feels neglected and unloved because she's named the hero of the books after his older brother. He's attempted suicide a few times, but he never had the courage to go through with it.

William has no friends. He spends all his spare time in online chat rooms. The film begins with him starting his own chat room, which he calls "Chelsea Teens". For those of you who don't know, Chelsea is a wealthy area in the centre of London.

After four teenagers join the room, he closes it to new members. It isn't specified how old the teenagers are, but they seem to be 17 to 18. Only one of them, Mo, is still at school. The others, including William, have left school early without A Levels. They might come from wealthy middle class families, but they're on the lower end of the education scale. All five of them are socially inept and live their lives in chat rooms. "Chelsea Teens" becomes their new home.

In the first conversations the teenagers are encouraged to get to know one another. They all have to answer the question "What do you hate most?" William demands honesty from the others, but he lies about himself. He says that his mother is dead.

As the film develops, we see that William has an agenda. To make up for his own inability to kill himself, he wants others to commit suicide. His primary target is Jim, whose father left him when he was eight. He claims to be giving him therapy, but he's actually encouraging him to kill himself.

Most of the film's action takes place on computer screens, but this isn't what we see. Hideo Nakata has made the decision to show the chat room as if it really exists in a dingy, poorly furnished hotel room. This is the way the teenagers imagine the room, not how it really is.

Despite the optics, there's nothing really original about the film. Teenagers bully one another online. That's exactly what they do in the real world. The only difference is that online bullying is with words, not with fists. A person who's weak in real life can be tough online. Nothing is as it seems.

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Die Nichten der Frau Oberst (1968 version) (3 Stars)

This is Erwin C. Dietrich's first version of "The nieces of the colonel's wife", the literal translation of the film's title. When it was released in America it was called "Guess who's coming for breakfast". That title actually makes sense, in the context of the film. The colonel's wife has no shortage of lovers. She enjoys casual affairs, but she turns down offers of marriage. She wants her nieces to get married, which is difficult, because they're more interested in one another than in men. After sleeping with a man, the colonel's wife invites him to breakfast to meet her nieces.

There are many differences between the two versions. I really should have watched them in the other order.

The 1968 film is set in the present, i.e. the 1960's. The 1980 film is a period piece that takes place in the 19th Century or earlier.

The colonel's wife is comfortably rich in the 1968 version, but in the 1980 version she's much wealthier.

There are only brief glimpses of nudity in the 1968 version, whereas the the 1980 version presents gratuitous nudity throughout.

The 1968 film tells us a lot about the men, whereas the 1980 film is told entirely from the women's perspective.

The 1968 film features a nephew called Sebastian who's missing in the 1980 film.

The 1968 version has a more detailed plot and is probably more faithful to Guy de Maupassant's story, on which the films are based.

In the 1968 film Florentine gets married to Alexander, one of her aunt's former lovers. It's an unhappy marriage, because he can't perform in bed, leaving her a virgin. It must be a psychological problem, because he had no trouble satisfying the colonel's wife.

In the 1968 film Julia has a boyfriend who's a rich nobleman. He's a pig. She wants to remain a virgin until marriage, so he tries to force himself onto her. He hits her whenever she says No. Eventually he leaves her, despite a lucrative offer from the colonel's wife: "You can sleep with me while you're waiting to get married to my niece". 

This was the most successful  film of Erwin C. Dietrich's career. It sold over five million tickets in the cinema in 1968. In comparison, the 1980 film was only moderately successful. I don't understand it. The 1980 film is much better, in my opinion. Maybe the 1968 film was just the right film at the right time.

Die Nichten der Frau Oberst (1980 version) (4 Stars)

This film is based on a short story by Guy de Maupassant. There are two versions of the film on the Blu-ray that I watched today. The first was made in 1968, the second in 1980. Both were directed by Erwin C. Dietrich. That's interesting. How often has a film been remade by the same director? I can only think of two other examples. Alfred Hitchcock made "The Man Who Knew Too Much" in 1934 and 1956. Jess Franco made "Eugenie" in 1970 and 1980. In both cases the director thought he could improve on the original. Neill Blomkamp has said that he wants to remake "Elysium" if it's possible to finance it. He says that the film has a lot of good ideas, but he's unhappy with the way it turned out.

It's not easy to translate the film's title. "Oberst" is a German military rank that has no direct equivalent in the American army. It's a high ranking officer, so it's usually translated as colonel. The story by Guy de Maupassant is called "The colonel's cousins", so I'll stick with colonel. "Frau Oberst" isn't a female colonel, the title refers to a colonel's wife. That means that the full title is "The nieces of the colonel's wife"; not cousins. When the film was released in America, no attempt was made to translate the title. Instead, it was called "Secrets of a French Maid". Ugh! That makes no sense at all in the context of the film. Yes, there is a maid, but (1) she's not French, and (2) she's a minor character with only five minutes screen time.

Foolishly, I watched the 1980 version first. I should have watched them the other way round. Sorry. I'll watch the 1968 version tomorrow.

The colonel's wife is a a young widow. She lives in a large mansion. The film takes place in a time when army officers were rich nobleman. It's probably the 18th or 19th Century. She has two young nieces in her care, and she's trying to find husbands for them.

Julia is played by the stunningly beautiful actress Brigitte Lahaie.

Florentine is played by Pascale Vital in her first film role.

The trouble is that Julia and Florentine are more interested in one another than in men. They're both still virgins. The colonel's wife encourages them to find men. They do what they're told. Julia has sex with the stable boy. He's not very intelligent, but he's good at sex. Florentine wants to have sex with the gardener, but she finds him so repulsive that it takes a few days before she can bring herself to do it.

The colonel's wife takes her responsibility as her nieces' legal guardian very seriously. She goes to bed with the stable boy and the gardener to test them. She wants to know whether they're good enough to satisfy her nieces.

At some point the plot breaks down. There are multiple sex scenes with various men and women. The colonel's wife has a large sexual appetite and devours every man she sees. Not just men, she also has sex with her maid.

This is a highly erotic film. The men in the film are just being used by the three women, especially the colonel's wife. It's not a film that won any Oscars, but it succeeded in its goal of presenting beautiful eye candy. The cinematography is outstanding. The scenery is tranquil and relaxing, emphasising the gentle erotic nature of the film.

The Suicide Squad (5 Stars)

I'll keep spoilers to a minimum, because this film is still in the cinemas. It's a film that you really have to see, even if you didn't like the first Suicide Squad film, which was called "Suicide Squad", without a definite article. That's confusing. There may be a subtle joke intended, but I don't get it.

A good friend, whose opinions on films I usually agree with, warned me in advance that this sequel is much better than the first film. That's the only sort of spoiler I appreciate with a new film. After watching the first 10 minutes I disagreed. A group of eight villains, of whom I only knew Harley Quinn and Captain Boomerang, were hurriedly united as a team. No character development. I groaned. Then they went into action, and within another five minutes they were all killed. Except for Harley Quinn. I was relieved. This was just the introduction to set up the film. The six new characters didn't need any character development, because they weren't going to be around long enough. Within the context of the film they were only intended as cannon fodder. None of them were expected to survive. Their only purpose was to distract the enemy from the arrival of a second team, the Suicide Squad. With a definite article. In a flashback sequence we get to know them all.

• Idris Elba is Bloodsport, a weapons expert.
• John Cena is Peacemaker, another weapons expert.
• Sylvester Stallone is King Shark.
• David Dastmalchian is Polka-Dot Man.
• Daniela Melchior is Ratcatcher 2.

I've been assured that they're all well known DC villains. I rarely read DC comics, so they're new to me. I'll leave it up to other reviewers to tell me whether they're accurate portrayals of the comic book characters.

The film has a glorious grindhouse aura about it. The gore is exaggerated, and it can't be taken seriously. I couldn't help laughing out loud at some of the deaths. I feel ashamed of myself, I should be able to control myself better.

The action scenes are ridiculously over-the-top. Robert Rodriguez would be proud to make a film like this.

Harley Quinn is prominent, but not to the extent she stood out in the first film. She's still magnificently crazy. My only regret is that for most of the film she doesn't wear her usual Harley Quinn costume.

The reason for the improvement over the first film can be summed up in two words: James Gunn. He's a far superior director to David Ayer, who made the first film. James Gunn already contributed to the Marvel Cinematic Universe as director of the two Guardians of the Galaxy films. They're both very good films, and he's getting better at making super-hero films as he goes along. I can hardly wait for "Guardians of the Galaxy 3".

Sonic the Hedgehog (4½ Stars)

Amazon Friday #12

Yes, I know it's Sunday. You don't have to remind me. I missed my Amazon Friday film two days ago, so I'm catching up now. The reason is simple. My son Benjamin was visiting me. He's also a member of Amazon Prime, so when he visits me he wants to watch one of my many films on Blu-ray. I picked "Horsemen of the Apocalypse" for him. I'd already selected "Sonic the Hedgehog" for Friday, so I'm watching it today. Better late than never. Isn't that what they say?

This is a comedy caper based on a video game. A blue hedgehog called Sonic flees from enemies on his homeworld and hides on Earth; specifically, he hides in Green Hills, Montana. He avoids detection for ten years, until one evening he accidentally creates an electromagnetic pulse while playing baseball with himself. There's a power outage in the whole of the Pacific North West region. The government calls for the eccentric scientist Dr. Robotnik to find the cause.

This is a wonderful film that kept me laughing from beginning to end. Jim Carrey's portrayal of Dr. Robotnik annoyed me at first, but I got used to it as the film progressed. I have to compare this film with "Godzilla vs Kong", which I watched in the cinema yesterday. The plot is just as infeasible, but in the context of a comedy it's acceptable. Despite being a comedy, all the main characters are fully developed. This is how a film should be made.

Success Rate:  + 1.8

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Godzilla vs Kong (3 Stars)

I have to see Godzilla films. I can't resist them. Something draws me to them, even though I'm usually disappointed.

Kong (he's not called King in this film series) has been kept prisoner deep underground in a giant holographic jungle since he was captured in "Skull Island". This is to protect him from Godzilla. There are legends of titans who lived on the Earth thousands of years ago. They were in constant battle with one another. If Kong is allowed to live on the surface, even on a remote island, Godzilla will track him down.

It's believed that the Earth is hollow, and Kong used to live with other giant apes below the surface. The company Monarch believes there's a power source in Hollow Earth, which can be used as a benefit to mankind. They ship Kong to Antarctica, the entrance to Hollow Earth, hoping he will lead them to the power source. This attracts Godzilla's attention, and a battle ensues.

Godzilla also attacks Hong Kong, where a giant mechanical Godzilla has been built. Yes, it's Mechagodzilla from the old Japanese films.

The film has hardly any character development. We don't know who the people are, and we don't care. The plot has zero credibility. It's just an excuse to see three giant monsters slugging it out. The film's title should have been "Godzilla vs Kong vs Mechagodzilla". If that's all you want from a film, you'll enjoy it. I prefer a well written story.

Horsemen of the Apocalypse (4 Stars)

This is a detective story, but it involves so much gore that you might consider it to be a horror film. Maybe it really is a horror film. It depends on your definition.

The film takes place in Chicago, although most of the film was shot in Canada. A hunter finds a bowl on a frozen lake containing a person's teeth. The words "Come and see" are written on nearby trees. The detective Aidan Breslin is called to investigate the case because of his expertise in dental forensics. A short time later a woman is found hanging from a metal rack by hooks, with the words "Come and see" painted on the four walls surrounding her. After this another man is found also hanging from a rack by hooks. He's the man whose teeth were found on the lake.

This seems like a standard murder mystery, despite the extreme gore, but at this point the investigation takes an unusual turn. Kristen Spitz, the adopted daughter of the female victim, confesses to having participated in her mother's murder. This isn't because of remorse. She's taunting the detective. She tells him there are four horsemen, based on the prophecy in Revelation 6. Kristen represents the second horseman, War. She gives him clues to help him find the other three, but every time the police have a suspect he's found dead. Kristen is the only one who knows what's happening, but the information she gives isn't enough for Detective Breslin to solve the case.

This is a fascinating film, and I enjoyed watching the mystery unfold, but I found the plot twist in the final scene unsatisfying. It seemed like an anti-climax. Watch the film yourself to see what I mean.

Success Rate:  - 8.3

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Batman (1966 version) (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #13

This is the first and best Batman film. That's my opinion, and nothing will make me change my mind. It's a spin off of the Batman TV series. It was filmed immediately after the end of the first season. It's obvious from comparing the film with the TV series that more money was invested. The production quality is better, and there are more extras.

There's one place that extra money wasn't invested: Adam West's salary. He says that he was paid $60 for making the film. No, I didn't forget a few zeroes. Sixty dollars. That wasn't much money, even in 1966. He was badly exploited. Even though he was given free food and a trailer to live in, it's shameful. He was locked into a contract with the television studio. In late 1965 he was unemployed and desperate for work, so he accepted the job playing Batman for $20 a week, plus food and accommodation. The film was made as part of the same contract, and the filming lasted three weeks: sixty dollars.

Adam West also didn't receive royalties for the many, many repeat showings of the series on television. The series was made before actors were eligible for royalties. A contract guaranteeing royalties wasn't signed until 1974, and it only covered series broadcast for the first time after that date.

In later years Adam West laughed about it. Even though he hardly earned any money at the time, "Batman" made him rich. It made him famous, and it gave him the opportunity to earn money from guest appearances in later television shows.

The film stars not one, not two, not three, but four of Batman's best known villains. Burgess Meredith appears as the Penguin, Frank Gorshin as the Riddler and Cesar Romero as the Joker. Julie Newmar, who played Catwoman in the series, was unable to appear due to a back injury, so she was replaced by Lee Meriwether.

Lee Meriwether is a very good replacement. She has the same sultry beauty as Julie Newmar, and they have similar figures. Despite having sharp claws, she doesn't get involved in fights. She lets her three villainous partners throw all the punches. She caries a whip, but she doesn't use it.

Frank Gorshin is brilliant as the Riddler. He had the same zany sense of humour in real life. While his three fellow villains plan crimes, he puts all his effort into riddles that can be given as clues. For instance:

Q: "What weighs six ounces, sits in a tree and is very dangerous?"

A: "A sparrow with a machine gun".

It's obvious, isn't it?

The Joker jumps around laughing, usually at his own diabolical plans.

I have to apologise for this screenshot of the Penguin. I dislike smoking intensely, so I've avoided posting photos of cigarettes since I started this blog. Even when smoking is important to the plot, such as in "Basic Instinct", I haven't posted photos of cigarettes. I've made an exception in this case, because the Penguin always has a cigarette in his mouth on the end of that stick. What's it called?

Robin is furious with the villains. "How dare you try to conquer the world! Did you know that Batman is only getting paid $60 to stop you?"

The film is ridiculously over-the-top. It can't be taken seriously. That's what makes it so good.

Success Rate:  + 0.8

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At the time of writing this post, there are problems with the availability of this film. It's either very expensive or impossible to buy at all. I recommend that you buy the German Blu-ray, which includes the original English dialogue.

Touch of Evil (4 Stars)

Today I watched the 1996 "restored version" after watching the theatrical version two weeks ago. The differences aren't as extreme as I expected. In comparison, more has been removed from the theatrical version than has been inserted. From what I read, the changes made by Aaron Stell were intended to make the film easier to understand. I don't see what the big deal is. I wouldn't have any problems understanding the restored version.

Having said that, I have to say that I greatly enjoyed the film. The story is fascinating, and I like the atmosphere of the 1950's border towns. My main criticism, as in the theatrical version, is that the comedy scenes with Anthony Perkins are out of place in the otherwise dark film. I believe that his scenes are slightly longer in the restored version.

Charlton Heston plays his role to perfection. He even looks Mexican! He does a commentary track on the restored version. It would be interesting to listen to it. Soon.

Success Rate:  + 0.7

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Faster Pussycat Kill Kill (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #14

Varla lives!

Varla is probably the most evil woman ever shown in a film. Evil women shouldn't die, they should carry on killing forever. This is a film that needed a sequel, if any film ever did, but it was made in 1965, long before psychotic killer movies were popularised by "Halloween".

Beautiful but deadly. Look, but don't touch. She doesn't need a knife to kill a man, she can use her bare hands. She has a black belt in karate, as well as being proficient in aikido. The film is effective because the actress is playing herself. Her birth name was Tura Yamaguchi, but she changed her name to Tura Satana. It figures.

Kirk is playing with fire. Varla's hands aren't made for gentle caresses.

And now Kirk is staring into the pit of Hell.

The only time Varla smiles is when a man is suffering. Or dead.

Varla lives!

Archive (2 Stars)

This is an English science fiction film made in 2020. It was originally planned for cinema release, but it was released straight-to-video because of the Coronavirus lockdowns.

The film takes place in 2038. Archive is the name of a technology that extends a person's consciousness after death. The body of a dead person is preserved in cold storage and connected to a computer system that allows people to communicate with him via video calls. Depending on the rate of decay, this is possible for between a few days and a few months. As soon as the communication stops, the body has to be buried.

Theo James is an expert in artificial intelligence. He's given a job to build a life-like robot with full artificial intelligence. He has to work alone in a large laboratory in Japan. Shortly before he begins the job his wife is killed in a car accident. He takes her body with him and keeps in contact with her using Archive.

Instead of creating a completely artificial intelligence, Theo hacks into the Archive system and finds a way to copy his dead wife's brainwaves. He uses her brain pattern as the template for his robots. He hides this from his employer, because it's illegal.

The first robot, which he calls J-1, is only a partial success. It has the mental development of a five-year-old. His second attempt, J-2, has his wife's personality, despite being somewhat immature. Theo estimates that she has the mental development of a 15-year-old. This prompts him to build a third robot, J-3, with a humanoid form. She'll be a full replacement for his wife.

Well, almost a full replacement. She still needs some makeup and a good wig.

Theo is working against the clock. He has to finish J-3 before his wife's body decays and her consciousness is no longer available in Archive. Added to his problems, J-2 is in love with him and wants to prevent J-3 replacing her.

There are also problems with his employer suspecting his deception.

This is a very intelligent science fiction film. Unfortunately, I don't like it. The trouble is that the film has too many ideas. Too many things are happening. There are too many new technologies vying for the viewer's credibility. A film doesn't have to be complicated to be good.

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