Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters (3 Stars)

As you can see if you compare this post with my last two reviews of "Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters", my ratings aren't always consistent. I change my mind. It often depends on my mood when I watch a film. If I think a film is absolutely brilliant the first time I see it, it will always get a five star rating, however many times I watch it. On the other hand, if a film is merely good to average, my rating can oscillate between three and four stars. Three stars is the lowest rating I've given to the film so far.

I'll always remember this film as the beginning of a new period in my life. It was the first film that I went to see with the Birmingham Film Group on 27th February 2013. Until then I'd watched films almost exclusively at home. My daughter Fiona, who still lived with me at the time, suggested that I look online for a film group in Birmingham. She was worried that I was becoming a hermit. It was one of the best suggestions that she ever made to me. I finally developed a social life.

At the film group I met Mike McAuley, the group's leader. Over the next months we became close friends. I'd go as far as to say he was one of my best friends. A year later I became a co-host in the film group. We made it a routine that I hosted one film a week (usually on Wednesday) and Mike hosted one film a week (usually on Sunday). In addition, he frequently hosted social meetings on Saturdays, which I always attended. It was usual for Mike and I to be the last ones to leave.

Mike was disappointed when I said I was moving to Germany in 2016. He tried to talk me out of it, for several reasons. Firstly, he thought that the film group would suffer without my help. Secondly, he would miss me as a friend. I wasn't his best friend, but those that he considered his best friends all lived in different parts of the country. A possible third reason, which he didn't state directly, was that he felt that I was betraying my country by leaving. Maybe I'm wrong about this, because I'm basing this opinion on remarks he made while he was drunk.

Time went by. Four years. I stayed in touch with Mike, speaking with him regularly on Facebook, and I visited him whenever I was in England. In Germany I formed a new film group in Stuttgart. Then the Coronavirus lockdowns started. Mike organised online meetups for social purposes or to watch films, so I was an active participant in his group once more. Then something strange happened. Mike started to send me rude messages on Facebook, usually late at night. I shrugged them off, because I assumed he'd been drinking. Then the following conversation took place on my timeline:

As you can see, I was being polite and understanding with him, but he was totally crazy. In the following conversation my friends jumped to my defence. They confirmed that I'd never said I wanted Boris Johnson to die. My friends all know that I'm a strong supporter of Boris Johnson. I consider him to be the best prime minister the UK has had in the last 30 years.

At first I thought Mike McAuley had made a mistake. However, the matter escalated further. He began to spread lies about me on his Facebook timeline. He unfriended me to stop me reading what he was writing, but my friends sent me screenshots of the conversations. For instance:

This is interesting for a few reasons. First, he's backed away from saying that I wanted Boris Johnson to die. This is probably because too many people told him it wasn't true. He's gone on to accuse me of hate speech in general. My friends know that I never indulge in hate speech of any form, but anyone who doesn't know me might believe him.

Secondly, who is Phil Murtagh? I don't know him, and he's certainly never been on my Facebook friends list. How can someone who doesn't know me call me racist or bigoted? It's possible he's confused me with another Mike.

Thirdly, Andy Pettitt (who is Mike's best friend) says I've been warned repeatedly. What's he talking about? When was I ever warned about wanting Boris Johnson or any other politician to die? Andy was one of my Facebook friends, so I sent him a message asking him about it. Instead of replying, he unfriended me immediately. I can understand him taking Mike's side as his best friend, but I'm disappointed that he didn't have the moral integrity to look into the matter and find out what Mike was talking about.

So what's it all about? It's not about Boris Johnson or racism. The problem must lie elsewhere. I think it had to do with my recent appearances in the online meetups. I talked with the people, mostly new members who hadn't been in the group in 2016, and they liked me. This bothered Mike. To explain this I need to go back to 2013. 

On one of our first meetings Mike McAuley boasted to me that he'd had sex with 300 women. I was impressed, but when he left the room one of the other group members said, "It's not true. That's what he tells everyone to make himself sound special". In the following years I realised it was something he often repeated, so I just smiled and nodded, winking at anyone else who was listening.

When I became a co-host of the film group, many people who only visited during the week met me first and considered me the group's leader. Eventually they met Mike, and I told them he was Big Mike, I was only Little Mike. But they still confided in me. One of the members, Elisha, complained to me that Mike had been sexually harassing her by text. I told her that he often misbehaves when he's drunk, but she wasn't happy with my excuse and left the group. A few months later it happened again. Emma, a very good friend of mine, complained that Mike had been sexually harassing her. Once more I told her that he was drunk, but she said that the text messages came early in the day, so he couldn't have been drunk. Emma broke off her friendship with me because I was defending Mike. After I left England in 2016 my daughter Fiona joined the group, and the same happened with her. Mike was sending her sexual messages less than a week before his wedding. This time I spoke to Mike, and he denied it. Fiona sent me screenshots to prove it was true. She also left the film group.

Mike knew by now that women were telling me about him. He'd wanted me to remain in England for the sake of his group, but now that I was gone he wanted me to stay away. I wouldn't have made a connection, but after the initial arguments with Mike in Facebook another two women came forward and told me Mike had sexually harassed them. One of them, Anne, had left the group immediately. The other has remained in the group, and she's asked me not to name her. Anne thinks that Mike only harasses women to make up for his inadequacy at hardly ever having had sex.

I think it's sad that things have turned out like this. For seven years Mike McAuley was one of my best friends. Now he's decided to spread lies about me. This post tells the truth, for anyone who's willing to listen. Despite everything, I don't bear a grudge. If Mike apologises to me in public, everything will be forgiven.

Success Rate:  + 2.5

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Duel of Fists (3 Stars)

This is a Chinese film, made in 1971. With the exception of the opening scenes, it's filmed on location in Bangkok. It's been released with different titles over the years, including "Fan Chu" and "The Chinese Connection". The latter name is confusing, because several films have been released with this title.

Fan Chu is an engineer on a Hong Kong building site. He's called to the death bed of his father, who owns a martial arts school. His father tells him that shortly after he got married he was on business in Bangkok and had an affair with a young woman. A baby was born that he's never seen. His dying wish is for Fan Chu to meet his brother, who's now 23 years old. He doesn't know his son's name, he just knows that he's a Thai Boxer. It's weird for a jilted lover to keep her son's name secret but to give information about his career. It's a necessary construction for the plot, but it's very artificial. The only way Fan Chu will be able to recognise his brother is by a tattoo on his arm. That's another artificial construction, and it would never have been a help if the missing brother were working in an office.

The viewer is shown Fan Chu's brother, Wenlie. He's a highly gifted Thai Boxer, but he's being harassed by a gang boss called Xu who wants to become his new manager, so he can rig his matches. The reigning champion is Cannon, who also works for Xu. He's famous for killing his opponents in the ring.

Fan Chu arrives in Bangkok and soon meets Wenlie, but he doesn't know it's him while he's fully dressed. It isn't until he attends a boxing match between Wenlie and Cannon that he knows it's his brother.

This is the weakest Shaw Brothers film I've seen so far. The plot is infeasible from beginning to end. Added to this, David Chiang, the actor who plays Fan Chu, isn't realistic as a martial arts fighter. I don't know whether this is because he's lacking skill or the choreography is poor. The fights just don't look like fights, they look like a third rate ballet. Wenlie's fights, which are in a completely different fighting style, look more realistic.

Here are a few lobby cards from the film's British release as "The Chinese Connection".

This film has been released in Germany on Blu-ray with English and German subtitles.

Deadpool 2 (5 Stars)

This week I finally bought myself a 4K resolution television set. I've been using the standard 1080p resolution since December 2008. I had a 32" television from 2008 to 2012, a 42" television from 2012 to 2016 and a 40" television from 2016 to 2020, all with a 1080p resolution, The downgrade in 2016 was necessitated by moving to Germany. I couldn't take my television with me, so when I arrived in Germany I used the television that was already available.

My new television is 43". Ideally I would have preferred to buy a larger television with OLED technology, the current state of the art, but my space is limited. In my room I have to sit about 1.80 meters away from the screen, so a larger television set would be overkill.

After extensive research, I decided that this television was the best available at this size. At first I was disappointed that the frame is white. Every flatscreen television I've ever owned has a black frame. However, after a few hours sitting in front of it I've grown used to its appearance.

I bought the television from Amazon. I wanted to delay buying a 4K Blu-ray player, but once I had the television in front of me I was impatient. My old Blu-ray player wasn't good enough for me. I jumped on the bus and went to Saturn, an electronics store in Stuttgart city centre. I'd already decided on the Sony UBP-X700 Blu-ray player. It's not the best Blu-ray player on the market, but it's the best in its price range. At Saturn the Blu-ray player costs 25 Euros more than Amazon's price, but they offer a price match guarantee, so I bought it for Amazon's price.

After experimenting with snippets of films on Netflix and Amazon Prime, I finally sat down to watch my first full film with the new equipment. I picked "Deadpool 2", the theatrical version. It's a standard Blu-ray, so it was upscaled to 4K, and the picture was perfect. I currently only own one 4K Blu-ray, "John Wick 2", because the multi-format package (Blu-ray plus 4K) was the same price as the standard Blu-ray alone. I'll have to watch it some time in the next few days.

Success Rate:  + 4.7

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The Promise [1994] (4 Stars)

This is a German film, made in 1994. Maybe a better title for the film would be "The Broken Promise", because it tells the story of a love affair unable to survive due to the cruelty of the Berlin Wall.

The story is told in four episodes, in the years 1961, 1968, 1980 and 1989. The story begins in East Berlin in December 1961, four months after the construction of the Berlin Wall. Five teenagers, three boys and two girls, plan to escape through the sewers into West Berlin. One of the boys, Konrad, decides at the last moment to stay behind and put the manhole cover back to help his friends escape. His girlfriend Sophie is among the others. They want to stay in touch, but their letters are blocked by the German secret police. They send messages via friends who visit East Berlin from the West.

Separation makes their love grow stronger. In 1968 Konrad is a highly gifted astrophysics graduate student, while Sophie works as a translator. They finally meet again in Prague. Konrad is to speak at a conference, so Sophie takes a holiday in the city. Sophie says that she loves Konrad so much that she wants to remain with him in Prague. They're caught up in the protests of the Prague Spring. They witness with their own eyes how Russian shoulders shoot the peaceful protestors. Sophie is arrested as a Western spy and sent back to West Germany. She's told that she'll never be allowed to visit any country in the Soviet block ever again. But Sophie has a lasting gift from Konrad: she's pregnant.

Can the relationship survive when the two have been forbidden to see one another ever again? Sophie's son Alexander needs a father, so she marries a French journalist. Konrad also gets married and has a daughter. His career advances over the next 12 years. He becomes a university professor. Eventually he's allowed to visit West Berlin to speak at a scientific congress. He meets his son for the first time. Over the next few months Alexander is allowed to visit East Berlin on a regular basis, without his mother.

Konrad's sister has become a church leader in East Berlin. She's a vocal opponent of the government. The secret police, the Stasi, want her to leave the country, so they ask Konrad to persuade her. When he refuses, Alexander is no longer allowed to visit him. Konrad loses his job at the university and is forced to work as a coal miner.

1989. The Wall is opened. Alexander hurries to the East to visit his father again. Together they visit Sophie. The meeting is at the same time moving and tragic. Despite being married to other people, they still have feelings for one another. They had a strong love, but the Wall has separated them for 28 years.

The film is beautifully lavish, with opulent music in the first two episodes. As the film continues the music becomes silent. The love dies, and so does the music. In truth, the love doesn't die completely, it just dies down, waiting to come back when the circumstances improve; as they do, but possibly too late. The film ends with questions left open.

The Berlin Wall was a tragedy. I spent a year in West Berlin, from 1976 to 1977, and it was all people talked about. East-West romances are a common topic for German films. Usually they're sad stories with a happy ending. "The Promise" has no happy ending. It's brutally realistic.

You only live twice (4½ Stars)

This is the fifth James Bond film, made in 1967. In my opinion, it's the best film in the series so far. It's beginning to display the camp elements that made the films outstanding works of art.

The film's title refers to the fact that James Bond fakes his death in the opening scenes. This has nothing to do with the rest of the film, except to set up MI6 as having a new headquarters on a submarine. We were told in the previous films that James Bond had previously been a member of the Royal Navy, but we now see him in a naval uniform for the first time.

Even Miss Moneypenny is shown wearing a naval uniform. This seems rather ridiculous, but it doesn't bother me. It's just part of the film's camp nature.

In this film we finally see the face of the mysterious Number One, after only seeing his hands in the previous films. He introduces himself as Ernst Stavro Blofeld, which only means something to those who've read Ian Fleming's novels. He's played by Donald Pleasance, who was a superb choice for the role. Just look at his evil stare in this photo. It's sad that he didn't return and was replaced by other actors in the following films.

Blofeld has a fiendish plan to conquer the world. He's stealing the rockets that America and Russia are shooting into space. They're swallowed by his own spacecraft, which is far superior to anything America or Russia is able to build. He knows that the two countries will blame one another, so his intention is to provoke a nuclear war between the two countries. He is sitting out of harm's way on a small Japanese island.

Why does Blofeld need to take over the world? Why doesn't be just sell his spacecraft technology to the highest bidder? That would immediately make him the world's richest man.

Once more, there are three Bond Girls. The bad Bond Girl is Helga Brand, played by the German actress Karin Dor. She's Number Eleven in Spectre, and a skilled assassin.

Bond should be careful who he's kissing. She soon has him tied up in her cabin. She only lets him go because she doesn't realise how dangerous he is.

The usual pattern is that the secondary good Bond Girl appears briefly before getting killed. In this film Aki, played by Akiko Wakabayashi, has a lot of screen time before she's finally killed.

Mie Hama plays Kissy Suzuki, who marries James Bond to help his undercover activities on the island. It's supposed to be just a business relationship, but she can't help falling for his charms. She's the main good Bond Girl, even though she doesn't appear until late in the film.

But James Bond has lots of girls in this film. The film poster exaggerates slightly. It shows him with eight women in a bathtub, but in the film there are only three Japanese girls washing him. But what's the difference? Three Japanese girls would get any man just as hot and steamy as eight girls.

Even one Japanese girl is enough to raise James Bond's blood pressure.

It's sad that Sean Connery has passed away, but he had a good life. He kissed as many women as Willaim Shatner in his distinguished career. Rest In Peace.

Success Rate:  + 9.7

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Thunderball (4 Stars)

I was shocked to hear that Sean Connery passed away this morning. It's true, he was 90 years old, but it still came as a surprise, because he's always looked fit in recent years. Judging by his appearance, he was fitter than men half his age. He'll always be remembered for his signature role as James Bond, even though he made many other films in his acting career.

"Thunderball" is the fourth James Bond film, made in 1965. It's the only film in the series that shows all nine Double-O agents assembled, although we only see the other eight from the rear.

James Bond is entering on the left, heading for his chair when he's late for a meeting with the British Home Secretary. 

The film's plot is that a Spectre agent, Emilio Largo, also known as Number Two, has stolen two atomic bombs. He's holding NATO to ransom for 100 million pounds. All nine Double-O agents are put on the job to hunt him down before the deadline for the payment arrives. They're sent to different parts of the world, but James Bond requests permission to go to Nassau, because he has a lead that this is where Largo can be found. If his lead is so certain, it would have been more realistic for the other eight Double-O agents to accompany him, but when have the James Bond films ever been about realism? In the opening scenes we see him escaping from a preliminary mission with a personal jet pack. Colonel Pyat would have been proud!

The film has a less complex plot than the previous films. There's an outstanding underwater fight scene that lasts for seven minutes between Spectre agents and a Royal Navy task squad. It's beautifully filmed in eerie silence, as the two groups fire harpoon guns at one another. James Bond himself is made recognisable by being the only one with naked legs. I'm sure he must have frozen underwater, even in the Bahamas.

There's a cameo appearance of Anthony Dawson as Ernst Stavro Blofeld, but he's not given this name in the film. He's only referred to as Number One. We don't even see his face in this film. That's just as well, because he's played by five different actors in the six classic James Bond films where he appears.

There are three Bond girls in this film, not the usual two. The good Bond girl is Domino, played by Claudine Auger. She starts out as Largo's mistress, but when she finds out that Largo murdered her brother she changes allegiance. The bad Bond Girl is Fiona Volpe, played by Luciana Paluzzi, a Spectre agent who was the mistress of Domino's brother until it was time to kill him. The third Bond Girl is Paula Caplan, played by Martine Beswick, a CIA agent assisting Bond in his investigations. As is typical for the secondary good Bond Girls, she's killed early in the film. (It was actually suicide by cyanide pill to prevent herself being captured).

It's interesting to follow the development of Sean Connery's accent in the James Bond films. He was born in Scotland, but the James Bond character in Ian Fleming's novels is supposed to be English. In the early films he tries to hide his Scottish accent, although it slips through occasionally. After three films, he finally has his voice under control. In "Thunderball" he finally sounds English.

Sean Connery
25 August 1930 – 31 October 2020

I'll watch two of Sean Connery's films as James Bond this weekend. Usually I would be writing a Marvel Years post at the weekend, but I've postponed my posts about Marvel comics until Google fixes the ugly imageanchor bug.

Success Rate:  + 13.7

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Two Supercops (3 Stars)

This Italian film, made in 1977, has been released in English with different titles over the years. The most recent release on DVD is called "Crime Busters", but I prefer "Two Supercops", which was its original title in the cinemas.

Terence and Bud are two casual labourers looking for work in a Miami dockyard. I shan't bother telling you the names of their characters, because honestly, who cares? Everyone knows them as Terence Hill and Bud Spencer, whatever films they appear in. They can't find work, so Terence suggests that they rob a building where he's seen money being delivered every day. When they burst in they find themselves surrounded by police. It's an administrative office for the Miami Police Department. To avoid being arrested, they say that they're visiting the building to apply for jobs as police officers.

Terence and Bud are given 20 weeks training before they go into action. Is that all? They're unorthodox, but successful. They succeed in bringing down a drug cartel operating at the dockyard where they first met one another.

The film is intended to be a comedy, but I didn't find it very funny. It's one of Terence and Bud's weaker films. The only scenes I enjoyed were the fights. I'm sure that Kevin Sorbo and Michael Hurst based their hilarious fighting style on them in the Hercules TV series. Apart from the fights, the film is dull.

Night at the Museum 2 (3 Stars)

There's some confusion about the title of this film. According to the DVD box, its name is "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian". However, in the opening credits the title screen simply calls it "Night at the Museum". There isn't even a number two to distinguish it from the first film.

The film takes place three years after the original film. Larry Daley has left his job as a night guard and gone back to being an inventor. He's now having moderate success with his Glow-In-The-Dark Flashlight. (I'm British, so I prefer to call it a torch). It's a better idea than it sounds. If there's a power cut and you need a torch, you might not be able to find it in the dark. If the torch's outer casing is fluorescent, it's easy to find. I wonder if these torches are on sale yet.

Larry visits the museum and finds that almost all of the exhibits have been packed in boxes. It's been decided that traditional museums are too old-fashioned. The new museum is to be made up of talking holographic displays. Larry stays the night in the museum to say farewell to his old friends. The Tablet of Ahkmenrah is to remain in the museum, so they won't come to life any more in their new resting place, the underground vaults of the Smithsonian Museum in Washington D.C.

The next evening Larry receives a phone call from Jedediah. Dexter stole the Tablet, so now all the exhibits in the Smithsonian Museum have come to life. Kahmunrah, the older brother of Akhmenrah, has attacked and imprisoned the new arrivals from New York. He wants the Tablet, because it has untapped powers that will help him conquer the world. Larry goes to Washington to save them.

I'm sorry to say that this film doesn't live up to the original. Too much is illogical. In the first film the exhibits were at war with one another, but now they're united, even before they have to face a common enemy. In the first film there were constant communication problems, but now they all seem to understand English, even if they don't speak it. We see all the exhibits from the first film, but several of them, including Sacagawea, shown above, only appear in brief cameos. The new exhibits aren't funny, except for their randomness. The only exception is Amelia Earhart, played by Amy Adams.

Amelia Earhart is comical in the way she's portrayed. She's an independent woman, who doesn't need a man to tell her what to do, but she goes to the opposite extreme, taking any man she wants. In this case, any man means Larry. While he's struggling to save the world, he has to fight off Amelia's attempts to kiss him. It's very hard for him, because she looks insanely sexy in her tight fitting flying outfit.

That's still not enough to make it a good film.

Success Rate:  + 0.8

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Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (4½ Stars)

I never expected that "Borat" would have a sequel. It was such a perfect film in itself, and its concept made it a one-off. It was all about an actor (Sacha Baron Cohen) making a fool of people by pretending to be a dim-witted foreign journalist. Due to the film's enormous popularity everyone recognises Borat Sagdiyev and knows he's a fake. This problem is solved in the sequel by Borat being in disguise for most of the film. That's an amusing concept in itself; the person in disguise puts on an extra layer of disguise.

The original film was a brilliant blend of candid photography and staged performances with actors. I suspect that the staged performances make up a larger percentage of the sequel. My assumption is that whenever Borat speaks to people without his second layer of disguise, the people are actors. 

Sacha Baron Cohen might be the brains behind the film, but the actress Maria Bakalova, who plays Borat's teenage daughter Tutar, steals the show. She arrives in America just as naive and seemingly unintelligent as her father. I say seemingly, because she shows herself to be increasingly capable as the film progresses.

But what was Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of New York and currently Donald Trump's attorney, doing with his hand in his trousers? He says he was tucking his shirt in, but that's not what it looks like. Why would he lie on his back to tuck his shirt in? The scene needs to be examined carefully. I just think it's a shame that Borat burst into the hotel bedroom so soon. He should have waited a few minutes to see how it would play out.

"Borat Subsequent Moviefilm" isn't quite as good as the original film. The portion of the film that takes place in America (which is 95% of the film) is brilliant, but the scenes that take place in Kazakhstan at the beginning and end are weak.

The film is being shown exclusively on Amazon Prime. I hope that my readers who subscribe to Amazon will watch it.

My Friend Dahmer (4 Stars)

When I first reviewed this film in 2017 I received heavy criticism from a friend of mine who complained about a film being made that glorifies Jeffrey Dahmer. She also said that the allegedly accurate biopic must be a fake, because Dahmer didn't have any friends. My answers are:

The film does not in any way glorify Jeffrey Dahmer. It's an attempt to explain him, but not to justify him. After watching the film nobody will in any way like him as a person.

The film is based on the memories of John Backderf, who went to school with Jeffrey Dahmer and says he was his friend in his final year. That's good enough for me. I see no reason to accuse him of lying.

This film is based on the graphic novel "My Friend Dahmer", written and drawn by John Backderf. After watching the film in 2017 I read the graphic novel. I found that the film is an accurate adaptation of the novel, apart from certain events being reversed. (In the novel Dahmer's first murder was before the last time he saw Backderf, but the film shows the events the other way round). What the film is missing is Backderf's introspection. What I mean is, in the novel Backderf gives his thoughts about incidents in his last year of school. In the film we just see what's happening, so we're missing out. We don't get the full picture from watching the film.

The biggest loss from the lack of introspection is Backderf's guilt about failing Dahmer. It's true, they were friends, but Backderf thinks he might have been using Dahmer when he could have been helping him. Dahmer was a comedic character, making people laugh by randomly spazzing out, i.e. pretending to have epileptic fits. Backderf encouraged Dahmer to continue, effectively using Dahmer for his own amusement.

It was obvious to Backderf, though not to the teachers, that Dahmer had an alcohol problem. Could he have done more to stop him? Maybe, maybe not. Backderf was only 18, not mature enough to offer help, but he still feels guilt now that he's older.

Jeffrey Dahmer was an awkward teenager from a broken family, socially inept, and struggling with homosexual urges which he was unable to deal with. It wasn't just John Backderf who failed him. There were many people around him who could have stepped in to give advice or counselling. I'm not saying that to excuse Dahmer. There are thousands, maybe millions of teenagers who grow up in difficult circumstances like these, but they don't become murderers. Jeffrey Dahmer was a monster, and the film shows his early developments, helping us to understand him.

Jeffrey Dahmer, photograph taken at Revere High School in 1978. 

Jeffrey Dahmer, sketch drawn by John Backderf in 1978. I'm glad he kept it after leaving school.

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The Last Circus (5 Stars)

My film viewing is very irregular. I watched this film only two weeks ago, but I had to return to it today, even though I have a few new purchases lying unwatched on my shelf. That's just the way I am.

On a different subject, today I saw my grandson playing Candy Crush on his tablet, so I tried it out. Is there any strategy to it? It seemed that I was just clicking at random, making the first patterns I saw. I've heard that it's a very popular game, but I really can't see what's so special about it.

Success Rate:  + 1.1

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