Showing posts with label Foreign: Italian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Foreign: Italian. Show all posts

Sunday, 26 July 2026

Go For It (4 Stars)


"Go For It" (1983) is one of Bud Spencer and Terence Hill's most enjoyable 1980's comedies, even if it takes a frustratingly long time to get going. Rosco Frazer (Terence Hill) and Doug O'Riordan (Bud Spencer) are two petty criminals on the run from the police. After stealing a pair of airplane tickets, they're mistaken for secret agents and unwillingly sent on a dangerous mission.

The first half hour is the film's weakest point. Watching Bud and Terence flee from the authorities lacks the charm and energy of their best work, and the story doesn't really come alive until the mistaken identity plot begins. Once the duo become accidental spies, the film transforms into an affectionate spoof of James Bond and "The Man from UNCLE". High-tech gadgets, eccentric villains, glamorous locations and increasingly absurd action scenes provide the perfect playground for Bud's thunderous punches and Terence's acrobatic trickery.

The humour is consistently inventive, with the pair's complete incompetence as secret agents creating one ridiculous situation after another. Rather than trying to be a genuine spy thriller, "Go For It" delights in poking fun at the genre while never losing sight of the easy-going chemistry that made Bud Spencer and Terence Hill international stars. Their effortless comic timing carries the film through every explosion, chase and fistfight.

It may not be on the level of "They Call Me Trinity", but once the spy adventure begins, "Go For It" becomes one of the duo's funniest later collaborations. If you can sit through the sluggish opening, you're rewarded with an entertaining and highly amusing adventure that proves Bud and Terence could still make audiences laugh well into the 1980s.

Double Trouble (3 Stars)


"Double Trouble" (1984) is the 15th film that Bud Spencer and Terence Hill made together. They're united for a mistaken identity comedy, with two millionaires hiring lookalikes to take their places after becoming targets of assassins. It's a premise that promises plenty of confusion and comic chaos, but the film never makes the most of it.

The biggest problem is the pacing. Despite the constant swapping of identities, the story unfolds surprisingly slowly, with long stretches where very little happens. The jokes are repetitive, the action lacks the spark of the duo's best films and even the trademark brawls feel routine rather than inventive. Bud Spencer and Terence Hill are as likeable as ever, but their effortless chemistry can't disguise a tired script. Compared with their classic collaborations, "Double Trouble" is one of their dullest and most forgettable outings.

Saturday, 25 July 2026

All the Way, Boys (4 Stars)


I watched this film today dubbed into German. The German title is "Zwei Himmelhunde auf dem Weg zur Hölle", i.e. "Two Heaven Dogs on their way to Hell". It's the seventh of 17 films that Bud Spencer and Terence Hill made as a comedy duo. It's sometimes incorrectly claimed that they made 18 films together. They both appeared in 1he 1959 film, "Hannibal", but they had no screentime together.

"All the Way Boys" arrived at exactly the right moment in Bud Spencer and Terence Hill's careers. After the phenomenal success of "They Call Me Trinity" and "Trinity Is Still My Name", audiences wanted more of the pair's effortless chemistry. Instead of another western, director Giuseppe Colizzi threw them into a modern adventure full of planes, treasure hunters, missionaries and, of course, spectacular fistfights. It proved that Bud and Terence weren't just stars of comedy westerns; they could entertain in almost any setting.

The story follows the pilots Plata and Salud, whose latest job is to deliberately crash an ageing aircraft for an insurance scam. Instead, they find themselves stranded in the Amazon rainforest, where a legendary treasure, ruthless criminals and a remote mission turn a simple fraud into a full-blown adventure. The plot is really just an excuse to throw Bud and Terence from one comic set piece to the next, and that's exactly what the film needs.

What makes the film so enjoyable is the relaxed confidence of its two leads. Terence Hill supplies the charm, quick thinking and acrobatic movement, while Bud Spencer is the immovable force who solves problems with a thunderous punch. Their comic timing has never been sharper. By this stage they understand exactly how to play off each other, making every argument, prank and fight feel completely natural.

The action also marks an important step in their evolution. The famous slapstick brawls are larger and more polished than ever, mixing genuine stunt work with cartoon humour. Instead of violence, the fights deliver laughter, a formula that would become the trademark of nearly every Bud Spencer and Terence Hill film that followed.


Although it isn't usually ranked alongside their greatest classics such as "They Call Me Trinity",  "All the Way Boys" is one of the films that secured their future as Europe's biggest comedy duo. It proved they weren't tied to one genre and could carry a modern action comedy just as successfully as a western. For millions of fans, this was the beginning of the classic Bud and Terence formula that would dominate the rest of the 1970's.

It's a lightweight adventure, but it's also an important milestone. Without "All the Way Boys", Bud Spencer and Terence Hill might have remained remembered as western heroes. Instead, they became one of cinema's most beloved comedy partnerships, and this film helped them spread their wings far beyond the Wild West.

Tuesday, 30 June 2026

Vier Fäuste für ein Hallelujah [comedy version] (4 Stars)


This is the comedy version of "Four Fists for a Hallelujah". Supposedly. I don't think it's any funnier than the version I watched yesterday. From what I've read the dubbing was more accurate in the theatrical version, but there's one significant exception: in the new version Terence Hill is called Trinity, as he should have been from the start.

Which version is better? I prefer this one. Trinity remains Trinity.

Monday, 29 June 2026

Vier Fäuste für ein Hallelujah (4 Stars)


I'm so frustrated with this film that I almost decided not to review it. It makes a mockery of my film blog and films in general. I reviewed it once before, using the English DVD title, "Trinity is still my name". That's the literal translation of the original Italian title. In Germany the film is called "Vier Fäuste für ein Hallelujah", i.e. "Four fists for a Hallelujah". That means absolutely nothing, but Germans like spectacular film titles. The title change doesn't bother me, except in the German dubbing Terence Hill isn't called Trinity, his name is Sleepy Joe. Why? The answer is only known to the super-intelligent boss of the German studio responsible for the dubbing when the film was released in 1971.

In 1982 the film was rereleased for video. For reasons also unknown to me the film was redubbed and called the "comedy version". That doesn't make sense either, because the original film was already a comedy. I just watched the original "theatrical" version, and I'll watch the comedy version tomorrow.

Tuesday, 9 June 2026

The Supercop (4 Stars)


"Supercop" (1980) is a delightful piece of Italian-American cinematic absurdity that works far better than it has any right to, largely thanks to the electric chemistry between its two leads. The film itself is a silly, low-budget superhero comedy about a Miami police officer who gains superpowers after being exposed to radioactivity, but it's the dynamic between Terence Hill and Ernest Borgnine that elevates it from forgettable fluff to a genuinely entertaining odd-couple romp.

Hill, as the title character David Speed, brings his trademark charm and physical comedy to the role. His character is goofy, good-hearted, and utterly bewildered by his newfound abilities, which include super speed, telekinesis, and the power to deflect bullets. Hill's performance is all about wide-eyed innocence and comedic timing, whether he's accidentally stopping a bank robbery or trying to hide his powers from his superiors.


Borgnine, as Sergeant Willy Dunlop, is the perfect foil to Hill's manic energy. He plays the gruff, no-nonsense police sergeant who's both exasperated by and secretly fond of his partner. Borgnine brings a gravitas and warmth to the role that grounds the film's more ridiculous elements. His deadpan reactions to Hill's antics are comedy gold, and you can tell he's having a blast playing the straight man to Hill's zaniness.

What makes their chemistry so special is the contrast between their styles. Hill is all about physical comedy and boyish charm, while Borgnine is a master of subtle facial expressions and world-weary grumbling. Together, they create a dynamic that feels both familiar and fresh. There's a genuine affection between their characters that comes through in every scene, whether they're bickering about donuts or teaming up to take down the bad guys.

"Supercop" isn't a masterpiece by any stretch – it's dated, cheesy, and often nonsensical – but the chemistry between Hill and Borgnine makes it worth watching. They're the heart and soul of the film, and their partnership elevates the material beyond its B-movie origins. It's a testament to the power of good casting and the magic that can happen when two actors click, even in the silliest of circumstances.

Wednesday, 29 October 2025

Demons (4½ Stars)


This is the October choice for my cinema's Weird Wednesday event. It's an excellent choice. It's 100% trash. There's mindless gore from beginning to end, and no explanation is given for the events. A film is shown about demons, and the same demons come to life in the cinema. Brilliant!


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Thursday, 8 May 2025

The Forbidden City (5 Stars)


This is the first film in the Stuttgart Nights Festival.

I've been having trouble getting to the cinema for the last two months, but I'm glad to say I'll be able to attend most films at the 2025 Stuttgart Nights Festival, which will run for four days this year. It always begins with a special film, and "The Forbidden City" is incredible. It tells the tale of Mei, a Chinese woman searching for her sister in the Chinese quarter in Rome. She's caught up in a battle between crooked restaurant owners. The fight scenes are spectacular. The actress Yaxi Liu reminds me of Jackie Chan in her ability to pick up any objects around her and use them as weapons. I'm astounded that this is only her second film, and her first in a leading role. She has a big future ahead of her.

Apart from the action, it's a love story. Mei falls in love with a naive young Italian cook, even though they don't speak one another's language. The film's dialogue is evenly divided between Italian and Chinese. It's the best new film I've seen in the cinema this year.

Thursday, 25 May 2023

La Liceale (5 Stars)


This is the fourth film in my high school movie marathon. I intended to watch seven films by the end of May, but I doubt I'll make it. I have a lot to do over the weekend, so I'll have to skip a few days and continue in June. I may add a few more films to the marathon to make up.

There's no senior prom in this school. There can't be, because it's an Italian film, and Italians don't do proms. I don't understand the Italian school system. The children are 17, but it's class 3L. If any Italians are reading my blog, please leave a comment explaining the strange numbering.

"La Liceale" was made in 1975, but it wasn't released in Germany until 1980. When I saw it in the cinema I was overwhelmed by the sexuality, but after buying it on DVD I've realised that it's a very good film all round. Some reviewers have criticised it for its lack of consistency. It starts as a comedy, but in the last half hour it turns sad. That's not a problem for me. It fits the film's subject matter as a coming-of-age drama.


Loredana is a virgin, and she wants to stay that way. It's not for religious reasons, or even the ideal of saving herself until marriage. It's a matter of power. As she tells her best friend Monica, "It's fun exciting the boys. The teachers as well. I can make them do whatever I want". She flashes her panties at the teachers, making them stutter and lose their train of thought. When a new teacher gives her a bad mark she jumps into his car and flirts with him. He keeps telling her that he'll get in trouble if he does anything with her, but that's what Loredana wants. She excites him and scares him and the same time, and she'll never get a bad mark again. 

She plays with the teachers and she plays with the boys. She strips naked for her classmate Thomas to paint her, then pushes him away when he grabs her. She would have been disappointed if he hadn't grabbed her. She goes skinny-dipping with Billy, and she allows him to kiss her passionately, but she walks away and leaves him panting for more.

Note: The German DVD changes the names. Billy and Thomas are called Gianni and Petruccio in the original Italian version.


Monica is played by the Italian politician Ilona Staller in her first film role. She disagrees with Loredana's chastity. Monica sleeps with older men, who give her a lot of money. The two schoolgirls both exercise control over men, in their different ways. 


The comedy turns to tragedy when Loredana gives up her power. She falls in love with a business colleague of her father. She enjoys the sexual experience so much that she doesn't notice her power slip away. There's nothing wrong with being in love, but Loredana doesn't realise that the man is using her until it's too late. The worst thing isn't that he uses her physically, it's that he abuses her emotionally.

Can she regain her power? The final scene leaves it open. She flirts with the teacher again, who's now given up resisting her and proclaims his love for her. Then she rides off on the back of Billy's motorbike. Will she give herself to him? Maybe. I hope not.

Wednesday, 18 January 2023

Joe, der Galgenvogel (1 Star)


My regular readers know that I'm a big fan of Terence Hill, so you must be wondering why I've rated this film so badly. It's not Terence Hill's fault. His acting is superb. Blame it on the Germans.

Let me explain. In 1966 a spaghetti western was made called "Django", starring Franco Nero. It was a big box office success, so a sequel was planned. Franco Nero was unavailable because he was busy with another film. Rather than delay the film, the studios looked for another actor with a similar appearance. In 1968 the sequel was made, "Django, prepare a coffin", with Terence Hill as Django.

"Django, prepare a coffin" was Terence Hill's first western, but the studios recognised that the role of a gunslinger suited him. Franco Nero returned for the following Django sequels, so other films had to be found for Terence Hill. He made two western comedies with Bud Spencer, "They call me Trinity" (1970) and "Trinity is still my name" (1971). That was it. He made many more films with Bud Spencer, but they weren't westerns.

That's where the Germans stepped in. In 1979 they needed to put another spaghetti western with Terence Hill and Bud Spencer in the cinemas, but there weren't any. So some clever person had an idea. "Django, prepare a coffin" was re-dubbed into German, but the new dubbing wasn't a translation, it was a rewriting of the story. Django was renamed Joe in the new version. There's a lot more comedy in the conversations. There are frequent references to Bud Spencer's character, Bambino, in the dialogue. One of the actors in the film had also appeared in the second Trinity film, so an attempt was made to link him, claiming he was the same character in both films. At points where Django stands brooding in the original version, the new version has long voiceovers explaining what's happening. So many details of the story have been twisted and changed by the new German dialogue.

This version of the film is only available in German, for obvious reasons. If you buy it in England or America, you'll get the good version, which I've watched twice in the past. "Joe, der Galgenvogel" is a crime against cinema.

Thursday, 8 December 2022

My Name is Vendetta (3 Stars)



This is a Netflix original movie made in Italian. It's the fifth most popular (i.e. most watched) film on Netflix in the UK today. Interestingly, six out of the top 10 films are Christmas films. Sigh.....

The film begins in Trentino, an area in the north of Italy. I said that the film is in Italian, but there's occasional German dialogue spoken in the early scenes. As you may know, German is the main language spoken in northern Italy, but the film's primary characters are bilingual and speak Italian among themselves.

Santo works as a lumberjack. He lives a peaceful life with his wife Ingrid and his 18-year-old daughter Sofia. He has a phobia of having his photo taken, but while he's repairing his car's wing mirror Sofia takes a sneaky snapshot and posts it to Instagram with the text "My badass Dad driving off-road". Innocent enough, but miles away in Milan facial recognition software flags the photo as someone the Mafia is looking for. Two killers are sent to his house. They mistakenly kill his brother-in-law, thinking it's him. Ingrid also dies in the attack.

As we soon find out, Santo is a former Mafia hitman who's been living under a false name for 20 years. He takes Sofia to Milan, where he proceeds to get revenge, first on the two killers, then on the whole Mafia organisation, all the way up to its boss. A sub-plot is Sofia's development from a naive teenager into a killer just as ruthless as her father.

Despite having some good ideas, this isn't a great film. It seems to be a patchwork of themes taken from other films. I immediately recognised the similarities with "John Wick" and "Leon" – Sofia even has hair like Mathilda – but my son-in-law Mehdi, who knows the genre better than me, named other films that it also borrows from. I have nothing against plagiarism in films, if it's done well, but in this case the end result is only average quality.

The final scene hints at a sequel. If there's a sequel, I shan't watch it at home, but there's a good chance I'll see it in a future visit to my daughter.

Saturday, 17 September 2022

Freaks Out (5 Stars)


This is the 14th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

The film is about four freaks who perform in an Italian circus in 1943. Fulvio is a strongman whose body is covered with hair. Cencio is an albino who can control insects. Mario is a dwarf who can make his body magnetic. Matilde is a 15-year-old girl whose body is electrified and shocks anyone who touches her. Their circus is forced to close when Germany invades Italy, because the circus is owned by a Jew.

There's a large German circus in Rome, the Circus Berlin, owned by a clairvoyant called Franz. He's had visions of Hitler's defeat, but he's also seen that there are four Italian freaks whose combined powers can save Germany. He tries to persuade them to join forces with the Nazis.

This is an amazing big budget production, partly a fantasy film, partly a war drama. The action is so exciting that I was glued to my seat. It's the best film I've seen in the festival so far, and it's also one of the best films of the year.

Thursday, 26 May 2022

They call me Trinity (4 Stars)


I've watched this film a few times already, but today is the first time I've watched it with German dubbing. I have to say that I'm amazed at the quality of the dubbing. As I've said before, dubbing is a serious industry in Germany, and the actors who provide the voices ("Synchronsprecher") are mostly successful theatre actors, so the voice quality is outstanding. It can't be compared with the poor quality of English and American dubbing.

It's often said that there's nothing original in films or television. I can see the problem. The ideas in old films were so good that it would be a shame to abandon them. They're just repackaged and disguised as new ideas. The premise of "Banshee" is a good example. A jewel thief takes the place of a sheriff. A new idea? No. In "They call me Trinity" Bud Spencer plays a horse thief who shoots a sheriff and takes his place as a town's sheriff, pretending to be him.

Is this plagiarism? Technically, yes, but in films and television plagiarism is so common that I wouldn't call it a crime any more. Most directors hide it, but Quentin Tarantino unashamedly makes films that are a patchwork of scenes taken from previous films. He doesn't call it plagiarism, he calls it a homage.

Here are the original Italian lobby cards. I hope you like them as much as I do.









The film has been released in England and America, but I strongly recommend that you buy the far superior German Blu-ray release. It includes English dubbing.

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Friday, 8 April 2022

Dark Glasses (4½ Stars)


This is the sixth film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival Nights.

A serial killer in Rome is killing prostitutes. Diana is attacked and manages to drive away in her car. The killer pursues her and rams her car from behind, This causes her to have an accident, hitting another car sideways. Diana loses her eyesight. The driver of the other car and his wife are killed, but their six-year-old son Chin survives.

Diana subsequently wears the dark glasses named in the title. It's interesting to see the training period in which she learns to deal with her disability. Then she tracks down Chin and visits him at an orphanage. She blames herself for the death of his parents. Shortly after this, Chin runs away from the orphanage and finds Diana's apartment. He moves in with her, because she's the only person she trusts. He helps Diana get around without eyesight.

Then the killer comes back. He wants to finish what he started. Diana has to run for her life, helped only by Chin,

This is a terrifying film. A blind person is helpless when being stalked by a serial killer. It's the best film made by Dario Argento for a long time. The music, brash and loud with an 80's feeling to it, fits the film excellently.

Tuesday, 23 November 2021

Delirium (3 Stars)


This is an Italian slasher film made in 1987. The director Lamberto Bava is best known for his monster films with zombies and cannibals. "Delirium" is almost a normal film. Almost.

Gloria, pictured above, is played by the famous Italian actress Serena Grandi. Gloria used to be a nude model. Then she married Carlo Manzi, the owner of the Pussycat magazine, so she gave up modelling. After the death of her husband she inherited the magazine, but she's struggling with the business side of publishing, so her brother Tony does most of the work, while she concentrates on finding the most beautiful models.

There are a series of murders. Someone is killing her models, then taking photos of the dead bodies in front of a huge poster of Gloria from her modelling days. This boosts the sales of Pussycat, because the models are already dead by the time they appear on the front cover.


Here's an example of the photos. Kim is dead after being stabbed with a pitchfork. Her body is dumped on a bench in front of a photo from Gloria's modelling days.

The only witness of Kim's murder is Gloria's next door neighbour Mark. He's a cripple and is unable to leave his wheelchair. He's obsessed with Gloria, so he sits at the window all day watching her house with a telescope. Creepy!


The singer Sabrina Salerno plays herself in the film. She's the second model to be killed.


I had a crush on Sabrina in the 1980's. She had a beautiful face and a perfect body. I bought any music magazine which had an interview with her.


"Delirium" shows more of Sabrina's body than I ever saw in the music magazines. If you don't believe me, click on the picture above.


I said that "Delirium" is almost a normal film. Lamberto Bava can't get away from his monsters, however much he tries. In Sabrina's photoshoot for Pussycat she's being attacked by mummies.

If Sabrina had been the film's main star I would have given the film five stars. Unfortunately, she appears for less than 10 minutes before she's killed. Considering that it's a slasher film, "Delirium" has very little suspense. There are no jump scares. It's not exciting enough to deserve a better rating.

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Tuesday, 9 November 2021

Perfetti Sconosciuti (4 Stars)


Smile!

Best friends grouped together for a selfie. That's something popular in today's smartphone age. It's difficult for young people to imagine a world where it wasn't done. It's even more impossible to imagine a world without smartphones.

"Perfetti Sconoscuiti" (engl. "Perfect Strangers") is an Italian film made in 2016 that shows the dark side of the smartphone cultures. The shiny little gadgets don't bring us closer together, they tear us apart. Husbands and wives don't share a phone, they each have their own. The marriage partners have their own secret lives locked up in their smartphones.

Seven people meet for dinner. Four couples, but one of the men arrives alone. His girlfriend is sick, he says, although we later find out he's lying. The secrecy of smartphones is discussed at the dinner table. Then they decide to play a game. Their phones have to be put in the centre of the table. Whenever there's a phone call, it has to be answered on speaker phone. Every text message and email received has to be read aloud. This simple little game tears couples apart and wrecks friendships.


This is the film that kicked off the global film frenzy. In the five years since 2016 it's been remade EIGHTEEN times in countries all over the world. A further six remakes are being developed. The story has touched a nerve.

I've already watched three of the remakes: Spanish, German and French. The story is identical in each, even though the style is different. The German version attempts to be comical, but the original Italian version is deadly serious. It has the same plot twist that the French version has, but I think it was missing from the Spanish version. I need to watch it again. I wonder when an English version will finally be made.

The film has only been released in Italy, but the Italian Blu-ray has English subtitles.

Thursday, 1 April 2021

La Liceale (5 Stars)


I decided to watch this Italian comedy today at short notice. I was reminded about it because my last review received a lot of hits over the last 24 hours. As far as I can tell, most of the readers were from France. Maybe it was shown on French television? There must be a reason. When I saw the figures I kicked myself. This is a film that I forgot when I was compiling my top 100 film list. That would have made it the only Italian film in my top 100. Is it really the best Italian film ever made? I haven't watched many Italian films, but it's the best one I've seen.

It was made in 1975, but not released in Germany until a few years later. I saw it in the cinema in 1981. I thought it was a German film, because it was called "Flotte Teens mit heißen Jeans" ("Saucy Teens in Hot Jeans"). That's a silly title, because there are no jeans anywhere in the film. The schoolgirls all wear short skirts.

"La Liceale", which literally means "The high school", is about a 17-year-old girl called Loredana. She's still a virgin, and she's in no hurry to lose her virginity. It's not that she's shy. She's the very opposite. She's aware of the power of her sexuality. She dresses provocatively, doing all she can to tease the boys and the men are around her. She strips naked when she's with her classmates, driving them wild, then runs away when they get excited. In class she lets her teachers look up her skirt, because she thinks it's funny when their faces turn red and they stutter like idiots. When she's in the street she struts proudly, knowing all eyes are on her. It's all a game to her.


That doesn't mean that there's no pain in Loredana's life. She suffers from her parents being separated. Her father has left her mother for a younger woman. Her mother has a new lover.

Loredana finally gives up her power when she meets an older man, a colleague of her father who's in the city on business. Losing her virginity means surrendering her power. She falls in love with him and wants to run away with him. He leaves her without even saying goodbye. There's a message in that.

There are many more details I could say about the film, but I'll stop there. I even took a lot of screenshots from the film which I've now decided not to include. It's enough for you to enjoy the beautiful photo of Gloria Guida as Loredana.

A problem with the film is the poor quality of the DVD. The cover says that it's digitally remastered, but it's still poor quality. A lot more work is necessary to bring the picture up to acceptable quality. The German DVD that I'm holding in my hand is long out of print. There's an Italian DVD without subtitles, but I expect it's the same picture quality as the DVD I own. If you really want to watch it, it's available to watch on Amazon Prime, called "The Teasers".

Friday, 30 October 2020

Two Supercops (3 Stars)


This Italian film, made in 1977, has been released in English with different titles over the years. The most recent release on DVD is called "Crime Busters", but I prefer "Two Supercops", which was its original title in the cinemas.

Terence and Bud are two casual labourers looking for work in a Miami dockyard. I shan't bother telling you the names of their characters, because honestly, who cares? Everyone knows them as Terence Hill and Bud Spencer, whatever films they appear in. They can't find work, so Terence suggests that they rob a building where he's seen money being delivered every day. When they burst in they find themselves surrounded by police. It's an administrative office for the Miami Police Department. To avoid being arrested, they say that they're visiting the building to apply for jobs as police officers.

Terence and Bud are given 20 weeks training before they go into action. Is that all? They're unorthodox, but successful. They succeed in bringing down a drug cartel operating at the dockyard where they first met one another.


The film is intended to be a comedy, but I didn't find it very funny. It's one of Terence and Bud's weaker films. The only scenes I enjoyed were the fights. I'm sure that Kevin Sorbo and Michael Hurst based their hilarious fighting style on them in the Hercules TV series. Apart from the fights, the film is dull.

Thursday, 9 July 2020

Who finds a friend finds a treasure (4½ Stars)


Bud Spencer and Terence Hill. Friends forever, on and off the screen. In many of their films, including this one, they start out as enemies, but they're always close friends by the time the credits roll.

Unlike most of the films made by Bud Spence and Terence Hill, the film's title has been literally translated. "Chi trova un amico trova un tesoro" is an Italian proverb. It's curious that it's been translated so awkwardly. I would have said "whoever" instead of "who". The proverb itself isn't used in the film, just a joking paraphrase from Terence's lips: "Whoever loses a treasure finds a friend".

As in many of their films, Terence and Bud play Americans, even though the dialogue is spoken in Italian throughout. The movie was filmed in Florida, but judging from the context it's supposed to take place in California.


Terence Hill plays Alan Lloyd, a man who's ruined himself by losing all his money at horse races. That's bad enough in itself, but he steals $15,000 from mob bosses which he thinks he can pay back after winning on a sure bet. He has to flee for his life. His only hope of salvation is a treasure map given him by his uncle. A treasure worth millions has been buried on a South Pacific island. But how can he get there with no money to buy a boat?


Bud Spencer plays Charlie O'Brien, an actor who's been hired to promote Puffin's Jam by sailing round the world with a year's supply of jam to live on. Please... however much anyone might like jam, would he want to eat it every day for a year? The first thing Charlie does after leaving the port is dump the crates of jam in the sea. He's made sure that his boat is stocked with steak and baked beans. That's the right food for a real man.

You can guess by now what happens. Alan stows away on Charlie's boat. Charlie throws Alan overboard, miles from shore, but he regrets it and pulls him back in when he sees sharks in the water. That's one thing about Bud in all his movies: he's always a softy. He's a gentle giant who never wants to hurt anyone.


The two men travel to the location of the treasure, the Island of Bongo-Bongo. It's supposed to be uninhabited, but they find it's run by a matriarchy. That's what I call civilisation! The island's queen is called Mama. Here she is with her three daughters Alua, Ulla and Dimhea. Don't ask me which one is which. She also has a son, a proud warrior called Anulu, but Mama is always slapping him because he's stupid. In a matriarchy there's no room for men who think they know best. Slap! Slap! Slap!


The island is raided by pirates who look like they've come directly from an all-night session in a gay bar. They're armed with whips, handcuffs and feather dusters.


The pirate on the right is listening to "YMCA" on his headphones. I shan't even comment on the pirate captain's banana. I watched the film dubbed into English, and it's interesting that the pirates were all dubbed by Australian actors.

The island's women and their puny male warriors are terrified, but Charlie and Alan are more than a match for the gay pirates. They're not scared by bananas and feather dusters. They're proclaimed heroes and shown the way to the treasure. Mama even gives them her daughters, but she's obviously never heard the English proverb, "Three into two won't go".


There's just one last problem. A Japanese soldier called Kamasuka has been stranded on the island since the end of World War Two. He doesn't know that the war is over. He lives at peace with the island's inhabitants, but as soon as Americans arrive he goes back to war. It's interesting that the actor, John Fujioka from Hawaii, appeared in several unrelated films as a stranded Japanese WW2 soldier. That's amazing type-casting, but I admit that he looks the part.


I don't want to give away any spoilers. All I'll say is that I don't understand why Charlie and Alan are in such a hurry to return to America. The island is paradise! I can think of three good reasons to stay, even if I could only keep one and a half of them for myself.


The way the girls are laughing, they must have been discussing how they should be shared. How about one wife for each man, and the third daughter is responsible for the slapping?

Terence Hill and Bud Spencer are best known for their westerns, but this film is also excellent, with a perfect balance of action and comedy. The remastered Blu-ray has only been released in Germany, but it contains English dubbing as well as the original Italian dialogue. There are no English subtitles, sorry.