Showing posts with label Jessica Alba. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jessica Alba. Show all posts

Tuesday, 23 May 2023

Never Been Kissed (4 Stars)


This is the third film in my high school movie marathon. It's also one of the films that features a high school prom. Josie Geller, who's never been kissed, is the prom queen dancing with the prom king, Guy Perkins. Their lips are close, so can we expect a kiss? Not this time. She's 25, but he's only 17. That wouldn't be a problem in England, Germany or anywhere in the world apart from America. In America 17 is considered underage, which is so strange in my eyes. You can see that they both want to kiss as their bodies sway in time with the music. To be precise, they're swaying to "Erase/Rewind" by the Cardigans.

So what's a 25-year-old woman doing at a high school prom? Josie works for the Chicago Sun-Times as a copy editor. I've watched the film a few times, but today is the first time I've looked up what a copy editor is. According to Wikipedia, "Copy editing is the process of revising written material to improve readability and fitness, as well as ensuring that a text is free of grammatical and factual errors". To me that sounds like proofreading, but there's a subtle difference which was important in the pre-digital age of newspapers. Copy editing corrects what a person has written. Proof reading looks for errors after the text has been typeset. To explain it more clearly, a copy editor would correct spelling mistakes, whereas a proof-reader would notice mistyped words.


Josie is the perfect person for the job. She's precise and pedantic. When talking to her colleagues she corrects what they say. She can't turn herself off. It goes further than just words. She has to keep adjusting the sign on her door when it's not perfectly straight.

But Josie has never been kissed. It's understandable with her attitude. Kisses are wet and messy. She's waiting for the perfect moment with the perfect man. I hate to break the news to her, but there's no such thing as a perfect man.

Despite having the perfect job for her personality, Josie wants to climb up the corporate ladder by becoming a journalist. She's finally given an assignment. Her boss wants an investigative report on high schools, so Josie has to pretend she's 17 and enrol at South Glen South High School. That's a mouthful. It's a fictional school, so they could have come up with something snappier.


The investigation is about school in general, but it's only a few weeks before the prom, so that's what all the kids are talking about. Just one question though: do they really rate proms? Out of the 20,000 high schools in America, how does anyone know which has the best prom? Photos? Videos?

The year is 1999, so the prom's theme is the Millennium. Surprise, surprise, another local high school has already picked the theme, so they change it to "Famous couples through history".


Josie can get away with being a high school kid. She looks young. I could have got away with it as well. On my 23rd birthday I was waiting at Stuttgart train station for a friend. I got into a conversation with some men at a kiosk, and I told them it was my birthday. They didn't believe I was 23. They said I looked like I was 16. But that was a long time ago. Nobody thinks I'm 16 any more.

But what's Josie doing? In her real high school years she was an outsider, and she wants to fit in this time. But how can she fit in wearing clothes like that? She looks like a throwback to the 1950's.


This is more typical high school fashion. Jessica Alba looks disgusted. In England it wouldn't have been a problem. Everyone wears the same uniform. It's better that way. School shouldn't be used for a fashion show.


This is a slight improvement. Now she looks like a 1960's housewife.


But the teacher notices her. It's not just about Josie's looks. He's impressed by her knowledge of Shakespeare. The class is studying "As You Like It", a play that I've never read. I have the complete works of Shakespeare on my Kindle, so I have no excuse. Sam Coulson, the English teacher, is genuinely attracted to Josie, but she's off-limits because she's only 17.

Josie would take issue with the last paragraph. I learnt in school that no sentence should begin with the word "But". I agree, and when I right serious documents I keep to the rule, but not in my blog. I try to keep a colloquial style, and it's common to begin sentences with "But" when we talk. But Josie would criticise that as well. Oops, I did it again!


They meet by accident at a fairground, and they ride the Ferris Wheel together. Now she's finally clothed more naturally.


There's only one way Josie can become popular in school. Her older brother Rob also pretends to be 17 and enrols in her school. He's naturally popular, and by talking positively about Josie he swings the others in her favour. But does he look 17? Not really. I don't know how old Rob was supposed to be, but David Arquette was 28 when he appeared in the film, and he looks nothing like a teenager.


Riding the wave of popularity, she's invited to the prom by Guy Perkins, the boy that all the girls want. They're dressed as Orlando and Rosalind from "As You Like It".


Not everyone takes the prom theme so seriously. The school's Mean Girls look like Three Shades of Barbie. Where's Ken when you need him?


Fast forward to the spoilers. Josie's article is a success, and she finally gets kissed by Sam Coulson. That's not much of a spoiler, is it? Everyone knew they would get together in the end.


This was the first film made by James Franco. He only appears briefly, speaking a few lines, so it's easy to miss him. He isn't named in the film, but the credits list him as Jason. He's an actor I like a lot. His breakthrough was as Harry Osborn in "Spider-Man", three years later, but in my eyes he'll always be a B-Movie actor. That's what he does, and he's good at it.


Would I have kissed Josie? In school or at work? She's pretty, but she's not the first girl who would have attracted my attention.


Octavia Spencer is more my type. She was 29 when she made "Never Been Kissed", and she looks even more beautiful now. She's beautiful and she's talented. She's been nominated for three Academy Awards, of which she won one.

I've read that "Never Been Kissed" is considered a cult film. I'm in urgent need of finding the definition of cult film.

Success Rate:  + 1.4

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Thursday, 27 December 2018

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (4 Stars)


This delayed sequel almost but not quite lives up to the quality of the first film. Sadly it flopped at the box office. I have no idea why. The chronology is difficult to understand at first, because some parts of the film take place before the first film, some parts after it. This is further complicated by actors being replaced between the two films. It wasn't obvious to me at first that Josh Brolin was playing the same character as Clive Owen in the first film. They don't look vaguely alike. The replacement of Devon Aoki with Jamie Chung was less jarring. The absence of Michael Clarke Duncan was excusable, because he died before the sequel was made, but the only similarity with his replacement is that they both have the same skin colour. I didn't realise that Jeremy Piven was supposed to be playing the same character as Michael Madsen until after the film.

I just paused before continuing with this post. The more I think about it, the more weaknesses I can see in the second film compared to the first. The next time I watch the films I'll make sure it's back to back again.

Success Rate:  - 1.6

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Sin City (5 Stars)


I watched "Sin City" years ago, but for some reason I thought I didn't like it. All I could remember is seeing Elijah Wood jumping around, nothing else. That was enough reason to watch it again. Wow! I was mesmerised. I can't write much about the film because of being short of time, but I'll promise to return to it and write more next time. Whenever that is. I don't break my promises, I just need a long time to keep them.

Success Rate:  + 2.0

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Wednesday, 21 November 2018

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (4 Stars)


This is a sequel to "Fantastic Four" that was made two years later in 2007. Overall it's a slightly better film, but it fared worse at the box office, probably because fans were still reeling in disappointment after the first film. Speaking for myself, I was happy with the first hour, but the final half hour let me down badly.

But first the film's most important feature: the Stan Lee cameo! It's unique in being the only cameo in which he explicitly plays himself. What I mean is, in most of the other films it's possible that he's playing himself, such as in his cameos in the Spider-Man films, but this is the only film in which his name is used. He arrives at the wedding of Reed Richards and Susan Storm and tells the security guard his name is Stan Lee. He's refused entrance because his name isn't on the guest list. This is the same thing that happened at the wedding in Fantastic Four Annual #3 (see the last picture in the post).


I have to repeat the praise that I made in my review of the first film. The actors who play the Fantastic Four themselves are perfect. It might not be obvious from the picture above, but the Thing's appearance has been improved. He was a bit too smooth in the first film, but now he looks as if his body is made up of rocks. That's what it should look like.

This is why most of the film's first hour is excellent. It's all about the Fantastic Four. The awful scripting of their origin is out of the way, so we just see their interaction as a team, and it's exactly the same as in the comics.


I should have mentioned Kerry Washington as Alicia Masters in my last review. I hate the blackwashing in Marvel films. In every Marvel film one of the white characters is played by a black actor for no apparent reason. It looks like Marvel has a quota for black actors, and a character is picked for a racial swap at random. It was the Kingpin in "Daredevil", Electro in "Amazing Spider-Man 2" and the Human Torch in the 2015 version of "Fantastic Four". The biggest casting blunder caused by blackwashing was the choice of Idris Elba to play the Norse God Heimdall in the Thor movies. It ruins the character's credibility.

What's worse is that Kerry Washington isn't even a good actress. If she didn't tell us she's blind we wouldn't know. She doesn't know how to act like a blind person. She should learn from Ben Affleck, a much better actor.

Once more, Doctor Doom just isn't Doctor Doom. His semi-metallic body and energy blasts are wrong. He doesn't even wear a mask for most of the film. When he does it's only as a uniform. In the comics he has to wear a mask 24 hours a day because his face is deformed, so ugly that he can't even look at himself in a mirror.

However, the film's biggest mistake is the portrayal of the world-destroyer Galactus.


This is what he looks like in Fantastic Four #48. A terrifying 50 foot alien with a big G on his chest.


This is what he looks like in the film. He's just a giant cloud floating through space. The director screwed up big time.


I normally turn a blind eye to the telescoping of events in Marvel films, but this time far too much was packed into a single film. The story of the arrival of Galactus and the Silver Surfer was told in Fantastic Four #48 to #50, and it's considered by many fans to be the best story ever written in a comic. The film should have been an adaptation of this story, nothing more, nothing less. Instead of that it mixes in the story of Doctor Doom stealing the Silver Surfer's powers, which was told in Fantastic Four #58 to #60. That's an incredible story in itself, and it should have been left till the third film. Telescoping so much action into a single film which runs for less than 90 minutes takes away so much.

It's not just the action that's missing, it's the heartbreak of the Silver Surfer, as he's torn between his love for Earth and his duty to Galactus. We hardly get to know him in the film. If he'd been adequately portrayed we would have been shedding tears for him.

In the comics the Silver Surfer feels especially drawn to Alicia Masters, whereas his romantic interest in the film is Susan Storm. That also steals the poignancy of a blind woman teaching him to see Earth's beauty. But maybe it's just as well. I'm glad that Kerry Washington didn't have more screen time.

Why oh why do screenwriters and directors have to ruin such beautiful stories? To quote the words of George R. R. Martin in 2014:

"You can't go wrong if you stick with Stan Lee. That's always been my opinion on these Marvel movies. The best ones are the ones that are closest to what Stan Lee did. It's when they start to be creative, when they think they can be better than Stan Lee, mostly they can't".

Nuff said!

Success Rate:  + 0.2

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Tuesday, 20 November 2018

Fantastic Four [2005] (3 Stars)


I was terribly disappointed with this film when it was released, but I'll start off by naming its good points.

It has my favourite Stan Lee cameo, even though it's only a small appearance. The scene last eight seconds, of which Stan's face is only visible for four seconds. He plays Willie Lumpkin, the Baxter Building's mail man. This is the role Stan was born to play.


In Fantastic Four #11 (February 1963) Willie Lumpkin applies to join the Fantastic Four. He should have been accepted. Ear wiggling is a power that very few humans possess.

Willie Lumpkin first appeared as a young postman in a daily newspaper strip written by Stan Lee from 1959 to 1961.


Has anyone ever taken the trouble to write a full bibliography of everything written by Stan Lee? I wouldn't want to read everything, but it would at least be interesting to have a list.


The other positive point of the film is the excellent casting and acting of the Fantastic Four themselves.


I know almost nothing about Ioan Gruffudd, but I couldn't imagine anyone else playing Reed Richards better. His facial expressions look like they're copied directly from the pages of the comic book. Is that good acting, or was he born with these expressions? I don't know.


Chris Evans perfectly pulls off the brash swagger of Johnny Storm. It's a very different character to the quiet, reclusive Capain America (Steve Rogers) that he played six years later. It's a tribute to his acting ability that he can portray both characters perfectly.


Jessica Alba not only looks like Susan Storm, she also has the cool confidence of the character. It's a shame that the film ruins her back story. In the film she's said to have a PhD, but she wasn't that intelligent in the comics.


Michael Chiklis has nailed the character of Benjamin Grimm perfectly. He's a tragic character with a hot temper. He doesn't quite look like the Thing does in the comic books, but he walks and talks like him.

If those are the good points, what's wrong with the film? Everything else! There's so much that's wrong that I can't write about all of it, but I'll point out the worst parts.

The origin is wrong, totally wrong. The Fantastic Four fly into space with Victor Von Doom? Susan Storm works for Doctor Doom? Doctor Doom wants to marry her?

The character of Doctor Doom just isn't the same person we know in the comics. In the film he gains his super powers by being bombarded with the same cosmic rays as the Fantastic Four. In the comics he had no super powers. He was only a scientific genius who used his brain to become the world's most powerful villain. I don't understand why Stan Lee didn't put his foot down and object when the film twisted Doctor Doom's character beyond recognition. A metallic body, super-human strength and the ability to shoot electric bolts of energy from his hands? He never needed all that in the comics.

The Fantastic Four were my favourite super-heroes when I was growing up. I bought more of their comics than any others. Each issue had the heading "The world's greatest comic magazine". Very little of this greatness can be seen in the film.

Success Rate:  + 1.3

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Friday, 12 May 2017

Barely Lethal (4 Stars)


"Mean Girls" meets "Kill Bill". It's tough for a 16-year-old assassin to be popular in high school.

"Barely Lethal" was made in 2015, so it shows what Samuel L. Jackson gets up to when he isn't wearing an eye patch.

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Thursday, 8 September 2016

Mechanic: Resurrection (3 Stars)


Arthur Bishop is a highly skilled hitman. His speciality is to kill people and make the death look like an accident. At the end of the previous film he faked his own death in order to retire. He's now living in Brazil with a fake name. However, a childhood friend of his, Riah Crain, who is now an international arms dealer, knows that Bishop would never be killed so easily, and manages to track him down to hire him for a job. Crain wants Bishop to kill his three biggest rivals in the arms trade. Killing bad people isn't such a bad thing, is it? But Bishop really takes his retirement seriously, so he changes his name again and moves to Thailand. Crain is persistent. He kidnaps Bishop's girlfriend to blackmail him into working for him. It's not a smart move to make an enemy of the world's best killer-for-hire.

This is a sequel to the "The Mechanic", made in 2011. I haven't seen it yet, but I was excited by two things. "Mechanic: Resurrection" stars Michelle Yeoh, one of my favourite actresses. It's also the first film made in English by Dennis Gansel, one of my favourite directors.

Unfortunately, Michelle Yeoh only plays a very small part, ten minutes at the beginning and two minutes at the end. I was also disappointed to see that the film is very untypical for Dennis Gansel. I know him for deeply provoking melodramas, such as "Napola", "The Wave" and "We are the night", but this film is a rather shallow action thriller. I wouldn't have recognised "Mechanic: Resurrection" as his work if I didn't already know he was the director. I can only suppose that he was working under severe restraints, with a screenplay that he wasn't allowed to change. Jason Statham isn't known for playing roles with feeling, he's an action star, but even he seemed flatter than usual, let down by a poor script. The film is merely a series of vignettes, exciting by themselves, but held together by the thinnest of plots.

Monday, 27 June 2016

Never Been Kissed (4 Stars)


Didn't I watch this film a short while ago? Yes. If you check my alphabetical list of posts you'll see that I watched it six weeks ago on May 19th. I was working my way through the films starring my favourite actress, Leelee Sobieski, but at the moment I've stalled after only six films. I intend to continue next month. Don't worry, when I get to the end of her films I'll publish a list of her films in the sidebar so that you can read the reviews in order, even if they're spread so thinly in my blog that you would otherwise have problems finding them.


I haven't mentioned it yet, but Leelee Sobieski has quit acting. I thought this was only temporary while she was taking time looking after her children, born in 2009 and 2014, but it seems that she doesn't intend to return. In 2012 she said in an interview with Vogue, "Ninety percent of acting roles involve so much sexual stuff with other people, and I don’t want to do that". I don't understand why she said this. As far as I remember, almost none of her films have her doing sexual stuff. There might be occasional kisses, but that's about as far as it goes. When I re-watch the rest of films I'll remind myself, but until then I'd say that in Leelee's case it's not 90% of her roles, it's 5% or less. If she really wants to avoid sexual roles she could specialise in horror films, because they almost never have any explicit sexual scenes. Alternatively, she could audition for parts in Steven Spielberg's films, because it's well known that his films don't have love scenes.

It's a real shame. For years I've considered her to be the most skilled actress alive today. She's attractive, as you can see from the photo above, but it's more like that. She exudes talent, and it'll be thrilling to watch her 40 years from now when she's a grand old dame of cinema. Presuming she doesn't give up acting before then.

For now I'll have to content myself with re-watching her body of work so far. 26 films, four mini-series and one television series. So it's not just a random occurrence that I've watched this film again so soon. I want to watch Leelee's films to remind myself how talented she is.

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Never Been Kissed (4 Stars)


"There is a big world out there, bigger than proms, bigger than high school, and it won't matter if you were the prom queen or the quarterback of the football team or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it".

This is the sixth film starring Leelee Sobieski, made in 1999 when she was still 15. Interestingly, she plays a character who is 17 years old. As you can see in the photo above, she looked older than 15. She had already reached her full height of 5'10" and towered over Drew Barrymore, who is only 5'3".

When Josie Geller (Drew Barrymore) was 17 she was the ugly girl in school. She didn't fit in. She'd never had a boyfriend, and she didn't even have a date for the prom. Now she's 25 and works as a journalist. She doesn't look ugly any more, but she's plain and forgettable. And she still hasn't had a boyfriend. She dreams of her magical first kiss, but her expectancies are so high that it looks like it will never happen.

Josie is given an assignment to return to high school posing as a 17-year-old to write a story about schools today. She's not as ugly as she used to be. Her face isn't as spotty and she's lost weight, but she still doesn't fit in. She's still an outsider. The only friend she makes is Aldys (Leelee Sobieski), the president of the school's Mathematics club, the Denominators.

Josie might not fit in with her classmates, but there's still a romance. She develops a crush on her English literature teacher. He also feels attracted to her, but he keeps his distance because he thinks she's only 17. It's an awkward relationship.

This is beautiful little high school comedy. I enjoyed it, even though Leelee doesn't play the main role.


A newspaper is shown in the film. It isn't completely legible, but it's clear enough to see that the same blocks of text are used as in "A Horse for Danny" and "Basic Instinct". The paragraph beginning with the words "Future plans" is repeated in the second, third and fourth columns. Sloppy.

Saturday, 29 November 2014

Machete Kills (5 Stars)


This week I finally bought "Machete Kills" on Blu-ray after seeing it in the cinema last year. Reading my original review reminded me that I was disappointed when I saw it. After watching it again I don't understand why. Maybe it was because I expected it to be like the first film? It's different, and I think the changes in style are justified. "Machete" was 100% grindhouse from beginning to end. "Machete Kills" is more of a James Bond spoof. It's so obvious that I don't know how I missed it the first time. I should have realised it at the latest when Miss San Antonio was presenting Machete Cortez his weapons, with dialogue that could have been spoken unchanged by James Bond and Q.

The film ends by preparing us for the sequel, or rather the third film in the trilogy, "Machete kills again in space". From what I've been told "Machete Kills" was a box office flop. That's a shame. I hope it doesn't mean the trilogy will never be completed.

"Machete Kills" is also notable for being Lady Gaga's first film role. Despite her character being seemingly killed in a car crash, it's already been announced that she will appear in the next film. Let's hope it will be made. I want to see more of her as an actress. It seems to me that in "Machete Kills" she's playing herself. I want to see if she has real acting ability. Among today's pop singers she's the one who impresses me most. She's more talented than most, nothing like the run-of-the-mill rappers being churned out by the American music industry. She also has an attitude that has made her notorious, shown by her skimpy clothing or even lack of clothing. In this respect many people compare her to Madonna, as she was in the 1980's. I'm sure that's meant as a compliment, but I disagree. When Madonna showed off her body, for instance in her 1992 photo book called "Sex", it seemed artificial. While many raved about it and many others were shocked by the contents, to me it seemed like a publicity stunt, an awkwardly deliberate attempt to shock. When Lady Gaga exposes herself it seems natural, like she's a woman who truly enjoys showing off her body.

This isn't the last you'll see of Lady Gaga.

Monday, 22 September 2014

The Killer Inside Me (3¾ Stars)


This is a twisted, though somehow fascinating drama, set in a small town in Texas in the 1950's. It was difficult for me to rate. I can appreciate the film's quality on so many levels, such as the atmosphere, the plot and the acting. On the other hand there are scenes that disgusted me so much that I wanted to turn it off. I could have given the film any rating between 1 and 4 stars, depending on my mood.

Lou Ford (Casey Affleck) is the deputy sheriff in Central City, Texas. Despite the grand sound of its name, Central City is actually only a small town in which everyone knows everyone. The only justification for its name is that it really is in the middle of Texas. Lou has a beautiful girlfriend, a school teacher called Amy (Kate Hudson), with whom he has a torrid sado-masochistic relationship, but she isn't enough for him. When he's asked by the town's biggest employer, the owner of a construction company, to run a prostitute (Jessica Alba) out of town who has had an affair with the employer's son, Lou begins an affair with her. Another sado-masochistic affair. Lou likes to hit women, and they enjoy it.

I personally have been involved in the S&M scene, on various levels, since I was at university. This isn't the place to describe my past in detail, but I do have fixed ideas on the subject which are rejected by many others in the scene, although I am convinced that I am right. I know that there are people, both men and women, who experience a certain amount of sexual pleasure out of being dominated, even if the domination involves being hurt. There are both men and women who act as dominants, either acting gently as loving dominants, or acting harshly as cruel dominants. In either case, especially the latter, it's the official party line of the S&M scene that whatever happens must be consensual. It's usual that in S&M relationships the submissive person has a "safe word" which he/she can use when he wants the dominant person to stop what he's doing. This has led to the commonly stated misconception that the submissive is really the one who is in control.

Based on my experience I am strongly of the opinion that men are ill-suited as dominants. Dominant men are unable to stop when they're sexually aroused and often go too far. A problem with men, both dominant and submissive, is that they consider the domination to be foreplay for sexual intercourse, whereas women can enjoy domination without sex. This means that domination by a man can frequently lead to rape. It's also my experience that dominant men tend to be below average intelligence, which further complicates the issue.

I don't know if Lou Ford is based on any real person, but to me he's a typical dominant male. Women submit to him, so he hurts them, but he's unable to stop, and the domination turns into abuse. In this film he kills the women that he's involved with, and then he's forced to kill men to hide what he's done. He's a disgusting creature.

Please leave comments if you agree or disagree with what I've written. Maybe I can go into the subject in more detail.

Monday, 14 October 2013

Machete Kills (4½ Stars)


Today I did something I've never done before. I treated myself to a double bill in the cinema. After watching "The Dark Knight Rises" I didn't have anything else to do, so I stayed to watch "Machete Kills". The Cineworld Unlimited cards are worth the money.

The ex-Federale Machete Cortez is hired by the American president to prevent a Mexican bandit from firing a missile at Washington D.C. Machete easily captures the bandit, but a trigger device has been wired to him that will fire the missile if his heart stops beating. Most of the film is a chase through Mexico, as Machete attempts to safely escort the bandit from southern Mexico into the USA to have the trigger device deactivated. A bounty of $20 million has been placed on Machete's head, so he is under attack wherever he goes.

I expected the film to live up to the original film, but I was disappointed. The problem for me was the chase scene. Too many different characters appeared to challenge Machete. They were interesting characters, so interesting that I wanted to see more of them, but they were killed too quickly. For me the film didn't really settle down until Machete crossed the border into America and only had one set of enemies to contend with.


I would only have given the film 4 stars, but I had to add an extra half star because Sofia Vergara looked so delicious with a whip. Every lash of her whip made me squirm in my seat.

Did I ever mention that I like girls with whips?

The film ends with Machete heading into space to face his deadliest enemy in the next film, "Machete Kills Again in Space". Will Machete be able to survive a fight to the death against Justin Bieber? The world waits with baited breath.

P.S. Was it intended to be an insider joke that Lady Gaga played a man?

P.P.S. The film contains an after-credits sequence.

P.P.P.S. The after-credits sequence isn't worth waiting for.

Monday, 24 June 2013

Machete (5 Stars)


I'm glad that director Robert Rodriguez toned down the old film effects in this film. The only fake film scratches are at the beginning. "Planet Terror" was a good film, but he overdid the effects. I can understand him wanting to make the film look old for nostalgic effect, but if you watch the film more than once it gets boring. My advice to Robert for future grindhouse films is simple: release the DVD with both scratched and unscratched versions, and let them be selectable using the Angle option. I assume this wouldn't be too difficult, since the films are first made in pristine condition and the scratches are edited in later.

I already reviewed the film here. It's a film that grows on me more every time I watch it. My only criticism is that too much is packed into the final showdown. It's like Rodriguez had lots of ideas that he felt the need to include before it was too late, such as the nuns with guns. This could have been easily solved by adding an extra 30 minutes to the film.

Friday, 22 June 2012

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (4 Stars)


I was disappointed with the first Fantastic Four film, considering it a total flop when I saw it in the cinema, but it's growing on me. The second film is the exact opposite; I loved it at first, but repeated viewing is showing me its flaws.

The story of the coming of Galactus, originally told in Fantastic Four #48 to #50, is one of the greatest stories ever told. It's Stan Lee at the heights of his creative brilliance. But the four-part story of Doctor Doom stealing the Silver Surfer's powers, told in Fantastic Four #57 to #60, surpasses it. This is the problem with the film. The two stories, told in a collection of seven comics, have been squashed into one story. It would have been more effective to make two films as the second and third part of a Fantastic Four trilogy. In the film I'm reviewing we barely get to know the Silver Surfer. In the comics he's a beautifully tragic character who soon became a favorite of fans who were begging him to be given his own comic. It's also a shame that the possibility of a love triangle wasn't explored. In Fantastic Four #49 the Silver Surfer grew close to the Thing's blind girlfriend Alicia, not the Invisible Woman as in the film. This exploded into a full out conflict in Fantastic Four #55, but it could have been integrated into the second film of a Fantastic Four trilogy. A longer second film would have given a chance to introduce the Watcher, who stood with Galactus in Manhattan in Fantastic Four #49 and #50 pleading for the Earth to be spared. The character of Galactus could have been developed, showing him not as an impersonal force but as a sad being who isn't really bad, he's just driven by hunger to do desperate things... like eating planets.

The third film would have had a chance to show prolonged fights between Doctor Doom and the Fantastic Four. Group battles, of course. I didn't like that the film combined all of the Fantastic Four's powers in one person. This weakened their credibility as a team, in my eyes.

I think that Marvel missed a chance with this film. If the Silver Surfer had been portrayed differently fans would be clamouring for a Silver Surfer film now. As it is, there's no interest, apart from hardcore 1960's comic fans like me. It could have been much, much better. Let's hope that some day in the not too far future there will be a reboot.

Click here to view the trailer. Sigh.....