Fast & Furious 10 (5 Stars)

It must sound like a cliché, but I have to say it:

"I expected Fast & Furious 10 to be good, but it was even better".

The action sequences at the beginning made my heart pound, and the excitement continued until the final minutes. The film retells the scene where the bank vault was stolen in "Fast & Furious 5". It's been falsely called a retcon in some reviews. Nothing is changed. What happened happened. We're merely given a few extra scenes, things we didn't see in F&F 5. We see that Hernan Reyes' son Dante was involved in the car chase. Dante Reyes is the main antagonist in F&F 10, seeking revenge for the death of his father. He doesn't just want to kill Dom and his friends, because that would be too merciful. He wants Dom to suffer before he finally dies.

I can't say anything about the plot without giving away spoilers. All I can say is that Jason Momoa is the perfect villain. Other reviews have compared him with DC's Joker. I can see what they mean, but I don't agree. He's more similar with the Riddler, as played by Frank Gorshin and Jim Carrey. Simply put, he's insane. Whatever he does is a game, and he enjoys it to the full.

There's just one spoiler worth telling: the film ends on a cliff-hanger. I can hardly wait for F&F 11 to see how it continues. I'll be queuing up to see it as soon as it hits the cinema.

Fast & Furious 9 (4 Stars)

This is the ninth film in the Fast & Furious series. In America it's called "F9", but "Fast & Furious 9" is the title in the UK. That's what I would have called it anyway, so that it's in the right place in my alphabetical list of posts.

I missed the film when it was shown in the cinema. I'm not sure why. I've owned it on Blu-ray since last year, but I've deliberately delayed watching it until the tenth film is in the cinema. The Blu-ray contains two versions, the theatrical cut and a Director's Cut. I watched the theatrical version today, and I'll watch the other version some time in the future.

The Fast & Furious franchise has to keep stepping up the action from one film to the next. It can't go backwards. In an early scene the cars were being attacked by an army with tanks. I sat looking at it shaking my head. "That's impossible", I told myself. I try to suspend belief, but "F&F 9" goes too far. That must have been obvious to the director/screenwriter, because Roman Pierce addresses his comrades afterwards:

"We've now been on insane missions around the world, doing what most would say is damn impossible, and I ain't got one single scar to show for it? I mean, look at my jacket. There are bullet holes from 14 dudes trying to take my head clean off its shoulders. We've taken out cars, trains, tanks. I'm not gonna even mention the submarine. And yet we're still here. We are not normal".

My thoughts entirely. It's like Roman is becoming meta? He's not a character in the film any more, he's speaking as a viewer. None of the team ever dies. Wait! Wasn't Han killed at the end of "Fast & Furious 6"? Yes, but in this film we find out that his death was faked. Gisele was also killed in "Fast & Furious 6", in a way that couldn't possibly have been faked. Or maybe she'll return in "Fast & Furious 12", telling her teammates that it was a body double. Anything is possible.

But the most outrageous stunt is saved until later in the film. A car is propelled into space, driven by Roman, accompanied by Tej. It has to be Roman. We've already established that he can't die. He rams an enemy satellite to destroy it, but he still survives.

What can "F&F 10" do to top this? Ask me again next week.

Michelle Rodriguez remains on the ground, but she's the film's heavenly body. She seems to be getting more attractive in every film. She's not normal.

Success Rate:  + 1.6

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Fast & Furious 8 (4½ Stars)

This is the eighth film in the Fast & Furious series. The title is silly, whether it's spelt Fate or F8. I hope you approve of my sensible renaming.

The team has two new members in this film. The first is Ramsey, the hacker we met in the seventh film. She was rescued from a Nigerian terrorist, but I didn't expect to see her return in the next film as a team member. Maybe she had nowhere else to go.

There were enough jokes in the last film about her not looking like a hacker, so I won't repeat them here. I'll just say that I agree. She doesn't look like a hacker.

Roman and Tej are vying for her attention. Tej (on the right) says he's the most suitable partner because he's also a computer expert. Roman (on the left) says he's the most suitable partner because of his sex appeal. If he says so.....

The second new member is Deckard Shaw, and his presence in the team is even less expected. In "Fast & Furious 7" he was the team's enemy. I knew he wasn't really a bad guy. He was only taking revenge for his brother. But now his brother has recovered from his injuries, so there's no need for him to work against the team. Apart from that, the mysterious Mr. Nobody got him out of prison on condition that he did a job for him. That job involves taking down an international terrorist called Cipher.

A shocking development in this film is that Dominic Toretto (Dom) turns his back on his team to work for Cipher. It's obvious that she has something she's using against him, but I'm not going to tell you what it is. If you haven't seen the film yet, now's your time.

In the 11-minute pre-credits scene the film returns to its roots. Dom takes part in an illegal street race in the streets of Havana, Cuba.

There's a scene in which we see Luke Hobbs working as a football coach. He's good. He's really good. I wish VfB Stuttgart had a coach like him.

He turns innocent young girls into lean, mean fighting machines.

I'd be scared to play with a girl like this.

This girl scares me even more.

And a girl like this would make me run and hide behind the goalposts.

You can see where they've got it from.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock is the ex-wrestler who's the most talented actor. I feel tempted to say that he's the only ex-wrestler who's a good actor. Most wrestlers are embarrassing when they try to act, but don't tell them I said so. They're tougher than me.

I'm glad that Paul Walker's character, Brian O'Connor, hasn't been written out of the series after his death. It would have been tasteless to hear the team talking about him being killed by an enemy in between the films. He simply isn't there any more, so we can imagine that he's settled down as a happy family man, living a quiet life in a house by the beach. He's had enough of being fast and furious.

Success Rate:  + 2.9

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Fast & Furious 7 (4 Stars)

This film's correct name is "Furious 7", but I've renamed it "Fast & Furious 7". It's annoying when films in a series are given random names. Besides, by giving consistent names the films are easier to find in my alphabetic list of posts. I hope my regular readers use the list a lot. I know I do. Whenever I watch a film that I've watched before, I read my old reviews first, and I use my list to find them.

"Fast & Furious 7" begins shortly after the end of the previous film. It's more accurate to say that it overlaps. The opening scene takes place before the mid-credits scene of "Fast & Furious 6". Deckard Shaw is the brother of Owen Shaw, who was left badly injured and comatose after the last film. Deckard visits Owen in the police hospital, slaughtering everyone who gets in his way. I counted 19 bodies lying scattered in the lobby and hallways as he walked out. He only spared the medical personnel, not the guards. Judging by the mass destruction left in his wake, they need to build a new hospital.

From what I understand, Deckard isn't necessarily a bad guy. He was an elite soldier in the British SBS and SAS. Wow! It's rare that someone serves in both units. He was trained to be a ghost, entering foreign territory undetected to assassinate Britain's enemies. He's a man who can never be found unless he wants to be found. But family comes first. Anyone who harms his brother has to be dealt with.

Deckard visits the DSS offices to find out who was responsible for his brother's injuries. No, he doesn't make an appointment. He breaks into the building at night and logs into the computer of Luke Hobbs to get the information. He doesn't reckon with Hobbs doing overtime. A fight with Hobbs puts him into hospital for most of the film, but he climbs out of bed to go into action in the last half hour.

The first person he kills is Han, as we saw in the mid-credits scene of "Fast & Furious 6". Then he attempts to kill Brian O'Connor by mailing him a bomb. A big bomb. After this his primary target is Dominic Toretto (Dom).

Help comes from unexpected quarters. The leader of a black ops military team who calls himself Mr. Nobody offers Dom his assistance in finding Deckard if Dom does a job for him first. A hacker called Ramsey has written a program called God's Eye that can process data from every device on Earth with a camera or microphone, everything from mobile phones to traffic cameras. Combined with facial recognition software, anybody can be found. A Nigerian terrorist has kidnapped her in Azerbaijan. If Dom frees her and retrieves the hard drive containing God's Eye, Mr. Nobody will assist Dom in finding Deckard Shaw; using God's Eye, of course.

Dom and his team go to work, but it's even more difficult than expected. Deckard is never far away. Dom rescues Ramsey (after an exciting car chase), but Deckard tries to push Dom's car off the road.  Ramsey tells Dom that the hard drive is in Abu Dhabi, but when Dom and his team go to collect it, Deckard is waiting for them.

There's a bittersweet element to the film. The actor Paul Walker, who plays Brian O'Connor, died in a car crash before the film had been completed. The crash was nothing to do with the film itself. The filming continued with slight rewriting. The final scene is a thinly disguised tribute to Paul Walker. Dom says farewell to Brian, and there are flashbacks to the previous films, but it's obvious that he's really saying farewell to Paul. The film is dedicated to him.

Paul Walker
12 September 1973 – 30 November 2013

Success Rate:  + 6.0

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Fast & Furious 6 (5 Stars)

The Fast & Furious films keep getting better as they go along. The action is getting more exciting and more exaggerated. The last 40 minutes of this film are totally over the top. A car chase including a high speed tank? Another car chase on a motorway with a plane trying to take off while it's being attacked by cars? I can't say that these car/tank/plane chases are realistic, but they're exciting beyond words.

At the end of the last film Dominic Toretto, Brian O'Connor and the rest of their gang walked away with $100 million each. Now they've retired from their lives of crime, living comfortably in countries that have no extradition treaty with the USA. Brian is married to Dom's sister Mia, and they have a baby son together. So what can happen to pull them out of retirement?

There's been a series of thefts by criminals using high speed cars. DSS agent Hobbs approaches Dom and asks for his help in catching the criminals. Normally Dom wouldn't agree to help, but Hobbs tells him that his girlfriend Letty, presumed dead until now, is one of the criminal gang. Dom assembles a team to do the job, almost the same team that he worked with in the last film. The two guys are missing who could only speak Spanish. I don't miss them, I've forgotten their names already. Having less characters makes the film tighter and more exciting.

These six are easy to remember: Han, Tej, Gisele, Dom, Brian and Roman.

Hobbs promises a complete pardon to all the team members if they succeed in capturing lhe leader of the criminal gang, a mercenary called Owen Shaw. He's stealing the parts needed to assemble a device that can shut down the power of a whole country for 24 hours. Okay, let's suspend disbelief here. Assuming that such a device exists, why 24 hours? Why not a week or a month or indefinitely? And why are the components scattered at random places around the world, like Moscow, London and Spain? It's hardly feasible, but let's not argue about it. It makes a good story.

Letty was recruited for Shaw's team after losing her memory in the accident that almost killed her. I've never understood memory loss. Is it really possible to simply forget everything after getting knocked on the head?

There's only one car race in the film, a race through the busy streets of London at night. Its inclusion in the film seems artificial. It's a gratuitous car race to satisfy the regular viewers who've grown used to the races since the first film. However, it seems like the franchise is slowly drifting away from the illegal car race scene into standard action films. I'd say that the first four films were car race films, the fifth film was a transition, and the action films begin with the sixth film.

This film is nine years old, but I'll still avoid spoilers. Two members of Dom's team die, so they won't be appearing in the next film. Which two? You probably already know, but I'll keep my mouth shut.

I've already saw the seventh film in the cinema seven years ago, and I still remember how thrilling it was. I need to watch it again soon.

Success Rate:  + 2.9

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Fast & Furious 4 (4 Stars)

As I've said before, the naming of the films in this series is such a mess that I've decided to rename them. The fourth film is officially called "Fast & Furious", which confuses everyone – especially me! – so I've decided to call it "Fast & Furious 4", which makes more sense.

It's supposedly another interquel, between "Fast & Furious 2" and "Fast & Furious 3", but it doesn't really matter. "Fast & Furious 3", officially called  "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift", is so far removed from the continuity of the other films in the series that it could be called a spin-off. In fact, "Fast & Furious 4" has more connecting it with the first film than the second.

The two main characters are FBI agent Brian O'Connor (Paul Walker) and the career criminal Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel). Brian was an undercover agent for the LAPD, but quit at the end of the first film. In the second film he made money from racing, but he's joined the FBI some time between the second and fourth film. Despite being on opposite sides of the law, Brian and Dom have great respect for one another. Driving fast cars unites people like that.

The paths of the two men come together by chance. Brian is trying to arrest the drug dealer Braga who has been smuggling heroin across the Mexican border. Dom's girlfriend has died in a car accident which he believes was caused by one of Braga's drivers. Braga is looking for a new driver, and he's arranged a car race to find the best driver. Brian and Dom both take part in the race.

As always in the Fast & Furious films, the plot is highly infeasible, but who cares? It's all about the action, i.e. the car races and car crashes. The action is becoming more exaggerated and over-the-top with every passing film.

Success Rate:  + 2.2

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Fast & Furious (4 Stars)

This is the film that kicked off the Fast & Furious franchise in 2001. So far there have been nine films in the series, alongside a spin-off film and an animated television series.

There's some confusion with the film titles, which I'll fix by heavy-handedly renaming the films. The actual title of this film is "The Fast and the Furious". Fair enough. But the fourth film in the series is called "Fast & Furious". The names of the other films, which I intend to watch slowly but surely, are also erratic, so I'll simply call this film "Fast & Furious" and number all the others 2 to 9, etc. That will at least put them in the right order in my alphabetical list of posts.

Now to the plot. A series of trucks have been stopped and robbed on the highway near Los Angeles. There's evidence that the culprits used specially modified racing cars. The police send an undercover cop, Brian O'Connor, to infiltrate the illegal racing car scene. He takes part in races on the streets of Los Angeles. Even though he doesn't win the races, he gains the respect of the reigning champion, Dominic Toretto. He also falls in love with Dominic's daughter, which is more of a problem than an advantage.

I admit that there are problems with the film. The character development is thin, to say the least. There are a couple of statements about Brian's past, but we don't know whether they're true or false information as an undercover cop. Dominic is the only well developed character, but we don't find out about him until late in the film.

These deficiencies are made up for by the action. As the title says, it's fast and furious.

Previously I've only watched the seventh film in the series. I recently bought a box set with the first eight films. It was so cheap that I couldn't resist. I'll watch all eight films eventually. I have a lot of other films that I want to watch first. It's not just my top films list, which is rapidly reaching completion. I have other films that I've scheduled for viewing from September onwards.

Success Rate:  + 3.5

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Alita Battle Angel (4½ Stars)

This is a film based on a Japanese manga series. It takes place in the year 2563, 300 years after a global war which led to "The Fall", the collapse of society. A small elite lives in a floating city called Zalem, while the majority of mankind lives on the ground in a slum-like society called Iron City. Humans still exist, but the majority of the population are cyborgs, with more or less of their bodies replaced by artificial parts.

The film begins with a scientist scavenging a junkyard for spare parts. He refers to himself as a doctor, because he repairs or replaces damaged cyborg limbs. He finds the upper half of a female cyborg in which the heart and the brain are intact. Based on the technology of the heart he surmises that the cyborg was built before the Fall. He rebuilds the cyborg using parts that he had intended to heal his daughter's crippled body before she was murdered. He wants to know who the cyborg was, but she has no memory of her past. He calls her Alita, the name of his daughter.

Maybe Alita has no memory of her past, but her instincts show that she's a highly skilled fighter. She fights and defeats other cyborgs much bigger than herself. As the mystery of her origin is unravelled she discovers love and she begins to stand up for what she considers unjust in the world.

I greatly enjoyed "Alita Battle Angel", despite my aversion to post-apocalyptic films. The film was directed by Robert Rodriguez, but it has more in common with the films of James Cameron, who wrote the screenplay. Even though James Cameron was only the producer, the film shows so much of his handiwork that I suspect he shared the work as director.

The new sport of Motorball is typical for post-apocalyptic films. It's an extremely violent game played by cyborgs on motorised roller skates which frequently leads to the players being injured or killed. For me this is the weakest part of the film. It's such a cliche that I groaned as soon as it was shown. It's an integral part of the plot, unfortunately, because only the champion of this sport is allowed to ascend to Zalem.

What the film has in its favour is action, action, action. If you want a good night out at the cinema to see a film without a lot of deep philosophical baggage, this is a good choice.

Widows (4 Stars)

A thief called Harry Rawlings steals $2 million in cash from Jamal Manning, a gang boss in Chicago. After a police chase the getaway van is destroyed, killing Henry and his three accomplices and burning the money in a fire. The next day Jamal, who wants to go straight by being elected as alderman, threatens Harry's wife Veronica. He says he'll kill her if she doesn't pay him back the $2 million within a week. He tells her the police won't help her because they don't care. She's a black woman and they won't listen to her.

This is the biggest plot hole in the story. Why would a gang boss think that Harry's widow would have so much money lying around? In her position I would have run to the police regardless, and if they didn't help me I would have left town as quickly as possible. Even if she doesn't have $2 million in cash lying around Veronica is fairly affluent, so she could easily afford to rent a hotel room in another town, preferably somewhere where the police are less racist.

Veronica gives in. She promises to deliver the money that she doesn't yet have. In her husband's notebook she finds details of a crime he intended to commit, a robbery of $5 million in cash. She contacts the other three widows and asks them to help her. Two of them agree. Then they begin to make plans.

This is a complex story with many minor details, but I won't say any more about the plot. It's a tough, gritty film with harsh violence. Viola Davis puts on an Oscar winning performance as Veronica Rawlings. If she's not at least nominated for an Oscar I'll be severely disappointed. I was also greatly impressed by Colin Farrell as the alderman candidate Jack Mulligan. I've seen him in a lot of films, and this is a very untypical role for him. His face is easy to recognise, of course, but his stance and his mannerisms are so different from anything I've seen him do before.

This isn't a perfect film by any means, but if you want to spend two hours watching a good action thriller, you won't be disappointed.

Fast & Furious 7 (4 Stars)

I skipped a couple of films here. More than a couple. I watched "Fast & Furious" on television about ten years ago, and this is only the second film in the series I've seen. The films in a franchise like this are usually suitable for standalone viewing, but in this case I think I've lost out slightly. Supposedly "Fast & Furious 6" was split into two films, because it was decided the story was too big for one film to do it justice. In the first 15 minutes of "Fast & Furious 7" there were repeated references to things that had already happened, probably in the previous film.

I didn't watch the film when it first appeared in the cinemas six weeks ago. The hype surrounding the film, combined with having missed the previous five parts, made me stay at home. But I was aware of the praise being heaped on the film, so I was getting more and more curious, and it's already become the fourth highest grossing film ever. This week is the last week it's playing in my local cinema, Cineworld Broad Street, so I thought I would go to see it while I have a last chance.

If I understand the Fast & Furious franchise correctly, after reading a brief summary online, it's gone through a slow shift in style from the first to the seventh film. It began as a sympathetic portrayal of lawless road racers, but the emphasis has shifted to being about good guys taking down bad guys. What links the films, rather than the plots, is the reliance on breathtaking car chases. That's what impressed me today more than anything else. Was it a good story? Who cares? The action was incredible. It's all about fast cars and gunfights. That's what makes the film a joy to watch. After seeing it today I want to go back and watch the first six films. I need to catch up on what's been happening so far.

An eight instalment of the film series has already been planned. There are differing rumours whether the complete series will contain eight or ten films. However many there will be, let's hope they keep getting better.

Machete Kills (5 Stars)

This week I finally bought "Machete Kills" on Blu-ray after seeing it in the cinema last year. Reading my original review reminded me that I was disappointed when I saw it. After watching it again I don't understand why. Maybe it was because I expected it to be like the first film? It's different, and I think the changes in style are justified. "Machete" was 100% grindhouse from beginning to end. "Machete Kills" is more of a James Bond spoof. It's so obvious that I don't know how I missed it the first time. I should have realised it at the latest when Miss San Antonio was presenting Machete Cortez his weapons, with dialogue that could have been spoken unchanged by James Bond and Q.

The film ends by preparing us for the sequel, or rather the third film in the trilogy, "Machete kills again in space". From what I've been told "Machete Kills" was a box office flop. That's a shame. I hope it doesn't mean the trilogy will never be completed.

"Machete Kills" is also notable for being Lady Gaga's first film role. Despite her character being seemingly killed in a car crash, it's already been announced that she will appear in the next film. Let's hope it will be made. I want to see more of her as an actress. It seems to me that in "Machete Kills" she's playing herself. I want to see if she has real acting ability. Among today's pop singers she's the one who impresses me most. She's more talented than most, nothing like the run-of-the-mill rappers being churned out by the American music industry. She also has an attitude that has made her notorious, shown by her skimpy clothing or even lack of clothing. In this respect many people compare her to Madonna, as she was in the 1980's. I'm sure that's meant as a compliment, but I disagree. When Madonna showed off her body, for instance in her 1992 photo book called "Sex", it seemed artificial. While many raved about it and many others were shocked by the contents, to me it seemed like a publicity stunt, an awkwardly deliberate attempt to shock. When Lady Gaga exposes herself it seems natural, like she's a woman who truly enjoys showing off her body.

This isn't the last you'll see of Lady Gaga.

Resident Evil (4 Stars)

Today is the first time I've seen this film since it was shown on television shortly after being released, about ten years ago. I couldn't remember much about it, except that it's a zombie film, and I don't like zombie films. Or at least, usually I don't. Ten years ago I used to hate zombie films, but now I'm more open-minded, and I judge each film on its own merits. This is in contrast to vampire films, which I love. Vampires are much sexier than zombies.

The film is based on a video game made in 1996. I've never played this game, but while watching the film I could get a sense of game-playing logic being applied, suggesting that the film follows the game closely. What I mean is that it was apparent that puzzles were being solved to progress deeper into a virtual labyrinth, a typical feature of strategy games.

A woman called Alice wakes up in a mansion suffering from amnesia. She is attacked and overpowered by an unknown man who enters the mansion, claiming to be a policeman. Before they can talk a group of soldiers come who capture the man and free Alice, saying that she is one of them. Together they venture into an underground lair, The Hive, in which the computer system has "gone homicidal" and killed everyone. With some effort, including loss of life, the soldiers manage to shut down the computer system, only to learn that it was not malfunctioning after all; it had attempted to kill everyone in The Hive in order to prevent the spreading of a deadly virus. The foolish action of the soldiers results in the unleashing of the virus.

Enter the zombies.

Watching it a second time today, the film made a good impression on me. I enjoyed the fast action, which rarely let up. I know the film has been criticised for the lack of character development. In particular, the lead character Alice, played by Milla Jovovich, walks around with the soldiers as a seemingly superfluous hanger on, looking like she is only in the film as eye candy. When her memory begins to return the film has progressed too far to be slowed down so that we can get to know her. This doesn't bother me much. I enjoyed the action, and even though I don't find Milla overly attractive her red dress is a welcome splash of colour in the otherwise dark scenes. For me the outstanding actors are Colin Salmon and Michelle Rodriguez, the soldiers One and Rain. Colin is one of the best actors I know, who never fails to bring quality and distinction into every role he plays. Michelle is a skilled actress, and she also makes it into my revised list of the world's most beautiful actresses.

I've already decided to watch the other Resident Evil films. Watch this space.

Machete Kills (4½ Stars)

Today I did something I've never done before. I treated myself to a double bill in the cinema. After watching "The Dark Knight Rises" I didn't have anything else to do, so I stayed to watch "Machete Kills". The Cineworld Unlimited cards are worth the money.

The ex-Federale Machete Cortez is hired by the American president to prevent a Mexican bandit from firing a missile at Washington D.C. Machete easily captures the bandit, but a trigger device has been wired to him that will fire the missile if his heart stops beating. Most of the film is a chase through Mexico, as Machete attempts to safely escort the bandit from southern Mexico into the USA to have the trigger device deactivated. A bounty of $20 million has been placed on Machete's head, so he is under attack wherever he goes.

I expected the film to live up to the original film, but I was disappointed. The problem for me was the chase scene. Too many different characters appeared to challenge Machete. They were interesting characters, so interesting that I wanted to see more of them, but they were killed too quickly. For me the film didn't really settle down until Machete crossed the border into America and only had one set of enemies to contend with.

I would only have given the film 4 stars, but I had to add an extra half star because Sofia Vergara looked so delicious with a whip. Every lash of her whip made me squirm in my seat.

Did I ever mention that I like girls with whips?

The film ends with Machete heading into space to face his deadliest enemy in the next film, "Machete Kills Again in Space". Will Machete be able to survive a fight to the death against Justin Bieber? The world waits with baited breath.

P.S. Was it intended to be an insider joke that Lady Gaga played a man?

P.P.S. The film contains an after-credits sequence.

P.P.P.S. The after-credits sequence isn't worth waiting for.

Machete (5 Stars)

I'm glad that director Robert Rodriguez toned down the old film effects in this film. The only fake film scratches are at the beginning. "Planet Terror" was a good film, but he overdid the effects. I can understand him wanting to make the film look old for nostalgic effect, but if you watch the film more than once it gets boring. My advice to Robert for future grindhouse films is simple: release the DVD with both scratched and unscratched versions, and let them be selectable using the Angle option. I assume this wouldn't be too difficult, since the films are first made in pristine condition and the scratches are edited in later.

I already reviewed the film here. It's a film that grows on me more every time I watch it. My only criticism is that too much is packed into the final showdown. It's like Rodriguez had lots of ideas that he felt the need to include before it was too late, such as the nuns with guns. This could have been easily solved by adding an extra 30 minutes to the film.

Bloodrayne (3½ Stars)

The story takes place in 18th Century Europe. Rayne is a dhampir, the offspring of a vampire and a human. She's been captured by a travelling carnival and is being put on show as a freak. Until one day she escapes and vows to take revenge on her father (the vampire Kagan) for killing her mother. To do this she allies herself with an organisation of vampire hunters called Brimstone.

Kristanna Loken, best known for her role as a killing machine in "Terminator 3", is a beautiful woman, but in this film she somehow lacks sex appeal. Michael Madsen is an often criticised actor, but he puts in a good performance as the leader of Brimstone. Ben Kingsley gives a very impressive performance as the cool, reserved Kagan.

Maybe it's unfair that I'm giving this film so low a rating. The film's main weakness was made necessary by its very concept: it's a film based on a computer game. I've never played the game, but watching the film I can see all the elements of a game, so I suspect that the story is based closely on the game itself. There are quests, journeys, clues, and battles with monsters at key points. At so many points throughout the film I could see the main characters doing things immediately that as a game player I would have finally done by trial and error. That disturbed me, which is why I couldn't rate the film any higher. Please leave your comments about this film.

Click here to view the trailer.

Machete (5 Stars)

Have you ever seen a film that you've loved from the very first minute? This is one. Right from the opening scenes I knew it would be a great film, and I wasn't disappointed. Over the top violence, nurses in mini-skirts, nuns with guns. This film has it all! In general it's a serious film, but I couldn't help laughing when I saw the bouncing cars driving into battle.

A brief synopsis: a Mexican labourer is hired to assassinate a politician who wants to stop illegal immigration. When he's about to pull the trigger he realises he's been set up; the assassination attempt is just a fraud to win sympathy for the politician. After this he goes on the run, pursued by corrupt government officials who want to silence him.

The actors slot perfectly into their respective roles. Even Stephen Segal, who I've never particularly liked, is ideal as a katana wielding Mexican drug lord. I can't fault the film at all.

Avatar (4½ Stars)

Today I watched "Avatar" for the first time. Two years late. Why did I wait so long? The answer is simple. The whole hype about the film put me off. If someone tells me a film is great and I should see it I might watch it, depending on what I know about the person's tastes. If a few people tell me a film is great I almost certainly will watch it, to see what the fuss is about. But if almost everyone is telling me a film is great I rebel against the public opinion. I don't want to watch what everyone is watching. I want to be different.

Having said that, I have to admit that "Avatar" is a good film. It's not a science fiction masterpiece like "Terminator" or "The Matrix", but it's certainly better than the Star Wars films that I've always considered overrated.

I don't want to say too much about the content of the film itself. I expect most of my readers have already seen it. The premise is simple. A wheelchair-bound ex-marine is sent as part of an expedition to a remote planet called Pandora. With the aid of computer controlled biogenetics his consciousness is transferred into an artificial body which resembles the natives of the planet. While his mission is to infiltrate the native population for the purpose of mining valuable ore, he grows more and more sympathetic with the natives and their plight.