Do or die (4 Stars)

This is the sixth film in the Andy Sidaris collection, made in 1991. It's not to be confused with the low budget sci-fi thriller with the same name. It's annoying that (most) film names aren't copyrighted, but the alternative is worse. We'd have the same situation as with Gmail email addresses. I was one of the early people who applied for a Gmail address, so I got the address I wanted at my first attempt. Anyone who wants a Gmail account today has to add a random selection of digits and letters to his name, something like Mike72905zx. If we did that with films we'd be left with film titles like "Do or die 25C".

"Don't shoot! I surrender!"

What man wouldn't surrender when assaulted by a scantily dressed woman like Julie Strain? During her life she was a notorious tease. She assisted Andy in his presentation of his films for the DVD extras, but she used every excuse to bare her breasts and get him flustered. Poor Andy had to behave, because his wife Arlene was behind the camera. I'm sure she was amused by his reaction.

Keep your mind on the film, Andy!

It's too late! Julie insists on wearing the shirt as a skirt.

In the 1990's Julie Strain was known as the Queen of B Movies, but I always associated with the films of Andy Sidaris. She wasn't just an actress in Andy's films (five of them), she was his biggest fan. I'm sure that it was her suggestion to assist Andy in the film presentations, even the films in which she didn't personally appear.

Here's one more photo of Julie before I get to the film itself. Andy is trying his hardest not to stare, but the more he resists the harder it gets. Julie always wins.

The agents Donna Hamilton (Dona Speir) and Nicole Justin (Roberta Vasquez) return from the previous film. This time they're not sent on a mission, the mission comes to them. A man called Kane, full name Masakana Kaneshiro, wants them dead. He tells them that over the next 48 hours six teams will be sent to kill them. Six? Obviously he expects the first teams to fail. It's a game for his amusement.

Kane is played by the great actor Pat Morita, who's best known for appearing in "The Karate Kid" and its sequels. He has more of a Bond villain air about him than any other character in the Andy Sidaris films. It's not just his appearance; it's the way he casually talks to his victims about his plans and how he intends to kill them. He should have returned in future films, but sadly he was replaced by another actor.

The two girls flee from Molokai to Dallas, via Honolulu, Las Vegas and Shreveport. On the way they pick up other agents, until they're finally a team of eight agents. Donna and Nicole prove they're fashion conscious by putting on new clothes on every stop.

They even put on disguises in public locations. Can you tell which is which?

Unfortunately, the disguises aren't enough. When Kane was with the girls he put a tracking device on Donna. He's always one step ahead. Worse still, the agents turn against one another, because they think one of their team is a traitor.

One of the agents is the singing sensation Edy Stark, shown here performing in Las Vegas. How could anyone suspect her of being a traitor after her loyal service in three of the previous films?

Another agent is Shane Abilene, the man who can't shoot straight. This is his third film, after replacing his cousins. Originally the Abilene cousins were high ranking agents, based on the yacht Malibu Express. Shane doesn't seem to have any significance in the Agency, and he's less important than Donna. He hardly appears in the film, except for the humour that he always misses his target.

Of the 12 would-be assassins I'll only point out Ava, played by the stunning Ava Cadell. It's typical for the actors in Andy's films to play characters with their own names. There's something else about her that's typical. She's killed in this film, but she returns in the next film playing a different character with the same name. I ought to write a list of how often that happens. Maybe I'll do it next time I watch the films.

Here's Andy Sidaris in his obligatory cameo. Almost obligatory. He was missing in the last film. It's not clear what he's supposed to be, but he looks like a cook taking a cigarette break.

One thing you have to say about Andy Sidaris is that his pictures are beautifully framed. Here's agent Donna Hamilton in a beautiful pink bikini offset against woodlands. Note the gun in her hand. She's beautiful but deadly.

This screenshot with Nicole Justin is equally beautiful. Her brown top matches the leafless trees. No gun for Nicole, she's only carrying a baseball bat. I can guarantee you that she isn't in the woods to play ball games. Unless bashing a man over the head with a bat counts as a game.

This film features only four former Playmates, which is the least since "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" in 1987.

• Dona Spier (Donna) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in March 1984.
• Roberta Vasquez (Nicole) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in November 1984.
• Cynthia Brimhall (Edy) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in October 1985.
• Stephanie Schick (Atlanta), more commonly known as Pandora Peaks, appeared in Playboy twice, in June 1995 and June 1996, but she didn't win the Playmate of the Month award. That's not fair!