Guns (4 Stars)

This is the fifth film in the Andy Sidaris collection, made in 1990. It was my intention to watch the 12 films in quick succession, but five films in nine months is a miserable performance. I watched the last film, "Savage Beach", in November last year. I can't even promise to speed up, because my main priority at the moment is the countdown of my top 100 films, which I want to complete before Halloween. Maybe I can slip in one or two of Andy's films if I'm ahead of schedule.

I always feel sad when I watch Andy Sidaris' introduction to the films. It's been 14 years since his death, but I still miss him. It's not just about the quality of his films. I used to see him on television being interviewed by Joe Bob Briggs, and he always seemed to be a genuinely nice guy. This is reinforced by seeing him in the extra features on the Blu-ray discs.

I also feel sad when I see the wonderful Julie Strain in the film introductions. For a long time she was called the Queen of B Movies, making over 120 films from 1990 to 2010. After years suffering from dementia she finally died on 10th January 2021. The world is truly a worse place without her.

But let's get to the film itself. An arms dealer is smuggling weapons from China to South America. The planes need to refuel halfway, so he plans to have them land on the island of Molokai in Hawaii. That's the base of the "Agency", so he commits a series of murders to lure the agents to Las Vegas.

Dona Speir returns as Donna Hamilton. Don't mess with her. She has a big gun.

Donna has a new partner called Nicole. You probably recognise her, because she played the bad girl Pantera in "Picasso Trigger". That's one of the few things I don't like about the Andy Sidaris films. Actors are frequently reused in different roles. It makes things confusing.

Another girl with a gun is Cash, played by Devin DeVasquez. She says that she relishes the power to have control over life and death.

Her gun might be smaller than Donna's, but it's just as effective.

She has an almost orgasmic pleasure when she sees a dead body slumped in front of her.

This is the third appearance of Cynthia Brimhall as Edy Stark. She's working undercover as a singer in a Las Vegas hotel. She performs several songs in the film, including the title song, "Guns".

She sings, "Don't play with guns, they ain't no fun".

But she isn't averse to using a gun when she must.

Unlike Cash, she feels no pleasure when she's standing over a dead body. It's just business.

In most of the films Andy Sidaris has a small cameo appearance. Instead of that, in "Guns" he's delegated the cameo to his son, Drew Sidaris.

This film features six former Playmates.

• Dona Spier (Donna) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in March 1984.
• Roberta Vasquez (Nicole) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in November 1984.
• Devin DeVasquez (Cash) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in June 1985.
• Cynthia Brimhall (Edy) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in October 1985.
• Kym Malin (Kym) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in May 1982.
• Liv Lindeland (Inga) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in January 1971.

It's worth watching the film for the beautiful women alone. There are a few gratuitous nude scenes. I like pretty girls, but I'm not so shallow. My preference is girls with guns.