Baby Dolls Behind Bars (4½ Stars)

This is a long awaited Blu-ray release of the Medina film "Baby Dolls Behind Bars", combined with "Bad Girls Behind Bars", a film directed by Sal V. Miers. The picture on the cover of the Blu-ray, shown above, only shows the Baby Dolls film. It's by far the better film of the two.

When "Bikini Frankenstein" and "Twilight Vamps" were released on Blu-ray last year I expected Fred to flood the market with Blu-ray releases of his erotic movies. That hasn't happened. Fred has to make sure there's a market for them. He's not a mega-rich director like Steven Spielberg, so he can't afford to make a loss. He's been playing it carefully by only releasing Blu-rays with Christine Nguyen, his most popular actress. Unfortunately, he's also re-released some of his erotic films on DVD, weakening his own market chances. There are still people who are happy with DVDs. My son Norman, for example, can't tell the difference in the picture quality.

I don't know if that's a problem of poor eyesight or missing concentration. I have no problem recognising a big leap in quality. This is seen most clearly in close-ups of Christine Nguyen's face. Here's a screenshot from the Blu-ray. Click on it to see it in its uncompressed form.

And here's a screenshot from the DVD. You can find other examples in my last review.

If anyone can't see the difference I'll hit him on the head with a statue of the Goddess of Phuket.

The actors in the Retromedia erotic films can be divided into three types: the softcore actors, the hardcore actors and the straight guys.

Type 1. The softcore actors are actors who star in softcore films (also called soft porn films), but never appear in hardcore films (hard porn films). Christine Nguyen is an example.

Type 2. The hardcore actors are actors who usually appear in hardcore films, so their nudity in Retromedia's softcore films is less explicit. Jenna Presley is an example.

Type 3. The straight guys – that's the best word I can think of to describe them – are actors who usually appear in non-pornographic films. They don't take off their clothes in Retromedia films. Mike Gaglio is an example. The first two types of actor are either male or female, whereas the straight guys are almost always male.

Most of my readers know the difference between hard porn and soft porn films, but I'll explain it for the few who're too innocent to have informed themselves. The main difference is that in hard porn films the sex is real, whereas in soft porn films the actors are only pretending to have sex. Some soft porn directors make a lot of effort to make the sex look real, whereas others don't care if it looks fake. Don't let yourself be fooled by the former group; if you can't see the penis sliding in and out, it's a soft porn film.

I'll refrain from a full review of the film. I'll just publish a few screenshots, all of which can be seen in uncompressed form by clicking on them. This is Jazy Berlin (a Type 2 actress) as the policewoman Sissi Dunlop. If all police officers dressed like this I would have embarked on a life of crime years ago.

Dale Rutter (another Type 2 actor) plays a federal judge. I'm often surprised how talented the hardcore actors are. 

The good judge has a heart attack after having sex with his secretary, Miss Baker. To be fair, I don't know if I would survive sex with Jenna Presley. She's too much for any man to handle.

Christine Nguyen (Type 1) plays the prison warden, Matron Grell.

Erika Jordan (Type 1) plays the notorious art thief Maggie Grey. She looks sexy even in a prison uniform.

Matron Grell gives her prisoners special treatment. That's yet another reason for me to start a life of crime. Alas, I've been a good boy all my life, and now I'm too old to change my ways.

Here's a list of Retromedia's erotic films, which Fred Olen Ray likes to call Bikini Films. I've marked the films released on Blu-ray.

The Medina Collection

1. Thirteen Erotic Ghosts (2002)
2. Bikini Airways (2003)
3. Haunting Desires (2003)
4. Curse of the Erotic Tiki (2003)
5. Bikini Carwash Academy (2004)
6. Erotic Dreams of Jeannie (2004)
7. Teenage Cavegirl (2004)
8. The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful (2005)
9. Bikini Chain Gang (2005)
10. Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (2006)
11. Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet (2006)
12. Harlots of the Caribbean (2006)
13. Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes (2006)
14. Bewitched Housewives (2006)
15. The Girl from BIKINI (2006)
16. Super Ninja Doll (2007)
17. Tarzeena (2007)
18. Voodoo Dollz (2008)
19. Bikini Royale (2008)
20. (BR) Bikini Frankenstein (2009)
21. (BR) Twilight Vamps (2009)
22. Bikini Royale 2 (2009)
23. (BR) Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (2009)
24. Housewives from Another World (2010)
25. Lady Chatterley's Ghost (2010)
26. Bikini Time Machine (2010)
27. Sexual Witchcraft (2010)
28. Bikini Warriors (2010)
29. The Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad (2011)
30. Dirty Blondes from Beyond (2012)
31. Busty Housewives of Beverly Hills (2012)
32. (BR) Baby Dolls Behind Bars (2012)

The McKendrick Collection

1. Strippers from another world (2013)
2. Big Bust Theory (2013)
3. Intergalactic Swingers (2013)
4. (BR) All Babe Network (2013)
5. Great Bikini Bowling Bash (2014)
6. Stacked Racks from Mars (2014)
7. Atomic Hotel Erotica (2014)
8. Lolita from Interstellar Space (2014)
9. Sexy Warriors (2014)
10. Bikini Avengers (2015)
11. College Coeds vs Zombie Housewives (2015)
12. Lust in Space (2015)
13. Erotic Vampires of Beverly Hills (2015)
14. Invisible Centerfolds (2015)
15. Cinderella's Hot Night (2017)
16. Sleeping Beauties (2017)

The Apocrypha

1. (BR) Bad Girls Behind Bars (2016)
2. Vixens From Venus (2016)
3. Cyborg Hookers (2016)
4. Cosmic Calendar Girls (2016)
5. Escape From Pleasure Planet (2016)
6. Paranormal Sexperiments (2016)

The Medina Collection consists of films directed by Fred Olen Ray using the pseudonym Juan Medina. The McKendrick Collection consists of films directed by Dean McKendrick. The Apocrypha consists of films directed for Retromedia by other directors.

Notes:

(1) "Haunting Desires" (Medina 3) is the only Medina film that hasn't been officially released on DVD.

(2) "Bikini Carwash Academy" (Medina 5) was re-released with a different opening credits sequence, listing the director as Sherman Scott.

(3) "Tomb of the Werewolf" (not listed above) was directed by Fred Olen Ray using his own name, but it's in the Medina style. It has almost the same cast as "Haunting Desires".

(4) Dean McKendrick made seven erotic thrillers for Retromedia, not listed above.

(5) Apocrypha? If you have a better name for these films, let me know.

As you can see, very few of the films have been released on Blu-ray so far. Only 6 out of 54. At the current speed they won't all be available on Blu-ray until 2033. I'm hoping Fred will speed up, but there are problems with the early Medina films. The first films were made in single density, so they need time-intensive remastering to be prepared for Blu-ray. Fred will only do that if he's 100% certain he'll make a profit. The later films shot in high density can be transferred to Blu-ray with a minimum of effort.

I want to collect all 54 films on Blu-ray, but the ones I'm most anxious to get are "Haunting Desires" and "Tomb of the Werewolf". Instead of being an equally billed double feature, a "Tomb of the Werewolf" Blu-ray could be released with "Haunting Desires" as an extra feature.