Men can't handle strong women. That's a generalisation, of course, but the
reason for generalisations is that they're usually true. I'm an
exception. I prefer women to be strong. There should be more exceptions.
The film begins with Pilar leaving her husband Antonio because he's been
beating her. She goes to live with her sister Ana, who lives in the same town,
Toledo in Spain. Antonio loves Pilar, there's no doubt about that, but he
can't control his temper. He joins a therapy group for men who hit their
wives. The dialogue would be comical if it weren't so tragic.
"I only hit my wife because she refuses to have sex with me when I come
home from work". That's what one of the other men says, not Antonio. In fact, Antonio mostly
sits in silence while the men reel off their excuses for domestic violence.
The therapist leading the group has difficulty explaining to them why they're
wrong.
Pilar and Antonio begin to meet one another again. They grow closer. Pilar
even returns to her husband. But this is where the problems escalate. While
they were separated, Pilar started a job at a museum. Antonio expresses
surprise, which suggests that she hasn't worked for a long time. At first she
works selling tickets, but she's an intelligent woman who wants to do more.
She learns about art and holds talks about the paintings in her museum.
Antonio is a weak, insecure man, so he accuses her of giving lectures on art
because she wants men to look at her. Finally, she's so good at her job that
she's offered a position at a museum in Madrid.
"But I work here in Toledo", Antonio protests.
Pilar replies,
"You're a refrigerator salesman. You can do that anywhere".
So Antonio does the only thing he can do. He hits her again.
Pilar's mistake was that she returned to Antonio after leaving him. There are
two types of men: men who hit women, and men who don't. Men don't change. If a
man hits a woman, he'll do it again. It's in his nature, and no amount of
therapy will change him. I have a good friend who repeatedly returns to a man
who beats her. I've given up arguing with her. When she's with him, I avoid
her, and when she leaves him I say "I told you so".
My father is a good example. He was married to my mother for 24 years,
and he never hit her once. He was far from perfect, but he couldn't hit her.
It wasn't in his nature. After leaving him, my mother married another man, and
she told me that he often hit her, but she made excuses for him. She said that
he was diabetic and couldn't control himself. That's utter rubbish. She should
have stayed with my father.
I've given the film a low rating because I find it depressing.
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