Wine: Haberschlachter Heuchelberg Schwarzriesling with Spätburgunder

I confess, Schwarzriesling and Spätburgunder grapes aren't a combination that I've experienced before, but the result is a mild tasting wine that's easy on the palate. From the first sip I was won over by the fruity taste.

It was also on sale at my local supermarket, alongside the Haberschlachter Heuchelberg Trollinger with Lemberger. They're both good wines, but this is the better of the two. I've read reviews that recommend it as a wine to accompany spicy food. That's possible, but I consider it an excellent wine to drink by itself. It's a wine that I'll buy again, even when it returns to its full price next week.

Grimsby (4½ Stars)

I didn't know what film to watch with my son Benjamin today. A friend of his suggested "The Spy and his Brother". I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. Then he told me it starred Sacha Baron Cohen, and it clicked. That's the German title of the film "Grimsby". I don't like film titles being changed in other countries, but in this case I can understand it. To an English person, the word Grimsby immediately conjures up an ugly town in northern England. To a German it's just a weird word that would send him running to Google.

Yes, the film is about a spy and his brother. Sebastian (Mark Strong) is a talented spy who works for MI6. His brother Nobby (Sacha Baron Cohen) is an uncouth layabout with eleven children. They meet after being separated for 28 years. Nobby wants to hold on to his brother, but Sebastian considers him an annoyance. The two brothers couldn't be more different, and the two actors play their roles to emphasise the differences. Sacha Baron Cohen is an eccentric comedian, as in every role he plays, whereas Mark Strong plays his role with deadly earnest, not even smiling.

And the film stars Rebel Wilson as Nobby's wife!

Watching it again today, I really wanted to give the film five stars. I couldn't. I was disgusted by the elephant sex scenes. I had a secluded upbringing. I never saw anything like that, and now I'm too old to get used to it. A typical male elephant has a 36 inch penis when erect. The very thought makes me shudder, without having to witness it close up.

Success Rate:  - 1.4

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Knock at the Cabin (4 Stars)

Amazon Friday #40

A family is taking a vacation in a cabin in the woods. That sounds like the typical setup for a horror movie, but the film is actually a psychological thriller. The poster shown above looks like a scene from a horror movie, but it isn't, it's a psychological thriller. Didn't I just tell you that? Four strangers break into the cabin and tie up the family. So it's a horror movie after all? You're not listening to me! I've already told you twice that it's a psychological thriller!

The four strangers, who claim to have only met that day, tell the family that the end of the world is coming. The only way to prevent it happening is for the family to sacrifice one of its members. It can't be suicide, one of the family has to be killed by another. The family refuses, obviously, thinking the intruders are insane. But as they sit in their chairs, tied firmly so they don't escape, they see reports on television of catastrophes taking place around the world. They aren't random catastrophes. The strangers predict each one before the news report comes.

The film has a lot in its favour. The suspense is eerie. The viewer suspects that the strangers might be telling the truth, but why have they been selected out of every family on Earth?

That's the film's biggest weakness. It's never explained why they've been selected. It's also never explained why the four strangers have been selected. What supernatural power is behind them? Is it God? The film is based on an award winning novel by the fantasy author Paul Tremblay. Maybe the book explains what's happening. I don't know. I doubt I'll ever read it.

Success Rate:  + 0.7

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Wine: Haberschlachter Heuchelberg Trollinger with Lemberger

It's been a few years since I last drank this wine. I couldn't remember its taste. I only returned to it today because it was on special offer at my local supermarket.

I tried to find out the exact details of the wine, but I couldn't find anything online. It's distributed by the wine cooperative in Möglingen, the Württembergische Weingärtner-Zentralgenossenschaft, but it seems to be the produce of a single vineyard. Haberschlachter Heuchelberg, if that's the correct brand name, only produces four different wines.

Compared with other Trollinger-Lemberger wines, this wine has a strong acidity, even more acidic than the Fellbach variant. Acidic wines are difficult to judge. Normally they become more enjoyable as you get used to them, the second glass tasting better than the first, but I didn't want to drink more than one glass last night. I sometimes drink a few glasses when I'm in company, but when I'm at home I only drink one glass, slowly sipping and savouring it.

It was a good wine for the price I paid, but I prefer the Eberbach-Schäfer Trollinger with Lemberger.

Blair Witch Project (5 Stars)

My local cinema showed "Blair Witch Project" today to celebrate its 25th anniversary. Huh? 25 years already? It seems like yesterday when the film was being given rave reviews as the start of a new genre.

The genre is the "found footage genre", usually considered a subgenre of horror films. Logically, it doesn't have to be a horror film, but I can't think of any found footage films which aren't horror films.

"Blair Witch Project" follows three young people, a woman and two men, who go hiking to do research on a witch who allegedly lives in the woods. They film their activities on two cameras, one digital and one analogue. It's intended to be a weekend expedition, but they get lost and they're wandering in the woods looking for a way home for six days. They argue with one another. They never find the witch, but unusual things happen around them, and eventually they stop filming. Are they dead? Probably. The film shows the footage when the cameras were found a year later.

The film is spooky and scaring. It's original. The film's plot was planned, but the dialogue was mostly improvised. Curiously, many viewers thought the film was a true story. Maybe they were fooled by the cinematography, in which the cameras were shaky. The film looked amateurish, but please, it should have been obvious to everyone that it was fiction.

The film was a huge success. It's often claimed that it was the film that made the biggest income, compared to its budget, 248 million dollars from a $200,000 budget. That's not true. "Vixen" earned 26 million dollars from a $20,000 budget.

Success Rate:  + 1241.0

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Five Nights at Freddy's (4½ Stars)

I recently read an article in which "Five Nights at Freddy's" is called a family friendly horror movie. Weird. I'd never heard that expression before. So after watching the film this evening I did some online research. A family friendly horror movie is a film that can scare children without traumatising them. It's a film in which the viewer is detached from the horror, i.e. he doesn't feel like he's the one being threatened or killed. I still didn't understand that explanation, so I carried on reading. There's one point made that I could understand. The age limits jump from 0 to 6 to 12 to 16 to 18 without gaps in between. A film might be suitable for a 10-year-old. Apart from that, children have different maturity, so what's good for one 10-year-old could be bad for another 10-year-old.

One thing that's surprised me is that the film has been parodied many times on YouTube children's channels. Check out the videos on the Shiloh & Bros channel, which have been viewed millions of times. My grandson Oliver has watched them repeatedly. He knows the names of all the robots in the film. I don't.

There's another thing that's always confused me about horror films, specifically "Five Nights at Freddy's". One of the main characters is Abby Schmidt, played by the actress Piper Rubio. She was only seven years old when she made the movie. Does that mean she wasn't allowed to watch the film when it was finished? I expect the filming itself wasn't as scary as the finished product, because actors on the set don't see the magic of cinema. It's all too real to be scary.

"Five Nights at Freddy's" is a good film. Maybe confusing in parts. It's never explained how Abby is able to draw the robots before she first sees them. Let's hope there's a plausible explanation in the sequel.

Success Rate:  + 12.9

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Die Schule der magischen Tiere 3 (4 Stars)

This is the third film in the series, and the title means "The school of magic animals". It's based on a series of children's books, of which 29 volumes have been published since 2013. Twenty-nine books in eleven years? Wow, someone has been busy!

Unlike the previous two films, most of the action takes place outside the school. In the opening scenes two new magic animals are introduced and given to deserving children, a crocodile and a cat. Both of them can talk, and both are able to turn themselves into unmoving stuffed animals at any time; usually when someone walks into the room who isn't allowed to see them.

The children are planning an event to show their support for the local forest. They don't want the trees to be cut down to make way for a luxury hotel. The trouble is that after months of planning it's announced that the fashion designer Maja Malakara is putting on a fashion show in the local museum. That doesn't matter to most of the class, but the 16-year-old Helena is a moderately successful YouTuber, and she wants to boost her popularity with a live broadcast of her class singing at the show. Can she persuade her classmates to abandon the forest for the sake of her YouTube fame?

I say that Helena is 16, but that's only a guess. The children look and act that age. It's 18 months since the last film was made, and fortunately the actors don't seem to have aged much. They won't stay young for the next 26 films. Make up artists can't work miracles, however good they are.

I've tagged this film as a musical. My definition is that a film is a musical if the main characters burst into song at random during the film. A film isn't a musical if the characters perform a song as part of the story. That's why I say "Rocketman" is a musical, but "Bohemian Rhapsody" isn't. I make the further restriction that a film isn't a musical if the main characters only sing at the end of the film, during or immediately before the credits. That excludes "Slumdog Millionaire". If I remember correctly, there are two scenes in "Die Schule der magischen Tiere 3" in which there are spontaneous musical numbers.

It's a good film. Oliver loved it, and he's already asking when the fourth part will be released. Personally, I don't think it's quite up to the level of the previous film, but I'll decide when I watch it again. It's definitely worth a rewatch.

Blade Runner (4 Stars)

It's seven years to the day since I last watched "Blade Runner". My blog never forgets. Last time I watched it I was disappointed by the slow, plodding pacing. Watching it today, I appreciated it more. It borrows from film noir, and it has the atmosphere of the classics from the genre. There's action in the film, but the final battle with the replicant Roy fizzles out. Roy describes his life as a tragedy, because he's seen things that nobody else has seen. This reminds me of the things that I experienced in my childhood. I saw places of beauty that no longer exist. I don't have photos, so when I die these places will die with me. It's tragic. 

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The Last Unicorn (4 Stars)

A unicorn lives in a forest which is blessed by her presence. It's always spring, never too cold, never too warm. She wonders why there are are no other unicorns, until a butterfly tells her that she's the last of her kind. A red bull has driven the unicorns away, possibly to their death. The unicorn decides to leave the forest to find out if the oher unicorns are still alive. This is a risk for her. In the forest she's immortal, but when she leaves it she can be killed.

So she goes on a journey to find the red bull which is supposedly the servant of King Haggard. She's surprised to discover that nobody recognises her as a unicorn. People no longer believe in unicorns, so they don't see her horn and assume she's a horse.

When she encounters the red bull he wants to kill her, so a magician saves her by turning her into a beautiful woman. King Haggard's son falls in love with her. So what's more important? Finding true love or finding her fellow unicorns?

This is a delightful film that appeals to both children and adults.

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Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (4 Stars)

I've heard criticism of this film for its reliance on CGI, to which I reply, "How else could it have been made?" It takes place in the Quantum Realm, a kingdom that's full of surreal scenery and incredible looking characters. There are walking buildings. Any attempt to make the film without CGI would have looked ridiculous. I'd have to give you a dozen screenshots to prove that the imagery is far more extreme than anything "Star Wars" has ever done.

Jonathan Majors appears in the film not only as Kang the Conqueror, but also as Immortus and Rama-Tut. He's an amazing actor. He was fired by Marvel because he assaulted his partner in real life. That's unfortunate. Personally, I don't think off-screen misdemeanours should be a reason for removing a competent actor. It's a typical American thing. If Kang returns in future films he'll be played by a new character. Now we see how the Marvel Cinematic Universe has blundered. In the original comics he always wore a mask. This would make it easy to replace the actor.

This is what he looked like when he first appeared in Avengers #8 (September 1964).

It's not just about Kang. Does Ant-Man have a future in the MCU? Nothing is certain. The actors are getting older. If the fourth Ant-Man film isn't made soon, will it ever be made? The only eternal Marvel actor is Hugh Jackman. As we heard in "Deadpool & Wolverine", "Fox killed him. Disney brought him back. They're gonna make him do this till he's 90". He'll need a lot of stunt men to last that long.

"Quantumania" is a good film, though not up to the level of the early MCU films. It's worth watching. It's much better than "The Marvels".

Success Rate:  + 0.4

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I'm Still Here (4 Stars)

In 2008 Joaquin Phoenix announced that he was retiring as an actor and would pursue a new career as a rapper. He hired a documentary crew to film him every day. A big screen version of the Osbournes. As we later found out, it was all a hoax. After 12 months he returned to acting. But what's remarkable is that almost nobody knew. His feeble attempts at rapping were ridiculed by the media, and he didn't care. He was even mocked by Ben Stiller at the 2009 Oscars.

What other actor would have done something like this? Only someone as insane as Joaquin Phoenix.

Here's the film's title song, which Joaquin performed live in Miami.

---

I'm still here,
I don’t scare,
I don't fear,
Don't even fear fucking fear.
I never cracked, never,
I don’t give, never,
I'll live forever, I'm the one that God chose.

I'm still real,
I won't kneel,
Unless it's God, my team know how I feel,
I never sold out, never, my good soul, never,
I'll live forever, I'm that one that God chose.

I heard the call, alarms sounding off,
Feeling guilty cause my night was spent fucking off,
History’s perverted me,
Words can never harm me,
Saying I’m the epitome of a motherfucking self-parody,
A charity being formed for this deformity,
Cause man can't conform for nobody.
I made it here despite the efforts of a few.
What can I say to a punk but "Fuck you"?
You might suggest I’m conscious at best,
A pretentious mess that can't get himself even dressed.
In response I don't get mad,
I shake you off,
Waving goodbye like I was last year's fad.
Trendsetting on you, I won’t be betting,
I let it go so long as you know I'm stormy weather,
And whether or not you're better or not,
Couldn't make a lick of difference from where I'm sitting at the top.

I'm still here
Through these years,
I don't scare
Don't even fear fucking fear.
I never cracked, never,
I don't give, never,
I'll throw it down,
You can bet on that, fella.

I'm still real,
I won't kneel,
Unless it's God, my team know how I feel.
I never sold out, never, my good soul, never,
I'll live forever, I'm that one that God chose,
Bitch!

Long-winded letters that I've written,
Once a snake has bitten I'll forgive but won't forget it,
Not taking revenge, I don't have the time to do to you
All the fucked up things, fantasies of ruining you.
Ain't got a crew, but I'll take on you,
Gotta wrap this shit up with you cause I'm so fucking bored.
Just this one thing I gotta say to let you know,
To get off my chest before this long rest,
I never betrayed you, I never did what you thought I did,
But still you came at me swinging, kid.
Nevertheless, I wish you the best, I pray you get to Heaven,
But more than likely you'll be burning with the Devil.

Here,
Through these years,
I don't scare,
Don't even fear fucking fear.
I never cracked, never,
I don't give, never,
I'll grow in value, you can bet on that.

I'm still real,
I won't kneel,
Unless it's God, my team know how I feel.
I never sold out, never, my good soul, never,
I'll live forever, I'm that one that God chose,
Bitch!

The Well (4 Stars)

This is the 32nd film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

Lauren is a young American woman who travels to Italy to restore a painting that's been damaged in a fire. On the bus into the village she meets three other Americans, who intend to camp in the woods to examine the local flowers. They promise to visit Lauren in the castle where she'll be staying, but she never sees them again. At night they're knocked out and put in cages around an old well. One by one they're thrown into the well to feed a creature that lives below.

You guessed it! The prison is in the castle's cellar. Lauren's work is somehow connected with the monsters, but I shan't say how. Watch it yourself.

I like the film because it has a retro feeling to it. There are no computer graphics, the gore is all handmade, like the Italian horror films of the 1980's. The director is Italian, and he's paying homage to those who have gone before him.

Steppenwolf (1 Star)

This is the 31st film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

I'll say it straight away: this is one of the worst films I've ever seen. Visually, it's competently filmed, but its atmosphere is so negative that I can't say anything else positive about it.

A woman called Tamara has lost her son Timka. She goes to a police station to ask for help, but the police are overrun by rebels who kill everyone. Tamara stands like an idiot while people are shooting one another all around her. The only survivor is a policeman called Brayuk who specialises in torturing prisoners. Brayuk offers to help her, and they set off on a journey across the country to find Timka. The similarity with "Mad Max" is obvious.

Here's the problem: when you have a film with two main characters, you need to sympathise with them. In "Steppenwolf" it's not possible. The woman is obviously mentally unhinged. When she's asked questions, she just says, "I need to find Timka. He was on the swings. Then he was gone". She annoys Brayuk, and he sometimes hits her, trying to make her talk sensibly.

As for Brayuk, he's one of the most disgusting characters I've ever seen in a film. I could have accepted him as a bad guy, but he's set up as the hero who's helping Tamara find her son. He shoots everyone he meets on the way. For instance, he sees an old man playing a guitar by the roadside. The man stops, so Brayuk tells him to carry on. The old man continues, while Brayuk and Tamara stand listening. After a few minutes Brayuk shoots the man in the head and they continue.

Why?

Killing is all Brayuk can do.

This is a dreadful film. I spoke to the festival organiser afterwards. I said I was disgusted with the film, and the organiser told me that that was the director's intention. That's no excuse for making a bad movie.

Interstate (3 Stars)

This is the 30th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

The film starts by introducing an Italian Mafia family in France. One of the family members has stolen money that belongs to the boss, so a hit man called Franck is sent to collect the money and kill him. The trouble is that the man is Franck's friend, so when he meets him he can't bring himself to kill him. Franck also goes on the run, not wanting to return to his boss.

Franck intends to drive to Belgium, but in a roadside restaurant he has a chance meeting with a student called Virgil and offers him a lift. At least, it seems like a chance meeting. Virgil has been stalking Franck for years. He's a serial killer, and he threatens to set Franck up as the killer if they don't become friends.

In itself the film is good, but too much is left unexplained.

The original French title is "Jour de Colère", i.e. "Day of Wrath". The English title makes no sense. An interstate highway is a road in America that links different states. This doesn't exist in Europe, because the countries are smaller and not divided into states. The roads that connect different European countries aren't called interstates. The film is a road movie, but it needs a different title. They could have stuck with "Day of Wrath".

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person (5 Stars)

This is the 28th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

It was introduced as the only film in the festival in which the film's title sums up the film.

Sasha is a young girl growing up in a vampire family. Young is relative. She's 68, but she still looks like a teenager. I know you'll tell me that vampires can't have children, but every vampire film re-invents vampire lore, and in this film there are vampire families living among us. Vampires aren't immortal, but they age slowly and die of natural causes after a few hundred years.

Something is wrong with Sasha. After 68 years her fangs still haven't dropped. Her parents take her to vampire doctors, who say there's nothing physically wrong with her. It must be psychological. She has to survive on blood packs ("baggies") that her parents buy for her.

When Sasha sees a boy attempting suicide her fangs grow for the first time. She recognises her purpose in life. She's a good person who doesn't want to hurt anyone. If she kills suicidal people she's helping them. Right?

The film is a subtle comedy. Not as hilarious as the previous film, but funny enough to raise a little laughter. I can strongly recommend this film.

Plastic Guns (4½ Stars)

This is the 27th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

It's a perfect contrast to the previous film. After a slow, boring film we needed something full of action and comedy. The whole audience was laughing.

The film is about the most wanted man in France. He killed his wife and children and buried them in the garden. Does it sound like a comedy already? In Denmark a man is arrested who's mistaken for him. Eventually he's released, but two reporters are convinced he's guilty and take him prisoner.

That doesn't sound like a comedy at all. But it is. It's hilarious, the funniest film of the festival so far. Watch it for yourself and see.

Breathing In (1 Star)

This is the 26th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

The film takes place in 1901 during the Boer War. A young soldier takes refuge in a tent where two women live, an elderly woman and her daughter. There's also a general who's unable to speak or get out of bed. He doesn't seem to be wounded. Maybe it's post traumatic stress.

It was by far the most boring film of the festival so far. For 90 minutes the women speak to the soldier about the horrors of war. There are several hints that something supernatural is happening, such as red lights on the battlefield outside the tent, but nothing stops the endless chattering.

I shan't shy away from spoilers in this review, because so little happens. Possibly the younger woman is a succubus. Or maybe they both are. When the film starts the young woman is weak, hardly able to walk, but at the end of the film the older woman kills the soldier, after which she's fit. It took 90 minutes before anything happened. 90 minutes of talking in a small space. Awful!

And yet the film has a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Did the film critics see something that I didn't?

Strange Darling (4½ Stars)

This is the 24th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

In the opening credits it's stated that there was a serial killer who committed murders across the USA from 2018 to 2020, and this film shows his last actions. This statement gives the impression that it's a true story, but it's not. That's a spoiler, but I think it'll help you understand the film better.

The film is told in six chapters, which are shown in non-chronological order. Is the director pulling a Tarantino on us? As it turns out, the order is important for the film's development. I shan't say more than that. I really don't want to spoil the film for my readers. Apart from telling you it's not a true story.

The director said in an interview that it was his goal to make a film that doesn't follow the usual tropes of serial killer movies. He wanted to do something different. He's succeeded.

Handling the Undead (3 Stars)

This is the 23rd film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

Sometimes a film is too Norwegian for its own good. As you know, Scandinavian horror films are different to horror films made in other countries. They don't rely on terrifying scenes or jump scares, they have a quiet, relaxing atmosphere. "Handling the Undead" takes this to the limit.

There's a family that lives in a remote community. Only a few houses. The grandmother becomes a zombie. Her grandson becomes a zombie. One of her daughters becomes a zombie.

That might sound like a typical zombie film, but don't forget that it was made in Norway. The zombies lie in bed all day waiting for someone to bring them food. Sometimes they're taken for walks, hand in hand. The family is worried that they might be suffering, so they consider killing them. Again.

I found the film okay. Nothing special, but okay in the context of the Scandinavian horror genre. The others that I talked to all hated it.

Things Will Be Different (3 Stars)

This is the 22nd film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

I have to admit something. I didn't understand this film. It seems I wasn't alone. Normally I'd rate an unintelligible film much lower, but I enjoyed the atmosphere and the mystery.

Joseph and Sidney are a brother and sister on the run from the police. They take refuge in a remote mansion that they call a safe house. In a small closet there's a time machine. Do they travel into the future or the past? It's not clear. All I could tell is that it was a short journey, only a few months.

They receive messages via an old-fashioned walkie talkie. Joseph and Sidney were doing a job for him. The robbery or something else? They're instructed to wait 14 days until they leave the house. But then they're attacked by different iterations of themselves who are trying to kill them. After killing their future selves, the voice on the walkie-talkie tells them they're stuck in a time loop that they need to break.

It all sounds fascinating, but I didn't get it. Nor did the people I talked with after the film. I assumed that they travelled into the future, which makes more sense to me, but most of them thought they went into the past.

In an interview after the film the director said he wants to make more films about time travel. I hope his next films are easier to understand.

Skunk (2 Stars)

This is the 20th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film festival.

I'm standing alone here. There was loud applause when the film ended. Everyone liked it. Everyone except me.

The film is about Liam, a 17-year-old boy who grows up with abusive parents. He's put in a care home, where some of the boys bully him, but as time passes he makes friends.

I have an aversion to films like this. I don't like to see children being abused. I don't like watching the violence in children's homes. I tried to have sympathy with Liam, but he had too many bad traits for me to be able to relate to him.

Ignore my rating and watch it if you're curious. You'll probably like it more than me.

A Different Man (3 Stars)

This is the 19th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

Sebastian Stan plays Edward Lemuel, a man with a disfigured face. He's attracted to Ingrid, the girl next door. She becomes a close friend, but he's too ugly for her to want a relationship. He takes part in the trial of a new drug, and he's cured. He looks like Sebastian Stan! Rather than telling people his looks have improved, he changes his name and pretends to be a different man. He tells everyone that Edward has killed himself. He finally has a relationship with Ingrid, who no longer recognises him.

So he lives happily ever after? Not quite. He meets Oswald, a man whose face looks identical to his old face. The difference is that Oswald is outgoing and self-confident. Ingrid falls in love with Oswald.

That might sound like spoilers, but a lot more happens in the film. At first the film disturbed me. Edward was so ugly that I found the film distasteful. But as the film progressed it grew on me. I've given it a three star rating (i.e. average) because I don't know what to do with it. I need to watch it again, and I might rate it higher.

A Place Called Silence (1 Star)

This is the 18th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

It's a film that divided the cinema audience. Some loved it and some hated it. It's a film that annoyed me. For most of the film I didn't understand what was happening. Shortly before the end of the film there were a series of short flashbacks, about 10 seconds each, which explained things. That's no way to make a movie! There are so many characters in conflict with one another. There's a mute girl called Tong who's being abused by her mother and bullied by girls at school. Several girls at school are murdered. Tong disappears, and a man confesses that he killed her, but when he tells the police where he buried her they dig up a man's body. There's a pervert who makes videos of young girls through their bedroom windows.

When the film ended I'd already decided on a two star rating. But then there was a mid credits scene in which Tong was sitting in prison singing. So she wasn't mute after all? Or she'd been healed? If I'd been eating popcorn I would have thrown it at the screen in rage. I felt that the director was making fun of the audience.

After the film I stood talking to people who liked the film. Interestingly, they had different opinions on what the film meant. One of my friends even claimed that the mid credits scene didn't take place in a prison, it was a religious cult. I give up. If anyone wants to explain the film to me, please write a lengthy summary in the comments.

The Substance (5 Stars)

This is the 16th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

Demi Moore plays Elizabeth Sparkle, the star of an aerobics programme. She's fired on her 50th birthday because she's considered too old. She discovers a wonder drug that will give her back her youth. The drug actually splits her into two different women, one young and one old. The two women have to be allowed to live alternately, one week at a time. That's not as easy as it sounds. The two women become jealous of one another and attempt to stay active too long.

This is an amazing film, and I've given it a top rating even though there are faults. Parts of the film are stretched out too long. The last 30 minutes could have been squashed into 10 minutes. There are also problems with the style. Most of the film is serious, but in the later scenes there's too much comedy. Nevertheless, I like the film, and I hope to see it again soon.

Parvulos (3 Stars)

This is the 15th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

The film takes place in a world that's been overrun by zombies. Three brothers live in a cabin on top of a hill. Their parents have become zombies, so the boys have locked them in a cage in the cellar. They keep their parents alive by feeding them animals in the hope that a cure will be found.

The director describes the film as a coming-of-age drama. That's not how I would have described it if he hadn't told me. It's a film that many of my readers might like. It's beautifully filmed, but I don't like zombie films. There's too much explicit gore for my taste.

Blood Star (5 Stars)

This is the 14th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

Bobbie is a young woman driving through New Mexico trying to clear her head. She's not really heading anywhere. Her boyfriend has been abusing her, so she needs to decide what to do.

She's stopped by a sheriff who makes direct advances. She turns him down, but he continues to stalk her on the highway. She finds out that he's a serial killer who picks on women travelling alone.

Many critics would say that "Blood Star" isn't original. Maybe it isn't, but I find it perfect as it is.

Mermaid Legend (3 Stars)

This is the 13th film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

The film was made in 1984, so why is it being shown at the festival now? After being shown at the Yokohoma Film Festival in 1984 it was lost. Weren't any backup copies of the tapes made? Evidently not. The film was finally found in 2021, and now everyone can see it.

An industrialist wants to build a nuclear power plant, so he's buying the land from fishermen on the coast. One fisherman who refuses to sell is murdered. The fisherman Keisuke is the only witness of the murder, so men are sent to kill him. His wife Migiwa takes revenge. She goes on a killing spree, killing the industrialist and everyone who has anything to do with the power plant.

I found the first half of the film slow and uninteresting, but once the killing started the film is brilliant.

Maldoror (4 Stars)

This is the eleventh film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

It's the true story of a massive scandal that rocked Belgium in 1995 to 1996. Two girls, seven and eight years old, were missing. The police were unable to find them, because the Belgian police system was in disarray. There were three major units, the gendarmerie, the municipal police and the judicial police, which competed with one another instead of working together. Only Paul Chartier, an impulsive young gendarme, had an idea who was guilty, but his efforts to solve the case were blocked by his superiors. When the dead bodies of the two girls were found, Paul was blamed for not finding them while they were still alive. He was fired from the police force, but he didn't give up and continued to investigate without a badge. He suspected that there was a child trafficking ring, and the girls had only been killed because the police attention had interfered.

The scandal was the revelation that senior police officers and judges were involved in the child trafficking.

I'd never heard about this scandal. It would be good to read about it.

Project Silence (4½ Stars)

This is the tenth film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

It's a mixture between a disaster movie and a monster horror film, once it gets started. The first 20 minutes are boring political discussions, but when the action finally starts it's an excellent film.

Dogs have been bred to be vicious killers. They're being transported towards Seoul. There's thick fog, and there are car pile ups on both sides of a bridge. The vehicle carrying the dogs also crashes, and the dogs break out. They kill anyone who leaves his car. There's a rescue attempt, but the helicopter crashes into the bridge, and the bridge begins to fall apart.

Finally a good film today! I've only deducted half a star because of the boring beginning.

Else (2 Stars)

This is the ninth film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

The film seems to be based on the recent pandemic, but the director says that he began to write it more than 10 years ago. There's a new illness spreading, so people are ordered to stay indoors. The illness causes people to mix with whatever they're touching. The illness passes by looking into a sick person's eyes.

If you're standing on a wooden floor your body becomes wood. If you're leaning against a stone wall, your body becomes stones. Once you become ill, the only way to remain healthy is to set a timer and move every 15 minutes.

Anx has a girlfriend Cassandra who becomes cloth after lying in bed too long, but he still loves her. Eventually he's rescued by a blind woman who lives in his house. Obviously, blind people are immune to the illness.

It's a strange film. It's mixed with absurd philosophical utterances. The blind woman claims that the illness is the next stage of human evolution.

She Loved Blossoms More (1 Star)

This is the eighth film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

What on Earth is the director trying to achieve with this film? Is it art or absurdity?

A man called Logo wants to bring his wife back from the dead. He designs a time machine and asks his son Hedgehog to build it before Christmas. Hedgehog and his two friends Japan and Dummy spend their days experimenting with their machine when they're not smoking marijuana or getting drunk. They send animals back in time, but when they return they're physically maimed and have to be killed. They they send Dummy's girlfriend Samantha back in time, and only her head returns, also physically distorted. See the picture above. Samantha incessantly speaks poetry, which annoys the three friends. And... never mind the rest. The film is a mess.

Kill (5 Stars)

This is the sixth film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

It's an Indian film, made in Hindi, and it's unlike any Indian film I've ever seen before. It has a very simple plot, but the film is effective in what it sets out to do.

Two soldiers, army captains, are travelling on a long distance train. There's a gang on board which intends to rob all the travellers. There are supposedly 36 gang members, but without counting, it seemed like many more were being killed.

It's a narrow train, so all the fights are at close combat. There are only short breaks between one fight and the next. It's violence for the sake of violence, and I was cheering for the heroes throughout the film.

This is the best film in the festival so far, and one of the best films I've seen this year.

Sayara (5 Stars)

This is the fifth film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

It's the first Turkish film I've ever seen. Are they all so good?

We were told that the film was turned down by other festivals because it's too violent. After watching the film I understand why.

Sayara is a young woman who cleans the floor in a fitness centre. Her older sister Yonca is having an affair with Baris, the centre's married owner. When Yonca sees Baris having sex with another woman she films it and threatens to send the video to his wife. As a result Yonca is murdered, and the authorities are bribed to call it suicide.

Sayara sets out to take revenge. She kills everyone who has anything to do with Baris in brutal hand-to-hand combat. The killings are very explicit. Sayara isn't a good person. She kills people who are innocent just to make Baris suffer. That almost made me rate the film lower, but after thinking it over I've given it a full five stars.

Peg Of My Heart (1½ Stars)

This is the fourth film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

A young psychiatrist has a patient, a taxi driver who's having nightmares. The psychiatrist can relate to him, because he also suffers from nightmares, so he doesn't just examine him, he does detective work to find out about the taxi driver's past.

The film is a shambles. There are so many nightmare scenes that it's sometimes difficult to tell what's really happening. The narrative is non-linear, jumping backwards and forwards in the lives of both the psychiatrist and the taxi driver.

There was one scene that was so ugly that I almost walked out. The psychiatrist gave the taxi driver electroshock therapy to cure him of his nightmares. That's extreme, isn't it?

Apart from this, there's a totally unnecessary mid credits scene.

Avoid this film. I'm being generous by not giving it a rock bottom one star rating. It's beautifully filmed. That's all it has in its favour.

Wake Up (3 Stars)

This is the third film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

A group of teenage environmental activists stay overnight in a furniture store to protest against the wood being taken from the Amazon rain forests. They spray slogans on the wall and generally make a mess everywhere. So they don't get bored they take their paint guns to battle with one another, three against three. Unknown to them, there's a mentally deranged security guard who reacts to the intrusion by killing the teenagers, one by one.

Is it a good film? That depends on what you want. The atmosphere is intense, and the jump scares are effective, but the story itself is weak. Is this really the way environmental activists would act? The film's premise is infeasible.

Speak No Evil (4½ Stars)

This is the first film in the Stuttgart Fantasy Film Festival.

It's a remake of the Danish film with the same name that was shown at the festival two years ago.

Ben and Louise are an American couple who live in England. While on holiday in Italy they meet an English couple called Paddy and Ciara with a son who's unable to speak. At first Ben and Louise are repulsed by Paddy's extroverted behaviour, but they begin to spend time with one another. They promise to meet when they return to England.

A few weeks later Ben and Louise go to spend a weekend at Paddy's remote farm. Once there they experience things that make them feel uncomfortable. For instance, Paddy seems to be abusing his son. When they try to leave the farm, they realise that they're trapped.

The remake is far better than the original film. Most of the story is the same, with only slight deviations, but it's a much better psychological thriller.

It's a good film to open the festival.

Super Wings: Maximum Speed (4 Stars)

Twice a month (usually the second and fourth Sunday of the month) my local cinema has a Cinemini event. It's a film specially picked for children from three to five years old. The lights in the cinema aren't completely turned off, they're just dimmed, so that young children aren't scared. Apart from suitable trailers, there are no adverts before the film. That's cool! Usually the films are shorter than usual, about an hour long, but today the film lasted 89 minutes.

Today was an important day for me. It was the first cinema visit of my granddaughter Evelyn, who was born in May 2021. It was a family visit for us. We were accompanied by her parents, my daughter and my son-in-law.

The film is a spin-off of a Korean television series about a group of intelligent airplanes. From the film alone I couldn't understand what the purpose of the planes is. The film concentrates on Jet (at the front in the picture), the world's fastest airplane. He does a job delivering parcels, but I'm not sure if that's his only job. It's a good job for him, because, as I said, he's the fastest.

Jet makes friends with a young YouTuber called Fay (or Pei in the original Korean) when he delivers her a parcel. This brings him into conflict with a villain called Billy Willy. Billy wants to stop people using YouTube, because he thinks they should play with toys, like in the old days. That doesn't sound so bad, does it? Unfortunately he also captures all the most successful YouTubers and shoots them to the Moon, where they can no longer work online.

Billy also wants to stop people visiting tourist attractions, so he covers them with goo. The Eiffel Tower, the Statue of Liberty, the pyramids and other famous tourist attractions are covered with sticky stuff. Yuck! That should be enough to make people stay at home and play with toys.

Jet to the rescue! First he acts by himself, then his fellow planes arrive to help.

Evelyn enjoyed the film, but it was too long for her. After an hour she was running around. In retrospect, the usual one hour limit would have been better.

She didn't understand the story. When I asked her about the film she could remember the planes and a few other things, but not what they were doing. She's too young. But she said she wants to go again. I want to make a film fan out of her.

Dead In Tombstone (4 Stars)

For me Danny Trejo is the ultimate B-Movie actor. He's rough, he's tough, and his gritty face instils fear whenever he walks into the room. Is he a good actor? I don't know, but I don't care. If he were any different he wouldn't be Danny Trejo.

In this film he plays Guerrero de la Cruz, the head of the ruthless Blackwater Gang. The film introduces them with their wanted posters. dead or alive, they're wanted for huge sums of money. They're told about a large amount of gold stored in the bank at Edendale, Colorado. It comes from a newly discovered thick vein, but it's being held until a legal dispute about the ownership is settled. That's not a problem for Guerrero or his men. If it doesn't belong to anyone, they can take it for themselves.

When they break into the bank they get a shock. It's much more gold than they expected, piled up on the floor, too much for them to carry. Guerrero is practical. He says they should pick up as much as they can carry and ride off. His gang mutiny. They don't want to leave any gold behind. Apart from the gold in the bank, the gold mine is still active, so they say they want to stay and take over the town. Guerrero's brother Red appoints himself the new sheriff on the spot. Guerrero protests, so Red and the other gang members shoot him on the spot. The next day they rename the town Tombstone.

So Guerrero is dead? Yes. He wakes up in Hell, where he's being tortured by the Devil, who's played by Mickey Rourke. How many actors have played the Devil? At the moment I can only think of Gabriel Byrne and Will Smith, but there must be many, many more. Guerrero makes a deal with the Devil. He promises to kill all six gang members if the Devil will bring him back to life. The Devil agrees, adding his own conditions. Guerrero comes back to life on the first anniversary of his death, and he has to kill the six men within 24 hours.

Unfortunately, Guerrero isn't equipped with any super strength or immortality. He's just a man, and he can be killed again.

It's a dark, brutal film. It isn't just one man against six. His previous gang members have hired dozens of men to back them up.

The film was released direct-to-video in October 2013. Despite the poor reviews, I think it's a good film. Danny Trejo meets the Devil in the Wild West? What else does anyone want?

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Wahnfried (3 Stars)

I bought this film because I wanted to find out about the life of Richard Wagner. Okay, I could have read a book or even spent time researching online, but I'm a film fan, and I get most of my information from films. I've already been criticised for this, but it's the way I am.

Unfortunately, the film didn't fulfil my expectations. It concentrates on the affair between Wagner and the married woman Cosima von Bülow, the daughter of the composer Franz Liszt. The film doesn't help any viewer like me with limited knowledge of Wagner's life. It was impossible for me to tell when the events happened. I knew it was over a period of years, because Wagner's son Siegfried became older as the film progressed. There was only one historical event that I could latch onto. Wagner shouted with joy when he heard that Prussia had just declared war on France. "We can finally drive the Jews out of Paris". At this point I paused the film to check the date of the Franco-Prussian War. July 1870. So I finally knew when the film was taking place.

But let's backtrack. The film begins with Cosima and her children coming to live with Wagner in Switzerland. Shortly afterwards Friedrich Nietzsche also arrives to live with them. Why? I'd have to read a book to find out. Cosmia's children, especially her oldest daughter Daniela, dislike Wagner.

For the first half of the film they live in Switzerland. Then they move to Bayreuth, a town that Wagner considers a paradise, because there are no Jews. When they arrive, Wagner has a house built. He also has a crypt built opposite the house, where he intends to be buried. Every afternoon he sits with Cosima looking at the crypt, discussing which one of them will die first.

Richard Wagner is an unpleasant person. He looks down on the people who listen to his music. He says that they don't understand his music, and he accuses them of falling asleep during the performances. He claims to love Cosima, but he yells at her whenever she interrupts him while he's composing. At other times, however, he becomes softer. He suggests they should move to Italy so he can concentrate on her and give up music altogether.

As for Cosima, she's a very stern woman. In the course of the film she never once tells Richard she loves him, not even when he declares his love for her.

Cosima's husband, Hans von Bülow, is a pathetic man. He intends to challenge Wagner to a duel, and he even takes shooting lessons to be sure of his victory, but he backs out at the last moment. He says that he understands music, and it would be a sin to prevent Wagner composing more operas.

Friedrich Nietsche, Wagner's closest friend, is a strange person. He says he's a vegetarian, but he likes to eat meat when nobody is watching. He tells Cosima he loves her, but she turns him down.

Wagner is a womaniser. Despite living with Cosima, we see him having two other affairs in the film. Cosima knows about the affairs and tolerates them. She tells one woman, an opera singer in Wagner's Ring cycle, "I want you to be with Richard because you make him happy, but as soon as the festival is over you should leave".

There are strange scenes in the film. Friedrich Liszt, who lives with the family in Bayreuth, has an affair with his granddaughter Daniela. Did that really happen? It's disgusting.

It's a difficult film for me to rate. It would have been better if the historical background had been explained in more detail, but evidently that's not what the director intended. The film has been made for people who already know about Richard Wagner's life. That's not me. But at least it's inspired me to do some online research into his life.