Wie Feuer und Flamme (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #91

This is a film which very few of you will get a chance to see. It's a German film, made in 2001, which has never been available in English. What makes it worse is that the German DVD is now out of print. It can be rented for 3.99 Euros on Amazon Prime in Germany, but the stupid licensing laws – I prefer to call it censorship – dictate that you have to be in Germany to watch it. I don't know whether to call that idiotic or immoral. It's a mixture of the two.

It's a weepy romantic film with some great music. The film takes place in 1982. 17-year-old Penelope Kaufmann lives in West Berlin. She visits East Berlin for her grandmother's funeral. Close to the cemetery she hears music, so she goes to investigate. A punk rock band is performing in an abandoned fairground. She meets and falls in love with the singer, Andreas Hausler, who prefers to call himself Captain. All of the band members use pseudonyms, such as Hacki, Meise, Bax and Kopfi.

Can a love affair succeed between a couple who live on opposite sides of the Berlin Wall? That's a rhetorical question. Of course it can't. Andreas tells her from the start that they have no future, but Penelope is naive and thinks everything will work out fine. Adding to the problems, the German secret service (the Stasi) is already observing Andreas, because they consider his music subversive and anti-socialist.

On her third visit to East Berlin, Penelope is arrested, and she's banned from entering East Germany ever again. Andreas is given a 19 year prison sentence.

I wish my friends could see this film. It's beautiful and sad at the same time. I've read reviews from critics who say that the film would be better if it just showed East German punks and didn't have a love story. That's silly. That would be like James Cameron making "Titanic" without Jack and Rose. No heart.

On another subject: I found an old decanter in the cellar which used to belong to my father-in-law. Today was the first time I used it. I poured half a bottle of Eberbach-Schäfer Samtrot into the decanter before the film started. An hour later I poured the wine into a glass, while the film was still running. The improvement in the taste, compared to a few days ago when I drank straight from the bottle, was amazing. This is the only way to drink red wine.

Legally Blonde (5 Stars)

I decided to watch this film today after discussing it with a friend. If you're reading this, you know who you are. I'm always willing to take suggestions from friends on what to watch next. That doesn't mean I'll automatically watch whatever's suggested, but I'll seriously consider it. In this case, I was glad of the suggestion. It's been almost 10 years since I last watched it, and I gave it five stars at the time, so why have I waited so long?

I shoved the film into my Blu-ray player, sat back in my comfy armchair, waited... and what happened?

"Disc cannot be played. Wrong region"

That is absolutely disgusting! I never knew the disc was locked to Region A, because my last Blu-ray player, which I bought in England, was multi-regional. The 4K player that I bought last Bonfire Day only plays Region B discs. Maybe I can recode it to multi-regional, but that's not the point. Region-locked DVDs are awful. Region-locked Blu-rays are even worse. I understand why the region thing was invented. It was so that cheap discs in one country couldn't compete with expensive releases of the same film in other countries. That's silly. International postage is so expensive that it would have to be a very big price difference to make it cheaper to buy abroad. Apart from that, why lock a disc to Region A (America) if it's not planned to release the film in Europe?

In this case, I bought the American release of "Legally Blonde" for the simple reason that it's only available on DVD in Europe. Oh! They never thought of that, did they? Region-locked discs are an abomination. The region code on "Legally Blonde" is telling me I'm only allowed to watch the film on DVD, not Blu-ray. That's something I don't accept.

Okay, I could still watch the film in my computer, because I have software that removes the region code. I'm still angry though. I want to punish the company that released the Blu-ray. I'm opposed to film piracy, but I'd like to distribute this film in full HD just to tell them that if they insist on region locking their films they'll lose money. I'm probably too late though. It's an old (-ish) film, released in 2001, so the pirates are probably already distributing the film. That's a shame.

After that rant I hardly have any energy to describe the film itself, but I'll do my best.

Elle Woods is a student at the City University of Los Angeles, studying fashion. She has a boyfriend from a rich, influential family. He boasts that his family has had five generations of senators. He dumps her, because he says he has to think of his image. If he wants to become a senator, he needs a respectable wife.

This inspires her to apply for Harvard Law School to win him back. She has a 4.0 average and an LSAT of 179. I'm not acquainted with the American education system, but I assume that's something good. She's accepted, and then we have the humorous theme of the whole film. She's a colourful girl in the midst of a drab, grey university. Despite her high intelligence, she walks around campus in bright pink clothes, talking like an air-headed bimbo.

Elle even has the most colourful laptop in the university.

After a bumpy start, Elle's intelligence and hard work pays off. A professor makes her an intern in his law film, and she helps defend a fitness instructor accused of murder. Does she get her boyfriend back? Yes and No. He wants her back, but she no longer considers him good enough for her.

This film is a masterpiece on so many different levels. It can be seen as a chick flick comedy, but it also deals with serious themes. It shows that women can be both beautiful and intelligent. They can compete in a men's world and come out on top. It's a film that's empowering for women, and not just aspiring lawyers.

Success Rate:  + 5.9

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Stan Lee Love Stories 4 (October 1969)

This story is from the first issue of "Our Love Story", published in October 1969. It was published in alternate months to "My Love". Why were there two comics, when they were identical in content and style? Couldn't they have been replaced by one monthly comic? Maybe Marvel just wanted to make a better impression by having two comics next to one another on sale.

Title: But oh, my lonely nights!

Writer: Stan Lee

Artist: John Buscema

In case you're interested, this is the editorial page from Our Love Story #1.

You can click on the images to enlarge them.

Kick-Ass 2 (4½ Stars)

This is the sequel to "Kick-Ass". It was made in 2013, three years after the first film. At first I thought it was the equal of the first film, but after watching it a few times I'm of the opinion that it's not up to the same level. Not quite.

In the aftermath of the first film, Dave Lizewski has given up being Kick-Ass. Mindy Macready, who's been adopted by her late father's best friend Marcus, is keeping up her training as Hit Girl. New super-heroes are appearing in the city, inspired by Kick-Ass. As we all know, Hit Girl was the real hero while Kick-Ass just tagged along, but she kept a low profile and is hardly known.

It's not just super-heroes who are appearing in the city. There are also super-villains, led by Chris D'Amico. In the first film he called himself Red Mist, but now he's the Motherfucker. Samuel L. Jackson would be proud of him.

These are the heroes...

... and these are the villains. Somehow the villains have the cooler costumes.

It's only a small selection of the heroes and villains. As the film progresses more and more arrive, until there are at least a hundred of each. There are so many that we don't even find out their names. Was that really necessary? Maybe that's what happened in the original comic, but it doesn't look good in a film.

Dave loses his virginity in this film to Night Bitch, the girl in the centre of the heroes. Mindy has her first kiss... with Dave. Hey, what's Dave doing? Can't he stick to one girl?

Jim Carrey appears as Captain Stars and Stripes, a born again Christian who rushes into action with an unloaded gun. After making the film he distanced himself from it, saying it was too violent. Please, Jim, don't be so uptight. It's only a movie.

J. J. North doesn't appear in the film. That's a pity. A 60 foot super-heroine would have been a good addition to the team.

Success Rate:  + 0.2

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Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #92

This is an example of how my tastes in films have changed over the years. This used to be my favourite film. I first saw it on videotape in the late 1990's, probably 1997. It was the very first film I bought on DVD from Amazon on 3rd August 2003. That's still the DVD that I'm holding in my hand today. I'd already bought a few DVD's from shops in Birmingham, but I'm sure it was among my first 10 films.

Maybe my tastes haven't changed that much. I didn't become a big film fan until I bought my first DVD player in 2003. I don't remember the exact date, but it can't have been long before 3rd August 2003. Sure, I'd watched films on television and videotape for years, but DVD's were a new experience for me. It's possible that I just didn't know that many films back then. On television I mostly watched the recent blockbusters. I only discovered older films later. "Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold" remained my favourite film until 2005, when other films started to push it down the list.

I wish I'd started writing my blog in 2003 instead of waiting until 2010. The Blogger service exists since 1999, but it only became free to use after Google bought it in 2003. A year later it was made possible to insert photos into posts. After that upgrades were incremental. There weren't any big changes from 2010 to 2020, just small cosmetic changes. Now the design interface has changed. It's unfamiliar to me after ten years with the old interface, but I can put up with it. What I can't put up with is the long list of bugs that Google is unable to fix. Google's customer support for Blogger is non-existent, but in a way I can understand it. Why should they offer one-on-one support for a free product? I'd be willing to pay a reasonable amount for the privilege of direct communication with a developer. As it is, I just send the same bug list once a month to Google. There's no reply, and the bugs aren't fixed.

The centerfold in the film's title is Angel, played by J. J. North. (I hate the American spelling of centerfold, but I'll use it in this blog post). She was the Centerfold of the Month for the March edition of Plaything magazine. Now she's one of the top three models, of whom only one can become Plaything's Centerfold of the Year. She thinks she won't be picked because her breasts are shrinking. She shows them to her doctor, but he can't see any problem with them. Can you? Nevertheless, he gives her a revolutionary new serum that should increase her breast size within a week. Angel is only supposed to drink one vial each day, but she's impatient and drinks half a dozen vials on the morning of the photoshoot.

The result is that she shoots up to 60 foot in height. Poor Angel wants to get back to normal, but Bob Gordon, the owner of Plaything, has other ideas. He wants to keep her at giant size in order to exploit her as the biggest centerfold ever.

One of the other models is jealous of Angel being picked as Centerfold of the Year, so she breaks into Angel's rooms and steals the remainder of the serum. Now there are two 60 foot centerfolds!

The two girls get into a catfight that leads them all the way from the beach to downtown Los Angeles. This is one of the most ridiculous scenes I've ever seen, but it's delicious as a parody. The two bikini clad giantesses battle in the street, while people are running away from them in fear. You would think it's Godzilla battling King Kong.

There's just one problem with the film. It's not just the oldest DVD in my collection, it's the worst quality. The picture is fuzzy throughout. There are different reasons. Partially it's a poorly mastered DVD. Partially the special effects are below the standards that we expect today. The film was made in 1995, before the days of green screens. It would have cost a lot more to make the giantess scenes look more realistic.

I wrote to Fred Olen Ray begging for a remastered Blu-ray of this classic film. He replied that it's not possible because the producer Roger Corman has "mislaid the negative". That's awful. How about remaking the film, keeping as close to the original script as possible? I hope Fred is reading this.

If you're a regular reader of my blog, you might have noticed that I've skipped a number in my top 100 countdown. It's not a mistake, I skipped #93 on purpose. I shan't tell you why, but I'll get to it eventually. Be patient. All will be revealed. If you can guess the reason, leave a comment, and I'll give you a simple Yes/No answer. No more clues.

Stan Lee Love Stories 3 (September 1969)

Title: Must I live without love?

Writer: Stan Lee

Artist: John Buscema

You can click on the images to enlarge them.

Titanic (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #94

Today I thought Oliver would watch his second film. He picked "Madagascar 3" from Netflix. He sat fascinated for the first 72 minutes. Then there was a quiet scene. The characters were standing in the zoo talking to one another. That was too much for him. He turned the film off, even though I begged him to watch it till the end. It was only another 20 minutes. It was too much for him. He watched some silly little cartoon instead. It was called Trotro, something I've never seen before. Oh well. Maybe he'll find the patience to watch another film soon.

Soon he went to bed, so I turned to the next film in my top 100, "Titanic". It's a brilliant film. I don't know why I don't watch it more often. Maybe it's the length. I've noticed that I'm reluctant to watch films longer than three hours, however good they are.

There's no point in me describing the film. Everyone knows what happens. It's a love story set on a sinking ship. Here's my advice to single women: if you're thinking about marrying someone, watch "Titanic" with him. If he doesn't cry, he's no good for you. It makes me cry every time. Even Celine Dion's song, "My heart will go on", makes me cry, because it reminds me of the film.

The film is so well crafted, it can be used as an example of how to make a film. As far as the Academy Awards are concerned, it's the most successful film ever. It received 14 Oscar nominations, of which it won 11. Will that record ever be equalled, let alone broken? Time will tell.

I still think that this is Leonardo DiCaprio's best film. I know that sounds like an insult when said of a film early in someone's career, but I honestly don't think he's risen to this level since. Kate Winslet, on the other hand, has made many outstanding films since "Titanic".

Some of the films in my list will be a matter of taste, but how can anyone not like "Titanic"? Please let me know. If you don't like "Titanic", leave me a comment telling me why you don't like it.

While watching the film today I drank a glass of Eberbach-Schäfer's Schwarzriesling. I tried drinking it the correct way, as recommended by David Klenert. I poured it in a glass and waited half an hour before drinking it. It was amazing. After 20 minutes the room was full of the rich, fruity smell. I've even considered putting a small amount in a bowl in my bedroom at night. The wine definitely tasted better after being allowed to breathe. I wonder if all high quality red wines profit from this treatment.

Success Rate:  + 9.0

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Joker (5 Stars)

I saw this film in the cinema in October 2019, and I was amazed. It didn't look like a DC film at all, and I say that as a compliment. It takes a different angle on the character who's been in the comics since 1940 and in films since 1966. In all the previous iterations of the Joker, he was a monster that we immediately hated. This time Joaquin Phoenix has done what he does best: he's presented a bad guy with a heart and soul that we can sympathise with. When he kills the Wall Street workers on the subway train, we can understand why he did it. Even when he kills his mother, we see that it's because she treated him badly as a child. By the end of the film we know that he's a bad person, but we can't help asking ourselves if we'd be any different if we'd been in his position.

There have been on and off rumours about a sequel ever since the film was made. All I can say is that I hope not. "Joker" is such a colossal piece of art that I can't imagine anything living up to it. Joaquin Phoenix won an Oscar as Best Actor for this film. Now let him quit while he's at the peak.

It's curious that the film isn't available on Blu-ray in the USA. I hope it's only temporarily out of print. I know that streaming services are being pushed more aggressively in America than in other countries, but by now people should know that Blu-ray offers better quality than streaming.

Success Rate:  + 17.5

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Madagascar 2: Escape To Africa (3 Stars)

This afternoon I was looking after my grandson Oliver, as I do every day. He reached an important milestone in his development: he watched his first film! This made me very happy. It was "Madagascar 2" on Netflix. I've attempted to watch films with him before, but he never had enough patience. The problem is that ever since he was three he's been watching videos on YouTube. They're short and action-filled. Things like "Tom and Jerry" and "Masha and the Bear". They last 10 to 15 minutes, and there's chaotic action from beginning to end. The problem with films is that the action is interspersed with conversation. For instance, he was watching "Ferdinand" last week and loved it, but half an hour into the film the action stopped and there was five minutes of the characters talking to one another. That was too much for him and he stopped watching. "Madagascar 2" has a very little conversation, the absolute minimum to let the viewer know what's happening. For me, as an adult, it makes it a bad film, but for Oliver it was perfect.

The story is about Alex, a lion who's lived most of his life in Central Park Zoo in New York. More by luck than by strategy he escapes and returns to Madagascar, where he was born. He's the rightful heir to become king of the jungle (or at least the nature reserve where he lives), but he fails the initiation test. He gets a second chance when the water in the nature reserve dries up, and he leads the efforts to re-direct a river.

Maybe I'll like the next film he watches. I might even try "Ferdinand" with him again. I quite liked it, as far as I saw it.

Success Rate:  + 2.0

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Stan Lee Love Stories 2 (September 1969)

This is another love story from My Love #1. Each issue contained three love stories. Some were knew, while others were reprints from the previous 30 years. I'll only publish the new comics written by Stan Lee.

Title: I dream of romance!

Writer: Stan Lee

Artist: John Romita

You can click on the images to enlarge them.